Spanish for 'Suplex' is 'Suplex'
Oct 13, 2020 8:12:59 GMT -5
“The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley, CJ Phoenix, and 4 more like this
Post by Trey Bouchet on Oct 13, 2020 8:12:59 GMT -5
“I’m just glad Guy Fieri’s ok.”
Trey Bouchet is back, with new merch: a “Deus Plex Machina” tee bearing the blue and gold colors of Action Wrestling.
“It looked touch and go there for a second; the flags in Flavortown were likely preemptively lowered to half-staff, but it appears the Las Vegas CSI teams aren’t quite the forensic plexperts television would have us believe. Guy did not die; he was merely resting in a puddle of his own spaghetti sauce. This news likely doesn’t help the poor sap who bought the kitchen knife that Oblivion supposedly used to do the deed; Orret seems like the kind of guy to have a ‘all sales are final’ clause on his stock. I don’t feel too sorry for them; the whole Murderabilia market is just gross, you know; especially when you’re investing on an item that might have snuffed out a national treasure like 'Mr. Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives' himself.”
“Guy Fieri gets a lot of flack: the frosted tips, the oddly placed sunglasses, the over-the-top menu that food snobs turn their noses up at. He’s got that whole douchebag dude bro carny aesthetic going on, yeah. But he’s also supposedly a hell of a guy who’s raised a shitload of money for charity. That means more to me than having a tacky taste in food and looking like, and I’m putting this in quotes because I cribbed it off the Internet: “an anthropomorphised Smash Mouth song.” (1)
Trey does indeed do the air quotes gesture, albeit embarrassedly, as he’s aware he’s revealing a bit of his own Fieriness with that pantomime.
“I unabashedly love Guy Fieri, he’s out there, making towns, hyping himself up to a degree PT Barnum would blush at, and partaking in and pushing a product most of the elites in this country see as garbage not fit for consumption.”
Dramatic pause for effect.
“Sound familiar, fellow workers?”
Bam! There’s your match relevance! (?)
“I am Guy Fieri. You are Guy Fieri. This whole damn business is Guy Fieri. And that, to quote the man himself- is the real deal.”
“Even Teo Blaze is Guy Fieri, though kind of a nasty dark reflection of him. I mean, doesn’t he come off as bitter to you? Always yelling! Always talking about how much he’s bled and sacrificed for this sport and you damn well better honor him for it!!”
Trey’s plexpression softens.
“I mean I get it. Everybody hurts, right? Wrestling is a gravel crusher. It chews you up and spits you out without much remorse. If you’re lucky, you get a shot at a title. If you’re good, you might win one. If you’re great, you win a bunch.”
“Teo Blaze is great. One of the best ever. And still he is constantly working to reinvent himself, make himself ‘better’, and for that he’s a credit to this profession.”
“But I got to wonder if all that success makes him happy. Teo seems like a person who wears his heart on his sleeve, who feels every turn of that grinder, and suffers greatly because of it.”
“I don’t want to be like that. I want to be like Guy. Goofy yes; complacent, maybe; but definitely comfortable in my own skin. Teo, and a lot of these guys who are at the top of the Action card; man, I don’t know how they can be. So much anger and wrath. You look at the Champions and see a bunch of pissed off white guys and you’d think it’s 2016 still. You got Kaz and Skrue here in CruiserClash and ok Yurei too but she’s always going to be an plexception. Over on Clash there’s Lockhart and Lowe and even Howard Black now kind of. I probably shouldn’t be passing judgment especially since I’m dragging people who are clearly at the top of their game, but I have to figure it’s draining to be them; to constantly carry that chip on their shoulder, daring people to try and knock it off to justify how resentful they are. I know I couldn’t do it.”
“I have cause to carry my own chip. Last night I came within an eyelash of earning the title King of Clash 100. The crown slipped through my fingers thanks to a knee to the side of my head courtesy of Teo. Now, Blaze and me are booked to face off at Trios in a Mexico City Street Fight. It’s a chance for payback, and maybe if I win a chance to move up the card.”
“But do you know what I really hope I get the chance to see?”
“Teo Del Sol.”
“That’s the Teo I know best and remember most fondly. The guy who you know is smiling under that mask even as he’s being suplexed through a flaming table, which I’m more than willing to do to win this match, by the way. Don’t confuse me being sentimental with me being soft. I still want to win. I’m still going to win. I’d just like to do it against one of my heroes.”
“I know the odds of this are pretty low. Teo’s on record saying that part of his life is behind him. And some people are going to kvetch that the whole del Sol persona is, ahm, problematic, and call it an plexample of cultural appropriation. I guess I can’t fault him or those hypothetical critics for feeling those ways.”
“Still, I think most of the fans would be cool with it. I know Lucha in Mexico is sometimes described as a religion, but the Teo del Sol persona never struck me as sacrilege; if anything he’s a convert! I think most would understand, and embrace the moment, if just to be able to say they saw The Sun shine once more. I know that’s my take on it.”
