Post by Andre Jenson on Feb 28, 2021 9:13:24 GMT -5
Good Evening folks! Narrator here, I’m taking the time out of my busy day watching marathon reruns of 24 and scrubs from the Disney Star channel because Andre Jenson and Teo are yet again doing some mad caper. This time, well, Andre has taken delivery of a huge package, which is sitting in his Kem arcade right now. He has a gleeful happiness about him as Teo arrives. Like a puppy dog seeing a new butt he can smell.
“Teo, my friend!” He shouts, “come look at this!”
Teo inspects the package, it’s covered in cardboard protection, but it’s pinball machine sized, pinball machine shaped and the courier has written PINBALL MACHINE, HANDLE WITH CARE in black sharpie on the protective covering. It’s also sitting in the pinball section of the arcade.
“You’ll never guess what it is!” Declares Andre.
“No, I don’t think I will.” Agrees Teo.
“Take a guess though.” Suggests Andre.
“Ummmm, an arcade cabinet?”
Jenson laughs, heartily.
“Close my friend, but no. It’s a pinball machine!”
“OH! Well I couldn’t have guessed that in a million years!”
“I know, right! Let’s get it open, it’s a custom build. Spared no expense.”
They spend the next few minutes opening the package, I would explain everything they do in excruciating detail, but y’know, I don’t wanna. You know what opening a package looks like.
Once the package is open, however, and the pinball machine is exposed to the real world it’s a thing of beauty!
“Behold, an officially licenced two gents pinball machine!” Andre says, proudly. “The balls are our heads, the paddles are our tag titles, and the board depicts all of our history together as the Two gents! We have a build a bear workshop zone, Red White and Bruised and Pineapple Promenade bumpers in the AW zone and a Gobble Hole that puts your mask back on and completely changes the board layout by flipping it, cool eh?”
“I, well, OK, yeah I’m impressed. That’s pretty cool. Let’s have a game!”
“OK, you know the rules, 3 ball swap. Let’s go!”
Teo presses the button to release a ball into the launcher, sends the launcher expertly around and when it hits the paddle, expertly flips it to the AW zone. The ball hits the Red White and Bruised buffer, making a ping that sounds a little like Karlie Nash grunting. Then flings over to the Pineapple Promenade buffer, pings again with the sound of Azurine Vebbins grunting. It flings back to Red White and Bruised, then back to Pineapple Promenade and so on and so on.
“Huh” Jenson says. “Imagine that, this is almost like a metaphor to what our current situation is”
Teo eyes the ball constantly pinging between the two buffers and ruefully nods his head.
“Yeah, I know what you mean, it does seem like we’re being bounced between two opponents like a pinball that has no real destiny, rhyme or reason, just going wherever the buffer sends us, yeah.”
“What? No. Well, OK, I think you can see it that way, but I was thinking more that Red White and Bruised are taking it in turns to receive a two gents bro fist, but they won’t move out of the way of themselves or each other to allow them to move on. That’s what they need, they need to move on, it’s not healthy they keep coming at us like lunatics, getting beat every single time. I guess their persistence is admirable though, but you know, joining forces to beat us is a little unfair. We’ll manage though, we always do! But I like yours better, so dark man, you've been watching Batman again?”
They are distracted by the high score meter blaring off on the pinball machine, the sound of Earth Wind and Fire blasts through the bose surround sound setup that’s inexplicably set into the machine.
“Did I tell you this has bluetooth and wifi capability? I don’t know why, but it does.”
“Just like that toothbrush you bought me for my birthday.”
“Amazing.”
Quite why a bluetooth and wifi setup is needed on a toothbrush and/or pinball machine no one knows, but we’ll try to find out later!