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Post by Action Reel on Mar 22, 2021 22:51:50 GMT -5
PURE CHAMPIONSHIP
RULES:
5 RESPONSES
200 WORDS OR LESS.
SHOOT ONLY.
YOU CAN NOT RESPOND TO YOUR POST, NO BACK TO BACK RESPONSES, NOT EVEN ON SUNDAY!
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Post by Johnny Bacchus on Mar 22, 2021 23:13:05 GMT -5
Seems like all this month I’ve been making careers.
Trey Bouchet ✅ vibin Deb Moe ✅ vibin ZMac ✅ found jesus And now Harvey Marx? About to knock your teeth out on live television and give you an iconic look.
You can look in your hat but you ain’t pulling the W out of it. Now we see your relevance – now we don’t. But what you will be seein is that double tap Chimp Mode King’s Dead upside your abraca-dome. That’s Toon World, baby.
Am I making sense? If not, you won’t be the first. But I’m bi-many things and lingual is one of them. So if you can’t follow the jive, you can deffo understand the violence. Pretty hard to misconstrue a bootleg Yeezy to the grill.
Imma be straight with you guy, there’s only one Marx I fuck with and his name ain’t Harvey. Bought to seize your last name if you think you’re taking this title from my Gorilla Grip.
Nothing against you – you could be fine. Fine didn’t save Jeffy Cuddletrow from getting brained, nor NATE. I ain’t John Black, and you ain’t Max Daemon.
Don’t get blood on the Red Octobers xoxo
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Post by Harvey Marx on Mar 23, 2021 15:33:48 GMT -5
Another day, another amateur with cute puns.
Pull a W out of my hat? That's not how it works A through I in the hat, J through Z up my sleeve. You need a role model. My greatest trick yet will be to pull your head out of your ass and put it straight through the ring.. An iconic look? Please. This tuxedo has more Twitter followers than you. But I do appreciate a man with a sense of style, and I think that Championship belt might just put me over the top.
I have to say, Johnny, you're doing something right. The people love you even though they have absolutely no idea what you are ever trying to tell them. It's your superpower…..Wait did I just describe Johnny or Gravedigger's dog? Not sure.
I am a great illusionist with a deep wellspring of supernatural forces at my command. But it might be beyond even my powers to shut you up, Johnny. I'll settle for taking the title.
I will be…..PURE MAGIC!
See what I did there? Damn, I'm good!
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Post by Johnny Bacchus on Mar 23, 2021 17:59:21 GMT -5
Delicious. Finally a good fucking opponent. I see you Harv. Wish I didn’t have to though. I was just going Bugs Bunny on your ass 🙁
Now? 😈 You say whatever you want about me making sense or your suit’s followers on the Gram. But we’re a long way from Vegas, Toto. Seems like every week I watch some rook step in the bitch and make the same mistakes. You win a couple of matches, thinking you’re King Killa, and you can just waltz matilda into the Pure Division. Pardon my Joe Biden impression, but that ain’t happening, Fats. Maxy was the exception, not the rule. You come to AW to diversify your portfolio and sell some more tickets to your stage return – I came here to eat. We are not the same, my dude, and that stage swagger only gonna take you so far.
You beat up JB two weeks in a row. Grats. You think this JB the same JB. Lel. Week one of my career I dunked on an illusionist. Week three I cancelled a legend. There’s a real shitty Netflix show about dead magicians. We’re filming your episode this week.
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Post by Harvey Marx on Mar 23, 2021 21:56:00 GMT -5
My episode? Johnny, The Big Ticket would have to be the whole show. I wouldn't be upset. If they remember me when I'm dead I’ve done my job. A shitty TV show would be one more than you have Johnny.
Selling tickets is what I do. You’d have a hard time eating if nobody wanted to see you. Don't worry, I'm here to help with that.
Vegas was last week Johnny. I don't even perform there. I do what I do In Washington. Why? Because I don't go looking for the show, I make the show. Come see me in the Emerald City any time. I don't think you get it. I’m not going to return to the stage, I never left it. This one just has turnbuckles to smash your face Into. I’m exactly where I want to be. Bugs Bunny? I’m a freaking magician, Johnny. Comparing yourself to a rabbit just isn't going to end well. I just might drag you down a dark hole and into my wonderland…. and you'd never get out.
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Post by Johnny Bacchus on Mar 23, 2021 22:17:49 GMT -5
oof.
Man, I wanted to like you, dude. You seemed chill. Cut the bullshit smug act – I’m trying to be nice between saying I’m going to brain you. If you don’t wanna do it that way we don’t gotta do it that way: but I ain’t the bad guy when I smush you.
You know why peeps like you annoy me, Harv? You don’t know hunger. By your own admission. You got the suits? You got the show? Lemme tell you what I had before AW:
I slept on couches. I ate that Ramen-on-Ramen kick. I didn’t own designer until I thrifted that shit with my first Pure paycheck.
You wanna skip your ass down the yellow brick road and get cute with me? This ain’t the TV, US, or World Division – this Pure, my guy. Ain’t no cards up my sleeves, just them bootleg Red Octobers to your mouth.
