"Parable of the Deep: The Leviathan's Tale"
May 9, 2018 20:12:01 GMT -5
Bonnie Blue, Reece Stapleton-Shaw, and 1 more like this
Post by Wade Moor on May 9, 2018 20:12:01 GMT -5
If you could feel how this hurts
You would kill yourself first
Hack my skin all up again
And I’m hanging out with dead men
Everyone human walking this Earth has a galvanizing moment that shows them exactly what kind of person they are.
Wade Moor had seen and been through the ugliest side of the world and came out alive on the other side, fought the most violent wars in the ring...but he’d never fought a war like this. Each half of brain battered the other, emotion and rationalization locked in battle for eternity. The handle of vodka he nearly finished had only made things worse. Now he sat here alone in the WINO-BAGO, dead drunk, replaying the events of the last few weeks over again in his head.
He recalled the time he spent with Stevie in Jackson, he’d enjoyed it. Laughing and drinking the night away with another woman made him forget about the problems feasting on his mind like rats and leeches. When it came time to get physical, it made him sick to his stomach. He’d left feeling like his skin was covered in inches of grime and muck. A newfound conscience started eating him alive, couldn’t bear to think that this information would definitely kill his relationship with Bonnie...but he couldn’t live with it either.
He found her, alone in her locker room. His heart threatened to burst in his chest, anxiety welling in his eyes, words trying to stumble from his tongue. He remained stalwart through his confession. He saw the hurtful tears gather in Bonnie’s ocean blue eyes. She flung everything at him she could. He deserved worse.
“Nothing happened”
He lied.
He knew immediately that she didn’t believe a word he said.
Her venom sprayed out in droves, nearly drowning Wade in its sweet release. He heard her whisper under her breath. He only caught a few words, but it was enough.
This was that galvanizing moment for Wade.
He realized all the monstrosities he’d committed had come full circle. He took his one fleeting chance at true happiness and threw it to the wind, watching it disperse in ash and decay.
You could say Wade wasn’t feeling too good.
He felt even worse after polishing off the rest of his lonely bottle of Tito’s. It fell to the plush floor of the BAGO with a single thunk and rolled towards the vehicles incline. Wade stumbled through the RV, pushed open the door that lead to the back, and collapsed in a heap on the cheap mattress. He fought the vomit threatening to expunge itself from his belly by rolling over to his side and jamming his fingers in his eyes.
“What’s up, Wade?” A familiar voice asked.
The stars dispersed as his drunken vision became as focused as it could. Jared Holmes sat on the edge of the bed, dressed Cali casual, smoking a clove cigarette.
“What do you want?” Wade drunkenly replied.
Jared smiled, exhaling a plume of smoke through his teeth.
“I don’t know, you summoned me”, Jared said, “Missing me?”
“I don’t think so”, Wade replied as he pushed himself up to a seated position, suddenly feeling dead sober.
“Well obviously, you were thinking about something”, Jared said, “Why else would you come back to this dump of a trailer? You’re searching for something, even if you don’t know what it is.”
“How would you even know?” Wade asked.
Jared leaned forward and planted a kiss on the top of Wades head, cradling him as if he were a child.
“Because I’m your subconscious, probably”, Jared replied, “Pretty fucked, right? I created you in my image. I found you so I got to keep you. Like a moldable piece of clay you followed my every command even if it was on just a whim.”
“What do you want from me?” Wade asked, staring down at his hands, very frightened of what they could do.
“It’s more like what you want from me”, Jared said, “Your hearts shattered, you did it to yourself, blah blah blah. Fuck that stupid shit, Wade. Who the fuck even are you? You’re out here distracting yourself with this nonsense when you should only be focused in on one thing. The only thing you’ve ever been good at, fucking great even.”
He paused, dramatically, most likely on purpose.
“Kill them all, Wade”, he said.
Wades hands closed in fists, suddenly delighted with what they could do.
And I’m walking around town again
And I’m looking for a best friend
One that I could build a nest in
One that I could leave some sex in
“Regret. Misery. The agonizing pain of defeat. This is what awaits you all at Havoc - and trust me when I say the name is truly fitting. It’s going to be Havoc inside that ring. It’s going to be chaos.”
Wade grins that Cheshire grin, pointing towards your very soul.
