Post by Der Metzger on Jan 9, 2021 16:54:43 GMT -5
Hello, Action Wrestling. My name is Pete Harper. I am the assistant to the lead physician Dr. Royce at Devil's Gate Correctional Facility in Castle Rock, Maine. Prior to agreeing to this position, I was rehabilitated by Dr. Royce following my medical discharge from the United States Army. Dr. Royce has requested that I gather information to best serve our patient Der Metzger to prepare him for his upcoming match. Week after week since signing with Action Wrestling, the man called Der Metzger has been an unstoppable force. Each of his victims has been left incapacitated and unable to return to life as it was before. All the while, executives of Action Wrestling continue to profit off of the misery of Der Metzger's victims. One has to wonder if they are using him as an early Spring Cleaner tool. Rest assured that Der Metzger is no tool. He is a conqueror. He is a destroyer. There is only one person who can stop Der Metzger and that is Der Metzger. Soon, he will be crowned your Action Wrestling United States Champion. His reign will be an insurrection to the very foundation of this organization. The mayhem he leaves behind will be silently praised by the powers that be. They brought him here and placed him in a line of succession toward whomever the United States Champion will be following the upcoming episode of Monday Night Clash. They lined up every opportunity for him to be in this position and you all watched it happen live. Der Metzger's next victim is a man by the name of Stuart Slane. He believes himself to be the last honest man in professional wrestling. If that is true, then he must be honest about his fears about this match against Der Metzger. Slane will soon stand before a mörder who fears no man. Slane will soon take on a maschine who has no weakness. Slane will soon meet the end to his schwach attempt at reclaiming glory. Every beginning has an end and this will be it for Slane. The sooner he accepts defeat, the sooner he will be able to heal. Stuart Slane is a man often found chasing glory but rarely does he achieve it. He failed as a representative of the Boy Scouts of America. He failed as WCF United States Champion. He failed to win the Havoc Rumble. He failed to secure a reliable tag team partner. He failed to win the Glory Tournament for the United States Champion. He failed to make Amelia Abernathy a household name. He failed to become Tag Team Champions with Jason O'Neal. He failed as a father when he lost his son to a cult. He failed to become Tag Team Champions with the aforementioned Abernathy. He failed to truly and strongly send Cormack MacNeill into retirement. He failed two matches in a row to become United States Champion. He failed in the Wrestler of the Year Tournament. He failed to become the final WCF Television Champion. Are you seeing the continuous trend in the career of Stuart Slane? Stuart Slane has competed against and lost to some of the most prosperous superstars in the history of Action Wrestling. He has a notorious habit of getting up and dusting himself off. Der Metzger has faced much less formidable opponents [with the exception of Claire Hawkins] in his time here and has come out with a spotless record. It is likely the hope of Stuart Slane that he will be able to use this match with Der Metzger as a stepping stone to rehabilitating his image in the spectrum of this industry. Perhaps he is in need of a vacation. He has worked tirelessly since signing with Action Wrestling to make something special happen and he continuously comes up short. Run away, Slane. Go off to some tropical island. Refresh your body, your body, your soul. Then come back and try your luck against Der Metzger when he is atop of the mountain as United States Champion. You have been knotted up in your past failures for so long. Let it all go and reboot. Slane, slam those loses from your psyche and come back stronger than ever. To you, Circe Cicero, I cautiously request that you temper your client's expectations for this match. He has put a crate of eggs into one basket, with hopes of an omelet bar as a result. Going up against a human wrecking ball like Der Metzger significantly lowers his chances of having a lengthy and prosperous career. Unlike Slane, Der Metzger had no regrets or fears or remorse or conscience. He will not stop until Slane is unable to walk. That is how heavy the atmosphere of this match is to Der Metzger. Der Metzger is undefeated in the United States and that streak will continue on without pause. Six stars have already been put down by the soon-to-be United States Champion. Stuart Slane will try to tell you he's on a path of redemption and this year will right the wrongs of the last. His accomplice Circe Cicero will try to paint this situation as an easy win for Slabe. Together, they will perform their theatre of lies for the fans of Action Wrestling. That is not the proper represenation this country deserves. Only Der Metzger is strong enough to be the Champion of the United States during these uneasy and unpredictable times. Der Metzger will never give you up. He will never let you down. He will never run around and desert you. He will never make you cry. He will never say goodbye. He will never tell a lie and hurt you. Oh, make no mistake about that last sentiment. He will most certainly hurt Slane and anyone else who stands in his way. But you, the viewer, he will never hurt. You are precious to him, though he has a unique way of expressing it. His soul cries out to you and wants to hold you close. You are precious to him and he loves you. A press conference has been set up inside of the arena in Portland. A few