I’m the funky man and I’m coming... to get down (635 words)
Nov 7, 2020 20:45:28 GMT -5
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Stuart Slane likes this
Post by Fredrick The Funk Whitmer on Nov 7, 2020 20:45:28 GMT -5
Get down.. get down.. get down.. get down...
-kool N the gang...jungle boogie. A song that the funk always uses to get the party started and it’s also excellent to dance to.
A man begins to speak in a smooth voice.
“You know cats and kittens. Boys and girls .. little children all around this nation. The funk is about to rise up and be the hero you need. In this world full of people who just don’t understand. See The Funk is gonna make sure that those people won’t break anyone’s stride. They’ve pushed me close to the edge and I’m trying not to lose my head. It’s like a jungle sometime and makes me wonder. How I keep from going under.”
A voice sounding like shaft or apollo creed. You know those cool guys from the grooviest decades around. The funk will make no excuses for losing the last two matches. The Funk’s head wasn’t in the game. See with a new found confidence the funk will bounce back this week.
“Let the funky one make one thing crystal clear for both you jive turkeys.”
The funk said dressed in a tie dyed fur coat and tie dyed ring attire. Along with some really awesome sun glasses and a really cool slick Rick esk hat on his head. He looks into the camera and smirks as a gold tooth can be seen.
“The Funk is coming to win this match. See you may have athletism but the funk has more in his pinky. Which by the way is covered by this cool looking platinum iced out ring.”
The funk flashes the ring as some cool issac Hayes super fly style music plays in the background while he speak.
“You ain’t about to bring down my swag. Y’all are nothing more than cronies sent by the man to take away my chance at the gold. Actually scratch that at my chance at getting sweet Matilda around my waist. Yeah I am so cool and funkadelic I named the crusierweight title after a foxy model that I met at tha club this past weekend. The party was a happening place where all the coolest cats chill and enjoy the vibe of the scene. You ain’t about to bring me down. I’ll straight pimp slap you fools with both my hands.”
The funk lowers his glasses and walks with his cool looking pimp cane. He looks into the camera..
“I pity the fool who dares to think they have a pray in facing the funk and surviving. I’ve beat an alligator and wrestled a whale. I handcuffed thunder and threw lightning in jail. I’m swift, quick and more agile and I get the chicks. Miss Richardson drop that zero and get with this hero. See you cats on monday night because you can’t stop the funk and if you got a problem or worry blame it on the boogie.”
The funk starts to break dance as music plays in the background. It’s that really cool theme from Beverly Hills Cop with Eddie Murphy. The funk stops and jumps up. He then dances over and super kicks a guy. All of a sudden he’s doing some hip hop keedo.. a martial arts style made famous by that cool black power ranger in the 90s. He dances a does a booker T jumping side kick. He continues to break dance. He stops poses and snaps his fingers. He looks into the camera
“Just like that.. you will lose but don’t let it bring you down. I’m coming to get down and have my pimp hand raised. Meanwhile you two walk away feeling salty. No worries but if you must blame it on something blame it on the boogie.”
The funk walks off as the scene fades to black.
-kool N the gang...jungle boogie. A song that the funk always uses to get the party started and it’s also excellent to dance to.
A man begins to speak in a smooth voice.
“You know cats and kittens. Boys and girls .. little children all around this nation. The funk is about to rise up and be the hero you need. In this world full of people who just don’t understand. See The Funk is gonna make sure that those people won’t break anyone’s stride. They’ve pushed me close to the edge and I’m trying not to lose my head. It’s like a jungle sometime and makes me wonder. How I keep from going under.”
A voice sounding like shaft or apollo creed. You know those cool guys from the grooviest decades around. The funk will make no excuses for losing the last two matches. The Funk’s head wasn’t in the game. See with a new found confidence the funk will bounce back this week.
“Let the funky one make one thing crystal clear for both you jive turkeys.”
The funk said dressed in a tie dyed fur coat and tie dyed ring attire. Along with some really awesome sun glasses and a really cool slick Rick esk hat on his head. He looks into the camera and smirks as a gold tooth can be seen.
“The Funk is coming to win this match. See you may have athletism but the funk has more in his pinky. Which by the way is covered by this cool looking platinum iced out ring.”
The funk flashes the ring as some cool issac Hayes super fly style music plays in the background while he speak.
“You ain’t about to bring down my swag. Y’all are nothing more than cronies sent by the man to take away my chance at the gold. Actually scratch that at my chance at getting sweet Matilda around my waist. Yeah I am so cool and funkadelic I named the crusierweight title after a foxy model that I met at tha club this past weekend. The party was a happening place where all the coolest cats chill and enjoy the vibe of the scene. You ain’t about to bring me down. I’ll straight pimp slap you fools with both my hands.”
The funk lowers his glasses and walks with his cool looking pimp cane. He looks into the camera..
“I pity the fool who dares to think they have a pray in facing the funk and surviving. I’ve beat an alligator and wrestled a whale. I handcuffed thunder and threw lightning in jail. I’m swift, quick and more agile and I get the chicks. Miss Richardson drop that zero and get with this hero. See you cats on monday night because you can’t stop the funk and if you got a problem or worry blame it on the boogie.”
The funk starts to break dance as music plays in the background. It’s that really cool theme from Beverly Hills Cop with Eddie Murphy. The funk stops and jumps up. He then dances over and super kicks a guy. All of a sudden he’s doing some hip hop keedo.. a martial arts style made famous by that cool black power ranger in the 90s. He dances a does a booker T jumping side kick. He continues to break dance. He stops poses and snaps his fingers. He looks into the camera
“Just like that.. you will lose but don’t let it bring you down. I’m coming to get down and have my pimp hand raised. Meanwhile you two walk away feeling salty. No worries but if you must blame it on something blame it on the boogie.”
The funk walks off as the scene fades to black.