Post by Stepan Malikov on Jan 7, 2020 17:32:21 GMT -5
*Video Start*
'The following message is brought you by Stepan Malikov, sponsored by Malikovs Microwaves, home of the patented Malikov Turbowave 4000, the most powerful microwave on the market, for only fifty bucks, what a steal'
Cut to Stepan standing in front green screen, a cheesy grin on his face.
"Hello ladies and gentleman, and welcome back to the breakdown, the only show where you can find yours truly breaking down his upcoming matches, and as you can see behind me, thanks to the success of episode one we have upgraded production quite a bit".
He then pulls out a small remote and presses a button, instantly changing the background into footage of the battle royal from clash.
"Now as you all probably saw, I unfortunately didn't win on Monday, but that's in the past now, we must always look to the future".
He presses the button again, the background changing to a picture of Stepan shaking Tony Romos hand.
"But before that I want to give a special shout out to the legend himself, Tony Romo, who came to me after the match to praise my performance and give me some very useful advice, so big thanks to him, moving on".
He presses the button again, changing the to a picture of Kevin Bishop.
"Next week I have a one on one match with this man, Kevin Bishop, now unfortunately once again I have no clue who my opponent is, but after taking some advice from my number one frenemie in the world Carnivore, I did some research, which basically equals I looked at his roster page on the Action Wrestling website".
Another press of the button, Bishops roster page appearing behind him.
"So what do we have, he has a lot of nicknames, which is always a bad sign as they are usually self given, very embarrassing indeed, but what really sticks out to me are the 'former achievements' emphasis on former".
"This is very obviously a man who lives in the past, feeding off of his former glory, holding on to what little relevance he has left, a sad state, pitiful even".
"Here's a new flash Bishop, no one cares what you have done in the past, i'm not impressed or intimidated by the fact that you've won meaningless titles in companies i've never heard off, I don't care if you lead 'possibly the most dangerous group of well trained fighters and wrestlers'. It all means nothing to me, you can call yourself a king but what have you shown me to prove it, before we were matched up I hadn't even heard of you".
"Kevin, and I hope you are seeing this. I want you to know just how insignificant you are to me and the rest of the Action Wrestling fans, how little you really matter in the grand scheme of things. These past couple of days i've been engaging in a little war of words with our resident lonely girl, Razzy Wazzy, and not once during the whole thing did anyone remember I was facing you on Monday, you are such and afterthought that most fans just assumed I wasn't on the show, and I was trying to hype up my next match with Razzy, it wasn't until the dust cleared that everyone checked the card and saw my name next to yours that they remembered you exist".
"So you may ask yourself Kevin, am I looking past you, the answer is yes, you are of no importance to me or anyone, all you are is a means to and end, a stepping stone to what i'm actually focused on, my battle with Razzy".
Stepan sighs loudly, rubbing his temples.
"I'm rambling, look Kevin i'l be quick, this Monday at Clash, don't be surprised when you show up and no one bats an eye, don't be discouraged if Adilene forgets your name, and please after I beat you, don't be shocked that you never get booked again as you fall back into obscurity".
Stepan pushes the button one more time, the Malikov Microwave store page coming up, Stepan immediately reverting back into his cheesy self.
"And don't you forget Action Wrestling fans, that if you use the code 'RAZZYWAZZY' you get fifteen percent off your next purchase, that's code 'RAZZYWAZZY' all caps, in honor of everyone's favorite punching bag, hey Razzy don't you worry, after i'm done with whats his face, we can have our little dance, i'm can't wait to see what an adorable little bean like yourself can bring to the table, but that's all the time we have for today folks, have a great evening and see you next week".
'Use code RAZZYWAZZY for fifteen percent off your next purchase of a Turbowave 4000, this code lasts until I get my match with her so act fast'
Cut to Black.
*Video End*
The scene opens on Stepan sitting in a white void, surronded by nothingness. His eyes are closed, face scrunched up, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
He stays like this for seemingly hours, though keeping gauge of time is hard to do here.
Finally he opens his eyes, a mouth contorts into a confident smirk.
"Oi, Stepan two, get in here" he shouts.
Slowly in front of him, another Stepan begins to materialize.
"Stop calling me that" the other Stepan deadpans, stretching his legs.
"Well then what should I call you then"?
"Let's just go with our middle name, Borya".
"Alright Borya, I called you here because I want your opinion on what i've been doing".
"I assume your talking about your so called 'war of words' with miss Mars".
"Yeah, pretty smart huh" Stepan says, grinning.
