Post by Der Metzger on Mar 21, 2021 13:08:11 GMT -5
The year was 1994. I was attending Grundschule Holtenau. I'll never forget the day I returned home to see police surrounding our home. There was shouting from within the house, as guns were drawn outside. There was so much commotion that they didn't notice me standing next to an old, weathered officer. Over a megaphone, he called out to my father by name, pleading with him to not further escalate the situation. At such a young age, I couldn't understand the gravity of it all… so I simply stepped past the officer and started approaching the house. He finally noticed me and shouted to fall back, just as my father exited the house. There I saw my mother, too. He had her in a headlock while holding a gun to her temple with his other. In that moment, my heart sunk and the entire world went grey. I could see my father shouting at the police but only heard echoes. It was like another dimension, one where only the worst could happen. Then, as expected, the worst did happen. My dear, sweet mother bit my father's arm, forcing him to release the hold. She dropped down to the porch, and he again pointed his gun toward her head. There was a lot of shouting from all sides that I could not make out, but I understood the one thing my father shouted directly at me. As if in slow motion, I witnessed my father pull the trigger and heard a series of shots ring out from over my head. A bullet only grazed my mother, tearing apart her left ear… while those soaring over my head removed my father from this spiritual plain. The entire scenario has since played out in my brain on loop throughout my life and one aspect cuts the deepest. One would assume watching my mother shot by my father or my father killed by police would do the most damage to the psyche of a six year old boy… but through all of the echoes… with my entire world turned grey… I was then and am still haunted by the last words my father shouted to me... du bist nichts This time, she had been gone longer than usual. Fear filled my mind and again the world went grey. I imagined every terrible thing that could have happened to my mother, ranging from being in a transit accident to being stabbed in an alley to being dragged to Hölle by my father. Darkness had taken over and there was only one place to turn. If there was any trouble, my mother had instructed me to find the old man at the market a few blocks down by the name of Eldwin. He had looked after my father when he was a young man, teaching my father everything he knew to prepare him for a career as a butcher. Eldwin was a kind man with rough hands. He was a friend. When I found Eldwin, he was taking a break outside of the market. He put out his cigarette as I approached out of respect for my asthma. He saw my tears and opened his arms. Without hesitation, I fell in and listened to the raspy sound from his old lungs. "I'm so sorry, Todd," he said to me as a single tear fell from his eye onto my head. "She's not coming back this time, I'm afraid." How could he know for sure, I wondered. "Where has she gone?" I stepped back and wiped my own tears from my cheeks. "She's been gone for over almost a week." It was in that moment that I realized that she had been gone for six days, which was the four year anniversary of my father's death. "Oh… no…" "I thought something was off," he admitted to me. "She stopped by and dropped off your backpack, about a week ago. It didn't make sense at the time… but…" He continued to talk as we went inside and to the office, where he retrieved my backpack. He handed it over and I opened it up. To my surprise, there were various pieces of jewelry and more Deutsche Marks than I could count. Then I found a note from my mother that repeated my father's last words... du bist nichts The nefarious trio had every intent on harvesting my organs. Belle and I had our first and final kiss as a sleeping agent coursed through my veins. When I awoke, there were coolers filled with organs and I was the only one standing, covered in their blood. Something had taken over and the world was suddenly grey. Unlike before, the splendid colors of the world did not return. Looking back, I realize that fateful encounter was the twenty-fifth anniversary of my father's death. Three of the worst days in my life coincide with that date, and surely more if I dive deep enough into the archives of my deteriorating brain. Because of my treatment at Devil's Gate, I am capable once again of feeling fear. There is a crawling beneath my skin as that dark date is drawing near. it was mephistopheles all along |