Post by Damian Kaine on Mar 18, 2018 22:39:30 GMT -5
“Somebody better call the law.
We done took it outside, we’re about to brawl.
Ol’ Boy done put his hands on a woman
Where I come from, son, the next thing comin’ is an
Ass whooping in the parking lot,
‘Bout to drop this fool right in front of the cops.
And I ain’t even gonna run.
I’m proud of what I’ve done. Yeah, read me my rights!”
It’s kinda funny to me. To think that, three years ago, not a damn one of us had been on the tv. Well, except that one time cousin Rocko was on Cops, but we don’t associate with that part of my family, so that’s a whole ‘nother story. Well, anyway, here it is. March 19, 2018. And I’m about to step into a wrestling ring on national television for only the third time in my life. And Cousin D has been in a ring more times than I can count.
Hey there. My name’s Lachlan Rhodes. You’re probably wonderin’ how a good, Christian southern boy like me wound up steppin’ into that squared circle for Action Wrestling. Ain’t that a funny story? It all started A few weeks ago at a local bar.
February 20, 2018
McAllister’s Bar
22:34
The night had been windin’ down to an end. A collective group of thugs surrounded the two pool table in the joint, and me? I was just sittin’ in my stool, lookin’ over as the gang played their games. At this point in time, there wasn’t much to do. Work was slow, so they went and let me off early. Bein’ home was tough since Willow left. So here I am.
“Last call.” Turnin’ to meet the normal barkeep, I came eye to eye with the most gorgeous woman I think I’ve ever laid eyes on. Before me stood a short-statured, brown-haired girl. “Did ya hear me, man?”
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I did. Uh.. Who-? Where? I thought that James worked on Tuesdays.”
“James got let go, sad to say. He was a nice guy. He just let his vices get the better of him. You a regular around here?” Her voice reminded me of that elf girl from Lord of the Rings. Soft and sweet.
“Yeah.. Name’s Lachlan. Pleasure to meet you…”
“Elyse. Elyse Ackles. And I don’t know why I just gave you my last name.” She started to scrub the bar like there was blood on it.
“Ya good there, Darlin’?” She said nothin’. Just kept scrubbin’ the bar. It honestly started to feel awkward as all hell. “Well… I should probably get goin’.” I got up from my stool and started my walk to the exit.
“Hey toots. How about you gives us a few free drinks.” I was ‘bout to the exit when I heard the voice behind me. I stopped dead, without turnin’ ‘round.
“You know I can’t do that Eddie.” Her voice sounded a bit… how do ya say… edgy. I could tell she wa’nt feelin’ safe.
“Sure ya can, Doll. It’s either that or we take the free drinks and leave yer pretty little face all bloody. How ya feel ‘bout that?” Eddie sounded braver, like he hadn’t just wasted half a grand on the billiards table. The air was dead silent for a few seconds, then I heard a loud bang and the wimperin’ of the angel I had just met. I couldn’t just let this here fly.
“Hey, fella.” I caught eyes with Eddie as I turned. “How come you don’t just ask yer friend right there for the payment. Judgin’ by how bad he just whupped your ass in pool, i’m pretty damn sure you ain’t gotta hound this little angel right here for free anything.”
Eddie seemed a bit peeved. He had Elyse’s arm with an iron grip. “Oh yeah? Well how about this. How about I take the drinks, beat YOUR ass, then take this little girlie out back and let my boys have their way.” I looked over at Elyse, her eyes pleadin’ for help. I haven’t hurt anybody in a long time. But I reckon all good things must come to an end.
We looked into each other’s eyes. I started walkin’ towards ‘em and two men jumped in my way. “What, you gon’ be a weasel, Eddie? Gon’ let your boys do the fightin’ while you run yer trap?”
The plan succeed. He let go of Elyse’s arm and moved the two men, immediately swingin’ a hard punch. I ducked and grabbed his elbow, before contortin’ it around his body and pinnin’ his arm to his back. His boys tried to nab me so I shoved Eddie away just in time to be grabbed by his friend. Eddie stood straight back up and took a great big swing as I was grappled. I could feel a few drips of blood trickle down my lip, but I looked back at him and I smiled. I smiled wider than the damn Gulf of Mexico. I kicked my grappler in the groin, makin’ him drop me. I grabbed the other by his arm and slung him straight into one of the tables. Eddie eyed me like a 12oz ribeye and came runnin. He speared me down to the ground, and we rolled ‘round a bit. I found myself on top, knockin’ this dude in the face, when three cops came barrelin into the bar. They aimed their guns at me.
“Sir, get off of the man. Get on your feet with your hands in the air.”
I took a bit of a breath and got up, kickin’ Eddie one last time before doin’ what the police said. They took me out to the car and drove me up to the station, where I stayed for a few days.
But the reason I’m tellin’ all y’all this:
When I was locked up in that slammer, with the biggest smile on my face, I got two phone calls. One was from Elyse, the lady from the bar. We had plans to meet when I got out. We’re still in touch now.
But the second was from my cousin.
Damian Kaine.
I haven’t talked to Dame in a while, since he became all Mr. Hollywood Hotshot, but he gave me a call sayin’ he had a good idea. He told me he knew how I could get my anger out. So here I am, AW. Front and center. Right behind the curtain for my debut match. And you bet your sweet Southern cookin’ that this is gonna be a damn good match.