The Lord of Lightning (and many other stupid nicknames)
Apr 3, 2020 18:01:35 GMT -5
The Papa John's Pizza Man, NATE, and 1 more like this
Post by James Nightingale on Apr 3, 2020 18:01:35 GMT -5
James Nightingale lies on his bed in his isolated hotel room. Haunted by the ghost of Sam Kidsgrove, he has become even more reclusive then normal. After learning about his upcoming match on Clash, he is busy contemplating his next move, having become desperate for a victory after being pinned three times in his previous three matches, a loss to Anthony Leonhart would be the final nail in his coffin.
He sits up and has a sip of his Jack and Coke, then stands and walks over to the table. He picks up his copy of the card for Clash and stares at his opponents name, Anthony Leonhart.
It’s been a long time since I’ve tasted victory here in Action Wrestling. Some would argue I defeated Sam Kidsgrove, but that was a fight and not a match, and what a victory that was, the prick haunts me and every turn.
Nightingale scrunches up the paper and throws it to the ground.
As much as I despise Sam Kidsgrove, you, Anthony Leonhart are below even his standards. Where do we start with you Tony? Well lets kick this off with your dumb ass name. What kind of stupid name is that? It’s the name of someone pretty insignificant. If I was to pull out my phone and type you into Google what would I find? Probably not a great bunch, fuck it lets do it for a laugh.
Nightingale opens up google and types in ‘Anthony Leonhart’ into the search bar. After taking a moment to load, there is nothing significant on there regarding Anthony Leonhart, but there is a YouTube star called Leonhart who specialises in Pokemon cards.
Well gosh that's depressing ain't it Tony? This dipshit who plays with pieces of card with stupid Japanese cartoon characters printed on them is more over then you? But wait I thought you were trained in Japan, and that you were a big star over there? I mean you're a Lord over there, Lord Inazuma. That’s impressive, you're the LORD OF LIGHTNING!! That sounds like a real big deal, being the Lord of Lightning you should be real famous, on an equal standing to the God of Thunder, Thor. Yet this dude promoting Pokemon cards is more over than you, it must pain you to know that the Lord of Lightning gets less google hits then some Pikachu loving motherfucker!
What other stupid nicknames have you given yourself? Let’s check this out as it’s giving me a laugh in these rather shit times.
Nightingale opens up Wikipedia and finds Leonhart’s page and finds the list of nicknames, all five of them…
The Sadistic Salvationist
The Hellraiser (of Action Wrestling)
Lord Inazuma (only in Japan)
The Lord of the Holy Truth
The Godfather of Salvation
The Hellraiser of Action Wrestling, well that's a real claim to make isn’t it? I don’t really see much hell raising being carried out by you Tony. I mean if I look at your career here in Action Wrestling, you arrived here at the turn of the new year, YOU DID FUCK ALL! Then you took your ball and left, no one even really noticed if I’m being honest. But then you grew some new balls, and clearly have pumped yourself full of steroids to get that buff in a month. Do you know steroids give you a tiny dick yeah? Anyway you then come back to Action Wrestling full of piss and vinegar and make out like it’s the second coming of Christ. But despite you getting your mum to inject the steroids into your ass you continue to lose, time and time again. Technically you have one victory, albeit a countout victory against NATE, but don’t make out like you earned that, you were out cold in the middle of the ring, that big bastard managed to fall asleep on the outside of the ring.
Nightingale downs the rest of his drink, and then proceeds to slide open the hotel window and lights a cigarette. He looks at his phone again.
These nicknames really are uplifting Tony, let's look at this last one, The Godfather of Salvation. What are you trying to salvage Tony? Action Wrestling? Your lousy career? You need to do something mate because it’s on life support. Now I know those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, I am on a skid of my own. But look at the difference in the quality of our opponents, I have faced some of the legends of this profession and have narrowly fallen short after going through a war, you have lost convincingly to far inferior talent. I’m not overly sure if your career is salvageable, your heading into the ring with The Angel of Death. Just look at the destruction I have sown since I debuted in November, I have been eradicating left right and centre, I am preparing to fight again for the Hardcore Championship. And you Tony I fear you are hanging onto your career by the tiniest of threads. But please don't think that your salvation starts by defeating me, because you're going to be disappointed. I will be using you as my warm up, my last practice run before I return to hell once again to do battle with some real competition in Corey Black and Odin Balfore.
Nightingale takes a final drag and then flicks the cigarette outside. He closes the window and returns to his bed.
The Angel of Deaths’ wings have been clipped way too long, it’s time I shake off the cob webs and put Sam Kidsgrove behind me once and for all, as bigger and better prizes await, the Hardcore Championship, oh and Anthony Leonhart's funeral… sorry mate your fucked. You’ve got no hope Monday, all hope is gone for your Action Wrestling career. But don’t worry buddy I’ve taken a screenshot of all your stupid nicknames so they can read them out at your funeral after you’ve been eradicated by myself… The Angel of Death.