“Wade Moor came into Action Wrestling, shut the game down, and completely restarted it. I tried to do this the right way, as peaceful as the fighting game gets...but everyone’s only wanted to see the beast. They see the Wade Moor they want to see, ugly, rotten, violent; then that’s what they’re gonna get. No more kid gloves. Action Wrestling? Ya done fucked up. Can I get a #beachbodybags on deck? Waco. Boston. Atlanta. Believe me, this is going to be a mass murder. I look down on this roster and I can’t help but be disgusted. A veritable shit show, bunch of punk asses, no exception. Gawdnilla speaks but yet you don’t listen. You’re off in fantasy land six days a week until the reality of getting into the ring with me begins to set in. Your heart rate intensifies, your blood runs cold, my hand coils around throat, and I scramble your fuckin’ brains in the middle of the ring. This is how it is and how it always will be. Action Wrestling lines them up and I break them down, brick by brick, no matter what your name is.
“Roy Speede and D-Day thought they were carrying the mantle, thought they would be running the main event gamble until they got tired of it. Boys - and trust me, you’re boys - you’ve already lost this match. So wrapped up in their hatred for one another, they let the king of the workhorses Spencer Adams and his band of misfit toys take off with Action Wrestling’s most illustrious prize - The World Championship. That’s what happens when you allow weakness into your mind. Two men governed by their emotions. They’ll #fightforever but neither of them will ever truly win. Matters of pride are fuckin’ silly sometimes.
“It matters very little who holds the World Championship at Evolution - they’ll be standing across the ring from Wade Moor and that isn’t a place you ever want to be. Whoever enters the Havoc Rumble will discover this firsthand as I wrench loose victory from their weak grasp. I’ve heard the rumors - wrestlers from all over the world have thrown their names in the hat. They’ve come to the land that I’ve sewn to eat of my fruit? My bounty? They’re in for just as rude of awakening as everyone else in this match.
“Slickie-T, Steve Orbit, Logan, Odin Balfore, Jay Omega, Joey Flash...fuck, even Bobby Cairo could wheel his old ass out to my ring, but it doesn’t matter what you’re name is. If it isn’t Wade Moor, you’re going over that rope. You feel the right hand of Gawdnilla schlap you as you hit the arena floor. I’ll leave you lying broken in a puddle of various bodily functions as I do. Nothing will compare to the pang of defeat though. That’s always the worst.”
Wade Moor chuckles.
“Who in this federation can stand up and boldly exclaim and proffer to even be in the same standing as me? I’m flicking through the peanut gallery in my minds eye and I can’t help but laugh. I laugh my children, but it only hurts. The Guardians? The Good Lads? #FightSmart? The dregs of NBW and UCI? What a crock of absolute shit. I could lace these fools up any day of the week, break them in half like a board, leave them humbled. They’ll have the distinct advantage of being able to team up and take me out together but even then it wouldn’t matter. They’re acting like I didn’t run the greatest wrestling stable in the world, #beachkrew. I’m well versed in the gangland tactics groups employ in the style of matches. They swarm like locusts but forget that I created the plagues, anything they want to try and throw at me they learned from a book scribed by yours truly.
“That is only one measure of power and control I hold in this match. When I came to Action Wrestling, I told everyone that I was here to be the best Wade Moor that anyone’s ever seen. I’ve proved this consistently, week by week. I’m in my zone and that is the Worlds Most Dangerous game for you. I know you’ve heard me say it before, but now I’m inviting everyone to play. Every. Fucking. One. Of. You. You guys must be feelin’ like you’re on cloud nine right now. You have a shot in the Havoc Rumble, an opportunity at the World Championship on the line. Don’t kid yourselves...even the 201 roster is in this match. So before you get on your high horse about how you’re walking out the winner, think before you speak. Gawdnilla’s in this match with you; tough break bitches.
“From the first entrant to the the last, and every champion in between. Gonzalez, Lockhart, TFK, John Frost, Power Word, ZMAC...doesn’t matter. You’re all fine competitors I’m sure, worthy of some distinction, far above the rest of the riff raff populating this Action Wrestling roster, but from bottom to top I am better than every single one of you. I’ve outlasted better men and women than any of you, you’re no better than them. I’m getting shades of WAR here; approach the podium, my children, and let Wade regale you with one his Parables of the Deep.
“The year is 2016 - I was having the hottest start of any rookie in recent memory. Any moment surrounded in controversy in the WCF, you can bet my name was spoken in the exact same breath. Nightmares couldn’t even warn them of the evil winds coming their way; the death of Scarecrow, bitch made bird man. A slew of the WCFs roster lay broken at my feet. I was in line to win WAR and take my spot at the top as World Champion, where I belonged...but the unthinkable happened. I got ahead of myself and took the win for granted. I let my guard down and somebody else capitalized on that moment. I should have been broken, done, defeated, like half of you will inevitably feel after Havoc...But I didn’t lay down and die. I rose from my knees, brushed dirt on my wounds, and formulated a plan. I was still going to take what was mine. The next week on Slam, that moment cake to fruition. He couldn’t handle the onslaught I laid on him and he fell to his knees in front of me. His eyes pleaded with me; please don’t. It was all he had in this life. Didn’t matter, didn’t change anything, because I’m still Wade.”