dozen journalists and a few dozen more spectators have gathered for this monumental occasion. The lead physician from Devil’s Gate Correctional Facility in Castle Rock, Maine proudly walks up onto the stage and to the podium. His name is Doctor Reginald Royce, but you can call him Dr. Royce. [DR. ROYCE] ”Thank you, Portland. Thank you all for joining me here today to discuss my patient, Action Wrestling Superstar and inevitable United States Champion… Der Metzger. Before I take any questions, I would like to recap his destructively triumphant run thus far with the greatest wrestling promotion in the world… Action Wrestling. I penned his contract with Action Wrestling on November 10, and then sent a pre-recorded video to be aired on November 13 at XIII to foreshadow the devastation that was to come. On November 16 at Clash, Der Metzger made his in-ring debut by destroying a man named Eli Lobo. Since then, nobody has seen or heard from Lobo. On November 26 at Turmoil, Der Metzger and Twiztid Insane proved to be a cohesive unit when they defeated the Batesville Boyz. Since then, nobody has seen or heard from the brother cousins. On December 14 at Super Clash, Der Metzger defeated one of the longest tenured Action Wrestling Superstars by the name of Claire Hawkins. Since then, nobody has seen or heard from her. On December 24 at Christmas Chaos in Kentucky, Der Metzger dominated and dismantled Magic Maddox. Since then, nobody has seen or heard from the magician. On January 4 at Clash, Der Metzger proved to be the true winner of the World Cup Tournament by making quick work of the fake winner Fortune. Since then, nobody has seen or heard from Fortune. The trend that I am trying to lay out to you is that people tend to disappear from the public arena once they are defeated by Der Metzger. At the upcoming episode of Monday Night Clash on January 11, Der Metzger will euthanize a man named Stuart Slane and will officially be titled the number one contender for the Action Wrestling United States Championship. That is the undisputed truth that is nonsensical to debate with even the finest of coaches from Millard North High School in Omaha, Nebraska.” He winks at the journalists. [DR. ROYCE] “Now, it would be my pleasure to answer as many questions as you have for me regarding my patient, future Action Wrestling United States Champion… Der Metzger.” The journalists scurry to raise their hands. The first one Dr. Royce points to is... [PRO WRESTLING ILLUSTRATED] “Is there any concern that Stuart Slane will be too focused on his past failures to recognize the present danger of Der Metzger?” [DR. ROYCE] “Excellent question. Stuart Slane is a man who knows defeat as closely as Der Metzger knows victory. Time and time again, he has failed to call himself United States Champion. How many times must this man fall down before he stops getting back up? The answer is simple: one more time. One more loss - especially to a universally dangerous force as Der Metzger - will be the final nail in the coffin that is his downfall of a career. Well, to call it a downfall would be to insinuate that there was a high point. From my vantage point, his biggest accomplishment was signing with Action Wrestling last year. From there, he has only experienced heartache and failure. He has amassed a lengthy list of enemies while failing to secure any allies. The opposite has been Der Metzger’s experience in Action Wrestling. He has put down six superstars consecutively while also forming a short-lived bond with another newcomer by the name of Twiztid Insane. If circumstances are favorable, Der Metzger is willing to stand with Twiztid Insane again. On behalf of Der Metzger, I would like to wish Twiztid Insane the best of luck in his Action Wrestling Television Championship match against Downfall. I would regret reminding you all that Stuart Slane also failed to win the WCF Television Championship only a few weeks ago.” [KAYFABE NEWS] “When will Der Metzger remove his mask to reveal that he was Gravedigger all along?” [DR. ROYCE] “Are you referring to the Co-President of Action Wrestling or the infamous monster truck.” [KAYFABE NEWS] “Yes.” [DR. ROYCE] “Okay, well, Der Metzger is definitely not either of those Gravediggers, nor does he have any known association with them. In regards to the mask worn by Der Metzger at all times, that will not be coming off for the foreseeable future. It is as much a part of him as the skin on your face. To remove his mask would be as detrimental to him as removing your own face.” [WCSH6] “Is there any concern that he is not connecting with the audience because of he is not a fluent speaker of the English language?” [DR. ROYCE] “Not at all. I have never heard Der Metzger utter a word of English. Not even in private. To the audience of Action Wrestling, I have become a spokesman for Der Metzger. I make all public appearances for him. I handle all promotion of his upcoming matches. All he is required to do is to go to the ring, win matches and return to his restraints. It is all part of the process I developed decades ago with a past patient of mine who went on to be one of the top superstars of all time.” [DAILY MAIL] “Will that former patient of yours be making an appearance in Action Wrestling?” [DR. ROYCE] “That is unlikely. Though I found out recently that he has made a handful of cameos on Action Wrestling broadcasts. I recently reconnected with him when I helped his family out of a tough situation. That’s all I will say about the matter at this time, out of respect for their privacy.” [BANGOR DAILY NEWS] “Speaking of family situations, do you have any insight on the whereabouts of Stuart Slane’s estranged