Posting What I Have (Sorry)
Mar 28, 2021 19:55:35 GMT -5
Azurine Vebbins, Johnny Bacchus, and 1 more like this
Post by Trey Bouchet on Mar 28, 2021 19:55:35 GMT -5
Plexcerpts From the Life of a Man in Full
“Skol,” Minka Starr raised her Raising Cane’s Lemonade to toast the man sitting across from her.
Trey Bouchet reciprocated. Their cups tapped. The pair began to drink.
It was the night of the Las Vegas Clash. The show was on-going, but the pair had left the arena early. They, along with Bouchet’s fellow members of the Undercard Revolution Johnny Bacchus and Debra Monroe, wanted to beat the crowd exiting the T-Mobile Arena.
Even so the chicken fingers speciality shop was bustling, with Deb and Johnny still waiting in line, leaving the duo alone for the moment.
Minka gave a satisfied smack of her lips, “Prett-ay, prett-ay gud,” she adjudged.
“Yep.”
“Be better with some vodka.”
“Heh. Probably.”
The young woman stopped dredging her waffle fry through a puddle of Cane’s signature sauce to give Trey a pointed look, “We cool?”
“Sure. Why do you ask?”
She shrugged, “Your tone. From what I’ve seen it’s normally more exuberant-”
“Plexuberant.”
“-yeah, more like that,” Minka smiled back at Trey for responding to the straight line she fed him, “Makes me wonder if you’re chafed about losing to me in the Plexhibition.”
“Nah. You got me. It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. It’s humbling, but I just have to keep it in persplextive. I didn’t fail; you succeeded.”
“Then why the mood swing?”
“Needed to,” The stubby little suplex machine noted, “I have bigger obligations now. Before, when I was just repping myself and my move, I could suplay it loose and easy. But I’ve made myself responsible for more than that. I’m the standard bearer for CruiserClash on a show that most see as superior to it. Contending for Clash’s top title makes me the default figurehead for Johnny’s Undercard Revolution. And by speaking out so much against Philidor, I got to stay serious, because they’re serious.”
Trey took a bite of his chicken finger.
“Are you happy taking on this new role?”
“Yes. It’s what we all want; to get to the top. I’m one match away from arriving at that spot. Being World Champion of Action Wrestling should mean a person represents everything good about the brand. I’m going to meet those plexpectations the way past champions haven’t.”
He paused briefly before confessing something personal to the relative stranger.
“It’s funny, because right now my real life is going through the same change. I’m getting married in six months. I got a wedding to pay for and we need to look for a house and plan about when to start raising a family. In and out of the ring; it’s time to grow up.”
Starr nodded before observing, “Yeah, just as long as you’re making some time for fun along the way.”
“Yeah, well, that was what the Plexhibition was for; until someone came along and threw a Minka-wrench into my plans.”
“I knew it!” the ingenue pointed a half eaten tender at Bouchet accusingly, “You do hold a grudge.”
The Cajun Catapult raised his hands as though attempting to fend off the allegation, “No, but for sure at some point I want a rematch.”
“Hm. I’ll think about it,” Minka grinned.
It was then Debra and Johnny returned to the table. They did not have their food and neither were smiling.
“Philidor turned on Howie,” Bacchus said bluntly; holding up his phone.
Trey and Minka were dumbstruck. They quickly got out their own cells and began checking their messages and social media for more details. Deb and Johnny slid into the booth to do more of the same.
Within minutes, the quartet had learned the full story; how during the main event of Clash Howard Black had refused accepting a sponsorship from the company and begged Lissie Hope to do the same. His defiance was rewarded with a no holds barred beatdown and a match at Timebomb against the one he sought to protect from the group’s machinations.
“Why’d he try that alone?” Debra lamented, “Howie had to know the attack was coming. There was nobody there to help him.”
“Lissie was there,” Johnny spat.
Minka spoke up, “You realize this means both CruiserClash and Clash ended with Philidor just beating the hell out of people for no good reason?”
