This Is Not a Promo
Nov 8, 2020 21:32:44 GMT -5
“The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley, Addy A, and 3 more like this
Post by Howard Black on Nov 8, 2020 21:32:44 GMT -5
The promo is an interesting part of our industry, isn’t it? And no, this isn’t me leaning on the fourth wall or breaking character (though that was) – I’m talking about the time honored tradition of looking into the camera and yelling about your opponent. I remember being a boy, tuning into the broadcasts of the local territory, watching cartoonishly big men in bright colors screaming until their face turns red and wondering what the point of such an exercise could be. Surely there was no need for dramatics to make for a good fight, yeah? Plenty of times two men have stepped into the ring with absolutely no personal acrimony and gone to war; I’d go so far as to prefer those type of bouts.
When I started on the Indies in Lincoln, the purpose of the promo became more obvious to me: salesmanship. Yelling, screaming, and throwing a temper tantrum gets eyes on you; gets the people hopped up. You can put on five star classics every night, but if a wrestler has a storied career and nobody see it, did it actually happen? That’s why some of the biggest names in our industry may have had little to no athletic acumen but were beloved figures: they had that charisma. Audiences like drama, and they like drama between outlandish personalities – that’s why Tiger King was so successful.
But me? I’m still not crazy about the promo. My work should speak for itself – all the going out and talking to people? It’s all window dressing. I do it because I have to. But this time, I’m not going to bother because this isn’t a promo, Spencer. This is an honest, heart-to-heart discussion.
I’m going this in depth off the bat because you’re the king of the promo. Correct me if I’m wrong, I even seem to remember Joey Flash using you as an example in his thesis on promo anatomy – the “Epic Showdown” guy, right? Talking about how excited you are to get in the ring with someone and what a big match it’s going to be? I’m pretty sure that’s even what you said last time we clashed. So you may have this mistaken impression that because you’re really into cutting promos that I must be doing one too, therefore you don’t have to take to heart what I’m saying.
I know you keep your eyes and ears open, you’ve noticed how I’ve kept your name in my mouth. I’ve talked about you at least twice – about your career, your choices, and my opinions on them. I want you to understand something: I’m not talking behind your back. I just haven’t gotten the chance to tell you to your face. Now? I do. And that’s why I say this is not a promo.
Let me start by putting this as delicately as possible: you are an underachiever who lacks confidence, and its actively harming your career and potential.
But I just can’t stand this anymore. I can’t watch you gallivant around with Ryan Lockhart. I can’t accept that you damn near grabbed that belt from the top of the ladder while I choked out WALTER, and here you are now. That’s now what you were supposed to do. That’s not how this was supposed to go.
But that’s how it went, and in typical Spencer Adams fashion you’ve upset Odin Balfore in the first round. So I assume you think you’re going to actually make a deep run here, yeah? This’ll be Spencer Adams’s second chance to get back in the main event scene as a dark horse candidate?
No. Because in typical Spencer Adams fashion you’re going to eventually choke or get outclassed or maybe even just edged out – and then you’re going to give up again.
If I seem like I’m condescending or belittling your division and championship, you are correct: I am. I understand taking a sabbatical to the Tag Division, and it doesn’t bother me too much. I mean, am I going to belittle Lissie Hope for going to the Tag Division? No. Lissie got a shot of adrenaline to the neck of her career by flirting with the belt before eventually passing the baton to the Man Made Gods. And then? Lissie went back to being a contender. If her house was in order, it’s very possibly Lissie would be the US Champion and have “Trios Tournament Finalist” in her list of accomplishments. I have nothing but respect for Lissie. And Lissie has enough respect for herself to go back to focusing on her own career.
But you had your time in the Tag Division. You had it tagging with Crow as Kill or Cure, and then you shed that to go on your own. Isn’t that what your little transition back to your name was about? A few months ago? When you decided to put down your Crown of Slabs and reclaim your slave name?
And now here we are, no more than a few months removed, and you’re back in a tag team. Record time there, buddy; great effort. So what was this all about?
