the friends we made along the way
Jan 10, 2021 10:56:16 GMT -5
Ned the Intern, J.C. Keeton, and 6 more like this
Post by Ned the Intern on Jan 10, 2021 10:56:16 GMT -5
Our adventure begins outside of a Kwik Trip in Middle of Nowhere, Midwest USA. The recreational vehicle belonging to CruiserClash never-wases The Schorg Bros is being filled up by the unfortunate recipient of the AW Superstar With the Worst 2020 Award… Sara Pettis. A commercial appears on the screen…
"THIS JUST IN! ACTION WRESTLING PRESENTS ANOTHER HUGE NIGHT OF ACTION PACKED ACTION THIS COMING MONDAY IN PORTLAND, OREGON! TICKETS ARE ON SALE --- OPE SORRY! THEY'RE SOLD OUT!"
Pettis: Damn right they're sold out. Take a look at how packed CruiserClash is. Then look what happens to the crowd once it switches to "the main roster." Night and day difference in terms of match quality… reactions from the fans… hell, you can look at the ratings for proof! CruiserClash crushes Clash in the eighteen to forty-nine demographic! That's all thanks to the demogods and demogoddesses who work tirelessly to put on pay-per-view quality matches on a weekly basis! Sure, pay-per-views don't mean as much when the AW Network has half a dozen "special events" every month… but back in my day… when I was the youngest and most popular wrestler on this or any other planet…
She keeps rambling on to a complete stranger who is emptying garbage bins. The man - an employee of Kwik Trip we'll call by his employee number - finishes tying a bag and lifts it into the black cart. He then turns to Sara as she tops off the RV.
34867: Ms. Pettis, that's all… a lot to take in…
Pettis: That's what he said.
34867: Sure. I know you had a rough 2020 and all… but you've… changed.
Pettis: Changed?! I'm the same honorable fighter I always was!
34867: That attack on Taylor Swift was uncalled for.
Pettis: That bitch had what was coming to her!
She hangs up the handle on the pump.
Pettis: Going to jail was worth it. Look at all the new followers I got on Twitter because of it!
34867: I don't keep up with Twitter much these days. Too much toxicity. Why can't people just get along?
Pettis: I have the ultimate test of getting along with people on Monday actually… that I'll pass with flying colors. I have appointed myself team leader in a Misfit Toys tag team match. Being the token woman in this match, I'm the best and brightest choice to lead this team. We've got three weak links though… because I wasn't allowed to pick my own team. They say a team is only as strong as its weakest link, and that honor goes to J.C. Keeton.
34867: Probably not the best strategy to tear apart your own team though. Right?
Pettis: Oh lookie here! We've got ourselves a grizzled young vet!
Sara looks around, then shrugs when she realizes there's no audience.
Pettis: Whatever. I'll handle my team how I need to. As harsh as I can be on them when needed, just wait until you see what I do to our opponents. Three of them I'm familiar with… and one I've never even heard of. Reo Raijin is good but overzealous. Jim Mud is good but as obedient as a sheep. Reckless Ralph is… I have no idea what he is. Their weakest link is obviously Alex Scott.
34867: What's wrong with Alex Scott?
Pettis: What's RIGHT with Alex Scott?! The kid is softer than a hug from Casper! He is the Make-A-Wish recipient of too many title shots, both in Action Wrestling and abroad! He couldn't win "the big one" if he was the last man on Earth! Even if he WAS the last man on Earth… I STILL wouldn't be interested in him! I can't even call the guy a joke because jokes are funny… and he's just sad! He is constantly running in place and going nowhere! I dread every time I see my name on the same line as his! He couldn't be on my level if he were on stilts! I've had enough of him!
34867: Why are you shouting?
Pettis: My passion comes off as anger sometimes… and I'm working on that. I'm working on… me...
Three people meet up with Sara with bags full of snacks and whatnot. They are Soldado Fortuna, Victoria Richardson and Trey Bouchet.
Bouchet: We're all ready, Sara. Where to next?
Pettis: We've got to pick up that nogoodnik Keeton. Then we're on the long road to Portland.
The foursome heads out toward the RV. Pettis looks over at Soldado and Victoria, who, Victoria in particular, are noticeably unhappy.
Pettis: I take it the two of you aren’t best pleased with this situation.
Victoria looks up and meets Pettis’ gaze.
Richardson: No, Sara, truth be told, we’d rather be just about anywhere else on Earth than crammed into this shitty RV with three people with whom we have absolutely zero trust.
Bouchet: C’mon Victoria, you can trust us. We are going to have yours and Soldado’s back!
