Career Suicide Chap 1
Jan 8, 2020 20:40:16 GMT -5
Claire Hawkins, Estrella Luiz ✨, and 4 more like this
Post by Kennedy Matthews on Jan 8, 2020 20:40:16 GMT -5
Life sucks sometimes, well, a lot of the time. Many times we think we can escape it and we can't. The struggles of life are inevitable. Whoever claims they aren't simply has no heart or are just too wrapped up in other things to see it. I acted as if everything was ok but deep down inside, I was dying. Not literally or physically but my love for this sport and my love for myself were slowly fading into the dark abyss of failure. Many had seen it but I had not allowed myself to see it. Maybe Estrella was right. Maybe this sport had passed me by.
"No!" I screamed aloud as I sat up waking up from another gut-wrenching nightmare. Sadie, had succumbed to her battle with life. Her demise had come and gone and I had never felt so alone. Mum had holed herself up in the house. Within a year she lost her husband and her eldest child. I was the least of her worries and rightfully so. I hadn't been the best daughter. It was like everything around me was failing. "Then, I had to come to rescue Razzles from Illumignarly and I had to stop, in that moment as I helped Razzles to her feet and ask myself, would she have done this same for me? Quite honestly, I didn't know the answer and I probably didn't want to know. iGnarly and the "Cool Kids" as Vayden, Estrella, and Geri were calling themselves, had set a dangerous precedent in this business. They are a solid unit and this week they get to do battle with myself, Razzles, and Jacqui Monroe. Was there ever such a random team thrown together? I mean sure, Razzles and I had formed a friendship but in recent weeks I hadn't been there for her and she probably hated me. I wouldn't blame her really. Sure, my sister was dying and I couldn't be there for that reason. I constantly was asking myself, had I done everything I could for my friends and the answer was a resounding and unanimous, no. Razzles had been the victim to Estrella week in and week out and all I cared about was myself. Maybe I am not ready emotionally to come back, maybe I never will be. Maybe I needed to realize that I just had too much going on to do my job right and to care about this sport right now. Maybe I needed to step away. What would that prove though? It would prove Estrella Luiz right and I will be damned if I let that little witch be proven right in anything."
I stood up, the covers still wrapped around my body. I hadn't been myself lately. I had lost twenty pounds and it was all out of not eating. I had not been working out and yet I expected to step in the ring with the tag team champions and the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion of all time? I had to get back into my zone. As I walked, the weakness of lack of nourishment overcame me as I dropped to the floor convulsing a bit. In my last-ditch effort I hit the Emergency call button on my cell phone. I blacked out on the floor.
I awoke to the sounds of beeping ringing in my ears. I looked around, my vision still a bit hazy as I saw all the machines hooked up to me. The hospital, a sight I hated seeing as the last time I was in a hospital, my sister died in front of me. I held my ears as I screamed out. I ripped the IV out of my arm as the nurses rushed in screaming. "Miss Matthews. You need to calm down!"
I kept struggling. FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU! The lot of ya can fuck off. I need out of here. I won't go out as my sister did."
Needless to say, my blood pressure was through the roof. The nurses were finally able to wrestle me down and strap me down. They couldn't take any chances. I was a flight risk. I was a danger to myself and possibly others. I didn't even recognize myself anymore. Estrella had won the first big psychological battle. I attempted to breathe as the nurses were able to start another IV. A knock followed by a familiar voice.
"How are ya feeling?" It was Lissie Hope
My eyes darted over as I hadn't really heard from her in a bit. I shook my head weakly. "Not good honestly. I am just not fit to be here anymore. I am simply done."
It was like I had told Lissie I was going to kill myself as she stood by my bedside. "Like hell you are!"
"Lissie, I mean in wrestling. I am not good enough to be in this business anymore. With Sadie gone, I have no one on my side. Now I have to prepare for the match with Illumignarly and I just truly don't want to do it. I am just going to let everyone down. I am just not going to do it anymore."
Lissie snapped again. "What has gotten into you lately, huh? You were mere moments away from a World Title just a couple of months ago. You and Estrella have a little argument and boom you forget who you are? You both need to get your shit together. We were supposed to be friends for life. Now you are laid up in a hospital bed looking like a dying cancer patient and Estrella is running around like she is better than everyone. I am still friends with you both so get your shit together and then get at me."
