Warbird
Professional Wrestler
Asshole
Posts: 26
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Sooooo
May 27, 2018 13:23:08 GMT -5
Post by Warbird on May 27, 2018 13:23:08 GMT -5
Where does a guy go to get some feedback around here?
I decided to stick my dick out, and try something different. I was always bummed I never could seem to get Warbird going, and Buzzsaw just kinda fell off for some reason. I like the dichotomy of the two, and the whole opposite ends of the spectrum thing. Makes it fun to write for me. I’d like to hear some honest feedback on the RP, what worked, what fell on its face, and if there was anything that came across as ‘potential there, mine that shit’... any other ideas, comments...?
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Sam Kidsgrove
Professional Wrestler
International Champion
Posts: 476
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Post by Sam Kidsgrove on May 27, 2018 16:19:43 GMT -5
I did have aome feedback half written, but my power has gone out. The crux of it was basically i like the fact he's not a full on racist without an explanation why. The horrors of war and ptsd will be good if explored.
Buzz is pretty much reminding me of colossus in deadpool right now. Goody two shoes boy scout, hopefully he can be a bit more layered in future like warbird.
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Sam Kidsgrove
Professional Wrestler
International Champion
Posts: 476
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Post by Sam Kidsgrove on May 28, 2018 4:28:20 GMT -5
Woooo, PC turned on and all of it was still here!
I did love the fact that he is clearly fucked up with PTSD which is why he's such a racist dickweed. That makes the character seem much more real and much more rounded. I can't stand characters that don't have some sort of flaw, I also can't stand characters that are ALL flaw. It's a hangup from my years as a Dungeon master I guess.
I love that you can do some comedy too, even with some of the serious subjects he breaks into. I think the balance was just about right on this one, but you don't wanna go down the hole of being more racist. That will just turn people right off and make them invest less in the character, unless you're gonna play him as a 100% grade A irredeemable twat
Buzzsaw can be a good character, he's much less rounded than Warbird and some might think he's a bit cookie cutter good guy muscle guy. He reminds me of Colossus in Deadpool. He could be that foil to Warbird's crazy if he's written correctly. Maybe even have him change Warbird a bit, or him go slightly the way of Warbird and buy into his crazy racism.
I'd also be tempted to bring in a supporting character that will spark with both of them, like literally be their best pal in the history of the world, if he/she wasn't Arab.
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Warbird
Professional Wrestler
Asshole
Posts: 26
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Sooooo
May 29, 2018 16:50:49 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Warbird on May 29, 2018 16:50:49 GMT -5
Yeah, I’m kinda going for Warbird being hateful of people period, though his hatred of Islamists has a founding, really the only racial based hate that he has... ;P
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2018 7:22:31 GMT -5
I just going to leave this here. In my opinion Doc is one of the most underrated, underappreciated writers in e fedding.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2018 7:34:23 GMT -5
okay quickie review... I really enjoyed the roleplay.. it was a good introduction to Warbird and the way he thinks. If I had any critism it would be that it could have used more shoot, but then again the Flippys are jobbers so basically you were good to go anyways.
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