Wade laughs.
“I’m still King. What else should I tell you?”
An ethereal voice from all around answers.
fuck it, just tell them the truth
“The fact that any of you think you have a chance at winning is insulting. I don’t even have to mention half of you, you’re nonfactors. So that leaves me with burning question of ‘Where do I even start?’ Something familiar? Familiarity breeds contempt, or some such shit like that. Kyle Kemp, you son of a bitch, how dumb do you have to be to throw your name in the same arena as Wade Moor? Haven’t I taught you this same lesson multiple times? It doesn’t matter which banner you’re floating these days, Wade Moor is Better Than You. Trust me when I say, I’ve given you multiple opportunities to prove yourself, both as friend and foe.
“Your problem, and you don’t seem to understand, is you’re not Better Than Anything. You’ve taken what amounts to natural talent and you’ve done nothing but shit on it. You should be one of the best in that ring. I see how easy you can make it look, but you make being a star in this business seem like the most unattainable goal. The higher ups practically hand you the brass ring but you still manage to drop it. What happens when you reach the glass ceiling? Do you get caught up in your own reflection? Fuckin’ plebeian.
“Even when you were in #beachkrew you practically had the keys to the kingdom handed to you but you never learned how to open the locked door. Then I sealed your humiliation and your spot in the pecking order when WMD rent the Tag Team Championships from yours and Teos hands. Barely even put up a fight, shit was a disgrace. Now under #fightsmart, you’re living the ultimate lie. Clinging to coattails that don’t mean a damn thing in Spencer Adams. You’re dumb as shit, Kyle, and you always will be. Trapped in a hole that you dug while Gawdnilla stays completely in control.”
who’s next?
“How about Camilla Gonzalez? Some other mental defect that management deemed worthy of a contract, even though she probably gets paid in horchata and Zoloft. Now she’s got a job, she’s off the streets and out of whatever borough she was stripping in, and still complains that it’s not enough. Trust me, Thot, you’ve got more than you’ll ever need. What did your pimp do when you shined to him? The same thing I’m gonna do at Havoc. Pimp Hand Strong Style has arrived, worlds most dangerous bitch, and you got a little something comin’ your way, courtesy of Broseidon.
“You want to insert yourself into my business? Who the fuck do you think you are? What the fuck do you think this is? This isn’t the Camilla Gonzalez show. You’re lucky to even be a footnote in Wade Moors Action Wrestling. This isn’t a game, this isn’t love and hip hop, you gutter trash. Your Giphy won’t save you here. Seriously, if I wanted to be uninspiring, I’d practice by scrolling through your worthless twitter feed. At least it has more going on than your career. The bright side, right? Because the dark half ain’t looking so good for you. The things I’m going to do to you before I toss you over that rope will have you fantasizing about a hole in the ground.”
bunch of fuccbois, no exception
“That brings me to TFK. United States Champion? I guess you’re the guy to carry that mantle considering the United States is basically one massive dumpster fire, but at least we have good craft beer right? You know, even though you’re the United States Champion, I still don’t feel as if I have anything to fear from you. At least these other guys who know they don’t have a shot are packing as many people under their ranks as they possibly can, but you’re walking in here all by yourself. I don’t know whether to call you courageous or just a straight up dumb motherfucker. Seriously, The Guardians. PW:K. #FightSmart. The FlunKies? Don’t say I never gave you anything before I decided to rip everything away.
“Let’s take a look at this fact alone; it took you like three whole months to lace up that John Frost haberdashery. It took me one night. Then he fucked off and won the UCI Championship because he himself wishes he were in a company that Wade Moor wasn’t. I’m sure if he didn’t have that six month clause on that United States Championship he would have eventually won it in your guys eighth program in five months. That doesn’t make you captivating performers, it makes you two buffoons who didn’t know when to say enough is enough.
“And enough has definitely been enough. John Frost, don’t mistake any of this as complimentary to you; you’re just as heaping a pile of dog shit as TFK is. Seriously, you’re like sixty two, you should be barreling through these young dummies, but instead you’re getting beebopped by men half your age but three times your talent level. Somewhere in your forties you should have realized this shit isn’t for you. You can lead a horse to water right? You can’t talk the talk, you get your ass beat by TFK so you obviously can’t walk the walk either. A chump of the highest order, if I’ve ever seen one before.
