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Post by Psycho Vulcan Sentai (Kaz) on Jan 4, 2020 15:37:30 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2020 18:50:47 GMT -5
Short Answer: You're work proposes mystery and shadows that draw me in from multiple directions.
Expanded thoughts: I want to see more agency in those carrying the opening scene - a lazy way of saying give their voice more impact presented via lazies gripes. Pace, however, benefited from brevity in this case, further enhancing SVS and the mystery of his purpose. I sense great darkness that is slowly seeping out of little cracks. Keep widening the cracks and we'll be aghast at what you more SVS can do in this wildfire of a division.
Final thoughts for improvement: Get more umph from voice work, slow down middling paragraphs for greater effect, and finally, keep the mystery of his purpose in a clearer place so that fans (us, more inclusively) can follow the arc you're rolling up into a giant snowball.
- keep killing it, and I have nothing for your review, so call this one a freebie.
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Post by Psycho Vulcan Sentai (Kaz) on Jan 5, 2020 15:03:20 GMT -5
Thank you, Simard! I appreciate you taking the time to respond and it’s definitely given me some stuff to chew on for my next outing as SVS. I’m looking forward to your work and what you bring to the table in Action Wrestling.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2020 16:51:56 GMT -5
No mysteries here though, it's just ole' Lester enjoying a piece of that CW pie. GL!
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