Post by Flop on Jan 28, 2020 4:32:02 GMT -5
[Flop is sitting on a park bench with his pet goat, Derek. Flop looks at Derek in is wonky goat eyes.]
Derek I am going to tell you a poem I wrote about Bad Ass Bob. It’s called Assumptions.
[Flop pulls out a piece of paper from his packet.]
Bee is for Bob of the Bad Ass variety.
Don’t ask me why Bob has a Bad Ass.
I don’t know - maybe it’s because of a lack of sobriety.
But feel bad for Bob if that is the case because alcohol is an addiction.
But I am only making an assumption.
He could mean he has a Bad Ass because he has a sore ass.
A by-product of a few too many dicks in.
Stretched sphincter could be painful.
But at the time I'm sure Bob thought it was playful.
But I am only making an assumption.
It could be a Bad Ass because it smells.
Stuck in a room with too many farts.
Like a dutch oven when somebody forget that had a stretched sphincter.
And one of those farts turned into a shart.
But I am only making an assumption.
It could be a Bad Ass all covered in acne.
Too many steroids stuck in his body.
Steroids are bad because they are drugs mmmkay.
But they have a side effect that couldn’t be worse
If he was taken away in a hearse
I guess we know we he’s not called Big Ball Bob
Because Bad Ass Bob
He has a small knob.
But I am only making an assumption.
But Bee is not the only letter for Bad Ass Bob.
But of all the letters in his name he lacks a kay
But he has an oh. And he has two aye’s.
Yet he is missing a double you.
Which means that Bad Ass Bob is not
Keen On All Willie’s.
Oh Flop - don’t be so silly.
You know that Bad Ass Bob likes
Ketchup On A ‘Wurst.
Oh! Or maybe I have heard
He likes Kumquat On A Windowsill.
Ha Ha Cum.
Ha Ha Quat.
Sounds like cum in a twat.
But what if it’s not a twat but a sphincter.
And we are back to Bad Ass Bob.
See I’m Flop and I’m a lateral thinker.
But I am only making an assumption.
Poor Bob. He seems like such a nice guy.
We shouldn’t we his such pain.
That he has to use it in his name.
I must go to the drug store and buy him some cream.
We all know that piles a nasty mean.
They can be caused by constipation.
That is like the opposite of diarrhea.
After a good chili that can burn like gonorrhea.
Poor Bad Ass Bob.
From constipation to diarrhea with a side of gonorrhea.
Especially after chili.
To eat chili like that.
That’s Flop level silly.
But I am only making an assumption.
I could be all wrong about Bad Ass Bob.
He could have diarrhea because he drank too much Zim-Quila.
And he could have got gonorrhea for his wife.
Because a guy named Steven Osbourne did her.
Poor Bad Ass Bob with his very small knob.
He’s had a tough old life.
But I am only making an assumption.
About his wife, not his knob.
I know he has a small knob because of the steroids.
And I know of the steroids because of the butt acne.
And I know of the butt acne because of his farts that turned into sharts.
We know that because he stretched his sphincter.
Because he had to find a way to feel his addiction.
Which was Zim-Quila. It all started because his wife would let him feel her.
But I am only making an assumption.
Or it could all be lies.
He could call himself Bad Ass Bob because he was sick of being below average.
He wanted a tougher name. Something that sounded savage.
If that’s the case.
Fuck you.
I’m Flop.
You’re dead.
I’ve got a goat.
But I’m only making an assumption.
Still.
Fuck you.
I’m Flop.
You’re dead.
I’ve got a goat.
A MOTHERFUCKIN GOAT!
FUCK BAD ASS BOB!
HE AIN’T NO GOAT!
Derek I am going to tell you a poem I wrote about Bad Ass Bob. It’s called Assumptions.
[Flop pulls out a piece of paper from his packet.]
Bee is for Bob of the Bad Ass variety.
Don’t ask me why Bob has a Bad Ass.
I don’t know - maybe it’s because of a lack of sobriety.
But feel bad for Bob if that is the case because alcohol is an addiction.
But I am only making an assumption.
He could mean he has a Bad Ass because he has a sore ass.
A by-product of a few too many dicks in.
Stretched sphincter could be painful.
But at the time I'm sure Bob thought it was playful.
But I am only making an assumption.
It could be a Bad Ass because it smells.
Stuck in a room with too many farts.
Like a dutch oven when somebody forget that had a stretched sphincter.
And one of those farts turned into a shart.
But I am only making an assumption.
It could be a Bad Ass all covered in acne.
Too many steroids stuck in his body.
Steroids are bad because they are drugs mmmkay.
But they have a side effect that couldn’t be worse
If he was taken away in a hearse
I guess we know we he’s not called Big Ball Bob
Because Bad Ass Bob
He has a small knob.
But I am only making an assumption.
But Bee is not the only letter for Bad Ass Bob.
But of all the letters in his name he lacks a kay
But he has an oh. And he has two aye’s.
Yet he is missing a double you.
Which means that Bad Ass Bob is not
Keen On All Willie’s.
Oh Flop - don’t be so silly.
You know that Bad Ass Bob likes
Ketchup On A ‘Wurst.
Oh! Or maybe I have heard
He likes Kumquat On A Windowsill.
Ha Ha Cum.
Ha Ha Quat.
Sounds like cum in a twat.
But what if it’s not a twat but a sphincter.
And we are back to Bad Ass Bob.
See I’m Flop and I’m a lateral thinker.
But I am only making an assumption.
Poor Bob. He seems like such a nice guy.
We shouldn’t we his such pain.
That he has to use it in his name.
I must go to the drug store and buy him some cream.
We all know that piles a nasty mean.
They can be caused by constipation.
That is like the opposite of diarrhea.
After a good chili that can burn like gonorrhea.
Poor Bad Ass Bob.
From constipation to diarrhea with a side of gonorrhea.
Especially after chili.
To eat chili like that.
That’s Flop level silly.
But I am only making an assumption.
I could be all wrong about Bad Ass Bob.
He could have diarrhea because he drank too much Zim-Quila.
And he could have got gonorrhea for his wife.
Because a guy named Steven Osbourne did her.
Poor Bad Ass Bob with his very small knob.
He’s had a tough old life.
But I am only making an assumption.
About his wife, not his knob.
I know he has a small knob because of the steroids.
And I know of the steroids because of the butt acne.
And I know of the butt acne because of his farts that turned into sharts.
We know that because he stretched his sphincter.
Because he had to find a way to feel his addiction.
Which was Zim-Quila. It all started because his wife would let him feel her.
But I am only making an assumption.
Or it could all be lies.
He could call himself Bad Ass Bob because he was sick of being below average.
He wanted a tougher name. Something that sounded savage.
If that’s the case.
Fuck you.
I’m Flop.
You’re dead.
I’ve got a goat.
But I’m only making an assumption.
Still.
Fuck you.
I’m Flop.
You’re dead.
I’ve got a goat.
A MOTHERFUCKIN GOAT!
FUCK BAD ASS BOB!
HE AIN’T NO GOAT!