Only One Freedom for Azzurine and Kolya.
Nov 7, 2020 22:31:04 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2020 22:31:04 GMT -5
Stella stood tall on a balcony of the National Mall located in Washington, D.C., with the Capitol Building looming in the background. She had in her possession a world globe like the one found in school classrooms.
”CrusierClash falls on November, 9th, which one of my opponents, Azurine Vebbins, will spam you to death about it being World Freedom Day. It’s the most overrated day of observance, since even the land of the free isn’t free.”
She pointed to a sign that read “MASK REQUIRED”. She wasn’t wearing one. Passerbys refused to confront the giantess as she spun the globe on her fingertip like a basketball.
”Isn’t it ironic that my other opponent, Kolya, came from far away Russia to live the American Dream only to find out the reason it’s called the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. It's awful that you came here during this era, Kolya. Convicted pedophiles can become Governors. Child rapists can dress in drag and read stories to children in public libraries. Boy Scouts can be Girl Scouts. “
Stella’s facial tic flashed for a moment on that one.
”Presidential candidates can show signs of early onset dementia and Alzheimer's and still win the Presidency with phantom mail in ballots. And you, Kolya, can have all the athleticism and wrestling pedigree in the world but still lose to Jim Mud, who spends his free time adjusting the cinder blocks on his home in the trailer park. It’s a shame isn’t it? It’s just not fair for you to work so hard and get so little.”
Her plexpression soured.
”It’s even more unfair that you’re saddled with Azurine Vebbins as your partner. She’s a hell of a scrapper. That gal can flat out go. In a one on one she would be a nightmare straight out of hades for me. As a teammate though? How’s that gonna work, hon? You’re from Russia and can’t speak English all that well. Azurine is from California, which is the doo-doo poon of America, but speaks her own non-documented language. How are you two gonna communicate? I know the same can probably be said about my partner, Flop. He’s an odd gentleman who often speaks in randoms and riddles, but at least he speaks English and is intelligible.”
She brought the spinning globe to a stop and held it betwixt her palms.
”If Flop was here right now, he’d start singing ‘She’s Got the Whole World in Her Hands’ and he’d be correct because the whole world is in my hands. Well, kinda. Physically, yes, this globe is the world and it’s in my hands, but figuratively I mean sure? Yeah? No? I’m not Flop so I don’t know. I’m so confused right now. Wait, am I channeling Flop? Shouldn’t I be channeling Stuart Slane? That’s the big conspiracy right now, that you, Flop, are not helping to ease with your assertions that I’m Stuart Slane in drag or that I’m a *chokes back vomit* penis-less Stuart Slane.”
Her hardened plexpression gave little repeal to her proclamations of being nothing like Stuart Slane in any way, shape, or form.
”I should wring your little neck for that, but I’m a honorable woman and won’t stoop to those levels. I will say that you shouldn’t be casting stones at me when you can’t even land the easiest split-tail outside of Adelaide Ainsworth in lil’ Sierra Silver. And the way you’ve been buttering Azurine’s biscuit recently doesn’t sit well with me either. I swear if you make eyes at Azurine during the match I’ll turn her face to pulp so she won’t be so adorable anymore. What do you see in these girls anyway, hon? They ain’t got any milk in the mammories.”
She crushed the globe in her palms.
”Azurine and Kolya, World Freedom Day is a fallacy. The only freedom you’ll experience that day is me freeing you from your consciousness with a Dawnbreaker for the 1-2-3.”
Three symbolic fingers.
”Scouts Honor.”
Since the Flop/Stella team mascot is a Goat, Stella made a mascot for Team No Speak Kolya/Azurine.