Post by Jacqui M on Feb 2, 2020 18:19:10 GMT -5
Pine Grove Mobile Home Park
Des Moine, Iowa
April 1993
'What the hell happened to you?!'
'Been in a fight.'
'You been in a fight?!'
'Yeah. An' you ought'a seen them other guys.'
'Guys?! We talkin' more'n one?!'
'Yeah, Johnny. We talkin' more'n one. Duh.'
'...who was it?!'
'Ethan Simmons 'n' Tommy Deakins 'n' Joey Krebbs.'
'Ethan Simmons?! An' Tommy Deakins?! An' Joey Krebbs?!'
'Holy shit, Johnny! You just gonna keep repeatin' every damn thing I say?'
'But...but Ethan 'n' Tommy 'n' Joey are twelve!'
'Yeah.'
'An' you was scrappin' with all three of 'em?!'
'Yeah.'
'At the same time?!'
'Yeah at the same time. Got Ethan cryin', too.'
'You got Ethan cryin'?! Ethan Simmons?!'
'Hell yeah. Blubberin' like a baby!'
'Holy shit, girl!'
'I know. 'Course, then Tommy an' Joey beat the shit outta me. But then all of Ethan's friends was laughin' at him 'cause a girl whupped his ass an' got him cryin'. So I reckon I done won anyways.'
'Yeah. Reckon you did.'
'Anyhow, win or lose, I reckon them three guys gonna leave us be for a good long while now.'
'Yeah. S'pose so....Damn, though, Raven! That was fuckin' badass!'
'Hell yeah, it was. In fact, it was so badass, it's gone 'n' made me thirsty. Last one to the Mini-Mart wears granny-panties!'
'Hey, wait up! Raven, wait up! Raven! Raveeeeeennnnn!'
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Tokyo, Japan
May 2000
'What the hell happened to you?!'
'Been in a fight.'
'You've been in a fight?!'
'Yeah. And you ought to have seen those other guys.'
'Guys?! Are we talking more than one?!'
'Yeah, Kenshin. We're talking more than one. Duh.'
'...who was it?!'
'Three smart-asses who thought it was a good idea to try and steal my shit.'
'And you were scrapping with all three of them?'
'Yeah.'
'At the same time?!'
'Yeah at the same time. Got one of them crying, too.'
'You got one of them crying?'
'Hell yeah. Blubbering like a baby.'
'Awesome!'
'I know. 'Course, then the two bigger ones beat the shit outta me. But none of them tried to steal my shit again. So I reckon I won anyway.'
'Yes. I reckon you did.'
'Anyhow, win or lose, I reckon those three guys are gonna leave us be for a good long while now.'
'I suppose they will. But damn - that's really impressive, Raven-chan!'
'Hell yeah, it is. In fact, it's so impressive it's gone and made me thirsty. Last one to the Mini-Mart wears granny-panties!'
'Hey, wait for me! Raven-chan, wait for me! Raven-chan! Raven-chaaaaannnnn!'
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Tokyo, Japan
October 2000
'What the hell happened to you?!'
'Been in a fight.'
'You been in a fight?!'
'Yeah. An' you ought'a have seen them other guys.'
'Guys?! We talkin' more'n one?!'
'Yeah, Lou. We talkin' more'n one. Duh.'
'...who was it?!'
'Three jackasses that thought it was a good idea to try an' steal my shit.'
'And you were scrappin' with all three of them?'
'Yeah.'
'At the same time?!'
'Yeah at the same time. Got one of them cryin', too.'
'You got one of them cryin'?'
'Hell yeah. Blubbering like a baby.'
'Holy shit, kid.'
'I know. 'Course, then the two bigger ones beat the shit outta me. But ain't none of 'em try to steal my shit again. So I reckon I won anyway.'
'Yeah. Reckon you did.'
'Anyhow, win or lose, I reckon those three guys are gonna leave folks' bags be for a good long while now.'
'S'pose they will. But damn, kid – I ain't sure if that's really fuckin' badass, or really fuckin' stupid.'
'What you talkin' 'bout, Lou?! It's badass! 'Course it's badass! In fact, it's so fuckin' badass, it's gone an' made me thirsty. We got any Coke?'
'Hey – hold on a minute, kid! Kid – hold on a minute! Kid! Kid!
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Tokyo, Japan
January 2020
'What the hell happened to you?!'
'Been in a fight.'
'You been in a fight?!'
'Yeah. An' you ought'a have seen them other guys.'
'Guys?! We talkin' more'n one?!'
'Yeah, Lou. We talkin' more'n one. Duh.'
'...who was it?!'
'Three jackasses that thought it was a good idea to try an' steal some lady's shit.'
'And you were scrappin' with all three of them?'
'Yeah.'
'At the same time?!'
'Yeah at the same time. Got one of them cryin', too.'
'You got one of 'em cryin'?'
'Hell yeah. Blubbering like a baby.'
'Holy shit, kid.'
'I know. 'Course, then the two bigger ones beat me up something fierce. But all three of 'em had to run away after that, an' the lady got to keep her purse. She even bought me a meal as a reward. So I reckon I won anyway.'
'Yeah. Reckon you did.'
'Anyhow, win or lose, I reckon those three guys are gonna leave folks' bags be for a good long while now.'
'S'pose they will. But damn, kid – I still ain't sure if that's really fuckin' badass, or really fuckin' stupid.'
'What you talkin' 'bout, Lou?! It's still plain badass! 'Course it's still plain badass! In fact, it's so fuckin' badass, it's gone an' made me thirsty. We got any beer?'
'Hey – hold on a minute, kid! Kid – hold on a minute! Kid! Kid!
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Jacqui Monroe's Apartment
Tokyo, Japan
February 2, 2020 8.10 AM
Coffee? Check.
