Post by CAP on Nov 8, 2020 12:06:06 GMT -5
The scene opens on November 4th, with a frightened CAPTAIN ACTION running down the streets of Washington D.C. A wild, angry mob trails quickly behind CAP, as he attempts to elude his pursuers. As the horde of humanity chases down the hapless superhero, they shout random things at the bewildered masked man.
“Fuck off, Trump lover!”
“You're going to fucking lose, you fucking loser!”
“The Right is wrong, you fucking asshole!”
As CAP rounds a corner down an alley, a door on the left flies open, and Action Wrestling star, Sara Pettis, takes a step outside. The CAPTAIN is overjoyed to see a familiar face, and slows down just enough to yell out to her.
CAP: Oh! Tara Pet-tits, please! I need...your help!!
Sara quickly reacts.
Sara: Get in here!
Pettis motions the CAPTAIN over to the still open door that she had just exited. CAP ducks inside under her, just in time for Sara to slam the door shut, before the throng of raging citizens is able to figure out where their prey went.
Sara: CAP, what the hell was that all about?!
The red wrestler takes a few to catch his breath.
CAP: I...I just see that people were up on stage talking. I decide to tell them that even though I been losing lately, that I not going to give up on winning!
Sara: ...What exactly did you say to them then?
The CAPTAIN stands straight up again, after having been hunched over, still trying to get air back into his lungs.
CAP: I tell them...that even though we losing right now, I not going to give up!... We going to be GREAT AGAIN!
Pettis has an inquisitive look form on her face.
Sara: Were there any people in this group holding up signs or anything that you noticed?
CAPTAIN rubs his chin, as he attempts to recall the scene before the chaos.
CAP: I do! Lots of people holding up signs that say “Blaziken 2020”, I think. I not understand why they such big fan of that Pokemon, he cool... but they REALLY like him!”
Sara hides her face in her hand, shaking her head back and forth.
Sara: CAP, what the hell, man? Those signs said “Biden 2020”! You didn't see a problem yelling what you did at THAT group of people, wearing what you're wearing, with what's going on in America right now?
CAP scratches the top of his head.
CAP: I not understand... What going on in America right now?
Pettis stares at the red masked man, dumbfounded at the question just asked.
Sara: ...The United States just had one of the biggest elections in the history of the country yesterday...Did you really not realize this?
The CAPTAIN'S eyes go wide as he finally understands the gravity of the situation.
CAP: Oops, my bad.
Sara can only laugh and slap CAP on the back as he comes to grips with what happened.
Sara: Well it's a good thing I found you before that mob ripped you limb from limb. Because guess what? You and I have a match together here this next Monday.
CAP nods his head in acknowledgment.
CAP: You right! It going to be weird not teaming with Jims, but I know me and you can be good enough team to beat BJ Phonics and Leo Vajin!
Pettis chuckles at the red superhero's enthusiasm.
Sara: I'm sure we can, but neither of these guys are pushovers. We need to be ready or anything.
The CAPTAIN gives his new partner a thumbs up.
CAP: You bet! I know they both bouncy, flying around guys. They like to move fast!
Sara puts a hand on CAP'S shoulder, proud of him for actually making a useful observation.
Sara: That's right, CAP. And you know what quick wrestlers are quick to do? Make mistakes.
Pettis brings her face close to the CAPTAIN'S, intensity burning in her eyes.
Sara: I need you to be ready to capitalize on that mistake. When you see an opportunity, you do WHATEVER it takes to win. Got it?
The red wrestler stares back at his partner, his confidence unwavering.
CAP: Got it... BANZAI!
“Fuck off, Trump lover!”
“You're going to fucking lose, you fucking loser!”
“The Right is wrong, you fucking asshole!”
As CAP rounds a corner down an alley, a door on the left flies open, and Action Wrestling star, Sara Pettis, takes a step outside. The CAPTAIN is overjoyed to see a familiar face, and slows down just enough to yell out to her.
CAP: Oh! Tara Pet-tits, please! I need...your help!!
Sara quickly reacts.
Sara: Get in here!
Pettis motions the CAPTAIN over to the still open door that she had just exited. CAP ducks inside under her, just in time for Sara to slam the door shut, before the throng of raging citizens is able to figure out where their prey went.
Sara: CAP, what the hell was that all about?!
The red wrestler takes a few to catch his breath.
CAP: I...I just see that people were up on stage talking. I decide to tell them that even though I been losing lately, that I not going to give up on winning!
Sara: ...What exactly did you say to them then?
The CAPTAIN stands straight up again, after having been hunched over, still trying to get air back into his lungs.
CAP: I tell them...that even though we losing right now, I not going to give up!... We going to be GREAT AGAIN!
Pettis has an inquisitive look form on her face.
Sara: Were there any people in this group holding up signs or anything that you noticed?
CAPTAIN rubs his chin, as he attempts to recall the scene before the chaos.
CAP: I do! Lots of people holding up signs that say “Blaziken 2020”, I think. I not understand why they such big fan of that Pokemon, he cool... but they REALLY like him!”
Sara hides her face in her hand, shaking her head back and forth.
Sara: CAP, what the hell, man? Those signs said “Biden 2020”! You didn't see a problem yelling what you did at THAT group of people, wearing what you're wearing, with what's going on in America right now?
CAP scratches the top of his head.
CAP: I not understand... What going on in America right now?
Pettis stares at the red masked man, dumbfounded at the question just asked.
Sara: ...The United States just had one of the biggest elections in the history of the country yesterday...Did you really not realize this?
The CAPTAIN'S eyes go wide as he finally understands the gravity of the situation.
CAP: Oops, my bad.
Sara can only laugh and slap CAP on the back as he comes to grips with what happened.
Sara: Well it's a good thing I found you before that mob ripped you limb from limb. Because guess what? You and I have a match together here this next Monday.
CAP nods his head in acknowledgment.
CAP: You right! It going to be weird not teaming with Jims, but I know me and you can be good enough team to beat BJ Phonics and Leo Vajin!
Pettis chuckles at the red superhero's enthusiasm.
Sara: I'm sure we can, but neither of these guys are pushovers. We need to be ready or anything.
The CAPTAIN gives his new partner a thumbs up.
CAP: You bet! I know they both bouncy, flying around guys. They like to move fast!
Sara puts a hand on CAP'S shoulder, proud of him for actually making a useful observation.
Sara: That's right, CAP. And you know what quick wrestlers are quick to do? Make mistakes.
Pettis brings her face close to the CAPTAIN'S, intensity burning in her eyes.
Sara: I need you to be ready to capitalize on that mistake. When you see an opportunity, you do WHATEVER it takes to win. Got it?
The red wrestler stares back at his partner, his confidence unwavering.
CAP: Got it... BANZAI!