“How’s That UCI Championship taste? You beat that fuckin’ goof Corey Bull for the belt, congratulations the guy has multiple personality disorder, and he beat Spencer Adams who I’m gonna nuke at Evolution. So I’m the grand scheme of things, you’re my bitch Frost, and you always will be my bitch. After Havoc, even the UCI Championship paycheck won’t be able to pay your massive medical bills. Thank TFK because healthcare in this county is shit. You’re lucky if it will even buy you a junior bacon McDouble or whatever the fuck. Hungry nilla gotta eat.”
did you catch the W A V E?
“Hiya Felix, how ya doin? Do you recall when I walked you to school every morning? I had your #beachkrew lunch box packed with all your favorite snacks, which you would promptly trade for WCF supercards or something? No, you don’t remember? Well, allow me to refresh your memory at Havoc. I’m going to take you to school. I’m going to put the entirety of Power Word: Kill to task come Sunday when I challenge this unearned sense of superiority you two wastes of skin have. You think because you couldn’t hold down a job at the Food Lion that sleeping in the streets and eating garbage somehow makes you above it all? Son, you don’t even know the half of it. Sit down, cross your legs Indian style...Papa Gawdnilla’s gonna teach you a fuckin’ thing or two.
“You’re posing like some mumble rapper whose mom couldn’t afford the name brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Felix Stapleton the fifth crying about his anger issues or some shit so he drinks his problems away. How original. Do you know how it feels to die, Felix, my boy? Taking a bullet feels like being set on fire and the knife blade feels ice cold. I see things when I sleep at night no author could describe in words. I’ve went to bed hungry and I’ve fought for my life. Those were the chips I was dealt while you had Kroger brand W A V Y lays in the pantry. You want to talk about struggle? You wouldn’t even know where to begin. So, before you speak, I actually invite you to shut your whiny entitled mouth for once in your pathetic, meaningless life.
“Havoc doesn’t belong to Power Word: Kill. The Tag Team Championships barely belong to Power Word: Kill. Reese Shaw and his fat fuck friend Philly are about to get their first taste of actual competition. I’ve seen your fat jokes, Reese. You even have Felix mimicking you like a personal parrot. You surround yourself with glad handing yes men because you systematically fail in every aspect of your life. How’s law school going? Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. I know you got in the wrestling business because you wanted to piss your Daddy off, but you decided to stay because you found a lot of weak of mind and heart drift through these halls. Easily manipulated to serve Shaw’s purpose.
“I’d buy the whole sociopathic trust fund baby but I don’t even think that’s the case. In fact, I think you have an over abundance of emotion, probably never got the recognition from your father that you felt you so rightfully deserved. Moms probably taking five colozipin every day because you know how bored rich women are so she wasn’t around. That’s why you surround yourself with people who only scrub Reese’s ego. But they always need something too so there’s never any negative connotations in your relationship. Philly just wanted a friend. Felix just needed a ride. You just need a hug. My ring isn’t the place you’re going to find anything remotely resembling this. Unless you’re hugging the turnbuckle while I ruthlessly kick your guts into your throat you pious, yet self loathing, piece of shit.”
oh desperate lovers? but we’re through
“Bonnie baby, I believe I speak for both of us when I say it’s over? I don’t know what it is we were looking for from each other, but when I think about it...it makes me ashamed, sick and disgusted. Love isn’t enough. Love is just a word that we say. Were we really that afraid to be alone? Two mortal enemies coming together makes for pretty captivating drama...but eventually reality comes crashing down. Honeymoons over, I suppose, and now we’re about to find out who the better half. Perhaps we’ve known all along?”
Wade shushes her as if she were a pained child.
“Don’t cry, Bonnie. Devil don’t cry, baby. Maybe in another life we’ll be Queen and King, you and I, but here and now? You’ve known it would always be me. You saw me as nothing more than a rescue pet. Clean up Gawdnilla. You can take the mud off the demon but a demon he remains. In a horrid twist of fate, it was you who needed to be rescued. You were hoping I was your knight in shining armor? Bonnie, please, cut the horse shit. You’ve known who I was all along and how this was going to go, how it was always gonna go. You knew that someday I would break that indomitable Reb spirit that exists inside you, this tidal wave would quench the fire raging in your heart. You craved it. You wouldn’t get in a relationship with me if you didn’t somehow expect your heart to get broken someday. I did more than break it; I shattered it into a thousand pieces. Don’t look so surprised though, you were always afraid of the monster in the closet, turns out he was laying in bed next to you all this time.
“So lays to bed Wade Moor’s temporary distraction. Imagine that for a moment, this whole time I’ve been winning I’ve been distracted. That’s bad fucking news for Action Wrestling. That’s bad fucking news for the Havoc Rumble. That’s bad fucking news for Spencer Adams and whoever else wants to stand in my on the way to the World Championship. I’m done with ya, all of ya. There’s no law in this land now, Wade Moor’s going to war...”