Do you not realize how pathetic you look? You did great in that chance against WALTER. Losing sucks, I get it; I lost in that match, too. In fact, I lost the match before that, as well: to you. I was on a nice hot little losing streak there between that and the Adlers – I mean, I’ve been swatting accusations of being a perennial loser for a few months now. But I didn’t give up. When Nightingale was given a third chance to humiliate himself against WALTER, I kept my contempt to myself – when Corey Black was decided to be the next in line while I was only good enough to be US Champion, I knuckled under and did the job assigned to me. But I didn’t claim the US Title because I didn’t think I wasn’t good enough for the AW Championship, I claimed it because it fell in my lap. You can cut it any way you like, but I’m not going to intentionally lose a match just because I don’t like the winner’s prize.
But you didn’t just accidentally show up in the Tag Division. You went out of your way to go buddy up with the ghost of Ryan Lockhart. Had a whole name picked out and everything; got a win over the Man Made Gods just for them to shrug and go back to being in the big leagues that same night. Now you’re safe, comfortable, and left behind just as you like it, nestled in the Tag Division where nobody can hurt you.
Would you like to know why you can’t seem to hang in the top of the card? Or anywhere in the singles divisions? Because you’re got a weak stomach. A champion has an iron one; they’ll go to war and come within inches of failure but never – never – lose their resolve. Ash Blake damn near fell to Downfall but did what she had to retain. You’ve got long-term memory; a champion has short term memory. Corey Black lost to you and later that night won the biggest belt in the whole company, essentially invalidating any accomplishment your win entailed. You’ve got the heart of a mouse; a champion has the heart of a lion. I went on a losing streak, found myself the butt of the joke in most matches, and walked out of Clash 100 with the US Championship, found myself in the Finals of the Trios Tournament, and just upset “the AW GOAT”.
Look me in the eye – tell me you could do any of the three things I’ve just accomplished back to back. At Clash 100 I watched Crow step out of your shadow even though ultimately unsuccessful – he had the resolve you lacked to take a failure. You didn’t even enter the Trios Tournament despite having one of the biggest names in the company already on tap and an easy pick of the litter of free agents – because you didn’t want to even consider what would happen if you didn’t show up. And if you stepped in the ring with Lockhart? Well, we know how that’s gone for you.
Frankly? I wasn’t mad when you beat me a few months ago. A loss is a loss, you’re my friend, and I don’t mind a hard-fought match not going my way. You can look at the gold on my shoulder and the reversal of fortunes on my record to see how I’ve been doing since we last got in the ring. But when I look at what you’ve done since? How you squandered your opportunity? Spencer, the only person I’m more embarrassed for than you is myself for losing to you.
I’m rectifying that slip in my record. I’m going to pick you apart the way I should’ve the first time, demonstrating why you caught me on an off-week and squeaked into a match you didn’t belong in. I’m going to conquer the Tag Team Champions in consecutive weeks, and then next week I’ll leave Corey Black going into his next defense with his arm in a sling. I’ve got my eyes all the way on the end of this explicitly because I want to see how flabbergasted everyone is that the guy they’ve hardly bothered with or outright dismissed just topped the company clutching the B-tier belt. Because unlike you, I have the resolve to get to the Finals – I have the resolve to beat Corey Black – I have the talent and determination to do whatever I want, whenever I want, all on my own. My destiny is in my hands, and I don’t need to have a buddy along to hide behind and blame my losses on.
So let’s remind you that your Cinderella story has ended as soon as it began, as far as this tournament is concerned. It was never yours to win, no matter what kind of upset you pulled off in Round One. There’s no second chance at the shot for Spencer Adams: you already had your second shot and threw it away. You’re not James Nightingale – you’re not getting a third. So let’s stop this whole charade and this game you think you’re playing. Just like Etta did a few months ago, I’m going to put you back in your place: back in the Tag Division where you belong with a battered arm, a beaten nerve, and a broken heart.
