Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Nov 15, 2020 16:05:24 GMT -5
Stuart Slane and kolya like this
Post by Flop on Nov 15, 2020 16:05:24 GMT -5
Alone with a goat on a desolate promontory, Flops vigorously practices moving things with his mind.
"Derrick, we must teach the female clone of Stuart Slane the way of the Florce."
"Nahahahahaha."
"It is the only way."
"Nahahahahaha."
"Yes. I understand the Florce is not real, but I really really really really want my helicopter, a million dollars, and the Cruiserweight Title, and and and... well Teo Blaze and Andre Jensen are going to be a really hard team to beat. I will never be able to do it alone. Help me, help her."
Flop is running up and down the 72 stone steps of the Philadelphia of Museum of Art. Flop gets to the bottom, completely exhausted, Derrick the Goat is waiting for him at the bottom. Flop is completely and totally exhausted. So much so that even getting the words out is a struggle.
"Have... to... build... cardio.... Have... to... be... Flocky..."
Flop vomits.
"Nahahahahaha."
"I need to teach Stella to channel her inner Flocky too. Together, we can overcome the odds of taking on two of the best, we need to train. I need to train to be like Flocky so we can put down Teo Creed and Clubber Jenson. And Derek when we go the distance and win, but have to go to the hospital because we are all so beat up, me and Female Slane Clone, that's maybe from the future we are going to win wheelchair races."
"Nahahahahaha."
Flop is walking up to a random car wash in Charlotte, North Carolina. Derrick the Goat follows obediently by his side. He walks up to the man waxing the car.
"I am Daniel LaFlopso and I want your job."
The man looks at him strangely, as Derrick starts getting aggressive.
"Calm, Derrick, no dick-biting today."
The waxing man who coincidentally is wearing a white bandanna with a red sun depicted upon continues to looks at Daniel LaFlopso and Derrick strangely.
"Good Sir, let me explain, I do not want to take your job. I merely wish to do your job to practice the art of patience as my teammate, Future Female Stuart Slane, and we have to fight to gentlemen with the teamwork and chemistry of Holmes and Watson, not the Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly version either - they were terrible by the way. No, these two opponents are Teo Blazekai and Andre Kreese. Nonsensical names aside, sir. I need to learn patience and doing your waxing job will help me."
"I get paid?"
"Sure why not. I'm getting a helicopter."
The waxing cloth is thrown at Daniel LaFlopso, he starts waxing the car.
"Wax on. Wax Off. Patience my friend is the lesson we must move as one even with Stella Slater, the future female clone of Stuart Slane. Together we can overcome the odds that are put in front of us. We will show them that we can the second-best team in CruiserClash history behind The Good Guys. That will be us. Wax on. Wax Off."
"Nahahahahaha."
"I don't want to do Derrick. I feel my methods are not working."
"Nahahahahaha."
"You're right we should go to her house."
"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
Flop looks at Derrick when a girl scout walks up to him selling cookies.
"Maybe Stella isn't home, Derrick."
"Would you like to buy some cookies, sir?"
"What are you?"
"A Girl scout."
"You're real?"
"Yes."
"Wow. I just assumed that girl scouts were just weird clones of boys scouts and we either future things or fake. But girl scouts are real. Maybe Stella Slater isn't Stuart Slane in a dress because he wishes he was a lesbian dinosaur. To that, I must work even harder to help Stella Slater in her endeavours. I will even let her ride my helicopter. We will beat Andre Jenson and Teo Blaze."
"Sir, do you want cookies?"
Flop buys cookies. The girl scout leaves.
"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
"Nahahahahaha."
"Yes, Derrick we will come when Stella is sleeping, that way we will know she is home. I will whisper our winning plan in her ear while she is sleeping, she will come to be us. It'll be like a brain worm."
"Derrick, we must teach the female clone of Stuart Slane the way of the Florce."
"Nahahahahaha."
"It is the only way."
"Nahahahahaha."
"Yes. I understand the Florce is not real, but I really really really really want my helicopter, a million dollars, and the Cruiserweight Title, and and and... well Teo Blaze and Andre Jensen are going to be a really hard team to beat. I will never be able to do it alone. Help me, help her."
[static cut]
Flop is running up and down the 72 stone steps of the Philadelphia of Museum of Art. Flop gets to the bottom, completely exhausted, Derrick the Goat is waiting for him at the bottom. Flop is completely and totally exhausted. So much so that even getting the words out is a struggle.
"Have... to... build... cardio.... Have... to... be... Flocky..."
Flop vomits.
"Nahahahahaha."
"I need to teach Stella to channel her inner Flocky too. Together, we can overcome the odds of taking on two of the best, we need to train. I need to train to be like Flocky so we can put down Teo Creed and Clubber Jenson. And Derek when we go the distance and win, but have to go to the hospital because we are all so beat up, me and Female Slane Clone, that's maybe from the future we are going to win wheelchair races."
"Nahahahahaha."
[static cut]
Flop is walking up to a random car wash in Charlotte, North Carolina. Derrick the Goat follows obediently by his side. He walks up to the man waxing the car.
"I am Daniel LaFlopso and I want your job."
The man looks at him strangely, as Derrick starts getting aggressive.
"Calm, Derrick, no dick-biting today."
The waxing man who coincidentally is wearing a white bandanna with a red sun depicted upon continues to looks at Daniel LaFlopso and Derrick strangely.
"Good Sir, let me explain, I do not want to take your job. I merely wish to do your job to practice the art of patience as my teammate, Future Female Stuart Slane, and we have to fight to gentlemen with the teamwork and chemistry of Holmes and Watson, not the Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly version either - they were terrible by the way. No, these two opponents are Teo Blazekai and Andre Kreese. Nonsensical names aside, sir. I need to learn patience and doing your waxing job will help me."
"I get paid?"
"Sure why not. I'm getting a helicopter."
The waxing cloth is thrown at Daniel LaFlopso, he starts waxing the car.
"Wax on. Wax Off. Patience my friend is the lesson we must move as one even with Stella Slater, the future female clone of Stuart Slane. Together we can overcome the odds that are put in front of us. We will show them that we can the second-best team in CruiserClash history behind The Good Guys. That will be us. Wax on. Wax Off."
"Nahahahahaha."
[static cut]
"I don't want to do Derrick. I feel my methods are not working."
"Nahahahahaha."
"You're right we should go to her house."
[static cut]
"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
Flop looks at Derrick when a girl scout walks up to him selling cookies.
"Maybe Stella isn't home, Derrick."
"Would you like to buy some cookies, sir?"
"What are you?"
"A Girl scout."
"You're real?"
"Yes."
"Wow. I just assumed that girl scouts were just weird clones of boys scouts and we either future things or fake. But girl scouts are real. Maybe Stella Slater isn't Stuart Slane in a dress because he wishes he was a lesbian dinosaur. To that, I must work even harder to help Stella Slater in her endeavours. I will even let her ride my helicopter. We will beat Andre Jenson and Teo Blaze."
"Sir, do you want cookies?"
Flop buys cookies. The girl scout leaves.
"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
"Nahahahahaha."
"Yes, Derrick we will come when Stella is sleeping, that way we will know she is home. I will whisper our winning plan in her ear while she is sleeping, she will come to be us. It'll be like a brain worm."