This week's challenge - mention no opponents. Dec 18, 2020 18:48:12 GMT -5 CJ Phoenix, Orret the Time Bandit, and 3 more like this
Post by Andre Jenson on Dec 18, 2020 18:48:12 GMT -5
Kem, the final bastion of righteousness in the world. The final place where all that is good and decent happens, the only place that seems to have a functioning government that’s not full of assholes and..
Sorry, let’s not get *too* political here, it’s not Wednesday. All I’m saying is Kem is a great place full of verdant fields and lovely people, all of which so happen to be SUPER NERDS. THAT LARP. So it is not at all surprising that the residents of Kem are currently engaged in the annual “free for all brawl (No girls)” competition. The rules of the brawl are simple, everyone gets a sword, shield, armour, wand, staff, or whatever the hell they wanna use to fight - I know one guy actually has one of those Japanese love pillows with the imprint of a Neko girl that he’s using as a decoy, weirdly to a lot of success. The love pillow actually has the record number of eliminations this year so far.
Anyhoo, that’s not the point, the point is this knock down drag, or walk out affair is Brutal. It’s sadistic. It’s fun as all hell and Jenson hosts it every year. The winner gets the cup of wonders. (Which, quite honestly, is one of those Zelda cups he got from Lootcrate that changes the windows from stained glass to show a logo or something when hot liquid is in it.)
So yeah, we’re getting down to the end of the fight here. Jenson, wearing full wizard garb, with a pointy hat, loads of d20 garb and a quite frankly ludicrous staff is staring down Amy, who, despite the title of the brawl including the words no girls, is in fact a girl, wearing full elf maiden garb complete with decorative Bow and Tolkien style Elf Ears.To her side, staring down Jenson is Bob, who completely forgot what LARP was about and is wearing a mechanic’s suit, patting a wrench in his hand and Lord Aylesbury, in full knight armour, probably staring at someone but you can’t see because, well, he only has a little slit over his eyes because armour is a thing.
“I’m gonna cast lightning bolt on your ass Amy” says Jenson, smirking.
“You know telling me what you’re gonna cast isn’t going to help you, right?” She replies, eyes twinkling.
“MMmMMmMMMmM MM MmMmMMMmmMMM” Says Aylesbury, his voice hella muffled in his helm.
“I don’t know what he just said, and I still don’t know what’s goin’ on, but anyone comes near me and I smash them with this wrench.” Says Bob.
“This reminds me of Cruiser Havoc” Says Jenson, switching his view between Amy and Aylesbury”
“MMmmMMM mMMMMmMMMM MMMMM” Muffles Aylesbury.
“Doesn’t matter if I have been in it yet, I’m still reminded of it. Third eye of the raven son.”
“That’s not how it works.” Claims Amy.
“It is! I know for example that in a moment, Aylesbury will make his move and Bob will be out.”
Just as Amy starts, Aylesbury marches toward Bob, Bob yelps and falls over, then gets smacked by a broadsword. The referee in charge blows his bugle and Bob is now out.”
“No luck in it! Third eye! It’s going to be the same sort of thing at Cruiser Havoc.”
“What, a guy is gonna attack a mechanic in armour?”
“Possibly! No, I mean I will outlast everyone! Like I am going to outlast everyone in this, then I am gonna be a triple champion!”
“You’re only one champion now! How would you be triple if you win the Cruiserweight title?”
“I hold two belts right now, that’s why!”
“That’s not how….”
“How many belts do we have between us?”
“I call my case, your honour., Aylesbury is gonna move again, then I’m gonna win.
Just as he says this, Aylesbury moves on Amy, she deftly rolls and pulls her bow, hitting him right in the eye slit of his armour. Jenson then attacks Amy, who swiftly sidesteps, putting another arrow inbetween his eyes.
“You really have a third eye huh?” Amy laughs as the bugle declares her the winner.
“Better luck at Havoc.”