Post by NATE on Jan 24, 2021 18:17:33 GMT -5
To the tune of “No Limit” by 2 Unlimited.
Bamm Bamm
Bamm Bamm Bamm Bamm
Bamm Bamm Bamm Bamm
Bamm Bamm
Bamm Bamm Biefa
NATE stops himself.
He realises he’s started singing again, he couldn’t remember all the homework Matthias had given him for researching his opponent this week, but he was pretty sure that singing a song about him wasn’t on the list. Which was a real shame, because it was very catchy.
He gets out his voice recorder. They’d given up on writing because NATE’s handwriting was indecipherable, which wasn’t much different to trying to listen to him speak, some might point out…
NATE presses play on the video of Bam Beefer clips from his short time in Action Wrestling so far which has been put together from him to do his research, it starts with with a profile picture of Bam- NATE pauses the video and presses “record” on his recorder.
Bamm Biefa Iz A Fat E
Hi Iz Nott Fitt Enuf 2 B A Ressler Hi Needz 2 Gow 2 Da Jim
NATE feels sad and stops himself. Should he really be saying mean things about someone’s weight? Matthias probably would encourage it, but it didn’t feel right. And besides, as he podges his own belly he has to admit he’s carrying a bit of timber himself.
Noe Sori Pleez Poot On Da Rekord Dat Eye Amm Wivdrowin Dat Staytmunt Bamm Biefa Kan B N E Wate An Itz Fyn Iff Itt Mayks Hym Hap E
He then watches the clip of Beefer insulting Andrew Stone before their match 2 weeks prior. Most of it is about not caring that women suck Stone’s penis, NATE cannot relate to this reference at all, he literally doesn’t understand what it means to “get hickeys and finger” women at all but Bam makes it sound horrible so he tells himself he’ll never do it even if he gets the chance, but he’ll check with his Mom whether that’s a good idea.
Why is he talking about penises anyway?
Bamm Biefa Iz A Bad E
Hi Iz Nott Cleva Enuff 2 B A Ressler Hi Jus Tolks Abawt Will Eez
NATE feels a bit unsure and stops himself. He’s never heard of Andrew Stone, maybe his penis is a big weakness and should be criticised? Could he really blame Bam for bringing that up? NATE hadn’t seen either of Beefer’s matches, maybe he beat Andrew Stone because Stone’s nob got in the way somehow? He’d have to wait and see.
And you can definitely still make it as a wrestler if you’re not that smart. NATE even had a sneaky feeling he wasn’t very clever himself, but he was probably just being modest.
Noe Sori Eye Downt Meen Dat Hi Kan B Obsesd Wiv Will Eez Iff Hi Wonts 2 Itz O Kay
He continues watching, Bam Beefer compares himself to a steak. This piques NATE’s interest!
May B Mi An Bam Biefa Cud B Frendz Eye Luv Stake Wi Hav Sow Mutch In Komon
Argh, no! NATE doesn’t remember much he’s been told but he definitely remembers that he shouldn’t try to make friends with his opponents, even though Beefer is basically pretty much a literal steak of legs he shouldn’t let up, he knows if he’s going to achieve his 2021 aim of becoming the best World Champion Action Wrestling has ever seen he’s going to need to beat his opponents sometimes this year, even if they are tasty.
Noe Sori Akchully Bam Biefa Meets Shudnt B Ressler Dey R Jus Fud O Kay
He moves onto the bit he’s a bit worried about, Beefer’s matches. First, the match with Andrew Stone, after a short promo where Beefer talks about his favourite subject (Stone’s penis) again, the match starts… and Andrew Stone just wins quite easily…
Never mind, there’s always he’s second match! The clip moves onto Beefer’s match with Claire Hawkins just a week ago, a chance at redemption for Bam… and he loses quickly again…
Bam Biefa Iz Reel E Badd Att Resslin Hi Jus Olwaze Looziz Reeli Fassd
NATE stops, is he being unfair again? He thinks about it, as deeply as he can think about things, and replays Beefers two matches in Action Wrestling. He wonders some more, but no matter how hard he thinks, he’s pretty sure he’s right.
Eye Wun A Mach Wunce Agenst Ostraylier Loweez An Yoo Havnt Beet N E 1 Eva Sow U Shud Kwit Ressling B Koz Yoo Olwaze Looz
This felt right, this must be what everyone called “shooting”, he really felt that these insults would be hurting Bam Beefer when he watched it.
Eye Wil Wyn Owr Mach An Den Yoo Wil B Da Loozer Agen
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Later on that day, Matthias Mintzel has been collared by NATE who he’d been trying to avoid, NATE had actually done the shitty voice recording ‘homework’ he’d set him. NATE plays him back the thoughts he’d recorded about Bam Beefer all the way through.
Wot Du U Fink
I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but I actually think Action Wrestling might have hired the one person who’s a bigger loser than you in this Bam Beefer guy. Apart from wanting to eat him, even an idiot like you seems to have worked out what he’s all about.
O Wow Dat Meenz Sow Mutch Fank Yoo Eye Wil Nott Lett U Dawn Eye Wil Wyn Eeven Iff Eye Neerli Dye B Coz It Iz Sow Impawtent 2 U
I literally don’t care whether you win or not.
NATE doesn’t hear this comment, he goes to his room and sits with his eyes closed, imagining the feeling of pinning a steak 1, 2, 3. It felt right, 2021 was going to be his year, he could feel it, and what better way to start a winning streak than by beating one of his absolute favourite things? A big fat slab of meat.
Yumi
NATE dribbles.