Post by J.C. Keeton on Apr 7, 2020 13:24:46 GMT -5
The scene opens to JC Keeton standing in his kitchen with a bunch of bowls on the counter. He picks them up one by one and smells the contents. Some get tossed in the trash bowl and all while others receive a shrug from the Cruiserweight Champion. He turns and looks into the camera.
You know how you have those leftovers in the fridge that you forgot about? You smell them and they seem like they might be ok but rather than take a chance on getting uncontrollable diarrhea you throw them out. I feel like that's what this Gauntlet Match at Battlefield is like except AW didn't throw the leftovers out and they're trying to give me diarrhea.
The person I should be defending my title against didn't invoke his rematch clause and instead chose to chase the CW Tag Team titles. Maybe it's fear of the inevitable and he knows he can't beat me but I need to beat QDT again one on one to prove that I didn't just catch him on an off night. I'll be here and I'll still be champion when you're ready Quixote cause I ain't losing to last week's lasagna.
The next choice for me to defend against should have been Alice considering she's done more to earn a shot than any of the leftovers have. She's busy with Battlebowl but made it clear that she wants my title. I welcome the challenge Alice but when the time comes I'm gonna disappoint you worse than you will be when you finally give in and let QDT ram his micropenis in your childbirth ravaged milf snatch.
It has to be disheartening for the five Tupperware strainers to know that the only reason they're getting this shot is because there just wasn't a better option available. At the same time I feel disrespected that they decided to throw me the CW division scraps when I had other options too. I mean hell I've been screaming since I got here that Derrick Vayden ran from the CW division to get away from me and if he won't come back down I got no problem going up. It's not like he has anything better to do, this is the second PPV in a row he's been left off. That move ain't working out too well is it Derrick?
I apologize if I seem frustrated but I feel like the forgotten champion at this point and I've only shown up to Cruiserclash when I had to because let's face it this match isn't that motivating. I'm also entering the match last which means I only have to beat one of the natural laxatives. The outcome would have been the same if I had to start the match but at least it would have been more of a challenge than just giving me whichever one of these turds survives the flush. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, let me run through them all like Estrella did when she was TV Champion.
You've probably noticed by now that I've yet to utter the name of any of my opponents. I've spent more time talking about people who aren't in this gauntlet than people that are because the ones who are are that insignificant to me. Call it arrogance, tell me I'm making a mistake by writing off five clearly talented competitors but listen real fucking close because I'm telling you that I deserve better and they don't deserve me wasting my breath or my time on them.
For months this division has revolved around QDT, Keeton, and Baker. Graham moved on and captured gold on Clash and QDT is content being a comedy act chasing tag titles with Flop and the goat. That leaves me as the standard bearer for this division and I'll be damned if one of a bunch of interchangeable Cruiserweights who will go back to being irrelevant and forgotten after Battlefield are gonna make me a one and done champion.
I fucking hate leftovers.
With a swipe of his arm he clears the counter of plastic wear and they all go in the garbage. The scene fades.
You know how you have those leftovers in the fridge that you forgot about? You smell them and they seem like they might be ok but rather than take a chance on getting uncontrollable diarrhea you throw them out. I feel like that's what this Gauntlet Match at Battlefield is like except AW didn't throw the leftovers out and they're trying to give me diarrhea.
The person I should be defending my title against didn't invoke his rematch clause and instead chose to chase the CW Tag Team titles. Maybe it's fear of the inevitable and he knows he can't beat me but I need to beat QDT again one on one to prove that I didn't just catch him on an off night. I'll be here and I'll still be champion when you're ready Quixote cause I ain't losing to last week's lasagna.
The next choice for me to defend against should have been Alice considering she's done more to earn a shot than any of the leftovers have. She's busy with Battlebowl but made it clear that she wants my title. I welcome the challenge Alice but when the time comes I'm gonna disappoint you worse than you will be when you finally give in and let QDT ram his micropenis in your childbirth ravaged milf snatch.
It has to be disheartening for the five Tupperware strainers to know that the only reason they're getting this shot is because there just wasn't a better option available. At the same time I feel disrespected that they decided to throw me the CW division scraps when I had other options too. I mean hell I've been screaming since I got here that Derrick Vayden ran from the CW division to get away from me and if he won't come back down I got no problem going up. It's not like he has anything better to do, this is the second PPV in a row he's been left off. That move ain't working out too well is it Derrick?
I apologize if I seem frustrated but I feel like the forgotten champion at this point and I've only shown up to Cruiserclash when I had to because let's face it this match isn't that motivating. I'm also entering the match last which means I only have to beat one of the natural laxatives. The outcome would have been the same if I had to start the match but at least it would have been more of a challenge than just giving me whichever one of these turds survives the flush. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, let me run through them all like Estrella did when she was TV Champion.
You've probably noticed by now that I've yet to utter the name of any of my opponents. I've spent more time talking about people who aren't in this gauntlet than people that are because the ones who are are that insignificant to me. Call it arrogance, tell me I'm making a mistake by writing off five clearly talented competitors but listen real fucking close because I'm telling you that I deserve better and they don't deserve me wasting my breath or my time on them.
For months this division has revolved around QDT, Keeton, and Baker. Graham moved on and captured gold on Clash and QDT is content being a comedy act chasing tag titles with Flop and the goat. That leaves me as the standard bearer for this division and I'll be damned if one of a bunch of interchangeable Cruiserweights who will go back to being irrelevant and forgotten after Battlefield are gonna make me a one and done champion.
I fucking hate leftovers.
With a swipe of his arm he clears the counter of plastic wear and they all go in the garbage. The scene fades.