Lissie drops a picture frame on my stomach and walks out. I picked the picture up. It was the Royal Family, all four of us, from the night we became a team. It was the last time I felt right at all. I shook my head as I spoke again. "Perhaps, Lissie is right but I know what I feel in my heart. Illumignarly this battle isn't yours. Razzles, Jacqui this is not your fight either. This battle will culminate in me and Estrella one on one inside the squared circle. Estrella, I don't care if you are still the Television Champion or not. At Evolution 3 it will be me vs you... in a ladder match. I will put my contract high in the sky and if you beat me, I will retire from wrestling. If I win, you will have to ADMIT that I am simply better than you, my friend. You will have to look me in the eye and say "Kennedy Matthews is better than me" even if just for that one night Estrella. Illumignarly and the Cool Kids can't hide you forever. You have to be the center of attention. I know this better than anyone as I have seen it for fifteen God damn years! It is always the same with you. You get tired of someone, you push them aside. Ask Robert. Ask Tommy. How long before Link suffers the same fate? What about Geri and Derrick? How long before you ship your old toys to a daycare somewhere to get mutilated simply because you don't want to play with them anymore? Estrella you will forever be the same spoiled little BITCH I have always known you to be. Your whole family is the same. I may not be myself right now but you can bet your ass come Evolution, I will be. It may very well be my last match but I will do anything it takes to end you and your family's reign of Terror in this business. I will stop you because no one else has the balls to show you the error of your ways. I may not be your keeper but I can damn sure end you. I will make damn sure that you know you have been in a war. Wesley, Vayden, Shadows, keep protecting her and I will damn well go through you all to get to her. Kennedy Matthews is not the bitch you want to fuck with. I am not doing this for the Royal Family. I am not doing this for the Matthews family. I am doing this to stop that little monster before she can do to you all what she did to me. Estrella, I am coming for you, ya fucking psychotic TWAT!"
My machines beeped like crazy as the nurses rushed in. "Help! We need to push fifteen of epi, STAT!"
I felt like I was committing suicide but was it simply suicide of my career or was it my very being at stake. Only time would tell. My eyes closed as the doors closed shutting the camera crews out. The final words "We won't lose her!" echoed as I passed out.
My rage could also be my folly!
"No!" I screamed aloud as I sat up waking up from another gut-wrenching nightmare. Sadie, had succumbed to her battle with life. Her demise had come and gone and I had never felt so alone. Mum had holed herself up in the house. Within a year she lost her husband and her eldest child. I was the least of her worries and rightfully so. I hadn't been the best daughter. It was like everything around me was failing. "Then, I had to come to rescue Razzles from Illumignarly and I had to stop, in that moment as I helped Razzles to her feet and ask myself, would she have done this same for me? Quite honestly, I didn't know the answer and I probably didn't want to know. iGnarly and the "Cool Kids" as Vayden, Estrella, and Geri were calling themselves, had set a dangerous precedent in this business. They are a solid unit and this week they get to do battle with myself, Razzles, and Jacqui Monroe. Was there ever such a random team thrown together? I mean sure, Razzles and I had formed a friendship but in recent weeks I hadn't been there for her and she probably hated me. I wouldn't blame her really. Sure, my sister was dying and I couldn't be there for that reason. I constantly was asking myself, had I done everything I could for my friends and the answer was a resounding and unanimous, no. Razzles had been the victim to Estrella week in and week out and all I cared about was myself. Maybe I am not ready emotionally to come back, maybe I never will be. Maybe I needed to realize that I just had too much going on to do my job right and to care about this sport right now. Maybe I needed to step away. What would that prove though? It would prove Estrella Luiz right and I will be damned if I let that little witch be proven right in anything."
I stood up, the covers still wrapped around my body. I hadn't been myself lately. I had lost twenty pounds and it was all out of not eating. I had not been working out and yet I expected to step in the ring with the tag team champions and the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion of all time? I had to get back into my zone. As I walked, the weakness of lack of nourishment overcame me as I dropped to the floor convulsing a bit. In my last-ditch effort I hit the Emergency call button on my cell phone. I blacked out on the floor.