Victoria now turns to Trey.
Richardson: Let's look at the facts shall we – Soldado Fortuna is 4-1 in matches where he has fought alone and even that lone loss came with a heavy, poison mist induced asterix. In arguably Soldado’s best performance thus far in Action Wrestling at the CruiserHavoc rumble, there was no sign of any partners to assist him in lasting as long as he did. He was a lone wolf in that contest and low and behold he was one of the last four standing.
And yet suddenly, he gets paired up with someone he doesn’t know and he loses. Coincidence? I think fucking not.
See, most people would view having a tag partner as beneficial. It takes the pressure off somewhat and there’s someone there to help you out. We, however, view it differently. We see you partners as nothing more than opportunities for someone else to cost us the match without us being able to do a damn thing about it.
We are being shackled to you people... and frankly we thought the days of us being shackled were long gone.
Victoria takes a deep breath.
Richardson: The only positive about being in this match for us is that we have the chance to exact a little revenge. Alex Scott and Reckless Jack have done nothing to slight us as of yet so we have no reason to target them. Soldado proved on two separate occasions that he is a superior wrestler than Reo Raijin and has already beaten him. Don’t get me wrong, any chance Soldado gets to beat down that disgrace to true luchadors is always a positive… but we’ve got something else on our mind
Jim Mud was a part of that tag team that beat Soldado last week and in the process earned himself a nice little reward. Yet, from my vantage point, I saw nothing to change my opinion of him. He is still just another unsophisticated, backcountry brawler who really has no business sharing a ring with someone as gifted as Soldado
Yet somehow this guy’s got a victory over Soldado, albeit a tag team victory, and that really doesn’t sit too right with us. Much like a Lannister always pays his debts, Soldado always gets his revenge, one way or the other. He did it with Reo and he’s going to do it again with Mud.
If you all are good for nothing else, give Soldado some time with Mud to right the wrongs of last week and make him wish he’d stuck to barfights.
I just hope that the three of you recognise the gift from the gods that you have been given by having us as your teammates. Not only do you get one of the finest wrestlers in the world in Soldado Fortuna lining up alongside you, there on that apron as a security blanket for when things inevitably get too hot for you to handle and you need somebody to take control of this match for you, but you also myself on your side for this match. I’ve proven that I will do whatever is necessary to get my client’s hand raised as the victor. Luckily for the three of you, that willingness extends to all of you in this match as well
Pettis, you can appoint yourself team leader all you want, but consider me this team’s overseer. I’m the one who controls our gameplan going in and how we execute that game plan. I’m not just a pretty face and a great body – I’ve got the tactical mind to match. So long as you listen to what I have to say, we will not fail.
The opportunity to have us fighting with you won’t come along very often. Don’t fuck it up.
By now, some time has passed and they're well on their way to pick up Keeton. Trey Bouchet is sprawled out on the sofa in the back of the camper, absently throwing and catching a pencil in one hand while breathlessly engaging his fellow travelers in conversation.
Bouchet: So, yeah, Sara, I got no problem with you being unofficial team leader of this unofficial team that I am unofficially calling The Cruiser-Greats because that’s what we are. You’ve got the plexperience. Keeton’s got the power. Soldado’s the high flyer. And I’m the master of the greatest offensive move in the sport. Really, if we were willing to set aside our differences and become an official faction we’d be a real force on CruiserClash. Not that I’m advocating it, mind you, since Vickie doesn’t seem too keen on the idea of her guy working with others, and, uh, sorry, Sara, I’m a bit leery about this new attitude of yours. I’m no Swiftie but beating up Corey Black’s girlfriend really was unprofessional. I plexpect a surprise Burning Hammer in your future so you best watch your back. Speaking of which, why do you guys think Reckless Jack jumped me? I haven’t said two words to the dude! Nothing happened between us at CruiserHavoc. Kaz and ZMac eliminated him, not me. I know he’s bitter, but why single me out? I’m a pretty easy going guy. Yeah, me and Jimmy James have beef, but I tried to settle that. And I’m over Teo Blaze whipping my ass three straight. Really. Scout’s Honor! I even bought his new shirt! Ok, and I did joke about shitting in JC Keeton’s bag after he pinned me in that four man, er- person Number One Contender’s Match before Turmoil, but I doubt he even remembers, not with all the crap Reo Raijin’s pulled. So, three people, but they’re the plexceptions! What’s Reckless Jerk’s damage? You think he’s jealous? He does have a lot of suplexes in his moveset. Maybe he’s threatened by my suplexpertise. He shouldn’t be. I’ve scouted him; he’s got nothing to be ashamed of. He’s not quite at my level, but who is? Besides Teo, I guess. But I’m totally over that. I suppose I could ask Reckless Jack what’s got him so salty. Be cool if we could quash things between now and Revolution. After this match obviously. We can commiserate after I dole out my receipt. That brings me back around to what I wanted to say before engaging in this meandering plexposition. We’re a team. Reluctantly, yeah, but we are one. And I’m cool with Sara being in charge and Vickie overseeing us. But as the Cruiser-Greats’ ‘morale officer’ I want to point out the best way to keep up our spirits is to pay back those on the other team who’ve given us grief. Soldado wants to avenge his loss to Jim Mud. Sara wants to keep humiliating Alex Scott. JC probably plans on killing Reo. And me and Reckless Jack need to settle up. What I’m saying is, we need to make sure we get our shots at those who did us dirty while also winning. I got an engagement ring to suplay for after all!”
