Post by Cassidy Adler on Jul 26, 2020 21:45:16 GMT -5
Open to an interview with Cassidy, where he is situated in an isolated position on a maroon leather couch with a microphone on a small stand in front of him. His legs are stretched out, one foot atop the other, his white dress shirt’s top two buttons undone while he dusts off the black sports jacket he had brought out for the occasion. An off-screen voice echoes out now, while Cassidy pulls out a lighter from his pocket and puts flame to the cigarette he has held between his index and middle fingers.
‘How do you feel after your tag-title loss?’
A scoff from the disgraced former champion, who then took a drag from his cigarette, allowing the smoke to slowly escape from his lips as he seemed to gather his thoughts.
‘I’d be lying if I said I gave a shit. Even before the belt I was that fuckin’ boy, know what I mean? Everyone knew us and everyone hated us because we could do the shit effortlessly that they had to struggle with. It’s like all those damn virgins on reddit who probably cry into their cum-crusted tissues and make posts about how I’m such a “Chad” and how “I’m an asshole” and ask questions like “Why do nice guys always finish last?”
He shook his head in disbelief.
‘Fuckin’ faggots. But yeah, long story short… who gives a fuck about the belts? We snagged that shit for fun. To piss off management. The fans. Spence and Crow who take themselves SO goddamn seriously like this shit actually matters. This is their legacy. Without belts those guys are fuckin’ nothing, lost in the ether and forgotten about. Olive and I could win one match a year against absolute jobbers like Lissie and Adele or whatever and we’d still be the names on everyone’s lips. Spence goes three more months without a belt? He’d get cut, plain and simple. No name recognition, no respect from his peers or the fans. Just a dude who got lucky once and has been bang average ever since.
‘Now think about it for a second… and I’m describing Spencer Adams… or Howard Black? If I didn’t tell you previously, you probably wouldn’t have been able to explain the difference, right? Both glorified fuckin’ journeyman with the personality of cardboard cutouts, their only notable trait being “moral compasses” like that’s supposed to mean something? Let’s do something for fun. 5 fun facts about Howard Black.
‘I’ve competed without being nearly as much of a tryhard as that fuckin’ scrub, and already our careers have taken wildly different paths.
‘The Alpha Chad Cassidy: Dominated the tag-team division for LOLs. Has had the bosses of an entire company underneath his thumb for the last month. Has made Lissie Hope cry. Has had sex with a championship belt on at leas tonce.
‘The Beta Cuck Howie: Won his only notable belt in a bootleg federation. Had his arm broken by John Flash or something. Is respected for being a family man. Is old. Often gets excited oldheads running up to him with Nokia's saying "oh my gosh man it's my favorite wrestler Roy Speede."
‘There’s no comparison between us. Juice WRLD once said “All the legends seem to die out” and… I don’t even know why I’m bringing this up, because the people who think Howard Black comes even close to the definition of a legend are either autistic or have the ring name “Torture”. Kind of the same thing, no?
‘But give it a second, let’s take this shit slow. I got time to murder these fools.’
He put the cigarette to his lips once more, eyes wandering away from the camera pointed at him as the interview cut momentarily.
PINNACLE FILMS EXECUTIVE DAUGHTER GOES ROGUE
FRANCIS ADLER UNDER FIRE BY MENTAL HEALTH ORGANIZATIONS
SECRETS SPILLED: INTERNET PERSONALITY AND ACTION WRESTLING SUPERSTAR DROPS BOMBSHELL
Random clips from YouTube, Twitch and Facebook all begin playing, cut into one big compilation.
‘This just shows how far mental health issues can go if left unchecked and uncared for. Guys, if you’re ever having issues or feel alone, you have people who are willing to listen and help.’
‘Did you see the footage that came out about that speech from that Twitch girl last weekend? That shit was crazy man. She full went in on her Dad when the event was hosted because he was meant to be a really great guy. Wild.’
‘As a woman, it’s a little bit disappointing to see that that’s how she had been feeling the entire time. You can tell they put the weight of the world on her shoulders and she just couldn’t handle it. Her twin brother didn’t even bother to show public support or even mild concern for her, either. He just ran off and hasn’t made a public statement since. What’s up with that?’
‘That family is all sorts of fucked up, dude. You know there’s rumors her and her twin brother were fucking?’
‘I remember it being huge news when their older brother was reported dead. He was meant to be a big deal in the film world from what I heard. The fact they basically deleted him from the world for how many years? Now that’s gonna be turned into a documentary for sure.’