Wade chuckles, hearty and deep.
“And I’m about to killem’ all.”
Bow down pray to your God
My girl don’t eat from the garden again
You would kill yourself first
Hack my skin all up again
And I’m hanging out with dead men
Everyone human walking this Earth has a galvanizing moment that shows them exactly what kind of person they are.
Wade Moor had seen and been through the ugliest side of the world and came out alive on the other side, fought the most violent wars in the ring...but he’d never fought a war like this. Each half of brain battered the other, emotion and rationalization locked in battle for eternity. The handle of vodka he nearly finished had only made things worse. Now he sat here alone in the WINO-BAGO, dead drunk, replaying the events of the last few weeks over again in his head.
He recalled the time he spent with Stevie in Jackson, he’d enjoyed it. Laughing and drinking the night away with another woman made him forget about the problems feasting on his mind like rats and leeches. When it came time to get physical, it made him sick to his stomach. He’d left feeling like his skin was covered in inches of grime and muck. A newfound conscience started eating him alive, couldn’t bear to think that this information would definitely kill his relationship with Bonnie...but he couldn’t live with it either.
He found her, alone in her locker room. His heart threatened to burst in his chest, anxiety welling in his eyes, words trying to stumble from his tongue. He remained stalwart through his confession. He saw the hurtful tears gather in Bonnie’s ocean blue eyes. She flung everything at him she could. He deserved worse.
“Nothing happened”
He lied.
He knew immediately that she didn’t believe a word he said.
Her venom sprayed out in droves, nearly drowning Wade in its sweet release. He heard her whisper under her breath. He only caught a few words, but it was enough.
This was that galvanizing moment for Wade.
He realized all the monstrosities he’d committed had come full circle. He took his one fleeting chance at true happiness and threw it to the wind, watching it disperse in ash and decay.
You could say Wade wasn’t feeling too good.
He felt even worse after polishing off the rest of his lonely bottle of Tito’s. It fell to the plush floor of the BAGO with a single thunk and rolled towards the vehicles incline. Wade stumbled through the RV, pushed open the door that lead to the back, and collapsed in a heap on the cheap mattress. He fought the vomit threatening to expunge itself from his belly by rolling over to his side and jamming his fingers in his eyes.
“What’s up, Wade?” A familiar voice asked.
The stars dispersed as his drunken vision became as focused as it could. Jared Holmes sat on the edge of the bed, dressed Cali casual, smoking a clove cigarette.
“What do you want?” Wade drunkenly replied.
Jared smiled, exhaling a plume of smoke through his teeth.
“I don’t know, you summoned me”, Jared said, “Missing me?”
“I don’t think so”, Wade replied as he pushed himself up to a seated position, suddenly feeling dead sober.
“Well obviously, you were thinking about something”, Jared said, “Why else would you come back to this dump of a trailer? You’re searching for something, even if you don’t know what it is.”
“How would you even know?” Wade asked.
Jared leaned forward and planted a kiss on the top of Wades head, cradling him as if he were a child.
“Because I’m your subconscious, probably”, Jared replied, “Pretty fucked, right? I created you in my image. I found you so I got to keep you. Like a moldable piece of clay you followed my every command even if it was on just a whim.”
“What do you want from me?” Wade asked, staring down at his hands, very frightened of what they could do.
“It’s more like what you want from me”, Jared said, “Your hearts shattered, you did it to yourself, blah blah blah. Fuck that stupid shit, Wade. Who the fuck even are you? You’re out here distracting yourself with this nonsense when you should only be focused in on one thing. The only thing you’ve ever been good at, fucking great even.”
He paused, dramatically, most likely on purpose.
“Kill them all, Wade”, he said.
Wades hands closed in fists, suddenly delighted with what they could do.
And I’m walking around town again
And I’m looking for a best friend
One that I could build a nest in
One that I could leave some sex in
“Regret. Misery. The agonizing pain of defeat. This is what awaits you all at Havoc - and trust me when I say the name is truly fitting. It’s going to be Havoc inside that ring. It’s going to be chaos.”
Wade grins that Cheshire grin, pointing towards your very soul.
“Wade Moor came into Action Wrestling, shut the game down, and completely restarted it. I tried to do this the right way, as peaceful as the fighting game gets...but everyone’s only wanted to see the beast. They see the Wade Moor they want to see, ugly, rotten, violent; then that’s what they’re gonna get. No more kid gloves. Action Wrestling? Ya done fucked up. Can I get a #beachbodybags on deck? Waco. Boston. Atlanta. Believe me, this is going to be a mass murder. I look down on this roster and I can’t help but be disgusted. A veritable shit show, bunch of punk asses, no exception. Gawdnilla speaks but yet you don’t listen. You’re off in fantasy land six days a week until the reality of getting into the ring with me begins to set in. Your heart rate intensifies, your blood runs cold, my hand coils around throat, and I scramble your fuckin’ brains in the middle of the ring. This is how it is and how it always will be. Action Wrestling lines them up and I break them down, brick by brick, no matter what your name is.