As Sara swerves sharply almost tipping over the RV to take an exit off the interstate it causes Trey to fall off the couch. The unofficial leader of the Cruiser-Greats giggles as she looks up in the rear view mirror to see Bouchet now laying on the floor. He frowns and she just shrugs it off before taking out a row of shrubs as she pulls into the driveway of JC Keeton's winter home near Boulder City, NV. The former Cruiserweight champion stands on the front porch looking annoyed as Pettis rolls down the window.
Pettis: Sorry about the bush. Get in, loser.
Keeton picks up his bags and throws them in the luggage compartment of motorhome before getting in the front seat. He turns back to see Trey now sitting up after his tumble while Victoria taps away at her phone with a bad case of RBF and Soldado stares out the window all enigmatically. Sara backs out of the driveway running over JC's mailbox very much on purpose.
Keeton: I deserve that I guess. I've said and done some horrible shit to at least half the people in this rolling rust bucket, you most of all Sara. I would say I'm sorry but that'd be a lie. Just cause the fans have decided to start cheering me again doesn't mean I'm gonna suddenly start kissing the asses of everyone I've wronged these last few months. I think you got your payback by eliminating me from CruiserHavoc so we're even. Then there's Phantom Shitter back there, Sanchez told me that it was you that shit in my bag after you got his number out of my phone Trey, that wasn't funny. I thought someone left an unwrapped Almond Joy in there. If I'd took a bite of that I would have had to kill you. Let's put our pasts with each other aside at least for one week though. We gotta work together and coexist but we ain't gotta be BFFs or even like each other to get the job done at CruiserClash. If I'm being honest winning this match is not my focus, I want to win for sure but that ain't my priority. Just know that Raijin is mine. The rest of you have issues with others in the match…
The RV rumbles it's way back onto the interstate as JC glances back at Bouchet.
Keeton: Looks like you've got the attention of an old rival of my Dad in Reckless Jack. I know his son too, he's a pretty big name in the business in his own right. Jack has nothing for you to be concerned about. My Dad was beating him like he owed him money when he was in his prime and he's well past it now. He'll be a non factor in this big clusterfuck and in any future encounters you have with him.
He continues as they get closer to their destination.
Keeton: Alex Scott has a million dollar look, ten cent talent, and subzero ring smarts. You should have no problem with him Sara. What's his claim to fame in AW? An underwhelming CW Tag Title reign, upsetting an overrated Karlie Nash, and getting paired with Graham Baker who had a rocket strapped to his ass at the time for Battle Bowl and still losing. As forgettable as he is he's always here and always shows up but he's easy to overlook which we can't let cost us.
JC shakes his head in disbelief at what he's about to say.
Keeton: Jim Mud, for as unrefined and untalented as he is he's our biggest threat. What he lacks in skill and polish he makes up for in cunningness and toughness. I think Soldado is better than him in every single way but he's found a way to win matches he shouldn't have even been competitive in. He's dangerous but when a team of four can say Jim Mud is their best hope for an upset of a far superior squad you can't help but be confident.
He inhales and cracks his knuckles.
Keeton: That just leaves Raijin and the biggest challenge we're going to face. I don't even mean that he can beat us cause Soldada has already proven to have his number. The challenge we face is to keep me from getting us disqualified because I can't promise there's a referee employed by Action Wrestling that can get me off him once I get started. I'll try my best to think about the team but I make no promises. Every time I've been in the same building much less the same match as him since he destroyed my Dad's already surgically repaired knee I just go into a blind rage. I just want to hurt him and never stop hurting him.
Fade... to...