Cigarettes? Check.
Pocky? Check.
PWA Women's Championship belt? Check.
Right. Time to wreck some egos.
'First things first – it's 20-fucking-20, Action Wrestling. Can we quit with the gendered girl-power bullshit? Women don't need that sort of shit to feel empowered. Hell, the Main Event on the next episode of Clash is four, erm, badass bitches beating the everloving shit out of each other. Not a dick in sight. I'd call that pretty fucking empowered. But no, by all means, let's have the dumbass made-up trophy to make us all feel validated. Fuck. That. I don't need no bullshit trophy to tell me what I'm worth.'
And that's a goddamn fact.
'Those other chicks, though...I don't know about. Maybe they do need the goddamn trophy. They sure as fuck don't seem too confident in their own skin. In fact, looks to me like every last one of 'em is putting on a front. Overcompensatin'. Like they need people to know they're badasses. Me? I don't need to front. I already know I'm a badass. I've known it since I was a kid. You gotta be a badass to make it twenty years in this business. Hell, you grow up the way I did, you gotta be a badass to make it twenty years, period.'
Again – a goddamn fact.
'And I ain't got shit to prove to nobody, neither. I know exactly where I am in my career. The same damn place I've been for the past however many years – babysittin' a bunch of spoiled brats who want to play 'Main Event wrestler.' Well, lemme tell you, ladies – on Monday, ain't gonna be no finger-painting. Just finger-paining – as in, I make you feel pain when I put you in a goddamn finger hold!'
Ha – that was a good one!
'And y'all might think I'm all talk right here. Hell, who the fuck am I, right? Some old-ass bitch who just came back and blew a bunch of chances, and now she's talking all this trash just 'cause she got lucky on the one Main Event. What the fuck, right? But see, there's one major difference between the Jacqui that first joined Action Wrestling, and the Jacqui y'all saw punking out a mouthy bitch on Main Event last week. And that difference comes down to one word: purpose.'
Damn straight!
'See, I ain't gonna lie. When I first came back, I felt like I didn't belong in wrestling anymore. Like I'd been away too long, and the business had no place for me anymore. Like maybe I should'a stayed gone this time. Like I was wrestling's fuckin' Rip Van Winkle, and I should just go back to sleep for another hundred goddamn years.
And then I beat Addy.
And I realized – I still did belong. There still was a fuckin' place for me. And most importantly – I still fuckin' had it. I still had what it fuckin' took to school uppity brats who thought they had it easy facing me, just 'cause I'm not on Twitter all day getting my ass kissed and making dick jokes and running motherfuckers down for no reason. Just like old times. And just like old times, it felt damn good to show 'em just how fuckin' wrong they were. And I owe all that to one person – Addy goddamn Ainsworth.'
Again - no lie.
Again - no lie.
'So thanks, Addy. I mean that. Thanks for putting the bug back into me. Thanks for reminding me of who I was, and where I belonged. Thanks for reminding me that maybe I'm not a big name anymore – maybe I never was in the first place – but I can sure as fuck still be a damn good gatekeeper.
Too bad you're gonna have to suffer the consequences. Again.'
I mean every word of that, too.
'As for the other two y'all...maybe I got y'all wrong. Maybe y'all ain't fronting. Maybe y'all really feelin' yourselves right now. And why the fuck not? Y'all done shit. Lissie's got the All-In briefcase. That's a guaranteed title shot, right there. Karlie's got a goddamn Olympic gold medal, for cryin' out loud! And she's a hockey player, meaning she probably done bust some bitches' teeth in the past. All y'all got every right to feel confident about yourselves. Just don't let that confidence fool ya. Don't let that confidence make you smug. I see y'all on Twitter acting like I'm no big deal - nevermind that I've gone five matches in Action Wrestling without taking a goddamn pin yet. Well, go ahead. Sleep on me. See what happens. I double-fuckin'-dog-dare ya.'
Hell, I triple fuckin' dog dare 'em!
'See, y'all ain't the only ones who done shit. I done shit too. Even if y'all don't know about it. Even if it was a long-ass time ago. I done it. I broke records. I won titles. I beat motherfuckers I wasn't expected to beat. Just ‘cause I don’t talk about it every 5 seconds, don’t mean it didn’t happen. And guess what? I've done it for at least twice as long as any y'all in this match on Monday. It's like I said – I ain't got shit left to prove to nobody. On Monday, I'm gonna be the only one in that ring that doesn't need a goddamn W. Win or lose, I'm gonna be just fine – 'cause the truth is, I don't need no piece of shit made-up trophy to remind me of who I am. I already know who I am. I already know I'm a badass bitch. Hell, I'm more than that – I'm an Alpha bitch. And on Monday, that's just who I’m fixing to be.'
Give this belt a little pat, just to drive the point home...
….aaaand...
….onto the home stretch.
'So, kids – I'm gonna tell y'all what I already told Addy. Y'all wanna be Main Event? Put your goddamn Main Event pants on before you step in that ring with me on Monday. 'Cause see, mine? Mine never come off. And if you come at me on Monday half-assed, acting like you already beat me, I'm gonna do what an Alpha Bitch does to pups who start getting too big for their britches and developing attitudes.
I'm gonna dominate the shit outta the three y'all.'
There. That ought'a have put the fear of God into them three kids. On Monday, win or lose, I reckon those three girls are gonna leave me be for a good long while afterwards.
Damn, though - all this trash talk has gone and made me thirsty. And I don't think this coffee's gonna cut it. I need something stronger.
'Hey yo, Alpha – last one to the fridge wears Granny panties!'
'BARK!'
'Hey, wait up! Alpha, wait up! Alpha! Alphaaaaaaaaa!'
FINAL WORD COUNT: 2033 INCLUDING THIS LINE