‘You just gotta think… what’s next for the Adler twins, though? They’re out of contract with Action Wrestling and apparently aren’t interested in renegotiating unless they get ridiculous demands met. As much as people hate to admit it, they’re two of the biggest stars over there. Everybody roasts Cassidy for being the “worse” twin and they still used his marketability and star power to make an entire full-budget video game about him? That just tells you they got something special in those two.’
‘I”m predicting they’ll be back… and quick. Olivia is practically excommunicated from the family after that stunt, I’d imagine. And with that, all her opportunities of actually making it in film. As for Cassidy? Hopefully he’s got enough integrity about him to actually stand with his sister and show some support. Having them in Action Wrestling is a net positive no matter which way you look at it.’
We return back to the interview, Cassidy now spread out on the couch, hardly focused at all on the camera pointed at him as he speaks.
‘Having Torture show up and simp for us is kinda like the cherry on top of this whole situation, ain’t it? We cucked his entire federation and now he feels like he’s gotta come out and do the heavy lifting. The only thing is… every time he’s felt the need to do that, he’s gotten slapped the fuck up. #ReachKrew. Grubdigger and some guy called Likken Cuckly or some shit? I’m not one-hundred percent sure about the last one, but one of my subscribers from my chat said he beat you as well, so I guess I’ll take his word about it.
‘These are all fuckin’ plebs that you’ve lost to. I legit beat Gravedigger with ease a couple months ago with an anchor of a partner in Teo, whose only recognizable bit of marketing is those dumb glasses he wears that I would make look way better than what they are. Did you know they’re from China? I know, shocker.
‘But back to the important matter of your incompetence, papa Tort. You can’t do anything right, can you? Your whole time spent as an owner has been failure after repeated failure. Your roster turnover is insane. People drop like flies. Respected “legends” of the business cuck you at every corner to go run coffee shops or spend time with their shitty kids that they don’t even really like because you got nothing to offer them except poorly run shows. For years you’ve had issues with security and actually running a tight ship, and we just exposed that shit over the last month.
‘We’ve been living in AW rent free for the last month, and now you’re deciding to capitulate to our ridiculous demands just because we beat your faggot son and some nerd from Nebraska. Did you like that word, by the way? Cah-pi-chu-late. Yeah, I read. Not too often though, that’s for fuckin’ losers.
‘But let’s be real for a second, dude. Rehiring us was the best and arguably the only good contract you’ve ever dolled out. Your track record is fuckin’ ass and that’s putting it lightly. Your entire history of general managers here have been failed, shitty ex-wrestlers who have done terrible jobs of getting the ratings up. You see the correlation between “Adler twins” and “record breaking numbers” and you fuckin’ leaped at the opportunity to resign us. Slobbing all over my cock like the sad pussboi that you are. You thought Digger and those beach boys with questionable sexualities made you look bad? I’ll hit you with the sugondese and make you reevaluate all your life choices after I’m done embarrassing your entire “legacy”.
‘Saying you don’t got it no more is an understatement. I could raise my great grandfather from the dead and he’d give you a run for your money. Your attempts at self-deprecating humor are about as funny as a Danny DiVeto drug overdose and your attempts at wrestling are nothing short of a showcase of what it looks like when someone with multiple sclerosis shows some bravery and enters the squared circle.
‘I’d say you’re dragging Howie down, but the dude is just as fuckin’ incompetent as you. Spent his whole life being a “technician” and “a grinder who worked harder than anyone else” and still was only capable of entering the business at 30+. Meanwhile my only experience required was fuckin’ up the school geeks who played D&D and traded Yugioh cards while they jerked each other off. The gulf between our natural talents is kinda sad if I’m being honest. You’re the little stocky man with the ugly wife he had to settle for and a body with no genetic potential. I’m the guy you dreamed of pulling every girl he even has a slight desire for, and the chiseled body of a literal God.
‘Your only saving grace is that you’re “relatable” and “respectable.” These are the terms people use to describe people they want to like and support but know deep down are bottom dwelling fuckin’ scrubs who are gonna get picked apart on live television by… yours truly.
‘You’re welcome, Howard! While the start of your retirement tour was underwhelming to say the least, we’re about to make up for that by giving you the night of your life. After you’re done, Howie? It’s gonna suck, man. Everyone’s gonna forget about you and the minor ripples you made through the wrestling world. But don’t worry. We aren’t gonna forget. We never will.