“It would be, as my guy Fieri would say, gangsta.”
(1)https://junkee.com/guy-fieri-meme-to-hero-charity-coronavirus/253484
Trey Bouchet is back, with new merch: a “Deus Plex Machina” tee bearing the blue and gold colors of Action Wrestling.
“It looked touch and go there for a second; the flags in Flavortown were likely preemptively lowered to half-staff, but it appears the Las Vegas CSI teams aren’t quite the forensic plexperts television would have us believe. Guy did not die; he was merely resting in a puddle of his own spaghetti sauce. This news likely doesn’t help the poor sap who bought the kitchen knife that Oblivion supposedly used to do the deed; Orret seems like the kind of guy to have a ‘all sales are final’ clause on his stock. I don’t feel too sorry for them; the whole Murderabilia market is just gross, you know; especially when you’re investing on an item that might have snuffed out a national treasure like 'Mr. Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives' himself.”
“Guy Fieri gets a lot of flack: the frosted tips, the oddly placed sunglasses, the over-the-top menu that food snobs turn their noses up at. He’s got that whole douchebag dude bro carny aesthetic going on, yeah. But he’s also supposedly a hell of a guy who’s raised a shitload of money for charity. That means more to me than having a tacky taste in food and looking like, and I’m putting this in quotes because I cribbed it off the Internet: “an anthropomorphised Smash Mouth song.” (1)
Trey does indeed do the air quotes gesture, albeit embarrassedly, as he’s aware he’s revealing a bit of his own Fieriness with that pantomime.
“I unabashedly love Guy Fieri, he’s out there, making towns, hyping himself up to a degree PT Barnum would blush at, and partaking in and pushing a product most of the elites in this country see as garbage not fit for consumption.”
Dramatic pause for effect.
“Sound familiar, fellow workers?”
Bam! There’s your match relevance! (?)
“I am Guy Fieri. You are Guy Fieri. This whole damn business is Guy Fieri. And that, to quote the man himself- is the real deal.”
“Even Teo Blaze is Guy Fieri, though kind of a nasty dark reflection of him. I mean, doesn’t he come off as bitter to you? Always yelling! Always talking about how much he’s bled and sacrificed for this sport and you damn well better honor him for it!!”
Trey’s plexpression softens.
“I mean I get it. Everybody hurts, right? Wrestling is a gravel crusher. It chews you up and spits you out without much remorse. If you’re lucky, you get a shot at a title. If you’re good, you might win one. If you’re great, you win a bunch.”
“Teo Blaze is great. One of the best ever. And still he is constantly working to reinvent himself, make himself ‘better’, and for that he’s a credit to this profession.”
“But I got to wonder if all that success makes him happy. Teo seems like a person who wears his heart on his sleeve, who feels every turn of that grinder, and suffers greatly because of it.”
“I don’t want to be like that. I want to be like Guy. Goofy yes; complacent, maybe; but definitely comfortable in my own skin. Teo, and a lot of these guys who are at the top of the Action card; man, I don’t know how they can be. So much anger and wrath. You look at the Champions and see a bunch of pissed off white guys and you’d think it’s 2016 still. You got Kaz and Skrue here in CruiserClash and ok Yurei too but she’s always going to be an plexception. Over on Clash there’s Lockhart and Lowe and even Howard Black now kind of. I probably shouldn’t be passing judgment especially since I’m dragging people who are clearly at the top of their game, but I have to figure it’s draining to be them; to constantly carry that chip on their shoulder, daring people to try and knock it off to justify how resentful they are. I know I couldn’t do it.”
“I have cause to carry my own chip. Last night I came within an eyelash of earning the title King of Clash 100. The crown slipped through my fingers thanks to a knee to the side of my head courtesy of Teo. Now, Blaze and me are booked to face off at Trios in a Mexico City Street Fight. It’s a chance for payback, and maybe if I win a chance to move up the card.”
“But do you know what I really hope I get the chance to see?”
“Teo Del Sol.”
“That’s the Teo I know best and remember most fondly. The guy who you know is smiling under that mask even as he’s being suplexed through a flaming table, which I’m more than willing to do to win this match, by the way. Don’t confuse me being sentimental with me being soft. I still want to win. I’m still going to win. I’d just like to do it against one of my heroes.”
“I know the odds of this are pretty low. Teo’s on record saying that part of his life is behind him. And some people are going to kvetch that the whole del Sol persona is, ahm, problematic, and call it an plexample of cultural appropriation. I guess I can’t fault him or those hypothetical critics for feeling those ways.”
“Still, I think most of the fans would be cool with it. I know Lucha in Mexico is sometimes described as a religion, but the Teo del Sol persona never struck me as sacrilege; if anything he’s a convert! I think most would understand, and embrace the moment, if just to be able to say they saw The Sun shine once more. I know that’s my take on it.”
“It would be, as my guy Fieri would say, gangsta.”
(1)https://junkee.com/guy-fieri-meme-to-hero-charity-coronavirus/253484