Post by Spencer Adams on Mar 12, 2021 23:21:21 GMT -5
You know, I’m sort of impressed by you, Claire. I can see now that maybe you aren’t like all the rest, are you? It seems that you’re wired differently than every other hopeful on the planet. See, usually when it’s promo cutting time, people choose to use the time and resources available to them to let the world know why they’re a winner, to put their confidence on full display and strike fear in the hearts of their opponents. That’s not the route you went though. I start us off like a champion is supposed to and you present your one-woman show to the world.
Of course, tearing you apart is just part of the job for me. I get to call you a curtain jerker, because I’m up here and you’re down there. What’s your excuse though? I understand you have almost nothing worth gloating about and holding over the heads of others, but holy shit couldn’t you at least fake it a little? This is your first fucking shot where you puff up your chest and blast me with a flamethrower. Instead, all you let out is hot air. You try to tell the world you’ve got a chip on your shoulder and THIS is your moment while the crowd goes mild.
You bring up the narratives about you, but what I’m really interested in right now are the ones you put out into the world about Spencer Adams. The ones where you attempt to undersell the impact of the most accomplished man in this company while also saying they’re earned and merit a hall of fame ring, but that they...don’t mean anything? Is getting you motherfuckers in an unbreakable loop of self contradictions just a thing I do now? Out of all the ways you could’ve gone with this, you choose the Matty Mintz method of making no fucking sense.
I’m not untouchable, you’re right. I know I’ve tasted defeat as much as the next guy. I am, however, always and forever totally fucking unshaken by your existence. You say you gave me more than I could handle in a ladder match you gained no traction from and in an inaugural Battlebowl that...I won. I handled these things and either rose from them or outright won in the case of Battlebowl. I’ve continued building my brand and you’ve spent all your time holding onto the same lack of status you’ve always had here, a form of self hype I’m sure you learned from your time mucking it up with perpetual meme Jaice Wilds.
I’m just Spencer Adams, huh? That’s the pitch now, is it? Well, since you don’t seem to know what that means, allow me to clarify. Spencer Adams is JUST everything that has made this company into what it is today. It’s through my ability to adapt and make everything that I touch grow into something more than it would’ve been otherwise. When the question came up of who should face Donald Deruty back in 2018, the fans themselves turned and said Spencer Adams. People everywhere rushed to the polling link and when the question came up of who on the roster had the talent to save Action Wrestling from a drywall champion came up, there was one clear answer.
Walter takes the US title off Kyle Kemp and convinces himself that getting #MeToo’d would qualify him as a double champion and forces the hands of management who then have to strip the mongrel of that crown. The people over at ADub Towers sprinted from cubicle to cubicle and left a cartoonish storm of office supplies filling the air while the phones blew the fuck up, because their second hottest prize at the time was surrounded by question marks. Who was there to actually pick up the pieces? Was it Jacqui Monroe? Was it Shadowlove? Was it Abbi Stein?
When the bar for the tag team division is RWB and whatever other easy pickings technically exist on the roster, who is available to make the division something worth actually pursuing success in? Is there somebody that can step in and create so much interest in it that anyone who is anyone decides THEY should also try their hand? Again, the answer remains the same. There’s only one undisputed GOAT in the world of tag team wrestling and that is, as you said yourself..
With you though, Ms. Hawkins, we already know the answers to the questions. If you need someone to fill in as the stable equivalent of a triangle player for two months, just look to Claire Hawkins. If you want to listen to someone spouting off a bunch of bullshit about how their freedoms have been stripped away for two years, because losing five million TV title matches is equivalent to slavery, just tune into Claire Hawkins saying words. If you want to hear someone so out of touch with the business that they don’t realize I either buried the bodies or spread the ashes of my entire fucking family and still came back to wrestle in an AW ring, look no further than Claire Hawkins.