"I fail to see how this is smart".
"Well you see, after I lost in the battle royal I had a little talk with Tony Romo, and he told me that while i'm gaining popularity I should try and find someone to catapult off of".
"Huh, not bad advice, but why chose Razzles".
"Because if I tried this shit with someone higher up I would just look stupid, could you imagine the ridicule I would receive if I tried this on Walter or Odin, no I had to chose someone who is hot right now, but not to far out of my league".
"My my Stepan, I didn't expect such logical thinking from you".
"Shut up, i'm capable of thinking all smart, I just find it boring most of the time, there's nothing more fun then flying by the seat of your pants".
"But in doing so you haven't had much success, you need to be better Stepan, we both know you can be".
"Yeah yeah, I didn't ask for the lecture, how are we the same person".
"It does boggle the mind sometimes yes, so what's the next step".
"Well after I beat whoever the fuck on Monday i'l hopefully get my match with Razzy Wazzy, beat her and then try and insert myself into a title picture, which one i'm not sure yet though".
"Well world title is out of the picture, and I doubt you want to face Estrella, so that leaves the Hardcore and U.S".
"Meh, i'll work it out later, i need a nap"
.
"You are napping, how else would you be here".
"No, I mean a nap were i'm actually asleep, not fucking around in here with you".
Borya shrugs and melts away as Stepan lies back and closes his eyes.
*Two Days Later*
The sound of a phone ringing floods the darkened room.
Stepan slowly sits up, empty beer cans falling off his body, bleary eyed he looks for his phone, finding it under a rolled up poster of himself.
Grabbing it he sighs, before answering it.
"It's three in the fucking morning this better be important" he growls.
Slowly his face morphs in confusion, before settling into annoyance.
"Tell me everything that happened" he sighs.
Stepan sits and listens for twenty minutes before finally hanging up.
"Kakoye der'movoye nachalo" he mumbles, slowly making his way into his living room and turning on the TV.
"Breaking news, Current NASCAR front runner Henry Key has had a tragic car accident tonight, we unfortunately have to report that he has passed away, our sincere condolences to his family and friends".
Stepan turns the TV off and sits silently in his living room, not bothering to turn any lights on.
"God damn it, now I have to find some other prisoska to sponsor" he groans out before grabbing his keys and walking out the door.
'The following message is brought you by Stepan Malikov, sponsored by Malikovs Microwaves, home of the patented Malikov Turbowave 4000, the most powerful microwave on the market, for only fifty bucks, what a steal'
Cut to Stepan standing in front green screen, a cheesy grin on his face.
"Hello ladies and gentleman, and welcome back to the breakdown, the only show where you can find yours truly breaking down his upcoming matches, and as you can see behind me, thanks to the success of episode one we have upgraded production quite a bit".
He then pulls out a small remote and presses a button, instantly changing the background into footage of the battle royal from clash.
"Now as you all probably saw, I unfortunately didn't win on Monday, but that's in the past now, we must always look to the future".
He presses the button again, the background changing to a picture of Stepan shaking Tony Romos hand.
"But before that I want to give a special shout out to the legend himself, Tony Romo, who came to me after the match to praise my performance and give me some very useful advice, so big thanks to him, moving on".
He presses the button again, changing the to a picture of Kevin Bishop.
"Next week I have a one on one match with this man, Kevin Bishop, now unfortunately once again I have no clue who my opponent is, but after taking some advice from my number one frenemie in the world Carnivore, I did some research, which basically equals I looked at his roster page on the Action Wrestling website".
Another press of the button, Bishops roster page appearing behind him.
"So what do we have, he has a lot of nicknames, which is always a bad sign as they are usually self given, very embarrassing indeed, but what really sticks out to me are the 'former achievements' emphasis on former".
"This is very obviously a man who lives in the past, feeding off of his former glory, holding on to what little relevance he has left, a sad state, pitiful even".
"Here's a new flash Bishop, no one cares what you have done in the past, i'm not impressed or intimidated by the fact that you've won meaningless titles in companies i've never heard off, I don't care if you lead 'possibly the most dangerous group of well trained fighters and wrestlers'. It all means nothing to me, you can call yourself a king but what have you shown me to prove it, before we were matched up I hadn't even heard of you".