“Roy Speede and D-Day thought they were carrying the mantle, thought they would be running the main event gamble until they got tired of it. Boys - and trust me, you’re boys - you’ve already lost this match. So wrapped up in their hatred for one another, they let the king of the workhorses Spencer Adams and his band of misfit toys take off with Action Wrestling’s most illustrious prize - The World Championship. That’s what happens when you allow weakness into your mind. Two men governed by their emotions. They’ll #fightforever but neither of them will ever truly win. Matters of pride are fuckin’ silly sometimes.
“It matters very little who holds the World Championship at Evolution - they’ll be standing across the ring from Wade Moor and that isn’t a place you ever want to be. Whoever enters the Havoc Rumble will discover this firsthand as I wrench loose victory from their weak grasp. I’ve heard the rumors - wrestlers from all over the world have thrown their names in the hat. They’ve come to the land that I’ve sewn to eat of my fruit? My bounty? They’re in for just as rude of awakening as everyone else in this match.
“Slickie-T, Steve Orbit, Logan, Odin Balfore, Jay Omega, Joey Flash...fuck, even Bobby Cairo could wheel his old ass out to my ring, but it doesn’t matter what you’re name is. If it isn’t Wade Moor, you’re going over that rope. You feel the right hand of Gawdnilla schlap you as you hit the arena floor. I’ll leave you lying broken in a puddle of various bodily functions as I do. Nothing will compare to the pang of defeat though. That’s always the worst.”
Wade Moor chuckles.
“Who in this federation can stand up and boldly exclaim and proffer to even be in the same standing as me? I’m flicking through the peanut gallery in my minds eye and I can’t help but laugh. I laugh my children, but it only hurts. The Guardians? The Good Lads? #FightSmart? The dregs of NBW and UCI? What a crock of absolute shit. I could lace these fools up any day of the week, break them in half like a board, leave them humbled. They’ll have the distinct advantage of being able to team up and take me out together but even then it wouldn’t matter. They’re acting like I didn’t run the greatest wrestling stable in the world, #beachkrew. I’m well versed in the gangland tactics groups employ in the style of matches. They swarm like locusts but forget that I created the plagues, anything they want to try and throw at me they learned from a book scribed by yours truly.
“That is only one measure of power and control I hold in this match. When I came to Action Wrestling, I told everyone that I was here to be the best Wade Moor that anyone’s ever seen. I’ve proved this consistently, week by week. I’m in my zone and that is the Worlds Most Dangerous game for you. I know you’ve heard me say it before, but now I’m inviting everyone to play. Every. Fucking. One. Of. You. You guys must be feelin’ like you’re on cloud nine right now. You have a shot in the Havoc Rumble, an opportunity at the World Championship on the line. Don’t kid yourselves...even the 201 roster is in this match. So before you get on your high horse about how you’re walking out the winner, think before you speak. Gawdnilla’s in this match with you; tough break bitches.
“From the first entrant to the the last, and every champion in between. Gonzalez, Lockhart, TFK, John Frost, Power Word, ZMAC...doesn’t matter. You’re all fine competitors I’m sure, worthy of some distinction, far above the rest of the riff raff populating this Action Wrestling roster, but from bottom to top I am better than every single one of you. I’ve outlasted better men and women than any of you, you’re no better than them. I’m getting shades of WAR here; approach the podium, my children, and let Wade regale you with one his Parables of the Deep.
“The year is 2016 - I was having the hottest start of any rookie in recent memory. Any moment surrounded in controversy in the WCF, you can bet my name was spoken in the exact same breath. Nightmares couldn’t even warn them of the evil winds coming their way; the death of Scarecrow, bitch made bird man. A slew of the WCFs roster lay broken at my feet. I was in line to win WAR and take my spot at the top as World Champion, where I belonged...but the unthinkable happened. I got ahead of myself and took the win for granted. I let my guard down and somebody else capitalized on that moment. I should have been broken, done, defeated, like half of you will inevitably feel after Havoc...But I didn’t lay down and die. I rose from my knees, brushed dirt on my wounds, and formulated a plan. I was still going to take what was mine. The next week on Slam, that moment cake to fruition. He couldn’t handle the onslaught I laid on him and he fell to his knees in front of me. His eyes pleaded with me; please don’t. It was all he had in this life. Didn’t matter, didn’t change anything, because I’m still Wade.”
