Hello Me, Meet The Real Me (Jacqui M RP vs Addy A)
Jan 19, 2020 19:42:52 GMT -5
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Post by Jacqui M on Jan 19, 2020 19:42:52 GMT -5
Tokyo, Japan
January 19, 2020 6.40AM local time
'Addy...let me tell you a story about a mouthy-ass bitch who got in trouble with the law...'
Tokyo, Japan
Nineteen years earlier
'Shoplifting?! Are you shitting me?!'
Eat a dick, Lou.
'What, so I don't provide for you well enough?! What I got ain't good enough for Little Miss Homeless?'
He don't get it. He just don't get it!
'---I just wan'ed---'
'---excuse me?! Did I say you could talk?! Did I say I was finished?!'
'---naw, I just---'
'—you damn right, I didn't. 'Cause I ain't. I ain't finished. And until I'm finished...you don't start. Capeesh, cupcake?'
Oh shit. I think I done made him mad for real.
'Naw, actually---you know what? You're right. You ought'a have a chance to talk. You ought'a have a chance to explain just what the hell you was thinkin' stealing from a department store!'
---dude. That's the easy part.
'I wan'ed some Pocky.'
'You wanted WHAT?!'
Why so surprised?! He knows I like the shit outta Pocky!
'Pocky. I wan'ed some Pocky. Y'know, them li'l sticks? Yeah. I wan'ed some a' those, an' I ain't have no money...so...'
'...so you just took 'em and ran.'
Yeah! Now he gets it!
'Because obviously that was the best option. Obviously, you couldn't just come up to me and say 'Lou, y'know what? I really want some candy sticks. Can you give me some money for to buy 'em with?''
Yeah. Exactly. Ain't no way I was gon' beg. Not to him, not to nobody.
'---wait, did you take what I just said seriously?!'
'Yeah. An' yer right. That shit ain't right.'
'Kid...I was being sarcastic. That's exactly what you should have done. Come find me at home, and ask me for the money. I would'a gave you some. Hell, I would'a gone out there with you an' helped you pick out a flavor! Sure would'a beat picking you up from the goddamn precinct!'
Yeah, right – dream on, old man.
'Hell with that. I want somethin', I get it myself. I ain't like owin' nobody no favors.'
'Favors? What favors?! You wouldn't'a owed me no goddamn favors! I would'a just gave you the goddamn candy! As a present!'
Yeah, no – fuck that with a bag of dicks, as well.
'Hell no. I ain't take no handouts, neither.'
'Riiiight---other'n bed and board and clean clothes and three square meals a day...'
Wait, bed and board---? What the fuck---?
'Uh---what's that gotta do with anythin'?'
'I'll tell you what it's got to do with anything...you're fine with having all of that from me, ain't'cha?'
'Uh---yeah? What---'
'---well, guess what, cupcakes? Every single one of those is a handout, too. A gift. Ain't nothin' makin' me take you in and let you live with me. I did it – I do it – 'cause I like you, and I want you to be happy. And I ain't ask for nothin' in return but friendship and respect. So if you got such a problem with goddamn handouts that you'd rather disrespect me than ask for my help, best let me know right now, so I can move your things outta the spare room and put up a 'Room to Rent' sign!'
---oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit.
---nah. Ain't no way he does that. He's just tryn'a scare me so I do what he wants or whatever.
---he's sounding like he means it though---
---what if---
---screw it. Shit ain't worth the risk.
'Sorry, Lou. That was kind'a dumb.'
'No shit. Good thing I'm used to this sort of thing from you, huh?'
Wait, what's that s'posed to mean?!
'Hey, fuck you, Lou!'
'Hey—what did we just agree on about respect?!'
Oh yeah. Oops.
'Now—where's the stuff?'
The stuff?!
'The stuff you fuckin' shoplifted. The candy sticks or whatever it was. Where is it?'
Oh. That.
'Five-O gave it back to the dude. Y'know, at the counter?'
'Right. I was gonna make you give it back, but if that's the case---'
Oh shit. He's thinking. Ain't nothing good ever come from him thinking.
'---if that's the case, I think we're just gonna have to swing by there again so you can apologize.'
---called it.
'HELL no. No fucking way!'
'Hell yeah, and yes fucking way. You're going over there to apologise to the folks behind the counter---and you're gonna pay for whatever you were tryin' to take from 'em.'
---say WHAT?!
'Say WHAT?!'
'You heard me, cupcake.'
Aw, hell no! Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit right up the ass!
'That ain't fucking fair! I ain't even keep none a' that shit!'
'Ain't fair, huh?! But what if you would'a kept it? Taken it from them guys without paying for it? You think that would be fair?'
...oh shit...yeah...I ain't thunk of it that way...
