Do You Believe in Magic?
Mar 25, 2020 7:46:53 GMT -5
Dandy DiVito, Geri Vayden, and 6 more like this
Post by Derrick Vayden on Mar 25, 2020 7:46:53 GMT -5
Feel the magic, I feel it floating in the air
But it's fear, and you'll hear
It calling you beware
Look out
I lay in my bed in the hotel room that is far too big for just me. The only light in the room is emitting from my phone, shining into my eyes as the dreaded three dots appear on my text screen.
Babe this is ridiculous. Can’t we talk about this?
No not until u admit u fucked up
What did I do??
You and Rion are getting too close. U clearly like her!
Of course, I don’t Geri. It’s all an act! Babe this isolation is making you crazy.
That Erron chick she hangs with keeps threatening to pull her from teaming with me. I’m just trying to win this thing by any means.
That Erron chick she hangs with keeps threatening to pull her from teaming with me. I’m just trying to win this thing by any means.
If that includes playing nice and being fake happy around her for a couple weeks, so be it
You need to man up, Derrick
You can’t be doing this when Makayla comes
You need to be a dad
I set my phone onto the bedside table, face down. Those last couple messages hit me right in my gut. She knows how I feel about this baby situation. In a time already full of all kinds of stress, none of this is helping.
I spend the next two hours tossing and turning, praying I could catch any sort of sleep amongst the growing panic but to no avail.
Suddenly my room is lit up with a bright flash accompanied by a loud BANG.
Well, that didn’t fucking help.
I scramble to turn the light on to help locate the source of the disturbance. Standing at the foot of my bed stood a figure with his back to me. He wore a flashy, sparkly bodysuit that belonged to only one man I know…
Magic?!
My former tag team partner, Magic Maddox turns around, a goofy, excited smile on his face.
Hey, DV! Long time no see!
Yeah, I’ll say. Where the hell have you been, man? Nobody’s seen or heard from you in months!
Maddox belly flops onto the bed and crawls up next to me.
Well, after I fought Raging Dead, I went up to my dad.
He killed you?!
What? No, I took a bus!
I get stuck trying to comprehend a bus to heaven but, as always, he doesn’t give me time to think before continuing on.
Hey! I heard you’re going to be Daddy Derrick! Congrats!
Don’t put it like that, man. In fact, don’t mention it at all. I don’t want to talk about it.
Aww, why not? I’m excited to be Uncle Magic!
Because I just don’t, okay? Not right now.
Oh. All right.
An awkward silence falls between us, a rare occurrence for Maddox and me. I need to change the subject quickly.
…
Hey, Magic?
Yeah, DV?
Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what made you decide now, the middle of the night, to show up?
Well, I wanted to talk to you about… that thing. But now you don’t want to talk about that thing so now I guess we’re just having a sleepover!
Maddox snaps his fingers and his sparkly bodysuit suddenly changes to pajamas that are somehow more sparkly.
Whoa whoa, Magic Mike. No offense, but I don’t want to share a bed with you.
I look back to Maddox, who’s somehow already tucked in under the covers. He’s giving me a pouty face and puppy dog eyes. I sigh.
Fine. But only if you stop mentioning the baby.
Yay! Deal!
Another week, another fight between a Cool Kid and an Adler. I’ve had a lot of repetitive fights in my career so far. Charlie Sadist, Daniel Westbrook, even Geri. But you, Olive, are by far my favorite. You’re my white whale, the one person I just haven’t been able to defeat. I’ve managed to conquer the likes of Raging Dead and Alexander Pasternak. But you, Olivia, I just can’t seem to get rid of you. But, third time’s the charm, am I right? This time, you won’t have your usual partner in Cass by your side. No, instead you have a lowly cruiserweight in Alice.
Honestly, I feel like management is trolling me by putting me up against these cruiserweights. Last round it was Captain Crunch’s Cereal Man and this time around it’s “Hard as Fuck” Alice.
So, Alice, how’s it feel? How are you enjoying the fruits of my labor? I was a dominant champion. I put that division on the map. I willed the Cruiserweight Havoc Rumble into being. CruiserClash wouldn’t exist without my blood, sweat, and tears. And to this day I receive zero credit for single-handedly making that ENTIRE division what it is today.
I still get asked about this in interviews. My crowning achievement has to be my run in the cruisers, yeah? To be honest, no. Quite frankly I am ashamed of my time down there. I gave that division everything I had all to bring it to prominence. And for what? So fucking leeches like you can come in and dance in the spotlight that I created.
Alice, I will be one hundred percent honest with you. I do not think you are talented. I do not think you belong here. And deep down, I think you realize that too. Since day one you’ve hitched your wagon to QDT, hoping some of his excellency will rub off on you and you will ascend to heights you’ve never reached before!
But here’s the thing... Talent isn’t sexually transmitted.
Alas, Alice, you will never be more than QDT’s puppet. He’ll continue to use you like the mindless slave you are. He sees your ignorant desperation to get to the top by any means necessary. He will use that to his benefit until you aren’t of use anymore. Then he will toss you out like the fucking trash you are.
