Post by Ned the Intern on Jan 12, 2021 12:32:56 GMT -5
I would like to start out by taking a moment of silence for our dear friend Soldado Fortuna. He took a brick to the head that allowed the Cruiser-Greats to be victorious over the Four Chodesmen. Ope sorry. I nodded off. It was an exhausting journey to CruiserClash. Then the Winnebago RV completely fell apart. The team guilted me into flying them all home afterwards. I'm not sure if there is a future for the Cruiser-Greats… but one thing is clear. I am undefeated in 2021! HOORAY! Sure… it's only two wins… and both matches included Alex Scott. I'm looking to the future. To continued success. To new opportunities. To fresh matchups with the incredible talent on CruiserClash. Just… not… yet. For the thirty-seventh time in the last year, I have the… pleasure… of making wrestle with Alex Scott. Somewhere in between we might have been a tag team. It all kind of blends together. It's like beating a dead horse at this point. Sure, it's fun. But I gain nothing from it. To call this man a stepping stone would be to dishonor actual stones to be stepped on. Besting him again will only leave me standing in place, rather than climbing the ladder. I've already bested him countless times and where did it get me? Oh, I had a few title shots here and there. I was in the right place at the wrong time. I wasn't in the right headspace to lead this brand to a new plateau. But I am now. My steady stream of heartache hardened me. My battle with Spayde Martinez hardened me. My private conversations with Alice hardened me. My worry for my friend Lissie Hope hardened me. All in an effort to prepare me to fight Soft As Fuck Alex Scott every single week of 2021. I could look at it as a guaranteed winning streak and be grateful for the opportunity to showcase my talents to a worldwide audience. But I want more. I want J.C. Keeton. I want Trey Bouchet. I want Soldado Fortuna. I want Reo Raijin. I want Miss Mae. I want Alice. Instead I get… Alex Scott… again. Is this what purgatory feels like? Are we experiencing Groundhog Day 2? I don't think I'm ready to replace Bill Murray just yet. Sure, we're both living legends in our respective lanes on the entertainment highway. Fun fact. I auditioned for the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters for the role that went to Kate McKinnon. She was brilliant in the role and I had a great time getting to know her during the auditions. She helped me land a writing gig for Saturday Night Live and I worked there for two seasons. It was an incredible opportunity that I am eternally grateful for. I digress. Alex Scott is like the fly who landed on Mike Pence's head. He sticks around and everyone has a good laugh. Nobody is willing to swat him into a sticky goo. Good thing I'm not nobody. If all goes well, this will be the last time you see "Sara Pettis" and "Alex Scott" on the same line. But if any of my bad luck from 2020 is still lingering, you'll be seeing me beat up Alex Scott at Revolution… and KarlieClash… and BizarroClash 2: Eclectic Boogaloo… and Clash to the Future… and the upcoming Max Daemon memorial show called 4 The Max. The result will be the same. Every. Single. Time. Adilene Floyd will stand up and declare that the winner of the match is the Child of Fate... SARA PETTIS! Yes, I am still the Child of Fate. Letting loose and freeing my inhibitions has not changed my belief that it is my fate to compete against the best of the best here in Action Wrestling. Alex Scott is far from the best of the best. He's as far, far away as that bitch Taylor Swift is to having a lasting, meaningful relationship. Yeah. I went there. I would like to end this with a moment of silence for the career of Alex Scott. Though it passed away months ago, it continues on as a ghoulish shadow of the potential he once possessed. Ugh. |