'We're way past fair at this point, cupcake. At this point, you're doing damage control. Ain't no way in hell you can turn this around in your favor. Might as well just admit defeat and do the right thing, huh?'
---unnnnnghhhh----
'I---'
---no I ain't wanna don't fuckin' make me I ain't wanna---
'---I gue----'
----unghhhhhh no I ain't wanna I ain't wanna I ain't w---
'---I---guess---'
--aaaaaarrrggghhh fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!!
'Atta girl. That's the spirit!'
---fuck you, Lou! Rub it in, why don't'cha? Prick...
'Tell you what – just for that, I ain't having you clean the dojo every day for a month anymore, like I was plannin' to.'
For real?
Well, guess shit came up Raven in the end after a--
'Just for that...I'm bringing it down to two weeks.'
Wait, WHAT?!
-----oh fu---
Tokyo, Japan
Nineteen Years Later
'---and I did. I cleaned every goddamn inch of that goddamn dojo, every single fucking day, for two weeks straight. And I had to go apologize to the shop dudes. And I had to pay them back. And I never fucking shoplifted in my life, ever again.
Why am I telling you all this? Two reasons. One, to show that getting in trouble with the law doesn't make you a badass – it just makes you come across as a goddamn moron. And two, to show that it's no use trying to win a fight when somebody keeps shutting you down.
Which means, on Monday, you're gonna be nothing but a goddamn moron in a fight she can't win.
Thing is, Addy – you're a hell of a lot like how I used to be. Rough-and-tumble street kid, mouthy, confident, knows how to look after her own ass, takes no shit from no one...hell, I still am that way. And 'cause I am that way, I can read you. I can read you like a book. In fact, I know just what you're thinking right the fuck now. You're thinking you scored an easy handout. Main Eventing on your debut, against some old mop-test bitch with all of one win. Easy lay-up, right?
Wrong.
See, cupcake...this ain't my first rodeo. Hell, this ain't even my second, or my third. I been 'round this ride more times than you've been on some random dude's dick. And I ain't had no handouts, either. I ain't ever walked into a new place and had a red carpet to the Main Event in front of me. Every Main Event I had, I had to work for. But you? You're used to handouts everywhere you go. You're too smug for your own damn good. And on Monday...that's gonna cost you.
Know why, Addy? 'Cause you're not used to working for what you get. You're used to just shit-talking people into running scared from you. Me? I don't scare easy. And I'm used to people shit talking me. Hell, I'm used to people doing worse than shit-talking me. You don't make it twenty years in this goddamn business without taking some licks and getting shat on a few times. The point being, anything you can do to me I've probably already had done to me at some point – and anything you can say to me, I've definitely already heard. Probably gave it right back, as well. All I'm saying is, there's a reason Kid Trunks never stepped up to Future Trunks in Dragon Ball Z...
So the question now is, Addy – what'cha gonna do when you run up against somebody who ain't taking any of your shit, and ain't running away scared when you spit a couple F-bombs at 'em? What'cha gonna do when you run up against somebody who's put in the years, taken the bumps, and learned every goddamn trick in the book, dirty or otherwise?
I'll tell you what you're gonna do – you're gonna assume the position, and submit to the Alpha Bitch.
And I know what you're thinking. I'm all talk, right? I'm sitting here talking trash, putting on this front, but deep down inside, I'm scared of you, 'cause I'm just some workaday nobody and you're you. But lemme ask you this, cupcake – do you know who I am? Do you know what I've done? Or do you look at me and just see a gatekeeper, a mop test? 'Cause if you do...lemme tell you, cupcake...you're in for one hell of a rude awakening.
See, as much as I joke about how I'm rusty, and everyone should be able to beat me and shit...at the end of the day, I'm still a twenty-year veteran. At the end of the day, that's still who you're gonna be getting in the ring with on Monday. And lemme tell you – maybe these days, I am nothing but a gatekeeper...but I'm still the best damn gatekeeper you ever run up against And you still better bust your ass if you wanna get through my gate. You wanna talk about breaking the law? Bitch, in that ring, I AM the law. And maybe I'll be the one breaking you.
Point being, I know you wanna think you're making me Main Event, but Abby...what if it's the other way 'round? What if I'm making you Main Event? See, you're coming off a couple-month run as midcard Champion for a little indie fed nobody ever heard of...me? I spent five minutes as the top Champion of a big mainstream fed everybody's heard of. You tell me who's got the advantage.
Abby...you wanna be Main Event? Give me Main Event. 'Cause that's you're getting from me. And against an Alpha Bitch, if you don't give as good as you get, you're bound to end up where you don't want to be.
At the bottom of the pack.'
FINAL WORD COUNT: 1768 INCLUDING THIS LINE
FINAL WORD COUNT: 1768 INCLUDING THIS LINE