Wade laughs.
“I’m still King. What else should I tell you?”
An ethereal voice from all around answers.
fuck it, just tell them the truth
“The fact that any of you think you have a chance at winning is insulting. I don’t even have to mention half of you, you’re nonfactors. So that leaves me with burning question of ‘Where do I even start?’ Something familiar? Familiarity breeds contempt, or some such shit like that. Kyle Kemp, you son of a bitch, how dumb do you have to be to throw your name in the same arena as Wade Moor? Haven’t I taught you this same lesson multiple times? It doesn’t matter which banner you’re floating these days, Wade Moor is Better Than You. Trust me when I say, I’ve given you multiple opportunities to prove yourself, both as friend and foe.
“Your problem, and you don’t seem to understand, is you’re not Better Than Anything. You’ve taken what amounts to natural talent and you’ve done nothing but shit on it. You should be one of the best in that ring. I see how easy you can make it look, but you make being a star in this business seem like the most unattainable goal. The higher ups practically hand you the brass ring but you still manage to drop it. What happens when you reach the glass ceiling? Do you get caught up in your own reflection? Fuckin’ plebeian.
“Even when you were in #beachkrew you practically had the keys to the kingdom handed to you but you never learned how to open the locked door. Then I sealed your humiliation and your spot in the pecking order when WMD rent the Tag Team Championships from yours and Teos hands. Barely even put up a fight, shit was a disgrace. Now under #fightsmart, you’re living the ultimate lie. Clinging to coattails that don’t mean a damn thing in Spencer Adams. You’re dumb as shit, Kyle, and you always will be. Trapped in a hole that you dug while Gawdnilla stays completely in control.”
who’s next?
“How about Camilla Gonzalez? Some other mental defect that management deemed worthy of a contract, even though she probably gets paid in horchata and Zoloft. Now she’s got a job, she’s off the streets and out of whatever borough she was stripping in, and still complains that it’s not enough. Trust me, Thot, you’ve got more than you’ll ever need. What did your pimp do when you shined to him? The same thing I’m gonna do at Havoc. Pimp Hand Strong Style has arrived, worlds most dangerous bitch, and you got a little something comin’ your way, courtesy of Broseidon.
“You want to insert yourself into my business? Who the fuck do you think you are? What the fuck do you think this is? This isn’t the Camilla Gonzalez show. You’re lucky to even be a footnote in Wade Moors Action Wrestling. This isn’t a game, this isn’t love and hip hop, you gutter trash. Your Giphy won’t save you here. Seriously, if I wanted to be uninspiring, I’d practice by scrolling through your worthless twitter feed. At least it has more going on than your career. The bright side, right? Because the dark half ain’t looking so good for you. The things I’m going to do to you before I toss you over that rope will have you fantasizing about a hole in the ground.”
bunch of fuccbois, no exception
“That brings me to TFK. United States Champion? I guess you’re the guy to carry that mantle considering the United States is basically one massive dumpster fire, but at least we have good craft beer right? You know, even though you’re the United States Champion, I still don’t feel as if I have anything to fear from you. At least these other guys who know they don’t have a shot are packing as many people under their ranks as they possibly can, but you’re walking in here all by yourself. I don’t know whether to call you courageous or just a straight up dumb motherfucker. Seriously, The Guardians. PW:K. #FightSmart. The FlunKies? Don’t say I never gave you anything before I decided to rip everything away.
“Let’s take a look at this fact alone; it took you like three whole months to lace up that John Frost haberdashery. It took me one night. Then he fucked off and won the UCI Championship because he himself wishes he were in a company that Wade Moor wasn’t. I’m sure if he didn’t have that six month clause on that United States Championship he would have eventually won it in your guys eighth program in five months. That doesn’t make you captivating performers, it makes you two buffoons who didn’t know when to say enough is enough.
“And enough has definitely been enough. John Frost, don’t mistake any of this as complimentary to you; you’re just as heaping a pile of dog shit as TFK is. Seriously, you’re like sixty two, you should be barreling through these young dummies, but instead you’re getting beebopped by men half your age but three times your talent level. Somewhere in your forties you should have realized this shit isn’t for you. You can lead a horse to water right? You can’t talk the talk, you get your ass beat by TFK so you obviously can’t walk the walk either. A chump of the highest order, if I’ve ever seen one before.
“How’s That UCI Championship taste? You beat that fuckin’ goof Corey Bull for the belt, congratulations the guy has multiple personality disorder, and he beat Spencer Adams who I’m gonna nuke at Evolution. So I’m the grand scheme of things, you’re my bitch Frost, and you always will be my bitch. After Havoc, even the UCI Championship paycheck won’t be able to pay your massive medical bills. Thank TFK because healthcare in this county is shit. You’re lucky if it will even buy you a junior bacon McDouble or whatever the fuck. Hungry nilla gotta eat.”
did you catch the W A V E?
