Post by Sierra Silver on Nov 12, 2020 11:33:21 GMT -5
(OOC: Overslept. Had to just post what I’ve got. RIP)
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Sierra Silver sits on her couch, cuddled up with her boyfriend, Richard McCoy as the couple watch Poltergeist, the first time for Silver.
As she snuggles in closer, Richard looks down at her and smiles. He wonders what’s going on in her head right now… What’s she thinking about?
Meanwhile in the Legion of Doom! I mean- Sierra’s mind… Same diff, really. Anywhale!
Super cool narrator voice. Y’know, like from Twilight Zone?
Sally Hardesty, Laurie Strode, Ellen Ripley, all great examples of final girls. Y’know who ISN’T a good example? One half of the MOST undeserving tag team champions in HISTORY, Karlie Nash! I mean, come on! We all know the sex-pests never survive till the end! They sneak off to do the dirty, the big baddie finds them and, probably offended by such grotesque acts, off them in the most gory ways possible!
I love super crunchy death scenes in movies! Not that I actually want anyone to die, but crunchy murders in movies are dope!!
Man, I kinda want a Crunch bar...
Where was I?
OH YEAH!
Most of these girls, sorry to say, aren’t even the important characters. Their kills come off-camera, or, even worse, get the “dull machete” award for the lamest kill!
Or maybe you’re like Diamond-Spayde-Club-Heart Martinez who thinks she IS the killer! Well if that’s the case, I’m already the final girl because I BEAT HER!!!
Y’know who IS a good example of a final girl? The small, cute one who doesn’t look like they could hurt a fly when they’re really a total bad a-word! Someone like…
Vebbins?
NOPE! I mean someone who does all of that WELL! Her whole “national blank day” schtick is super fun and all, but it’s not gonna save her from a nine-foot-tall dude with a chainsaw and hook hand! No, the last one standing needs to actually present results to back their status up! Sorta like… me!
All of you have had your chances to shine, some of you getting way more than you deserve, but that’s none of my business! Sara, getting plenty of looks for cruiserweight title contention. Heck, Claire has won this match before! And Stella is… there. But for me? Well, I’ve said it a few times now. I don’t get many opportunities. But look at what I’ve done with them. I faced the so-called women’s champ, someone who I should’ve had no shot against. But I beat her with the most devastating finishing move in sports-entertainment history, the Fruit Rol-Up!
It don’t matter if it’s with my partner in crime, Tommy, or my partner in life, Richie! Because I make the most of our tag opportunities too! All Hope is Gone, ‘member them? Me either! Because Tommy and I sent them packing! Aurora Ray and Tsukiko? Richie and I whooped them too!
But just remember to never forget that there is one thing about me that makes me a more worthy final girl than any of you combined…
I actually went up against a real villain. I went toe-to-very large toe with the closest thing to a real-life horror movie antagonist as you can get in Walter. I fought him, I got beaten to a pulp, and used as a human drone, but I faced him. And after all of that? I survived to tell the tale! I am a real-life final girl! Way more than any of you can say!
If I can laugh in Walter’s face and walk away from his beating under my own powers, I sure as HECK can beat a few average janes and walk away with MY women’s championship! So while you ladies are running around playing pretend, for the first time EVER… I’ll be the one taking things super seriously…
GOOD LUCK!!!! Ya girl needs to find herself a Crunch bar! Bye bye!
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Sierra Silver sits on her couch, cuddled up with her boyfriend, Richard McCoy as the couple watch Poltergeist, the first time for Silver.
As she snuggles in closer, Richard looks down at her and smiles. He wonders what’s going on in her head right now… What’s she thinking about?
Meanwhile in the Legion of Doom! I mean- Sierra’s mind… Same diff, really. Anywhale!
Super cool narrator voice. Y’know, like from Twilight Zone?
Sally Hardesty, Laurie Strode, Ellen Ripley, all great examples of final girls. Y’know who ISN’T a good example? One half of the MOST undeserving tag team champions in HISTORY, Karlie Nash! I mean, come on! We all know the sex-pests never survive till the end! They sneak off to do the dirty, the big baddie finds them and, probably offended by such grotesque acts, off them in the most gory ways possible!
I love super crunchy death scenes in movies! Not that I actually want anyone to die, but crunchy murders in movies are dope!!
Man, I kinda want a Crunch bar...
Where was I?
OH YEAH!
Most of these girls, sorry to say, aren’t even the important characters. Their kills come off-camera, or, even worse, get the “dull machete” award for the lamest kill!
Or maybe you’re like Diamond-Spayde-Club-Heart Martinez who thinks she IS the killer! Well if that’s the case, I’m already the final girl because I BEAT HER!!!
Y’know who IS a good example of a final girl? The small, cute one who doesn’t look like they could hurt a fly when they’re really a total bad a-word! Someone like…
Vebbins?
NOPE! I mean someone who does all of that WELL! Her whole “national blank day” schtick is super fun and all, but it’s not gonna save her from a nine-foot-tall dude with a chainsaw and hook hand! No, the last one standing needs to actually present results to back their status up! Sorta like… me!
All of you have had your chances to shine, some of you getting way more than you deserve, but that’s none of my business! Sara, getting plenty of looks for cruiserweight title contention. Heck, Claire has won this match before! And Stella is… there. But for me? Well, I’ve said it a few times now. I don’t get many opportunities. But look at what I’ve done with them. I faced the so-called women’s champ, someone who I should’ve had no shot against. But I beat her with the most devastating finishing move in sports-entertainment history, the Fruit Rol-Up!
It don’t matter if it’s with my partner in crime, Tommy, or my partner in life, Richie! Because I make the most of our tag opportunities too! All Hope is Gone, ‘member them? Me either! Because Tommy and I sent them packing! Aurora Ray and Tsukiko? Richie and I whooped them too!
But just remember to never forget that there is one thing about me that makes me a more worthy final girl than any of you combined…
I actually went up against a real villain. I went toe-to-very large toe with the closest thing to a real-life horror movie antagonist as you can get in Walter. I fought him, I got beaten to a pulp, and used as a human drone, but I faced him. And after all of that? I survived to tell the tale! I am a real-life final girl! Way more than any of you can say!
If I can laugh in Walter’s face and walk away from his beating under my own powers, I sure as HECK can beat a few average janes and walk away with MY women’s championship! So while you ladies are running around playing pretend, for the first time EVER… I’ll be the one taking things super seriously…
GOOD LUCK!!!! Ya girl needs to find herself a Crunch bar! Bye bye!