Dear journal (CW 699 'words')
Nov 22, 2019 15:12:23 GMT -5
Torture, “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley, and 4 more like this
Post by Psychopomp on Nov 22, 2019 15:12:23 GMT -5
(The feeds on an old computer screen booting up ‘Microsoft ME’. We hear the fan from the old machine buzzing loudly as the see dust particles dances in the air. The little cursor now move over the Netscape icon to log into a website and starts typing)
Dear Live journal,
Hey it’s me! You’re best friend Pomp. It’s been so long since I wrote in you but stupid fake cryogenic sleep can do that to a guy. So much has happened but we can talk about that another day. Last few weeks made me a sad panda Live journal, but today is a happy panda day. I finally made my way back to the brotherhood camp to get my stuff.
Why you ask? Didn’t I tell you that I’m going to be wrestling again?!
*silence*
No?! Since the fortune of my Naked Yoga Empire is frozen, I had to find work Luckily my old friend FPV was able to get me work in Action Wrestling! Thank god I didn’t have to pass a physical. I lost so much weight when they kept me sedated all those years. I found some bobby pins and Velcro to hold up my pants during my next match. I have no ass anymore Live journal! I lost my money maker! NO!NO! No more sad panda Pomp! No more! You have a match at the next show! You can do it!
And I’ll be making a lot of new friends this week, I’ll have three partners! I don’t really remember their names…I think one of them is a Power Ranger (that’s so cool, I hope we can practice a pose before the match), the other a Cyborg I think? And the other is another rich guy like me! You can’t beat that! A Transforming cyboring money throwing team! Unstoppable. I feel bad about the other team.
I have a riddle for you Live Journal! What does an old q-tips, a defunct viewing medium, a knock-off Mexican spider-man and a pretty innocent girl? Do you know?
*stops typing for a few seconds, in hope for a response*
Give up? I’ll tell you! LOSING! That’s what they’ll all have in common next Sunday! LOSING! HA! I’m hilarious. I didn’t really want to look into them so I just looked at the pictures that were faxed to me here. Judging from the quality of the pictures we have nothing to be worried about. Q (tip)DT face looks like a smudge broccoli that was steamed for too long in a Malikov microwave! Or one of those ugly weekly monsters that the Power Rangers would beat every Saturday morning on Global TV. My own Super Sentai will easily defeating him with his awesome moves and powerful choreography!
And my Yo-kai Watch friend will gladly sidekick that little nuisance of a masked spider! Why does he wear a mask? Probably to hide his ugly 8 eyed face! Even on this poorly faxed piece of paper I can CLEARLY see Live Journal that he’s hiding extra eyes under that ridiculous mask of his. But all this extra spidery sense will do is being even MORE blinded by Bukkaki’s secret mist, DIRECTLY IN THE EYES! AH! That 8 eyed freak won’t know what hit him.
*stops typing and hears some paper rustling*
Mmmm noodle soup. Remember that FRIENDS episode where Joey had to eat soup? Classic. What I’m getting at is that the Soup man will take any mean necessary to make sure that Kitty doesn’t get the upper hand in the match. Sure her pretty face, well I imagine that her face is pretty, I pulled on the sheet while it was faxing and her face is just like a zebra but I’m sure she is wow this is getting to be a really long sentence concentrate, hey what a pretty bird!
Where was I? VHS! YOU SHALL BE MINE BETA KILLER! So many Delta Force Betamax that I had to throw away because of you! I’ll bury you deeper than those E.T. Atari games that no one wants to see again because of how horrible they were! I AM SO MAD! I NEED TEA!
Love you Live Journal
Bye
Pompy
Dear Live journal,
Hey it’s me! You’re best friend Pomp. It’s been so long since I wrote in you but stupid fake cryogenic sleep can do that to a guy. So much has happened but we can talk about that another day. Last few weeks made me a sad panda Live journal, but today is a happy panda day. I finally made my way back to the brotherhood camp to get my stuff.
Why you ask? Didn’t I tell you that I’m going to be wrestling again?!
*silence*
No?! Since the fortune of my Naked Yoga Empire is frozen, I had to find work Luckily my old friend FPV was able to get me work in Action Wrestling! Thank god I didn’t have to pass a physical. I lost so much weight when they kept me sedated all those years. I found some bobby pins and Velcro to hold up my pants during my next match. I have no ass anymore Live journal! I lost my money maker! NO!NO! No more sad panda Pomp! No more! You have a match at the next show! You can do it!
And I’ll be making a lot of new friends this week, I’ll have three partners! I don’t really remember their names…I think one of them is a Power Ranger (that’s so cool, I hope we can practice a pose before the match), the other a Cyborg I think? And the other is another rich guy like me! You can’t beat that! A Transforming cyboring money throwing team! Unstoppable. I feel bad about the other team.
I have a riddle for you Live Journal! What does an old q-tips, a defunct viewing medium, a knock-off Mexican spider-man and a pretty innocent girl? Do you know?
*stops typing for a few seconds, in hope for a response*
Give up? I’ll tell you! LOSING! That’s what they’ll all have in common next Sunday! LOSING! HA! I’m hilarious. I didn’t really want to look into them so I just looked at the pictures that were faxed to me here. Judging from the quality of the pictures we have nothing to be worried about. Q (tip)DT face looks like a smudge broccoli that was steamed for too long in a Malikov microwave! Or one of those ugly weekly monsters that the Power Rangers would beat every Saturday morning on Global TV. My own Super Sentai will easily defeating him with his awesome moves and powerful choreography!
And my Yo-kai Watch friend will gladly sidekick that little nuisance of a masked spider! Why does he wear a mask? Probably to hide his ugly 8 eyed face! Even on this poorly faxed piece of paper I can CLEARLY see Live Journal that he’s hiding extra eyes under that ridiculous mask of his. But all this extra spidery sense will do is being even MORE blinded by Bukkaki’s secret mist, DIRECTLY IN THE EYES! AH! That 8 eyed freak won’t know what hit him.
*stops typing and hears some paper rustling*
Mmmm noodle soup. Remember that FRIENDS episode where Joey had to eat soup? Classic. What I’m getting at is that the Soup man will take any mean necessary to make sure that Kitty doesn’t get the upper hand in the match. Sure her pretty face, well I imagine that her face is pretty, I pulled on the sheet while it was faxing and her face is just like a zebra but I’m sure she is wow this is getting to be a really long sentence concentrate, hey what a pretty bird!
Where was I? VHS! YOU SHALL BE MINE BETA KILLER! So many Delta Force Betamax that I had to throw away because of you! I’ll bury you deeper than those E.T. Atari games that no one wants to see again because of how horrible they were! I AM SO MAD! I NEED TEA!
Love you Live Journal
Bye
Pompy