Prove me wrong, Spencer. Come the fuck at me. Give everything you’ve got so you can come up just slightly short when it matters as you always do. And after I beat you, go drop that sack Lockhart and stand on your own feet. No more chances being offered to you – go earn your keep and name. Because so far? Your career has been a tale of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Then we can go get beers after the shows again.
When I started on the Indies in Lincoln, the purpose of the promo became more obvious to me: salesmanship. Yelling, screaming, and throwing a temper tantrum gets eyes on you; gets the people hopped up. You can put on five star classics every night, but if a wrestler has a storied career and nobody see it, did it actually happen? That’s why some of the biggest names in our industry may have had little to no athletic acumen but were beloved figures: they had that charisma. Audiences like drama, and they like drama between outlandish personalities – that’s why Tiger King was so successful.
But me? I’m still not crazy about the promo. My work should speak for itself – all the going out and talking to people? It’s all window dressing. I do it because I have to. But this time, I’m not going to bother because this isn’t a promo, Spencer. This is an honest, heart-to-heart discussion.
I’m going this in depth off the bat because you’re the king of the promo. Correct me if I’m wrong, I even seem to remember Joey Flash using you as an example in his thesis on promo anatomy – the “Epic Showdown” guy, right? Talking about how excited you are to get in the ring with someone and what a big match it’s going to be? I’m pretty sure that’s even what you said last time we clashed. So you may have this mistaken impression that because you’re really into cutting promos that I must be doing one too, therefore you don’t have to take to heart what I’m saying.
I want you to pay attention. I want you to internalize this and understand every single word of it. Because this is not a promo.
I know you keep your eyes and ears open, you’ve noticed how I’ve kept your name in my mouth. I’ve talked about you at least twice – about your career, your choices, and my opinions on them. I want you to understand something: I’m not talking behind your back. I just haven’t gotten the chance to tell you to your face. Now? I do. And that’s why I say this is not a promo.
Let me start by putting this as delicately as possible: you are an underachiever who lacks confidence, and its actively harming your career and potential.
…Gee, that’s a bit rough even put gently, huh?
But I just can’t stand this anymore. I can’t watch you gallivant around with Ryan Lockhart. I can’t accept that you damn near grabbed that belt from the top of the ladder while I choked out WALTER, and here you are now. That’s now what you were supposed to do. That’s not how this was supposed to go.
But that’s how it went, and in typical Spencer Adams fashion you’ve upset Odin Balfore in the first round. So I assume you think you’re going to actually make a deep run here, yeah? This’ll be Spencer Adams’s second chance to get back in the main event scene as a dark horse candidate?
No. Because in typical Spencer Adams fashion you’re going to eventually choke or get outclassed or maybe even just edged out – and then you’re going to give up again.
If I seem like I’m condescending or belittling your division and championship, you are correct: I am. I understand taking a sabbatical to the Tag Division, and it doesn’t bother me too much. I mean, am I going to belittle Lissie Hope for going to the Tag Division? No. Lissie got a shot of adrenaline to the neck of her career by flirting with the belt before eventually passing the baton to the Man Made Gods. And then? Lissie went back to being a contender. If her house was in order, it’s very possibly Lissie would be the US Champion and have “Trios Tournament Finalist” in her list of accomplishments. I have nothing but respect for Lissie. And Lissie has enough respect for herself to go back to focusing on her own career.
But you had your time in the Tag Division. You had it tagging with Crow as Kill or Cure, and then you shed that to go on your own. Isn’t that what your little transition back to your name was about? A few months ago? When you decided to put down your Crown of Slabs and reclaim your slave name?
And now here we are, no more than a few months removed, and you’re back in a tag team. Record time there, buddy; great effort. So what was this all about?
Do you not realize how pathetic you look? You did great in that chance against WALTER. Losing sucks, I get it; I lost in that match, too. In fact, I lost the match before that, as well: to you. I was on a nice hot little losing streak there between that and the Adlers – I mean, I’ve been swatting accusations of being a perennial loser for a few months now. But I didn’t give up. When Nightingale was given a third chance to humiliate himself against WALTER, I kept my contempt to myself – when Corey Black was decided to be the next in line while I was only good enough to be US Champion, I knuckled under and did the job assigned to me. But I didn’t claim the US Title because I didn’t think I wasn’t good enough for the AW Championship, I claimed it because it fell in my lap. You can cut it any way you like, but I’m not going to intentionally lose a match just because I don’t like the winner’s prize.