“Hiya Felix, how ya doin? Do you recall when I walked you to school every morning? I had your #beachkrew lunch box packed with all your favorite snacks, which you would promptly trade for WCF supercards or something? No, you don’t remember? Well, allow me to refresh your memory at Havoc. I’m going to take you to school. I’m going to put the entirety of Power Word: Kill to task come Sunday when I challenge this unearned sense of superiority you two wastes of skin have. You think because you couldn’t hold down a job at the Food Lion that sleeping in the streets and eating garbage somehow makes you above it all? Son, you don’t even know the half of it. Sit down, cross your legs Indian style...Papa Gawdnilla’s gonna teach you a fuckin’ thing or two.
“You’re posing like some mumble rapper whose mom couldn’t afford the name brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Felix Stapleton the fifth crying about his anger issues or some shit so he drinks his problems away. How original. Do you know how it feels to die, Felix, my boy? Taking a bullet feels like being set on fire and the knife blade feels ice cold. I see things when I sleep at night no author could describe in words. I’ve went to bed hungry and I’ve fought for my life. Those were the chips I was dealt while you had Kroger brand W A V Y lays in the pantry. You want to talk about struggle? You wouldn’t even know where to begin. So, before you speak, I actually invite you to shut your whiny entitled mouth for once in your pathetic, meaningless life.
“Havoc doesn’t belong to Power Word: Kill. The Tag Team Championships barely belong to Power Word: Kill. Reese Shaw and his fat fuck friend Philly are about to get their first taste of actual competition. I’ve seen your fat jokes, Reese. You even have Felix mimicking you like a personal parrot. You surround yourself with glad handing yes men because you systematically fail in every aspect of your life. How’s law school going? Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. I know you got in the wrestling business because you wanted to piss your Daddy off, but you decided to stay because you found a lot of weak of mind and heart drift through these halls. Easily manipulated to serve Shaw’s purpose.
“I’d buy the whole sociopathic trust fund baby but I don’t even think that’s the case. In fact, I think you have an over abundance of emotion, probably never got the recognition from your father that you felt you so rightfully deserved. Moms probably taking five colozipin every day because you know how bored rich women are so she wasn’t around. That’s why you surround yourself with people who only scrub Reese’s ego. But they always need something too so there’s never any negative connotations in your relationship. Philly just wanted a friend. Felix just needed a ride. You just need a hug. My ring isn’t the place you’re going to find anything remotely resembling this. Unless you’re hugging the turnbuckle while I ruthlessly kick your guts into your throat you pious, yet self loathing, piece of shit.”
oh desperate lovers? but we’re through
“Bonnie baby, I believe I speak for both of us when I say it’s over? I don’t know what it is we were looking for from each other, but when I think about it...it makes me ashamed, sick and disgusted. Love isn’t enough. Love is just a word that we say. Were we really that afraid to be alone? Two mortal enemies coming together makes for pretty captivating drama...but eventually reality comes crashing down. Honeymoons over, I suppose, and now we’re about to find out who the better half. Perhaps we’ve known all along?”
Wade shushes her as if she were a pained child.
“Don’t cry, Bonnie. Devil don’t cry, baby. Maybe in another life we’ll be Queen and King, you and I, but here and now? You’ve known it would always be me. You saw me as nothing more than a rescue pet. Clean up Gawdnilla. You can take the mud off the demon but a demon he remains. In a horrid twist of fate, it was you who needed to be rescued. You were hoping I was your knight in shining armor? Bonnie, please, cut the horse shit. You’ve known who I was all along and how this was going to go, how it was always gonna go. You knew that someday I would break that indomitable Reb spirit that exists inside you, this tidal wave would quench the fire raging in your heart. You craved it. You wouldn’t get in a relationship with me if you didn’t somehow expect your heart to get broken someday. I did more than break it; I shattered it into a thousand pieces. Don’t look so surprised though, you were always afraid of the monster in the closet, turns out he was laying in bed next to you all this time.
“So lays to bed Wade Moor’s temporary distraction. Imagine that for a moment, this whole time I’ve been winning I’ve been distracted. That’s bad fucking news for Action Wrestling. That’s bad fucking news for the Havoc Rumble. That’s bad fucking news for Spencer Adams and whoever else wants to stand in my on the way to the World Championship. I’m done with ya, all of ya. There’s no law in this land now, Wade Moor’s going to war...”
Wade chuckles, hearty and deep.
“And I’m about to killem’ all.”
Bow down pray to your God
My girl don’t eat from the garden again