“And management will do nothing about it. A curb-stomping like that helps build a match. Tort probably considers it acceptable red in the ledger” Bacchus observed angrily; plexposing one of wrestling’s dirty little secrets as he did.
“Then we make something happen ourselves. It’s our problem and we can fix it. All of us. Can’t stay neutral on a moving train, right, Trey?”
There was a pause, as Trey was watching amatuer footage posted to Twitter showing the mauling of the Lost Boy by Philidor Holdings.
“Right, Deb,” he agreed before looking back to the screen.
“Welcome to the Resistance, Howard Black,” Trey’s greeting was rich in both irony and melancholy..
***************
Shoot on Ash Blake and Corey Black
**************
(quote) Voiceover: Coming plexclusively to Shop Action Wrestling Online[/b]! It’s a way to simultaneously show your support for combating oppression and professional wrestling’s greatest offensive move![/color]
*A fashion runway is shown. Passing through the gold lame curtain comes Trey Bouchet! When he pauses to stare directly into the camera as it zooms in, the Cajun Catapult bears a plexpression that is pure Blue Steel. It’s what he’s wearing that matters though; as the view pans down to a heather grey tree showing art of one figure lifting another from behind at the waist and the declaration:
Voiceover: This Suplex Pins Fascists! Made from one hundred percent pre-shrunk cotton, this shirt is available in both men’s and women’s styles with sizes ranging from Small to Triple Extra Large. [/color]
*With a gait cribbed from studying tape of his old tag team partner Corso De Classe Bouchet peacocks down the catwalk.*
Voiceover: Coming in twelve colors and four different designs-
*There’s another close up of Trey’s intense gaze.*
Trey Bouchet: German.
*Quickly there’s a cut to Debra Monroe. She desperately tries to keep a straight face while wearing a similar shirt disuplaying the suplex she names.*
Debra Monroe: Stalling Vertical.
*Another transition to Johnny Bacchus. He gives a wink and proclaims-*
Johnny Bacchus: Snap.
*-before reeling off several with his thumb and forefinger.*
*Finally, there is the unpaid celebrity endorsement. A forty-something woman wearing one of the advertised shirts and holding a whiteboard identifies the final suplex option.*
Congresswoman Katie Porter (D-CA 45th District): Northern Lights.
*The scene shifts. Trey, Debra, and Johnny have taken it to the streets, fighting back to back to back with their weapon of choice. There a barrage of rapid fire cuts as they suplex an on-rush of Proud Boys, Groypers, Oath Keepers, and straight out and out unalloyed Nazis.*
Voiceover: The This Suplex Pins Fascists! shirt is moisture-wicking and machine washable. The dyes and fabrics are of the highest quality, meaning just like all good freedom fighters they don’t run!
*Whoosh! Wham! Trey Saito suplexes a man in a Pepe mask through a car windshield. Whoosh! Wham! Johnny hits the Northern Lights (with bridge) on a man wearing buffalo skins and horns; pinning him to the pavement. Whoosh! Wham! Monroe gets a Laura Loomer look-a-like into a bear hug and performs the Deb-A-Stator.*
Voiceover: But purchasing a This Suplex Pins Fascists does more than demonstrate your bonafides as a fashion suplayte. One hundred percent of the profit from each and every sale goes to Helping Holds, a grass-roots NGO with a four star ranking by Charity Navigator. Founded in 2011, Helping Holds’s mission is to aid retired wrestlers suffering from physical and emotional hardship.
*The commercial cuts again. Now Trey, Johnny, and Deb are literally standing atop a mound of defeated rightist goons. They’re smiling proudly, each sporting one of the advertised shirts while also dressed, posed, and plexcessorized in a manner reminiscent of Archibald Willard’s classic Spirit of ‘76 oil painting. Bacchus has the fife. Deb’s on the drums, and Trey waves a large American flag back and forth.*
Voiceover: Make a statement. Make a difference. Log in to Shop Action Wrestling Online now and order your This Suplex Pins Fascists! tee shirt today! (quote)
Rex Regent, ‘The King of Pins’, looked up from his laptop at the architect behind the advertisement.
