Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2021 6:59:29 GMT -5
Twitch still buffering…
Chat: Who is it? When will you play GTAIV? Yay!
Dragon: After playing AW on 2K, and made fun of the glitchy controls, today, we’ve got someone from your Sensei’s Circle.
Chat: (shit-posting)
Dragon: Here to redeem AW2K 2021—
Teijin: I’m not. 2K would rather spend on “real” sports. Not our niche bullshit.
Dragon: And that’s one for Sensi’s Swear Jar.
Teijin: I’m not paying that!
Dragon: Anyways, my guest today is Action Wrestling’s Masuda Teijin.
Teijin: Hey.
They get to the player select screen.
Dragon: So feisty. Ok, well, do you think you can beat me 1-on-1?
Teijin: Maybe.
Dragon: You’re being you, right?
Teijin: Yes.
Dragon: How about… ooh, he looks cute and big.
Teijin: Walter? You said you’d fight fair!
Her avatar gets evil fire in its eyes.
Teijin: A ladder match? What the fuck?
The swear jar grows while ensuing gameplay, unsurprisingly, favors WALTER in a squash victory. Teijin has since gone silent.
Dragon: Well that was…
Teijin: Horseshit. Besides, they don't have my updated stats.
Dragon: We might just reach our charity goal in the first hour. Teijin-sama, what do you like best about wrestling?
Teijin: Why?
Dragon: We have a number of AW fans that want to know more about your shows.
Teijin: Wrestling isn’t a show. It’s a sport with real consequences.
Dragon: Shirimasen…
Teijin: Dragon—you’re from Minnesota. Don’t start affecting crap to justify your yaoi spankbank.
Her avatar takes on a scared and embarrassed expression.
Teijin: At the height of Asian and Pacific Islander dissent in this country. Sino discrimination rising while deep state hatred internally throws blame onto anything remotely associated with Wuhan. Seriously, what the fuck are we raising money for tonight?
Her avatar looks shocked.
Dragon: For Gran Neko, she’s moving to Minneaoplis!
**Squeeeee**
Teijin: So what, Patreon didn’t work out? That’s all I get from this masticated cud presenting itself as “American Wagyu” and 20-dollar Kobe burgers in Soho. You’re all the same. Fans of AW want to watch me go out in judogi before getting kicked in the balls by a Gracie. Seriously, fans that subscribe to Puroresu across the globe think that AW is bringing in their talent because they’re “turning Japanese” with honorable hearts. I'm not bowing to that nor making their dreams come true.
Dragon: Nani?
Teijin: Stop it! You’re the problem! Our best talent in AW gets extra warmups. During these constitutionals, fighters like me and Tsukiko go out and be Japanese. She isn’t distilled from the culture—she’s the real thing. Now pop a Ramune marble and sit the fuck down. This is my soapbox!
Her avatar has giant, swooning eyes.
Teijin: When I saw the match… I knew then my goal was to prove that wrestlers like Tsukiko and I surpass expected images. We might be strong style kick machines that can silence arenas with a chest chop, but we can be more than that. Crusier Clash is about to see that people under their shoes have a voice—and they don’t sound rike dis! We're spilling our blood Monday because we're fighters -- not samurai ninjitsu!
Dragon: Teijin-sama! You’re such an angwi boi! I love you....
Teijin: It’s just too bad I have to fuck up the only true Asian left on roster. Then do it for fans fluffing between a big PPV. I want to be on top… and it just absolutely sucks that I can only do that by destroying Tsukiko. I don’t want to, you fabulous fox, but I have to if I am to reach the mountain of Cruiser Clash.
The background changes to a cartoonish Mt. Fuji.
Teijin: KUSO! AW fans, see you Monday. Tsukiko—let’s prove all these dipshits wrong! Teijin out!
Dragon’s avatar looks swoon in silence.
Dragon: Oooh Teijin-sama… super kawaii!
His beautified picture shows in the background for the remainder of her stream.