Post by Ned the Intern on Jan 16, 2020 18:53:33 GMT -5
Our adventure begins where the last one left off, with the Schorg Bros in the studio.
"What the hell was that? Damn thing stopped recording."
"I don't know. I was about to hit 'em with the business."
"I can edit it all when we're done. So… where was I?
"Bird lady was talking shit about you being fat."
"Oh… weight limit. Again, she's right. I am over the limit… until it's game time. I have a fool proof routine that'll cut weight by the opening bell. When it's over and we're inevitably victorious… I'll put the weight back on. I have this weird thing where... because I'm five minutes older than Chris… I have to be heavier at all times. Phoenix was right for calling me out. Rules are rules and they were not meant to be broken."
"Bro, don't let her fat shame you. You're beautiful, no matter what they say."
"It's not that at all, Chris. It's just--"
"Not another word, big brother. I will not stand for her disrespecting you. If she came after me, whatevs. I'm too high to give a fuuuuudge right now. Listen up, bird lady! You wanna let Pandypooh out of her boxy box? Let 'er out. Them Schorg Bros wanna do the dance in that squared circle Monday night. I'd love to see you gals try to break our bones. We survived living hell training to become wrestlers… and our father was our trainer. If we could survive him… we can damn sure survive whatever you've got in store for us. Win or lose… we're still brothers… and our bond is eternal. If you lose… can you say the same?"
"Phoenix gave the opportunity to join them… but never explained WHY anyone should join them. What are the benefits of being part of HaVeN? Is there a secret handshake? I guess we'll find out at CruiserClash. I'm intrigued by the whole cult feel of HaVeN… but I'm not a big fan of punch."
"Punch goes great with sandwiches… and I could eat like… ten sandwiches right now."
"Phoenix and… by association, Pandora… are fixated on facing SVS and VHS at Revolution 3… but their immediate focus should be on us. See, the Schorg Bros… well… at least one of us… we do our homework on our competition, further than just accusing them of breaking rules. For instance… I know that Phoenix and Pandora have--”
“They’re a couplaturds, is what my big bro was going to say. They’re walking around doing all their Jim Jones crap, trying to get folks to join whatever it is they’re doing. They’re super vague about their intentions, but apparently they’re going to punish everyone for doing whatever. Naahhhhh. Ricky is the brains of this operation, obviously. That doesn’t mean I haven’t done my homework on Bird Lady and Pandypie. I know all about Reborn… Tease… Deviant of the Night… Haven… Pandora’s Box. They’re all cute moves… but they’re nothing compared to the arsenal we’ve been building our whole lives. Long before we first stepped into the ring with our dad… we knew this was our life’s mission. We were born into this business… not a “bunisess” that Pandorella stumbled upon. They were both in Trinity Wrestling at some point… but whatever momentum they had has fizzled out by now… and they’re going to be up against a harsh reality on Monday when the Schorg Bros roll into Columbus, gunsablazin’.”
“That was… impressive. That is the kind of passion you need to bring along on Monday, Chris. You’re right about them. Their whole routine is too vague to make any kind of difference on CruiserClash. Phoenix goes on about punishing everyone… but… come on… look at them. I’m all for gender equality… but I am not threatened by either of them in any way. Yes, I realize the irony in that statement… because if I were to say that about our sister… she’d piledrive my head off. These two, though… they’re… soft.”
“Soft as fuuuuuuuuuuuuu---”
Das ende. Für echt diesmal.
"What the hell was that? Damn thing stopped recording."
"I don't know. I was about to hit 'em with the business."
"I can edit it all when we're done. So… where was I?
"Bird lady was talking shit about you being fat."
"Oh… weight limit. Again, she's right. I am over the limit… until it's game time. I have a fool proof routine that'll cut weight by the opening bell. When it's over and we're inevitably victorious… I'll put the weight back on. I have this weird thing where... because I'm five minutes older than Chris… I have to be heavier at all times. Phoenix was right for calling me out. Rules are rules and they were not meant to be broken."
"Bro, don't let her fat shame you. You're beautiful, no matter what they say."
"It's not that at all, Chris. It's just--"
"Not another word, big brother. I will not stand for her disrespecting you. If she came after me, whatevs. I'm too high to give a fuuuuudge right now. Listen up, bird lady! You wanna let Pandypooh out of her boxy box? Let 'er out. Them Schorg Bros wanna do the dance in that squared circle Monday night. I'd love to see you gals try to break our bones. We survived living hell training to become wrestlers… and our father was our trainer. If we could survive him… we can damn sure survive whatever you've got in store for us. Win or lose… we're still brothers… and our bond is eternal. If you lose… can you say the same?"
"Phoenix gave the opportunity to join them… but never explained WHY anyone should join them. What are the benefits of being part of HaVeN? Is there a secret handshake? I guess we'll find out at CruiserClash. I'm intrigued by the whole cult feel of HaVeN… but I'm not a big fan of punch."
"Punch goes great with sandwiches… and I could eat like… ten sandwiches right now."
"Phoenix and… by association, Pandora… are fixated on facing SVS and VHS at Revolution 3… but their immediate focus should be on us. See, the Schorg Bros… well… at least one of us… we do our homework on our competition, further than just accusing them of breaking rules. For instance… I know that Phoenix and Pandora have--”
“They’re a couplaturds, is what my big bro was going to say. They’re walking around doing all their Jim Jones crap, trying to get folks to join whatever it is they’re doing. They’re super vague about their intentions, but apparently they’re going to punish everyone for doing whatever. Naahhhhh. Ricky is the brains of this operation, obviously. That doesn’t mean I haven’t done my homework on Bird Lady and Pandypie. I know all about Reborn… Tease… Deviant of the Night… Haven… Pandora’s Box. They’re all cute moves… but they’re nothing compared to the arsenal we’ve been building our whole lives. Long before we first stepped into the ring with our dad… we knew this was our life’s mission. We were born into this business… not a “bunisess” that Pandorella stumbled upon. They were both in Trinity Wrestling at some point… but whatever momentum they had has fizzled out by now… and they’re going to be up against a harsh reality on Monday when the Schorg Bros roll into Columbus, gunsablazin’.”
“That was… impressive. That is the kind of passion you need to bring along on Monday, Chris. You’re right about them. Their whole routine is too vague to make any kind of difference on CruiserClash. Phoenix goes on about punishing everyone… but… come on… look at them. I’m all for gender equality… but I am not threatened by either of them in any way. Yes, I realize the irony in that statement… because if I were to say that about our sister… she’d piledrive my head off. These two, though… they’re… soft.”
“Soft as fuuuuuuuuuuuuu---”
Das ende. Für echt diesmal.