But you didn’t just accidentally show up in the Tag Division. You went out of your way to go buddy up with the ghost of Ryan Lockhart. Had a whole name picked out and everything; got a win over the Man Made Gods just for them to shrug and go back to being in the big leagues that same night. Now you’re safe, comfortable, and left behind just as you like it, nestled in the Tag Division where nobody can hurt you.
Spencer, I think you’re a goddamn coward.
Would you like to know why you can’t seem to hang in the top of the card? Or anywhere in the singles divisions? Because you’re got a weak stomach. A champion has an iron one; they’ll go to war and come within inches of failure but never – never – lose their resolve. Ash Blake damn near fell to Downfall but did what she had to retain. You’ve got long-term memory; a champion has short term memory. Corey Black lost to you and later that night won the biggest belt in the whole company, essentially invalidating any accomplishment your win entailed. You’ve got the heart of a mouse; a champion has the heart of a lion. I went on a losing streak, found myself the butt of the joke in most matches, and walked out of Clash 100 with the US Championship, found myself in the Finals of the Trios Tournament, and just upset “the AW GOAT”.
Look me in the eye – tell me you could do any of the three things I’ve just accomplished back to back. At Clash 100 I watched Crow step out of your shadow even though ultimately unsuccessful – he had the resolve you lacked to take a failure. You didn’t even enter the Trios Tournament despite having one of the biggest names in the company already on tap and an easy pick of the litter of free agents – because you didn’t want to even consider what would happen if you didn’t show up. And if you stepped in the ring with Lockhart? Well, we know how that’s gone for you.
Frankly? I wasn’t mad when you beat me a few months ago. A loss is a loss, you’re my friend, and I don’t mind a hard-fought match not going my way. You can look at the gold on my shoulder and the reversal of fortunes on my record to see how I’ve been doing since we last got in the ring. But when I look at what you’ve done since? How you squandered your opportunity? Spencer, the only person I’m more embarrassed for than you is myself for losing to you.
I’m rectifying that slip in my record. I’m going to pick you apart the way I should’ve the first time, demonstrating why you caught me on an off-week and squeaked into a match you didn’t belong in. I’m going to conquer the Tag Team Champions in consecutive weeks, and then next week I’ll leave Corey Black going into his next defense with his arm in a sling. I’ve got my eyes all the way on the end of this explicitly because I want to see how flabbergasted everyone is that the guy they’ve hardly bothered with or outright dismissed just topped the company clutching the B-tier belt. Because unlike you, I have the resolve to get to the Finals – I have the resolve to beat Corey Black – I have the talent and determination to do whatever I want, whenever I want, all on my own. My destiny is in my hands, and I don’t need to have a buddy along to hide behind and blame my losses on.
So let’s remind you that your Cinderella story has ended as soon as it began, as far as this tournament is concerned. It was never yours to win, no matter what kind of upset you pulled off in Round One. There’s no second chance at the shot for Spencer Adams: you already had your second shot and threw it away. You’re not James Nightingale – you’re not getting a third. So let’s stop this whole charade and this game you think you’re playing. Just like Etta did a few months ago, I’m going to put you back in your place: back in the Tag Division where you belong with a battered arm, a beaten nerve, and a broken heart.
Prove me wrong, Spencer. Come the fuck at me. Give everything you’ve got so you can come up just slightly short when it matters as you always do. And after I beat you, go drop that sack Lockhart and stand on your own feet. No more chances being offered to you – go earn your keep and name. Because so far? Your career has been a tale of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Then we can go get beers after the shows again.
This isn’t a promo. This is a reality check. A reality check for an overachiever who underperforms and thinks he's a dark horse.
Congratulations getting so close to the top again. It’s such a long way down.