“Huh.”
Trey smiled back at his long time trainer, “At a loss for words?”
Wrestling’s foremost advocate of the Hedgehog Technical Methodology was forced to admit that was the case, “Who’s the housewife selling the Northern Lights?”
“That’s Congresswoman Katie Porter. She’s a big time progressive figure in government.”
“She part of ‘The Squad’?”
“Nah, she’s kind of off doing her own thing. Congresswoman Porter’s not as media savvy as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or the others. But the people we’re trying to reach will recognize her.”
“So she’s got ‘indy cred’?”
“Plexactly.”
Regent plexhaled in bewilderment, and finally delivered his verdict on his student’s upcoming ad blitz, “You know, Michael Jordan wasn't wrong when he said Republicans buy sneakers too.”
“He acknowledged that was a joke in ‘The Last Dance’.”
“Doesn’t mean he was wrong,” Rex leaned forward in his chair, “You're taking a stand a lot of people are going to have a problem with. Your people; not just your fellow wrestlers.”
“I know, Rex. I hear about it whenever at the dinner table with Mom and Dad.”
“And I want to point out by taking any kind of political stand you’re opening yourself up to criticism that you’d easily avoid otherwise.”
“I’ll take the heat. That’s going to happen anyway. Look at Frank Venable and Sam Kidsgrove. Two guys who have taken stands and then been hammered for them non-stop because they’re not ideologically pure. You stand up for what’s right in any business and you become a target. All the whataboutism bullshit FPV and Kids have been dealing with; that’s coming for me too. I knew that the moment I opened my mouth instead of just ‘wrestling.’”
“You’re adding a new dimension to it if you start adopting causes that aren’t as popular as you might think outside your ‘Undercard Revolution’.”
“Being a World Champion means I have to be up to any challenge. Trying to make the world a better place is one.”
“By fighting ‘fascists’?”
“Hell, yeah.”
“Got to say, kid, the way that word is being used nowadays it’s starting to lose it’s meaning.”
“Not for me.”
“Then tell me, Trey, who are the ‘fascists’?”
“The bad guys.”
“Skol,” Minka Starr raised her Raising Cane’s Lemonade to toast the man sitting across from her.
Trey Bouchet reciprocated. Their cups tapped. The pair began to drink.
It was the night of the Las Vegas Clash. The show was on-going, but the pair had left the arena early. They, along with Bouchet’s fellow members of the Undercard Revolution Johnny Bacchus and Debra Monroe, wanted to beat the crowd exiting the T-Mobile Arena.
Even so the chicken fingers speciality shop was bustling, with Deb and Johnny still waiting in line, leaving the duo alone for the moment.
Minka gave a satisfied smack of her lips, “Prett-ay, prett-ay gud,” she adjudged.
“Yep.”
“Be better with some vodka.”
“Heh. Probably.”
The young woman stopped dredging her waffle fry through a puddle of Cane’s signature sauce to give Trey a pointed look, “We cool?”
“Sure. Why do you ask?”
She shrugged, “Your tone. From what I’ve seen it’s normally more exuberant-”
“Plexuberant.”
“-yeah, more like that,” Minka smiled back at Trey for responding to the straight line she fed him, “Makes me wonder if you’re chafed about losing to me in the Plexhibition.”
“Nah. You got me. It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. It’s humbling, but I just have to keep it in persplextive. I didn’t fail; you succeeded.”
“Then why the mood swing?”
“Needed to,” The stubby little suplex machine noted, “I have bigger obligations now. Before, when I was just repping myself and my move, I could suplay it loose and easy. But I’ve made myself responsible for more than that. I’m the standard bearer for CruiserClash on a show that most see as superior to it. Contending for Clash’s top title makes me the default figurehead for Johnny’s Undercard Revolution. And by speaking out so much against Philidor, I got to stay serious, because they’re serious.”
Trey took a bite of his chicken finger.
“Are you happy taking on this new role?”
