World Kindness and Sadie Hawkins Day
Nov 12, 2020 6:35:39 GMT -5
Claire Hawkins, James Nightingale, and 2 more like this
Post by Azurine Vebbins on Nov 12, 2020 6:35:39 GMT -5
“Da Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins casually cha-chas into camera frame cradling bouquets of chrysanthemums and erysimums. She bows her head stating short subconscious sentiments about famous figures who’ve passed on. First, she whispers “I’m shaken wid stirred emotions, Doctor Jones” in reference to Sir Sean Connery, mimes buzzing an imaginary answer clicker prior to uttering “Who is da man who helped me feel my knowledge was never in jeopardy?” as tribute to Alex Trebek, and blurts out “Jinkies” in reverence to recently deceased cartoonist Ken Spears. “Da Damsel in Dat Dress” tastefully twirls around the back lawn of the Fillmore a.k.a. The Jackie Gleason Theater in Miami Beach, Florida.
Azurine Vebbins: Kill ‘em wid kindness. Dat’s da common household expression I’m metaphorically tasked to execute dis upcomin’ Friday night. Action Wrestlin’ has booked me and ten different dames in a dread-defyin’, dangerous dance known as da Final Girl Battle Royal for Spayde Martinez’s Women’s Championship. She’s da current, reignin’, and defiant-to-defend titleist intent on slashin’ us all like bargain basement prices. Meanwhile, I refuse bein’ talked down to, broken in, or told I’m knees and ankles below her on da henpeckin’ order. “Da Hardheaded Housewife’s” not gonna follow anyone’s lead who doesn’t leash her halo.
Smartest strategy would involve eliminatin’ dat tramplin’ tool Spayde from dis eerie equation early. However, given all da bad blood boilin’ between brawlin’ broads, who knows if enough entrants can coalesce to clodes-line her carcass first? In fact, early pollin’ posits roughly half of participants shall arrive on da foxtrottin’ scene actin’ like erysimums a.k.a. wallflowers. When provided an outstandin’ odds opportunity, it’s absolutely abhorrent not makin’ an attempt and accept you’re plucked. I brin’ up wallflowers since along wid World Kindness Day, Action Wrestlin’s Dirteen streamin’ broadcast takes place on Sadie Hawkins. In da spirit of dat special sway, I’m makin’ moves and takin’ turns twirlin’ every tootsie off my floor right here at da Fillmore. Bein’ complimentary, da sin’le kindness I’m extendin’ to Martinez two nights from now: jubilantly jostlin’ her via gargoyle suplex. Den again, I could just pull down a top rope when she root beer barrels towards me. Still, I imagine her Medusa mug might turn stone-faced upon fur-der reflection possibly via compact mirror? It’s additionally applicable since she exudes snake-like sensibilities.
Speakin’ of a pretentious py-don who dares none shall tread on her, I’d focus my eccentric energies on Stella Slater second. We did rumba recently on CruiserClash. She pinned my assigned dance partner Kolya. I fully expect Ms. Slater to contemplate ways of presentin’ charms durin’ dis crazy cotillion. However, dat Soud-ern belle’s gonna crack when receivin’ very vulgar dree-digit salutes. Specifically, I suspect Stella loses gumption, increases gam gyration, and drastically disorients herself viewin’ Red, White, and Bruised gesticulate. If she doesn’t consider every contingency, den she’ll end up sandwiched between as a panderin’ pickle.
Now, Karlie Nash and Nikki Vaughn tout demselves as da top tandem since dey became two-timin’ Cruiserweight Tag-Team Champions. Neider nuisance will waltz away Women’s Champion. Bode hy-po-det-i-cally possess an eight ball of Miami-made snow in da corner pocket chance. Even den, it would require Asia-amplified “Heat of da Moment” levels of backstabbin’ sacrifice. Of course knowin’ how dat duo operates, Karlie could convince Nikki it was a “Misunderstandin’” ala Genesis. Professionally, dough, sights should be set on Stella Slater and Sierra Silver since eider represents a credible contendership challenge for deyr Cruiserweight Tag-Team Championships.
Sierra Silver may have discovered R.R.E. Remarkable Richard Energy when teamin’ alongside Richard McCoy, but her stamina’s gonna stagnate when swept into dis soiree. I surmise superkickin’ her sass directly onto da arena lawn. Propellin’ her any fur-der will likely cause chanter collusion as dey catapult her back onto da dance floor. She’s a fine null girl, but not exactly last lass flailin’ like “Da Damsel in Dat Dress” standin’ before you. Similarly, Aurora Ray can’t muster much motivation makin’ her Miss Zero Effort.
Mrs. Vebbins momentarily catches her breath before commenting on the remaining four combatants.
Azurine Vebbins: After directly dumpin’ or indirectly assistin’ in da removal of Aurora Ray, Sierra Silver, Stella Slater, Karlie Nash, Nikki Vaughn, and Spayde Martinez, I would natural turn to Nidrah. She’s arguably one of da few females I can trust durin’ dis tumultuous tussle and da lone lady in Action Wrestlin’ I feel safe bein’ powerbombed by. Yes, she dropped me windpipe first onto da top rope on October 26. Yes, I dropped her wid my patented Pearly Gatekeeper on dat same entertainin’ episode of Monday Night Clash. As much as I admire and respect her acumen, dat bein’ recorded for posterity, she’s not leavin’ da Fillmore as Women’s Champion.