We could’ve kept this cute. You don’t got anything going in this but jerking yourself off and strutting around in another tux. I’ve got an Undercard Revolution, and we are leaving Time Bomb ~d-r-i-p-p-i-n-g~.
Btw I got a shitty TV show. Smile – you’re on it.
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Post by Harvey Marx on Mar 23, 2021 23:25:05 GMT -5
I hear you Johnny. You're pissed, you're hungry and NOW you want to get serious. Well, it's about that time. You see Johnny, I put on a show…..but this has never been a game to me. My back is against a wall here in AW. I will perform, but I’m not here to play! You want me to drop my act? Be careful what you wish for, Johnny.
You put in the work? You hustled? You bled? You put in the time on the undercard? Good. That's what a champion does. You have a belt and you have earned it. Don't expect anyone to give you a cookie, too.
Johnny, have you even seen the movie? The one in the ruby slippers does all the cute skipping, not me.
I am the wizard, Johnny. The man with the plan, the vision, and the power. This is one road you don't want to go down. If I were you, I’d get to clicking those bootleg red octobers together and go somewhere far away.
While you still can.
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Post by Johnny Bacchus on Mar 24, 2021 9:22:17 GMT -5
I have seen the movie. I read the book, too, btw. I remember something about the Wizard: he was a joke living in a literal glass house and making everyone wear literal green-tinted glasses. Tale of sound and fury told by an idiot, signifying nothing. All pomp, no circumstance. Interesting 🤔 (No it's not).
It ain’t the Wizard who got the Witch – he just sat behind a projector chuckling into his tendies about how smart he is. Everybody’s gangster til the Squad shows up with the Broomstick, and I don’t need Toto to pull the curtain on your act. But I will click my heels upside your head and leave you laid out #PoppyField. And goddamn I’d look cute as hell in a little blue dress.
But you got the source material all wrong, Dark Magician – this ain’t Oz, this is Toon World. You’re another wiener walking in my division holding his gut like he’s the overdog. #NahSon. Every loser thinks they’re the overdog til they get punched in the ass and kicked in the face.
The Marx I fuck with is trending – I’m seizing your jacket after the match. (*insert predictable clapback about seizing my belt*)
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Post by Harvey Marx on Mar 24, 2021 10:28:26 GMT -5
Well, damn, it's nice to finally meet you Johnny.
The wizard is just a man with a projector. But people came to see him from far and wide and we know his name. It doesn't matter how it was done, it only matters that they BELIEVED in him and were taken to places they never thought possible. I don't trot out onto a stage looking like something between James Bond and a power ranger JUST because I like the attention. Though I do like the attention. So do you. You really would kick somebody's teeth in in looking like a legend in a blue dress. That's why I like you Johnny. No gimmicks. You live this.
I’d like to apologize to my fans for the dark mage bit a minute ago. It was a little much. No one can be the best at anything without being a little….intense. Hell, even my pyro man, Boris, would be impressed with the fire you're throwing Johnny.
Timebomb is already ticking. I’d hate to disappoint Boris or the fans. Let's blow this thing up Johnny.
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Post by Johnny Bacchus on Mar 26, 2021 11:12:09 GMT -5
Don’t trip Harv – we’re gonna blow this up, AND I’m gonna give you the last word. But this ain’t for you:
This is for everyone out there tired of the thought of another clout chaser snapping the strap and letting it rot. See, Harv’s putting food in his team’s mouths, but I’ve been feeding not just my boys but that crowd and this belt. On this mic, on the Twitter, in this ring – all eyes on me like a Shoggoth, my name on your lips like a tattoo. I am the Pure Division and have been since day one. Haven’t written a single bounced check, and nobody besides Bathory’s left my orbit anything but better. Harv’s next, just not how he thinks.
That’s #ChampMode shit.
A dumb man would say if I go down here, I’m just onto Havoc. That ain’t happening – I’m double-punching my card to Evo as Champion and Challenger. Harv’s an illusionist, but I’m an escape artist. So drag me to wonderland: see which of us comes up.
I may be monkee, but I ain’t a believer. But don’t worry Harv, you’ll do great in the TV Title consolation shot you’ve earned next week.
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Post by Harvey Marx on Mar 26, 2021 16:09:28 GMT -5
That was a really great speech. Hyping yourself right into next week. There's one problem.
THIS show isn't over yet. I can't be sure if it's my phenomenal talent, this hand made neon orange suit, or just the fact that I’m a husky gentleman. But nobody has looked past me in a long time. I like you, but I'll make you pay for that. TV title? I'm too good for the bait-and-switch, Johnny.
You feed the crowd? Are you even listening? What they want is The Big Ticket vs. The Obnoxious love child of Ric Flair and David Bowie here at Timebomb!
You're the escape artist here? You SERIOUSLY need a role model. Being an escape artist means hours in dark spaces. It means broken bones and knowing what it feels like to drown. You can barely untie the Red Octobers, Johnny. Call me when you can "escape" a grocery bag.
You think you know what's what? Perfect. That’s when I do my best work.
Do you see it yet? We're already in wonderland Johnny. You can leave after the match. But that belt stays. Now, let’s make Pure Magic
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