“Yes. It’s what we all want; to get to the top. I’m one match away from arriving at that spot. Being World Champion of Action Wrestling should mean a person represents everything good about the brand. I’m going to meet those plexpectations the way past champions haven’t.”
He paused briefly before confessing something personal to the relative stranger.
“It’s funny, because right now my real life is going through the same change. I’m getting married in six months. I got a wedding to pay for and we need to look for a house and plan about when to start raising a family. In and out of the ring; it’s time to grow up.”
Starr nodded before observing, “Yeah, just as long as you’re making some time for fun along the way.”
“Yeah, well, that was what the Plexhibition was for; until someone came along and threw a Minka-wrench into my plans.”
“I knew it!” the ingenue pointed a half eaten tender at Bouchet accusingly, “You do hold a grudge.”
The Cajun Catapult raised his hands as though attempting to fend off the allegation, “No, but for sure at some point I want a rematch.”
“Hm. I’ll think about it,” Minka grinned.
It was then Debra and Johnny returned to the table. They did not have their food and neither were smiling.
“Philidor turned on Howie,” Bacchus said bluntly; holding up his phone.
Trey and Minka were dumbstruck. They quickly got out their own cells and began checking their messages and social media for more details. Deb and Johnny slid into the booth to do more of the same.
Within minutes, the quartet had learned the full story; how during the main event of Clash Howard Black had refused accepting a sponsorship from the company and begged Lissie Hope to do the same. His defiance was rewarded with a no holds barred beatdown and a match at Timebomb against the one he sought to protect from the group’s machinations.
“Why’d he try that alone?” Debra lamented, “Howie had to know the attack was coming. There was nobody there to help him.”
“Lissie was there,” Johnny spat.
Minka spoke up, “You realize this means both CruiserClash and Clash ended with Philidor just beating the hell out of people for no good reason?”
“And management will do nothing about it. A curb-stomping like that helps build a match. Tort probably considers it acceptable red in the ledger” Bacchus observed angrily; plexposing one of wrestling’s dirty little secrets as he did.
“Then we make something happen ourselves. It’s our problem and we can fix it. All of us. Can’t stay neutral on a moving train, right, Trey?”
There was a pause, as Trey was watching amatuer footage posted to Twitter showing the mauling of the Lost Boy by Philidor Holdings.
“Right, Deb,” he agreed before looking back to the screen.
“Welcome to the Resistance, Howard Black,” Trey’s greeting was rich in both irony and melancholy..
***************
Shoot on Ash Blake and Corey Black
**************
(quote) Voiceover: Coming plexclusively to Shop Action Wrestling Online[/b]! It’s a way to simultaneously show your support for combating oppression and professional wrestling’s greatest offensive move![/color]
*A fashion runway is shown. Passing through the gold lame curtain comes Trey Bouchet! When he pauses to stare directly into the camera as it zooms in, the Cajun Catapult bears a plexpression that is pure Blue Steel. It’s what he’s wearing that matters though; as the view pans down to a heather grey tree showing art of one figure lifting another from behind at the waist and the declaration:
Voiceover: This Suplex Pins Fascists! Made from one hundred percent pre-shrunk cotton, this shirt is available in both men’s and women’s styles with sizes ranging from Small to Triple Extra Large. [/color]
*With a gait cribbed from studying tape of his old tag team partner Corso De Classe Bouchet peacocks down the catwalk.*
Voiceover: Coming in twelve colors and four different designs-
*There’s another close up of Trey’s intense gaze.*
Trey Bouchet: German.
*Quickly there’s a cut to Debra Monroe. She desperately tries to keep a straight face while wearing a similar shirt disuplaying the suplex she names.*
Debra Monroe: Stalling Vertical.
*Another transition to Johnny Bacchus. He gives a wink and proclaims-*
Johnny Bacchus: Snap.
*-before reeling off several with his thumb and forefinger.*
*Finally, there is the unpaid celebrity endorsement. A forty-something woman wearing one of the advertised shirts and holding a whiteboard identifies the final suplex option.*
Congresswoman Katie Porter (D-CA 45th District): Northern Lights.