Finally, deyr are dree more dames to discuss: “Hard As Foxtrot” Alice, “Kettle Kitsch” Claire Hawkins, and Sara Pettis. It’s rad-er serendipitous we’re performin’ outside da Jackie Gleason De-a-ter. Why? Shades of Ralph Kramden, one of dese days I planned on sendin’ Alice to da Moon. At least on da Moon her 16.6 repetend percent brain might not feel so heady. I intend to instill an indelible impression on your psyche when promenadin’ you from proverbial pillar to post. As for Claire Hawkins, I believe you’re more heretic dan heroic. I call you “Kettle Kitsch” since all your pitiful plottin’s gone to pot. Den deyr’s Sara Pettis as my free radical of a runner-up. Well, b-flat honest, dat’s da mental makeup I’m applyin’ unless she proves odd-er-wise.
Azurine Vebbins: Kill ‘em wid kindness. Dat’s da common household expression I’m metaphorically tasked to execute dis upcomin’ Friday night. Action Wrestlin’ has booked me and ten different dames in a dread-defyin’, dangerous dance known as da Final Girl Battle Royal for Spayde Martinez’s Women’s Championship. She’s da current, reignin’, and defiant-to-defend titleist intent on slashin’ us all like bargain basement prices. Meanwhile, I refuse bein’ talked down to, broken in, or told I’m knees and ankles below her on da henpeckin’ order. “Da Hardheaded Housewife’s” not gonna follow anyone’s lead who doesn’t leash her halo.
Smartest strategy would involve eliminatin’ dat tramplin’ tool Spayde from dis eerie equation early. However, given all da bad blood boilin’ between brawlin’ broads, who knows if enough entrants can coalesce to clodes-line her carcass first? In fact, early pollin’ posits roughly half of participants shall arrive on da foxtrottin’ scene actin’ like erysimums a.k.a. wallflowers. When provided an outstandin’ odds opportunity, it’s absolutely abhorrent not makin’ an attempt and accept you’re plucked. I brin’ up wallflowers since along wid World Kindness Day, Action Wrestlin’s Dirteen streamin’ broadcast takes place on Sadie Hawkins. In da spirit of dat special sway, I’m makin’ moves and takin’ turns twirlin’ every tootsie off my floor right here at da Fillmore. Bein’ complimentary, da sin’le kindness I’m extendin’ to Martinez two nights from now: jubilantly jostlin’ her via gargoyle suplex. Den again, I could just pull down a top rope when she root beer barrels towards me. Still, I imagine her Medusa mug might turn stone-faced upon fur-der reflection possibly via compact mirror? It’s additionally applicable since she exudes snake-like sensibilities.
Speakin’ of a pretentious py-don who dares none shall tread on her, I’d focus my eccentric energies on Stella Slater second. We did rumba recently on CruiserClash. She pinned my assigned dance partner Kolya. I fully expect Ms. Slater to contemplate ways of presentin’ charms durin’ dis crazy cotillion. However, dat Soud-ern belle’s gonna crack when receivin’ very vulgar dree-digit salutes. Specifically, I suspect Stella loses gumption, increases gam gyration, and drastically disorients herself viewin’ Red, White, and Bruised gesticulate. If she doesn’t consider every contingency, den she’ll end up sandwiched between as a panderin’ pickle.
Now, Karlie Nash and Nikki Vaughn tout demselves as da top tandem since dey became two-timin’ Cruiserweight Tag-Team Champions. Neider nuisance will waltz away Women’s Champion. Bode hy-po-det-i-cally possess an eight ball of Miami-made snow in da corner pocket chance. Even den, it would require Asia-amplified “Heat of da Moment” levels of backstabbin’ sacrifice. Of course knowin’ how dat duo operates, Karlie could convince Nikki it was a “Misunderstandin’” ala Genesis. Professionally, dough, sights should be set on Stella Slater and Sierra Silver since eider represents a credible contendership challenge for deyr Cruiserweight Tag-Team Championships.
Sierra Silver may have discovered R.R.E. Remarkable Richard Energy when teamin’ alongside Richard McCoy, but her stamina’s gonna stagnate when swept into dis soiree. I surmise superkickin’ her sass directly onto da arena lawn. Propellin’ her any fur-der will likely cause chanter collusion as dey catapult her back onto da dance floor. She’s a fine null girl, but not exactly last lass flailin’ like “Da Damsel in Dat Dress” standin’ before you. Similarly, Aurora Ray can’t muster much motivation makin’ her Miss Zero Effort.
Mrs. Vebbins momentarily catches her breath before commenting on the remaining four combatants.
Azurine Vebbins: After directly dumpin’ or indirectly assistin’ in da removal of Aurora Ray, Sierra Silver, Stella Slater, Karlie Nash, Nikki Vaughn, and Spayde Martinez, I would natural turn to Nidrah. She’s arguably one of da few females I can trust durin’ dis tumultuous tussle and da lone lady in Action Wrestlin’ I feel safe bein’ powerbombed by. Yes, she dropped me windpipe first onto da top rope on October 26. Yes, I dropped her wid my patented Pearly Gatekeeper on dat same entertainin’ episode of Monday Night Clash. As much as I admire and respect her acumen, dat bein’ recorded for posterity, she’s not leavin’ da Fillmore as Women’s Champion.
Finally, deyr are dree more dames to discuss: “Hard As Foxtrot” Alice, “Kettle Kitsch” Claire Hawkins, and Sara Pettis. It’s rad-er serendipitous we’re performin’ outside da Jackie Gleason De-a-ter. Why? Shades of Ralph Kramden, one of dese days I planned on sendin’ Alice to da Moon. At least on da Moon her 16.6 repetend percent brain might not feel so heady. I intend to instill an indelible impression on your psyche when promenadin’ you from proverbial pillar to post. As for Claire Hawkins, I believe you’re more heretic dan heroic. I call you “Kettle Kitsch” since all your pitiful plottin’s gone to pot. Den deyr’s Sara Pettis as my free radical of a runner-up. Well, b-flat honest, dat’s da mental makeup I’m applyin’ unless she proves odd-er-wise.