There is no slavery involved with your booking, Claire. Aside from the obvious that you can’t handle shots like these, the reason you don’t get them is that you are not half the worker you think you are. Spencer Adams works three years straight and re-ups while Claire Hawkins works three months at best and goes on a golfing trip as soon as she remembers where her limits lie. This is not career reinvention just like costume jewelry in the middle of your forehead like a DIY Lil Uzi Vert pink diamond doesn’t give you character.
Bending the Knee: A Claire Hawkins Production
You bring up the narratives about you, but what I’m really interested in right now are the ones you put out into the world about Spencer Adams. The ones where you attempt to undersell the impact of the most accomplished man in this company while also saying they’re earned and merit a hall of fame ring, but that they...don’t mean anything? Is getting you motherfuckers in an unbreakable loop of self contradictions just a thing I do now? Out of all the ways you could’ve gone with this, you choose the Matty Mintz method of making no fucking sense.
I’m not untouchable, you’re right. I know I’ve tasted defeat as much as the next guy. I am, however, always and forever totally fucking unshaken by your existence. You say you gave me more than I could handle in a ladder match you gained no traction from and in an inaugural Battlebowl that...I won. I handled these things and either rose from them or outright won in the case of Battlebowl. I’ve continued building my brand and you’ve spent all your time holding onto the same lack of status you’ve always had here, a form of self hype I’m sure you learned from your time mucking it up with perpetual meme Jaice Wilds.
I’m just Spencer Adams, huh? That’s the pitch now, is it? Well, since you don’t seem to know what that means, allow me to clarify. Spencer Adams is JUST everything that has made this company into what it is today. It’s through my ability to adapt and make everything that I touch grow into something more than it would’ve been otherwise. When the question came up of who should face Donald Deruty back in 2018, the fans themselves turned and said Spencer Adams. People everywhere rushed to the polling link and when the question came up of who on the roster had the talent to save Action Wrestling from a drywall champion came up, there was one clear answer.
JUST Spencer Adams.
Walter takes the US title off Kyle Kemp and convinces himself that getting #MeToo’d would qualify him as a double champion and forces the hands of management who then have to strip the mongrel of that crown. The people over at ADub Towers sprinted from cubicle to cubicle and left a cartoonish storm of office supplies filling the air while the phones blew the fuck up, because their second hottest prize at the time was surrounded by question marks. Who was there to actually pick up the pieces? Was it Jacqui Monroe? Was it Shadowlove? Was it Abbi Stein?
Nope.
JUST Spencer Adams.
When the bar for the tag team division is RWB and whatever other easy pickings technically exist on the roster, who is available to make the division something worth actually pursuing success in? Is there somebody that can step in and create so much interest in it that anyone who is anyone decides THEY should also try their hand? Again, the answer remains the same. There’s only one undisputed GOAT in the world of tag team wrestling and that is, as you said yourself..
JUST Spencer Adams.
With you though, Ms. Hawkins, we already know the answers to the questions. If you need someone to fill in as the stable equivalent of a triangle player for two months, just look to Claire Hawkins. If you want to listen to someone spouting off a bunch of bullshit about how their freedoms have been stripped away for two years, because losing five million TV title matches is equivalent to slavery, just tune into Claire Hawkins saying words. If you want to hear someone so out of touch with the business that they don’t realize I either buried the bodies or spread the ashes of my entire fucking family and still came back to wrestle in an AW ring, look no further than Claire Hawkins.
There is no slavery involved with your booking, Claire. Aside from the obvious that you can’t handle shots like these, the reason you don’t get them is that you are not half the worker you think you are. Spencer Adams works three years straight and re-ups while Claire Hawkins works three months at best and goes on a golfing trip as soon as she remembers where her limits lie. This is not career reinvention just like costume jewelry in the middle of your forehead like a DIY Lil Uzi Vert pink diamond doesn’t give you character.
This is just Claire Hawkins.
This is JUST Spencer Adams, the fucking GOAT.
THIS..is just a Monday.