"Kevin, and I hope you are seeing this. I want you to know just how insignificant you are to me and the rest of the Action Wrestling fans, how little you really matter in the grand scheme of things. These past couple of days i've been engaging in a little war of words with our resident lonely girl, Razzy Wazzy, and not once during the whole thing did anyone remember I was facing you on Monday, you are such and afterthought that most fans just assumed I wasn't on the show, and I was trying to hype up my next match with Razzy, it wasn't until the dust cleared that everyone checked the card and saw my name next to yours that they remembered you exist".
"So you may ask yourself Kevin, am I looking past you, the answer is yes, you are of no importance to me or anyone, all you are is a means to and end, a stepping stone to what i'm actually focused on, my battle with Razzy".
Stepan sighs loudly, rubbing his temples.
"I'm rambling, look Kevin i'l be quick, this Monday at Clash, don't be surprised when you show up and no one bats an eye, don't be discouraged if Adilene forgets your name, and please after I beat you, don't be shocked that you never get booked again as you fall back into obscurity".
Stepan pushes the button one more time, the Malikov Microwave store page coming up, Stepan immediately reverting back into his cheesy self.
"And don't you forget Action Wrestling fans, that if you use the code 'RAZZYWAZZY' you get fifteen percent off your next purchase, that's code 'RAZZYWAZZY' all caps, in honor of everyone's favorite punching bag, hey Razzy don't you worry, after i'm done with whats his face, we can have our little dance, i'm can't wait to see what an adorable little bean like yourself can bring to the table, but that's all the time we have for today folks, have a great evening and see you next week".
'Use code RAZZYWAZZY for fifteen percent off your next purchase of a Turbowave 4000, this code lasts until I get my match with her so act fast'
Cut to Black.
*Video End*
The scene opens on Stepan sitting in a white void, surronded by nothingness. His eyes are closed, face scrunched up, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
He stays like this for seemingly hours, though keeping gauge of time is hard to do here.
Finally he opens his eyes, a mouth contorts into a confident smirk.
"Oi, Stepan two, get in here" he shouts.
Slowly in front of him, another Stepan begins to materialize.
"Stop calling me that" the other Stepan deadpans, stretching his legs.
"Well then what should I call you then"?
"Let's just go with our middle name, Borya".
"Alright Borya, I called you here because I want your opinion on what i've been doing".
"I assume your talking about your so called 'war of words' with miss Mars".
"Yeah, pretty smart huh" Stepan says, grinning.
"I fail to see how this is smart".
"Well you see, after I lost in the battle royal I had a little talk with Tony Romo, and he told me that while i'm gaining popularity I should try and find someone to catapult off of".
"Huh, not bad advice, but why chose Razzles".
"Because if I tried this shit with someone higher up I would just look stupid, could you imagine the ridicule I would receive if I tried this on Walter or Odin, no I had to chose someone who is hot right now, but not to far out of my league".
"My my Stepan, I didn't expect such logical thinking from you".
"Shut up, i'm capable of thinking all smart, I just find it boring most of the time, there's nothing more fun then flying by the seat of your pants".
"But in doing so you haven't had much success, you need to be better Stepan, we both know you can be".
"Yeah yeah, I didn't ask for the lecture, how are we the same person".
"It does boggle the mind sometimes yes, so what's the next step".
"Well after I beat whoever the fuck on Monday i'l hopefully get my match with Razzy Wazzy, beat her and then try and insert myself into a title picture, which one i'm not sure yet though".
"Well world title is out of the picture, and I doubt you want to face Estrella, so that leaves the Hardcore and U.S".
"Meh, i'll work it out later, i need a nap"
.
"You are napping, how else would you be here".
"No, I mean a nap were i'm actually asleep, not fucking around in here with you".
Borya shrugs and melts away as Stepan lies back and closes his eyes.
*Two Days Later*
The sound of a phone ringing floods the darkened room.
Stepan slowly sits up, empty beer cans falling off his body, bleary eyed he looks for his phone, finding it under a rolled up poster of himself.
Grabbing it he sighs, before answering it.
"It's three in the fucking morning this better be important" he growls.
Slowly his face morphs in confusion, before settling into annoyance.
"Tell me everything that happened" he sighs.
Stepan sits and listens for twenty minutes before finally hanging up.
"Kakoye der'movoye nachalo" he mumbles, slowly making his way into his living room and turning on the TV.
"Breaking news, Current NASCAR front runner Henry Key has had a tragic car accident tonight, we unfortunately have to report that he has passed away, our sincere condolences to his family and friends".
Stepan turns the TV off and sits silently in his living room, not bothering to turn any lights on.
"God damn it, now I have to find some other prisoska to sponsor" he groans out before grabbing his keys and walking out the door.