son? Is he still a servant of the Cult of Carnivore?” [DR. ROYCE] “I don’t have any knowledge of him or this Carnivore character. The only tip I have is that there were whispers of them being in the foothills of Kentucky. All I can say about Slane’s son is that he had a miserable excuse for a role model. If he requires any mental rehabilitation, I would be happy to meat with the young man. While Der Metzger is my primary patient, my door is always open to help those in need.” [KENNEBEC JOURNAL] “From a medical standpoint, how can you be okay with all of the carnage your patient has caused in Action Wrestling over the last two months? Did you not take an oath to do no harm?” [DR. ROYCE] “Ah yes, the Hippocratic oath. I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm. I take that oath very seriously. While I do not condone the violence perpetrated by my patient, he is special to me and I care about him. Part of the treatment modified and implemented with him is that he has a safe space to unleash the demons who have held him captive for most of his life. Under the sanction of professional wrestling, I am able to help Der Metzger heal and become a functional member of society once again.” [PORTLAND FORECASTER] “Who is your personal pick in the United States Championship Match between reigning champion Howard Black and his challenger Odin Balfore?” [DR. ROYCE] “I do not have a personal preference. Either one of them is suited to be the next victim of Der Metzger once he is finished disposing of Stuart Slane. While Howard Black has had a meteoric rise to the top of Action Wrestling in recent months, one should never count out how resilient and steadfast Odin Balfore can be when he is at the top of his game. Regardless of the outcome, one of them will have the unfortunate task of meeting up with Der Metzger sooner than later. Perhaps that is something for both men to consider as they prepare for their own match on Monday Night Clash." [FOX NEWS] “Is there any truth to the rumor we made up that Der Metzger will be running for President of the Unites States in 2024?” [DR. ROYCE] “Der Metzger was not born in the United States of America, nor is he even a citizen of the United States of America.” [FOX NEWS] “SHOW US HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE?!” [DR. ROYCE] “Is that a… question?” [FOX NEWS] “HE’S GOING TO TAKE OUR JOBS!!!” [DR. ROYCE] “Well… no. Next question.” [SPORTS ILLUSTRATED] “Would there be any interest on the part of your patient to post in this year’s swimsuit special edition?” [DR. ROYCE] “Absolutely yes. Der Metzger is proud of his body and he feels no shame in showing off if the price is right.” [AW NETWORK] “Who are some dream opponents for Der Metzger in Action Wrestling?” [DR. ROYCE] “Der Metzger is an equal opportunity destroyer. As he has shown in the last two months, he does not discriminate against women or minorities or jobbers or inbreds. Some that he has shown personal interest in fighting are Zombie McMorris, Downfall, Corey Bull, Adelaide Ainsworth, Matthias Mintzel, Dionysus, Twiztid Insane, Max Daemon, and Odin Balfore.” [AW NETWORK] “Is there any chance we will be hearing directly from Der Metzger about his upcoming match against Stuart Slane?” [DR. ROYCE] “What a wonderful question that I asked you to ask me. Thank you for that. Yes, prior to being sedated to be transported to Portland this weekend, Der Metzger recorded what you would call a shoot promo.” The old timey television with a videocassette recorder is rolled onto the small stage with a long extension cord. Dr. Royce puts a tape in and presses play. Ich habe in meiner zeit mit Action Wrestling nicht genug sterbliche verletzt. Ich habe nicht hoch genug von einem haufen leichen gefertigt. Ich habe selbst versagt, aber ich werde es besser machen. Stuart Slane ist müll und ich werde ihn bei Clash entsorgen. Er wird die Vereinigten Staaten nicht als Champion vertreten und Odin Balfore oder Howard Black auch nicht. Der einzige mann, der dieses prestige verdient, ist Der Metzger. Um ehrlich zu sein, die Vereinigten Staaten sind momentan eine verdammte scheiße und ihr alle verdient einen starken champion. Ein mutiger champion. Ein champion der champions. Derzeit ist kein mann oder keine frau bei dieser firma unter vertrag, die das kann, was ich kann. Ich fordere jeden einzelnen von ihnen auf, mir das gegenteil zu beweisen. Wenn ich zum champion gekrönt bin, werde ich den titel so oft mit ehre verteidigen, wie ich gebeten werde. Selbst wenn ich nicht zur verteidigung aufgefordert werde, werde ich da sein, um jeden zu besiegen, der mich falsch ansieht. Wenn sie einen wahren Champion der Vereinigten Staaten wollen, müssen sie zu den grundlagen zurückkehren: macht, stärke, furchtlosigkeit, dominanz. Keiner dieser dummen cucks hat die chance, dieses Land richtig zu repräsentieren. Nicht Stuart Slane. Nicht Odin Balfore. Nicht Howard Black. Kein ehemaliger inhaber des titels oder sonst jemand auf dieser liste. Ich bin der einzige, der diese flagge in die zukunft trägt. Und du weißt verdammt gut, dass es wahr ist. As the video ends, everyone looks confused except for the reporter from Süddeutsche Zeitung. [SUDDEUTSCH ZEITUNG] “Das war unglaublich. Vielen Dank, dass Sie für diese Pressekonferenz nach Portland, Maine, gekommen sind, Dr. Royce.” [DR. ROYCE] “Wait, wait, wait! This is Portland… Maine?! I’m supposed to be in Portland, Oregon!” He looks back and sees the Cross Insurance Arena logo on the wall. [DR. ROYCE] “This isn’t the Mazda Arena! My apologies for cutting this press conference short. I need to have Der Metzger transferred across the country.” He hurries off the stage and die szene wird schwarz. |