All In The Family // Complete
Jul 16, 2020 12:14:20 GMT -5
Claire Hawkins and Stuart Slane like this
Post by Ned the Intern on Jul 16, 2020 12:14:20 GMT -5
Our adventure begins outside of the home of Sara Pettis. The backyard is booming with family and friends. The twins are at a picnic table, enjoying smoked meats.
This is the greatest veggie burger of all time.
Gross, bro. This white cheddar bratwurst is killer tho!
How is it that you stay in such good shape despite your gluttony?
Weeeeeeeeed, bro.
Sara walks over and sits down across from them. She has corn on the cob, dripping with butter.
Happy 4th of July, boys!
That was a few weeks ago, sis.
Yeah… but we were in Philly… so we didn't get to celebrate with everyone.
I was wondering why it was so quiet here.
You still showed up… for a party that didn't happen?
We came to hang out with dad. Drank some beer. Watched some fireworks. It was nice.
We shoulda gone to Philly, bro. I got a guy on the west side who has the dopest weed, bro.
Isn't dope weed an oxymoron?
Nah, bro! You are!
Lemme guess… you've got a guy in Columbia, too?
Close. My guy Mike lives in Irmo. Maybe a fifteen minute drive. Why?
Because we're booked on Monday, dummy.
Oh shit! Where?!
CruiserClash. Columbia, South Carolina. You don't remember the graphic flashing on TV promoting our return?
Naaahhh, bro.
You're too much sometimes.
Sara laughs as she finishes her corn, then leaves the table to recycle her plate.
Who're we workin', bro?
Sierra Silver and Thomas Snow. They call themselves Super Villains in Training. I'm not sure who is training them.
Oh damn. So they're dark and broody bad guys huh?
Not at all. They're young and bubbly. They do cool tag team moves.
Not as cool as Tag Team Shit '18… '19… or even '20 thoooooo!
They're not to be taken lightly. They've been pretty active while we've been on the bench. Win after win against enhancement talent.
Oh! Jordy Lee and Timmy James?! They were dooooope, bro!
We need to take this match seriously, Chris. They've have been champing at the bit to get some serious competition.
Champing? I thought it was chomping.
Regardless…
Irregardless?
Focus, Chris!
Chris stares at Ricky with large, glazed eyes.
Broooooo. It's like I'm looking in the mirrorrrrrrrr.
We're identical twins, dummy. Sis!
Sara overheard and she walks over, shaking her head.
Chris… baby brother… come with me. I've got a wall for you to stare at.
Will it explain the meaning of life?
Sara and Ricky give each other a look. She shrugs.
Probably.
She takes him by the hand and leads him away from the picnic table, suspecting the bad mood that he puts their sober brother in. Ricky wipes his face and pulls out his phone. He opens up Instagram @onerickschorg and hits record.
Hello there, Rickstagramers! Nope. Not married to that one bit. Let's forget I even said it. So, I'm hangin' in the backyard here in Ozone Park with my people. Sara just took Chris to chill out. Dad is trying to convince Nathan to dye his grey hair… I don't know… anything but grey. Lexi and Steph are on the swings. Here I am… excited to tell you that The Schorg Bros are back in Action Wrestling!
Technically we were never gone. Creative didn't have anything for us. CruiserClash has a limited amount of air time. I get it. In my downtime… I have been working on some motion capture stuff for AW2K20. There's still so much content that will be added to the game… that I'm not legally allowed to discuss. One thing I am allowed to say… is that cruiserweight tag team matches are being amplified in the game… just like they will be in real life!
So many teams are popping up… but none of them are The Schorg Bros or Super Villains in Training. Two of the hottest teams on the planet… and we've got ourselves a match next week! We're so excited to head to Columbia to do what we were born to do! We may not be the superheroes you want… but we're the ones you need to take down the Super Villains in Training before they grow their evil empire!
Technically we were never gone. Creative didn't have anything for us. CruiserClash has a limited amount of air time. I get it. In my downtime… I have been working on some motion capture stuff for AW2K20. There's still so much content that will be added to the game… that I'm not legally allowed to discuss. One thing I am allowed to say… is that cruiserweight tag team matches are being amplified in the game… just like they will be in real life!