‘Much love you ugly midget.’
I have something to tell you. Can I call?
uhh not rlly im kinda in the middle of something
It’s important.
bro no
Seriously? Fuck you, Cass.
just tll me on hree
Frank’s back.
gimme a sec im gonna call u
‘How do you feel after your tag-title loss?’
A scoff from the disgraced former champion, who then took a drag from his cigarette, allowing the smoke to slowly escape from his lips as he seemed to gather his thoughts.
‘I’d be lying if I said I gave a shit. Even before the belt I was that fuckin’ boy, know what I mean? Everyone knew us and everyone hated us because we could do the shit effortlessly that they had to struggle with. It’s like all those damn virgins on reddit who probably cry into their cum-crusted tissues and make posts about how I’m such a “Chad” and how “I’m an asshole” and ask questions like “Why do nice guys always finish last?”
He shook his head in disbelief.
‘Fuckin’ faggots. But yeah, long story short… who gives a fuck about the belts? We snagged that shit for fun. To piss off management. The fans. Spence and Crow who take themselves SO goddamn seriously like this shit actually matters. This is their legacy. Without belts those guys are fuckin’ nothing, lost in the ether and forgotten about. Olive and I could win one match a year against absolute jobbers like Lissie and Adele or whatever and we’d still be the names on everyone’s lips. Spence goes three more months without a belt? He’d get cut, plain and simple. No name recognition, no respect from his peers or the fans. Just a dude who got lucky once and has been bang average ever since.
‘Now think about it for a second… and I’m describing Spencer Adams… or Howard Black? If I didn’t tell you previously, you probably wouldn’t have been able to explain the difference, right? Both glorified fuckin’ journeyman with the personality of cardboard cutouts, their only notable trait being “moral compasses” like that’s supposed to mean something? Let’s do something for fun. 5 fun facts about Howard Black.
‘I’ve competed without being nearly as much of a tryhard as that fuckin’ scrub, and already our careers have taken wildly different paths.
‘The Alpha Chad Cassidy: Dominated the tag-team division for LOLs. Has had the bosses of an entire company underneath his thumb for the last month. Has made Lissie Hope cry. Has had sex with a championship belt on at leas tonce.
‘The Beta Cuck Howie: Won his only notable belt in a bootleg federation. Had his arm broken by John Flash or something. Is respected for being a family man. Is old. Often gets excited oldheads running up to him with Nokia's saying "oh my gosh man it's my favorite wrestler Roy Speede."
‘There’s no comparison between us. Juice WRLD once said “All the legends seem to die out” and… I don’t even know why I’m bringing this up, because the people who think Howard Black comes even close to the definition of a legend are either autistic or have the ring name “Torture”. Kind of the same thing, no?
‘But give it a second, let’s take this shit slow. I got time to murder these fools.’
He put the cigarette to his lips once more, eyes wandering away from the camera pointed at him as the interview cut momentarily.
PINNACLE FILMS EXECUTIVE DAUGHTER GOES ROGUE
FRANCIS ADLER UNDER FIRE BY MENTAL HEALTH ORGANIZATIONS
SECRETS SPILLED: INTERNET PERSONALITY AND ACTION WRESTLING SUPERSTAR DROPS BOMBSHELL
Random clips from YouTube, Twitch and Facebook all begin playing, cut into one big compilation.
‘This just shows how far mental health issues can go if left unchecked and uncared for. Guys, if you’re ever having issues or feel alone, you have people who are willing to listen and help.’
‘Did you see the footage that came out about that speech from that Twitch girl last weekend? That shit was crazy man. She full went in on her Dad when the event was hosted because he was meant to be a really great guy. Wild.’
‘As a woman, it’s a little bit disappointing to see that that’s how she had been feeling the entire time. You can tell they put the weight of the world on her shoulders and she just couldn’t handle it. Her twin brother didn’t even bother to show public support or even mild concern for her, either. He just ran off and hasn’t made a public statement since. What’s up with that?’
‘That family is all sorts of fucked up, dude. You know there’s rumors her and her twin brother were fucking?’
‘I remember it being huge news when their older brother was reported dead. He was meant to be a big deal in the film world from what I heard. The fact they basically deleted him from the world for how many years? Now that’s gonna be turned into a documentary for sure.’
‘You just gotta think… what’s next for the Adler twins, though? They’re out of contract with Action Wrestling and apparently aren’t interested in renegotiating unless they get ridiculous demands met. As much as people hate to admit it, they’re two of the biggest stars over there. Everybody roasts Cassidy for being the “worse” twin and they still used his marketability and star power to make an entire full-budget video game about him? That just tells you they got something special in those two.’
