Post by Action Reel on May 5, 2020 16:12:34 GMT -5
Bum Fight Dumpster Match
(Currently Under Re-Construction)
(Currently Under Re-Construction)
Ninja Bob/Hugo Brightside/Eagle Eye/Captain Pelican
Def
Ralph Grosse (c)/Allen Walker/Fat Lucy/Alexander Kanuck
Def
Ralph Grosse (c)/Allen Walker/Fat Lucy/Alexander Kanuck
Our Bum Fighting Champion, Ralph "The Human Vomit" Grosse stands in the ring with Alexander Kanuck, Lucy "The Fat Hooker" Midnight and Sphinx. He dusts off his Cardboard Championship as he stares across the ring at Ninja Bob, Hugo Brightside and Jobber Dave. The two teams survey the dumpsters around the ring, as they wait for the final member of Ninja Bob's team...
St Remi: Wait a damn minute! Is that...
Captain Pelican launches out of the crowd and into the ring. The referee rings the bell as Ralph darts under the bottom rope, Pelican giving chase. The Fat Hooker and Hugo Brightside start singing, ending up in a duet. Kanuck goes after Ninja Bob, who sidesteps a clothesline attempt and spins around with a hook. Kanuck falls back a step into Jobber Dave, who nails a dropkick to the hockey player. Sphinx plays it safe, hopping up to the top turnbuckle away from the action and taking a seat. Ninja Bob and Jobber Dave double-whip Alexander across the ring, waiting on the rebound. Kanuck ducks a double clothesline, jumping to the second ropes and twisting into a double clothesline of his own. Hugo and Fat Lucy embrace, the bigger woman planting a massive wet kiss on the slender Brightside. Hugo seems almost repulsed after a moment, wriggling about in her grasp. Meanwhile, Grosse has re-entered the ring, launching past Kanuck and under the opposing ropes. Pelican follows after, but is caught by Kanuck, who throws a fost at the old man. Pelican stumbles back, looking up to Alexander and screaming at him. Kanuck grins, motioning for Pelican to bring it... And is grabbed from behind as Jobber Dave attempts a German suplex. Kanuck plants his feet, turning his attention to Dave for a moment... And is caught with a dropkick from Pelican; assisting Jobber Dave with the suplex! Brightside manages to get free from Lucy Midnight's hold, trying to move away. She gives chase, starting to unbutton her top. Hugo finds himself caught by the ropes between Sphinx, his own partners and Fat Lucy; the Fat Hooker barreling down. He looks around, grabbing the top rope and dropping as Midnight gets close, an extra shove from behind as Ninja Bob shoves the massive woman over the ropes and into a dumpster.
Abbi Stein: She sang, and she's eliminated! Fat Loose Bitch is done!!
Hugo hugs Ninja Bob as Sphinx applauds their efforts. Kanuck and Jobber Dave trade punches as the Human Vomit kicks away at Captain Pelican, who was caught unaware during Midnight's elimination. Grosse continues to pummel at the leg he attacked, trying to weaken Pelican; but Hugo has Ninja Bob whip him into Grosse. Vomit is taken off-guard, allowing Pelican time to get to the ropes. Hugo starts to lift Grosse, but the holder of the Cardboard Crown hits a thumb to the eye, Brightside falling back. Grosse grabs Brightside, looking to toss him out, but Ninja Bob grabs Brightside's arm and pulls him back. Kanuck drops a boot to Jobber Dave's foot, then launches himself at the masked performer. Dave is dropped with a hard tackle, Alexander laying in with a flurry of fists. He is soon pulled off by Hugo Brightside, Ninja Bob taking it to Ralph Grosse. Brightside and Kanuck trade punches until Jobber Dave positions himself near the ropes, motioning. Hugo attempts a dropkick, but is tossed off with a block from Canuck. Meanwhile, Pelican and Ninja Bob heave Grosse across the ring with an irish whip, Ralph grabbing the ropes to avoid the rebound attack. Pelican and Bob charge across the ring, Grosse dropping to the mat. Pelican stops, but Ninja Bob isn't so lucky.
Abbi Stein: The Fatass Karate Kid is out!
Ralph looks on with a grin, throwing up a middle finger. He turns around... And Pelican clotheslines the fuck outta Grosse! The momentum sends both men over the top rope and into the dumpster with Ninja Bob.
Abbi Stein: Bird brain and the Puke are out!!
Kanuck drops Jobber Dave and Hugo Brightside with double clotheslines, playing to the hot dog vendors and early arrivers. Sphinx drops from the turnbuckle, bringing Hugo to his feet. He starts towards the ropes, but is stopped by Kanuck.
St Remi: Aren't they on the same team?
Sara Conway: Apparently, Kanuck doesn't appreciate Sphinx taking his eliminations.
Kanuck pushes Sphinx, who takes a second to contemplate his next move... And then nails Kanuck with the 10 Plagues!! The final knee to the groin drops Alexander, Sphinx dropping back. He rebounds off the... No! Jobber Dave pulls the top rope down, sending Sphinx toppling over the top rope and into a dumpster!!
Abbi Stein: Walk Like An Egyptian is DONE!
Jobber Dave walks over, hitting Kanuck with a dropkick. Hugo Brightside saunters over, a grin. He grabs Dave by the shoulder, talking strategy. Dave nods, the two picking up Kanuck. Alexander shoves Brightside, sending him into a corner. He then hits Jobber Dave with a nasty headbutt, following up with a flurry of punches over the masked man.
St Remi: Kanuck-le Up! It's over for Jobber Dave!!
Kanuck watches Jobber Dave drop to a knee, turning around and rushing Brightside in the corner.
Sara Conway: It Started Out With A Kiss!!
The Pendulum Kick takes Alexander by surprise, he stumbles backwards and turns around...
St Remi: How Did It End Up Like This!!
The backstabber from Brightside drops Kanuck, Brightside motioning to the crowd. He picks up Jobber Dave, pointing to Kanuck and whispering to his partner. The two men position themselves over Kanuck...
St Remi: It Was Only A Kiss!! It Was Only A Kiss!!
Sara Conway: Double standing moonsault!!
Jobber Dave and Hugo Brightside stand, slapping fives. Brightside starts lifting Kanuck to his feet, Jobber Dave helping him get their opponent to the ropes. Alexander is moments from being over, suddenly coming to life as he elbows Dave in the nose. Dave drops back, Kanuck getting a foot on the mat and hoisting Hugo over him. Brightside lands on the apron as Kanuck turns around, but his momentum is stopped as he hears Jobber Dave behind him. He spins back around, Brightside grabbing the top rope and dropping as Jobber Dave launches himself full-force into the larger Kanuck, both men tumbling out and into the dumpster.
Abbi Stein: The Masked Jobber Bitch and Hockey Fuck are eliminated! Which means Music Mike is the sole winner. Congrats, fucknut. Where's my cell phone?