So many teams are popping up… but none of them are The Schorg Bros or Super Villains in Training. Two of the hottest teams on the planet… and we've got ourselves a match next week! We're so excited to head to Columbia to do what we were born to do! We may not be the superheroes you want… but we're the ones you need to take down the Super Villains in Training before they grow their evil empire!
Fortsetzung folgt.
Our adventure continues as the matriarch of the family interrupts the live stream. Ricky gets nervous and stops recording.
You know they're not actually super villains… right?
Yeah, I know. They were Generation neZt and I think New Kids on the Block before that… and Team FUN before that.
They'll latch onto any flashy title to try to get attention. The girl boasts some imaginary title on the Twitter machine.
I forget Sara signed you up on Twitter.
@ajninredrum exists… but I don't use it often.
She's the SPLAT! Multiuniversal Champion and she---
Sounds like something a kid on the playground would make up.
It's a different business than you left behind, dad.
I didn't leave. I just don't need to destroy my body anymore. What you kids do today… with the flippies… it's all unnecessary. Get in, hip toss, get the fuck out.
That's not going to work against them.
Then make it work. I know Chris can be… flighty… and you have to work harder just to hold it together… but you can do anything you put your mind to. This business… is literally in your blood…
I know. Same speech you've given Sara. I get it.
You two are more alike than you realize. If you and Sara teamed up… there might be something special there. But I get it. You and Chris have that brotherly bond. Did you ever think that maybe he's holding you back?
All the time… but we promised each other to always stick together. His dependency on marijuana dulls some of his abilities… but it also amplifies his creativity. He can see things that I can't. You've watched our matches, dad. You know that we belong together.
For better or worse. Do you ever swap out his weed for the fake stuff?
I give him a vape pen with all kinds of weird flavors to choose from. He doesn't quite realize it's not the same thing. A lot of it is just habit for him. I'm not sure if weed even does anything to him anymore.
His dad points over at Chris, who is hanging upside down from a tree branch… silently staring at nothing… or another universe. It's hard to tell.
Oh. Yeah. He's weird as fuck. No denying that. Just watch our match on Monday. You'll see his weirdness is an advantage. If SVIT comes at us with sharks with frickin' laser beams… nobody could deflect them like Chris.
Son… are you high?
No. I think I ate a bad veggie burger.
Is there such thing as a good veggie burger?
The two share a laugh… as we are suddenly transported into the mind of Chris…
Wiz Khalifa once said the most daring thing is to be yourself and to do exactly what you want to do at that point in time and not to be worried with what other people are doing or what’s popular. I live by that run-on-sentence. A lot of people look at me and see a space cadet. They see a lost cause. Not my brother. Even when I fall down… he's there to pick me up. I owe it to him to get my shit together for this match on Monday.
Sierra and Thomas are good. Like… really… good. They've been biding their time… looking for an opportunity to take Action Wrestling by storm. They're constantly trying to peel the eyelids back and force the world to see them. D-Day has a hardon for tag team shit these days… and that erection benefits them… and us. I know they're good. I know they're cool. We hung out one time… and they fan-girled our sister the whole time.
Schorg Bros are a big deal, too, ya know. Genetically we might even be better than Sara. Her dad was a shameless piece-of-shit. Our dad is a suuuuuper talented legend. We don't get the kind of spotlight that she does… and we never have. Maybe it's time for that to change. Maybe it's time for Sara's baby brothers to take over CruiserClash. The pen hits the paper on Monday when we throw all kinds of tag team shit at them Super Villains in Training.
Doooooooooope.
Sierra and Thomas are good. Like… really… good. They've been biding their time… looking for an opportunity to take Action Wrestling by storm. They're constantly trying to peel the eyelids back and force the world to see them. D-Day has a hardon for tag team shit these days… and that erection benefits them… and us. I know they're good. I know they're cool. We hung out one time… and they fan-girled our sister the whole time.
Schorg Bros are a big deal, too, ya know. Genetically we might even be better than Sara. Her dad was a shameless piece-of-shit. Our dad is a suuuuuper talented legend. We don't get the kind of spotlight that she does… and we never have. Maybe it's time for that to change. Maybe it's time for Sara's baby brothers to take over CruiserClash. The pen hits the paper on Monday when we throw all kinds of tag team shit at them Super Villains in Training.