‘I”m predicting they’ll be back… and quick. Olivia is practically excommunicated from the family after that stunt, I’d imagine. And with that, all her opportunities of actually making it in film. As for Cassidy? Hopefully he’s got enough integrity about him to actually stand with his sister and show some support. Having them in Action Wrestling is a net positive no matter which way you look at it.’
We return back to the interview, Cassidy now spread out on the couch, hardly focused at all on the camera pointed at him as he speaks.
‘Having Torture show up and simp for us is kinda like the cherry on top of this whole situation, ain’t it? We cucked his entire federation and now he feels like he’s gotta come out and do the heavy lifting. The only thing is… every time he’s felt the need to do that, he’s gotten slapped the fuck up. #ReachKrew. Grubdigger and some guy called Likken Cuckly or some shit? I’m not one-hundred percent sure about the last one, but one of my subscribers from my chat said he beat you as well, so I guess I’ll take his word about it.
‘These are all fuckin’ plebs that you’ve lost to. I legit beat Gravedigger with ease a couple months ago with an anchor of a partner in Teo, whose only recognizable bit of marketing is those dumb glasses he wears that I would make look way better than what they are. Did you know they’re from China? I know, shocker.
‘But back to the important matter of your incompetence, papa Tort. You can’t do anything right, can you? Your whole time spent as an owner has been failure after repeated failure. Your roster turnover is insane. People drop like flies. Respected “legends” of the business cuck you at every corner to go run coffee shops or spend time with their shitty kids that they don’t even really like because you got nothing to offer them except poorly run shows. For years you’ve had issues with security and actually running a tight ship, and we just exposed that shit over the last month.
‘We’ve been living in AW rent free for the last month, and now you’re deciding to capitulate to our ridiculous demands just because we beat your faggot son and some nerd from Nebraska. Did you like that word, by the way? Cah-pi-chu-late. Yeah, I read. Not too often though, that’s for fuckin’ losers.
‘But let’s be real for a second, dude. Rehiring us was the best and arguably the only good contract you’ve ever dolled out. Your track record is fuckin’ ass and that’s putting it lightly. Your entire history of general managers here have been failed, shitty ex-wrestlers who have done terrible jobs of getting the ratings up. You see the correlation between “Adler twins” and “record breaking numbers” and you fuckin’ leaped at the opportunity to resign us. Slobbing all over my cock like the sad pussboi that you are. You thought Digger and those beach boys with questionable sexualities made you look bad? I’ll hit you with the sugondese and make you reevaluate all your life choices after I’m done embarrassing your entire “legacy”.
‘Saying you don’t got it no more is an understatement. I could raise my great grandfather from the dead and he’d give you a run for your money. Your attempts at self-deprecating humor are about as funny as a Danny DiVeto drug overdose and your attempts at wrestling are nothing short of a showcase of what it looks like when someone with multiple sclerosis shows some bravery and enters the squared circle.
‘I’d say you’re dragging Howie down, but the dude is just as fuckin’ incompetent as you. Spent his whole life being a “technician” and “a grinder who worked harder than anyone else” and still was only capable of entering the business at 30+. Meanwhile my only experience required was fuckin’ up the school geeks who played D&D and traded Yugioh cards while they jerked each other off. The gulf between our natural talents is kinda sad if I’m being honest. You’re the little stocky man with the ugly wife he had to settle for and a body with no genetic potential. I’m the guy you dreamed of pulling every girl he even has a slight desire for, and the chiseled body of a literal God.
‘Your only saving grace is that you’re “relatable” and “respectable.” These are the terms people use to describe people they want to like and support but know deep down are bottom dwelling fuckin’ scrubs who are gonna get picked apart on live television by… yours truly.
‘You’re welcome, Howard! While the start of your retirement tour was underwhelming to say the least, we’re about to make up for that by giving you the night of your life. After you’re done, Howie? It’s gonna suck, man. Everyone’s gonna forget about you and the minor ripples you made through the wrestling world. But don’t worry. We aren’t gonna forget. We never will.
‘Much love you ugly midget.’
I have something to tell you. Can I call?
uhh not rlly im kinda in the middle of something
It’s important.
bro no
Seriously? Fuck you, Cass.
just tll me on hree
Frank’s back.
gimme a sec im gonna call u