*The scene shifts. Trey, Debra, and Johnny have taken it to the streets, fighting back to back to back with their weapon of choice. There a barrage of rapid fire cuts as they suplex an on-rush of Proud Boys, Groypers, Oath Keepers, and straight out and out unalloyed Nazis.*
Voiceover: The This Suplex Pins Fascists! shirt is moisture-wicking and machine washable. The dyes and fabrics are of the highest quality, meaning just like all good freedom fighters they don’t run!
*Whoosh! Wham! Trey Saito suplexes a man in a Pepe mask through a car windshield. Whoosh! Wham! Johnny hits the Northern Lights (with bridge) on a man wearing buffalo skins and horns; pinning him to the pavement. Whoosh! Wham! Monroe gets a Laura Loomer look-a-like into a bear hug and performs the Deb-A-Stator.*
Voiceover: But purchasing a This Suplex Pins Fascists does more than demonstrate your bonafides as a fashion suplayte. One hundred percent of the profit from each and every sale goes to Helping Holds, a grass-roots NGO with a four star ranking by Charity Navigator. Founded in 2011, Helping Holds’s mission is to aid retired wrestlers suffering from physical and emotional hardship.
*The commercial cuts again. Now Trey, Johnny, and Deb are literally standing atop a mound of defeated rightist goons. They’re smiling proudly, each sporting one of the advertised shirts while also dressed, posed, and plexcessorized in a manner reminiscent of Archibald Willard’s classic Spirit of ‘76 oil painting. Bacchus has the fife. Deb’s on the drums, and Trey waves a large American flag back and forth.*
Voiceover: Make a statement. Make a difference. Log in to Shop Action Wrestling Online now and order your This Suplex Pins Fascists! tee shirt today! (quote)
Rex Regent, ‘The King of Pins’, looked up from his laptop at the architect behind the advertisement.
“Huh.”
Trey smiled back at his long time trainer, “At a loss for words?”
Wrestling’s foremost advocate of the Hedgehog Technical Methodology was forced to admit that was the case, “Who’s the housewife selling the Northern Lights?”
“That’s Congresswoman Katie Porter. She’s a big time progressive figure in government.”
“She part of ‘The Squad’?”
“Nah, she’s kind of off doing her own thing. Congresswoman Porter’s not as media savvy as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or the others. But the people we’re trying to reach will recognize her.”
“So she’s got ‘indy cred’?”
“Plexactly.”
Regent plexhaled in bewilderment, and finally delivered his verdict on his student’s upcoming ad blitz, “You know, Michael Jordan wasn't wrong when he said Republicans buy sneakers too.”
“He acknowledged that was a joke in ‘The Last Dance’.”
“Doesn’t mean he was wrong,” Rex leaned forward in his chair, “You're taking a stand a lot of people are going to have a problem with. Your people; not just your fellow wrestlers.”
“I know, Rex. I hear about it whenever at the dinner table with Mom and Dad.”
“And I want to point out by taking any kind of political stand you’re opening yourself up to criticism that you’d easily avoid otherwise.”
“I’ll take the heat. That’s going to happen anyway. Look at Frank Venable and Sam Kidsgrove. Two guys who have taken stands and then been hammered for them non-stop because they’re not ideologically pure. You stand up for what’s right in any business and you become a target. All the whataboutism bullshit FPV and Kids have been dealing with; that’s coming for me too. I knew that the moment I opened my mouth instead of just ‘wrestling.’”
“You’re adding a new dimension to it if you start adopting causes that aren’t as popular as you might think outside your ‘Undercard Revolution’.”
“Being a World Champion means I have to be up to any challenge. Trying to make the world a better place is one.”
“By fighting ‘fascists’?”
“Hell, yeah.”
“Got to say, kid, the way that word is being used nowadays it’s starting to lose it’s meaning.”
“Not for me.”
“Then tell me, Trey, who are the ‘fascists’?”
“The bad guys.”