I awoke to the sounds of beeping ringing in my ears. I looked around, my vision still a bit hazy as I saw all the machines hooked up to me. The hospital, a sight I hated seeing as the last time I was in a hospital, my sister died in front of me. I held my ears as I screamed out. I ripped the IV out of my arm as the nurses rushed in screaming. "Miss Matthews. You need to calm down!"
I kept struggling. FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU! The lot of ya can fuck off. I need out of here. I won't go out as my sister did."
Needless to say, my blood pressure was through the roof. The nurses were finally able to wrestle me down and strap me down. They couldn't take any chances. I was a flight risk. I was a danger to myself and possibly others. I didn't even recognize myself anymore. Estrella had won the first big psychological battle. I attempted to breathe as the nurses were able to start another IV. A knock followed by a familiar voice.
"How are ya feeling?" It was Lissie Hope
My eyes darted over as I hadn't really heard from her in a bit. I shook my head weakly. "Not good honestly. I am just not fit to be here anymore. I am simply done."
It was like I had told Lissie I was going to kill myself as she stood by my bedside. "Like hell you are!"
"Lissie, I mean in wrestling. I am not good enough to be in this business anymore. With Sadie gone, I have no one on my side. Now I have to prepare for the match with Illumignarly and I just truly don't want to do it. I am just going to let everyone down. I am just not going to do it anymore."
Lissie snapped again. "What has gotten into you lately, huh? You were mere moments away from a World Title just a couple of months ago. You and Estrella have a little argument and boom you forget who you are? You both need to get your shit together. We were supposed to be friends for life. Now you are laid up in a hospital bed looking like a dying cancer patient and Estrella is running around like she is better than everyone. I am still friends with you both so get your shit together and then get at me."
Lissie drops a picture frame on my stomach and walks out. I picked the picture up. It was the Royal Family, all four of us, from the night we became a team. It was the last time I felt right at all. I shook my head as I spoke again. "Perhaps, Lissie is right but I know what I feel in my heart. Illumignarly this battle isn't yours. Razzles, Jacqui this is not your fight either. This battle will culminate in me and Estrella one on one inside the squared circle. Estrella, I don't care if you are still the Television Champion or not. At Evolution 3 it will be me vs you... in a ladder match. I will put my contract high in the sky and if you beat me, I will retire from wrestling. If I win, you will have to ADMIT that I am simply better than you, my friend. You will have to look me in the eye and say "Kennedy Matthews is better than me" even if just for that one night Estrella. Illumignarly and the Cool Kids can't hide you forever. You have to be the center of attention. I know this better than anyone as I have seen it for fifteen God damn years! It is always the same with you. You get tired of someone, you push them aside. Ask Robert. Ask Tommy. How long before Link suffers the same fate? What about Geri and Derrick? How long before you ship your old toys to a daycare somewhere to get mutilated simply because you don't want to play with them anymore? Estrella you will forever be the same spoiled little BITCH I have always known you to be. Your whole family is the same. I may not be myself right now but you can bet your ass come Evolution, I will be. It may very well be my last match but I will do anything it takes to end you and your family's reign of Terror in this business. I will stop you because no one else has the balls to show you the error of your ways. I may not be your keeper but I can damn sure end you. I will make damn sure that you know you have been in a war. Wesley, Vayden, Shadows, keep protecting her and I will damn well go through you all to get to her. Kennedy Matthews is not the bitch you want to fuck with. I am not doing this for the Royal Family. I am not doing this for the Matthews family. I am doing this to stop that little monster before she can do to you all what she did to me. Estrella, I am coming for you, ya fucking psychotic TWAT!"
My machines beeped like crazy as the nurses rushed in. "Help! We need to push fifteen of epi, STAT!"
I felt like I was committing suicide but was it simply suicide of my career or was it my very being at stake. Only time would tell. My eyes closed as the doors closed shutting the camera crews out. The final words "We won't lose her!" echoed as I passed out.
My rage could also be my folly!