Doooooooooope.
Our adventure continues as Chris falls from the tree branch, landing wickedly on his right shoulder. Everyone rushes over to help. Ricky pushes through the crowd and he relocates Chris' shoulder.
That was gross!
Ehhh. He'll be fine.
Come in the house. I want to take a better look at it.
Ricky helps Chris up and they follow their dad into the house. Without saying a word, Nathan walks back over to the largest tree in the yard, where he struggles to climb up a rope ladder to play pirates in the treehouse with his daughter Stephanie. Our focus is now on Sara, who heads over to a kiddie pool where Lacey is cooling her feet.
Pull up a chair. The water is fine.
Sara grabs a lawn chair and sets it next to Lacey.
Ooohhh. This is nice.
The only one using it was your dog. She had the right idea.
There is a long, relaxing pause that is interrupted by Lacey's phone ringing. The ringtone is a MIDI version of AC/DC's Big Balls… and Lacey sends the call straight to voicemail.
That's the fifth time today.
Oh? I lost count. Have you talked to him since Monday?
No. We got in a fight backstage---
Shocker.
---and he wanted me to go home with him. I kept saying no, no, no. He just wouldn't listen. Then… strangely… Jaice showed up with his child army and they shot Frank and his goons repeatedly with cap guns.
WHAT?!
It was… weird. Nobody got hurt. They just got annoyed and left me alone.
Why didn't you tell me? All you said was you needed some alone time.
I just had to get away for a few days. From all of it. It's going to be a rough time for all of us at Chaos. I just needed… a break… I guess.
Absolutely, hun. Take all the time you need. Our door is always open.
I know… and I appreciate everything you've done for me.
What are you up to on Monday?
I'm going to take some "me" time. Maybe hit up a spa.
That sounds nice. You deserve nice things.
Come with me!
Wish I could. I finally have a singles match on CruiserClash. Against Bad Ass Bob. Speaking of which… I should probably send in a quick promo.
Want me to film it?
Yaaaassss!
Sara scoots her chair across from Lacey, keeping her feet in the kiddie pool. Lacey turns her phone horizontally… which is the only acceptable way to record with a phone...
Hey there! Guess who has two thumbs and is coming to Columbia, South Carolina to compete on CruiserClash next week?! This girl! I've been waiting patiently since signing with Action Wrestling. I've watched an entire contendership tournament take place without me in it. I've seen the recent rise of tag team action… without me in it. Last week I was in a leftovers triple threat match… and I sure didn't win.
Coming up next though… the hottest star in the galaxy will take on Bad Ass Bob! I don't know if he is a badass or if he has a bad ass. Semantics are important. What I do know… is that Bob is a staple of CruiserClash. He's on pretty much every week. Win or lose… he's always around. I admire his determination to just be himself. He wasn't satisfied with being below average… so he made some changes.
I'm going through changes, too. A lot of people see me as second fiddle to my husband… and that perception needs to change. I am my own woman. I am my own superstar. A win next week points me in the right direction on CruiserClash. The top of the mountain is crowded with incredible stars… but none of them will shine as bright as the Child of Fate.
I came to Action Wrestling to be something you've never seen before. I came to build up and empower superstars. My attitude may not always click with the viewers... who tune in to see people tear each other apart... and that's the problem. We deserve better. The fans deserve better.
We all deserve better than Bad Ass Bob.
Coming up next though… the hottest star in the galaxy will take on Bad Ass Bob! I don't know if he is a badass or if he has a bad ass. Semantics are important. What I do know… is that Bob is a staple of CruiserClash. He's on pretty much every week. Win or lose… he's always around. I admire his determination to just be himself. He wasn't satisfied with being below average… so he made some changes.
I'm going through changes, too. A lot of people see me as second fiddle to my husband… and that perception needs to change. I am my own woman. I am my own superstar. A win next week points me in the right direction on CruiserClash. The top of the mountain is crowded with incredible stars… but none of them will shine as bright as the Child of Fate.
I came to Action Wrestling to be something you've never seen before. I came to build up and empower superstars. My attitude may not always click with the viewers... who tune in to see people tear each other apart... and that's the problem. We deserve better. The fans deserve better.
We all deserve better than Bad Ass Bob.