This isn’t Wonderland, Alice, but you are definitely batshit mad if you think you’re going any further in BattleBowl or any further in your AW career, for that matter.
Speaking of being insane… Olive! I’m sure it’s a dead horse at this point to talk about insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That line is about as overused as your stale ass memes but it's accurate!
Y’know, Olive, I must say you are one of the more entertaining AW competitors, wanna know why? Because your life is a complete guilty pleasure reality show much akin to Keeping Up with the Kardashians but with ten times the amount of family drama. It’s the trashiest soap opera I’ve ever seen and I cannot get enough of it.
Your daddy has you under his thumb in every way imaginable and you’re too much of a coward to do anything about it. You just sit there and take it like a good little bitch. Your older brother made a break for it at the first chance he got and that threw the rest of y’all into a tailspin. Figures the one person in your clan who had the brains to cut and run would be the one to fuck up everyone’s plans, huh? Hate to see it. Now you’re left like a deer in the headlights to pick up the pieces of your family turmoil and I can’t get enough of watching it.
Even your own twin causes you so much strife! The one person on this planet that should find you tolerable can’t fucking stand you! Olivia, you truly are a pariah to everyone around you. You are a whiny piece of shit who is only in the position she’s in because you are the lesser of two evils. You’re a fucking train wreck but Cass is much worse. So congrats on being shit, but not terrible.
People always say they’ll never be like their parents when they have children. That’s not really true in my case. My parents are fucking awesome. I just pray to God (Ian) that I don’t end up like your dad, Olive. Though I suppose if I had a child like you, I’d be ashamed and disappointed as well.
But don’t worry, Olivia. I understand. You don’t have the backbone to stand up to your family so you take all of your angst and anger out on me.
It’s time for me to step my game up, start picking up some serious wins. My little girl deserves better. My family deserves better. Geri and I are going to do anything and everything we can so that Makayla has a wonderful life and neither of you bitches will be able to stop me from getting there.
Honestly, I feel like management is trolling me by putting me up against these cruiserweights. Last round it was Captain Crunch’s Cereal Man and this time around it’s “Hard as Fuck” Alice.
So, Alice, how’s it feel? How are you enjoying the fruits of my labor? I was a dominant champion. I put that division on the map. I willed the Cruiserweight Havoc Rumble into being. CruiserClash wouldn’t exist without my blood, sweat, and tears. And to this day I receive zero credit for single-handedly making that ENTIRE division what it is today.
I still get asked about this in interviews. My crowning achievement has to be my run in the cruisers, yeah? To be honest, no. Quite frankly I am ashamed of my time down there. I gave that division everything I had all to bring it to prominence. And for what? So fucking leeches like you can come in and dance in the spotlight that I created.
Alice, I will be one hundred percent honest with you. I do not think you are talented. I do not think you belong here. And deep down, I think you realize that too. Since day one you’ve hitched your wagon to QDT, hoping some of his excellency will rub off on you and you will ascend to heights you’ve never reached before!
But here’s the thing... Talent isn’t sexually transmitted.
Alas, Alice, you will never be more than QDT’s puppet. He’ll continue to use you like the mindless slave you are. He sees your ignorant desperation to get to the top by any means necessary. He will use that to his benefit until you aren’t of use anymore. Then he will toss you out like the fucking trash you are.
This isn’t Wonderland, Alice, but you are definitely batshit mad if you think you’re going any further in BattleBowl or any further in your AW career, for that matter.
Speaking of being insane… Olive! I’m sure it’s a dead horse at this point to talk about insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That line is about as overused as your stale ass memes but it's accurate!
Y’know, Olive, I must say you are one of the more entertaining AW competitors, wanna know why? Because your life is a complete guilty pleasure reality show much akin to Keeping Up with the Kardashians but with ten times the amount of family drama. It’s the trashiest soap opera I’ve ever seen and I cannot get enough of it.
Your daddy has you under his thumb in every way imaginable and you’re too much of a coward to do anything about it. You just sit there and take it like a good little bitch. Your older brother made a break for it at the first chance he got and that threw the rest of y’all into a tailspin. Figures the one person in your clan who had the brains to cut and run would be the one to fuck up everyone’s plans, huh? Hate to see it. Now you’re left like a deer in the headlights to pick up the pieces of your family turmoil and I can’t get enough of watching it.
Even your own twin causes you so much strife! The one person on this planet that should find you tolerable can’t fucking stand you! Olivia, you truly are a pariah to everyone around you. You are a whiny piece of shit who is only in the position she’s in because you are the lesser of two evils. You’re a fucking train wreck but Cass is much worse. So congrats on being shit, but not terrible.
People always say they’ll never be like their parents when they have children. That’s not really true in my case. My parents are fucking awesome. I just pray to God (Ian) that I don’t end up like your dad, Olive. Though I suppose if I had a child like you, I’d be ashamed and disappointed as well.
But don’t worry, Olivia. I understand. You don’t have the backbone to stand up to your family so you take all of your angst and anger out on me.
It’s time for me to step my game up, start picking up some serious wins. My little girl deserves better. My family deserves better. Geri and I are going to do anything and everything we can so that Makayla has a wonderful life and neither of you bitches will be able to stop me from getting there.