Post by Shadowlove on Mar 14, 2018 19:22:58 GMT -5
North East Okayama Prefecture On The Border Of Hyogo Prefecture, Japan, circa, towards the end of 1996 and the beginning of 1997. . .
Sometime during the the end of the epic feud between her husband, The Hollywood Blonde, and his arch-rival, Jesus Spearhead, and sometime after the swan song of their final bloody brilliant encounter inside the Tokyo Dome back in the day. . .
A stark white stretch limousine, with a 10” lift and 38” rims and the toughest, most versatile off-road tires ever made, 38.5X14.50X15C Interco Super Swamper TSL/SX Bias-Ply tires with Vantablack mud flaps with a 3 1/2" by 2 1/4" chrome sexy cowgirl insignia and personalized license plate “Hariuddoburondo”, intertwines its way through an unknown wet soaked street in the quaint little village of Miyamoto in Mimasaka surrounded by dense wooden cherry blossom trees and traditional Japanese Sukiya-zukuri-style houses.
Inside the stark white stretch limousine, the amazing wife of The Hollywood Blonde, and family matriarch, Akasha, was cradling a very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms.
Her strong, ethereally supple, combination of sheer vulnerability and powerful voice:
“ There is quite an instinctive and intuitive aura of quiet tranquility coming from the process of ending the wars and violence of the sports entertainment business by the mere presence of our son and our sweet and lovely. . . Miyamoto. . .”
The amazing husband of Akasha, and family patriarch, The Hollywood Blonde, was watching their young son sleeping peacefully on a traditional tatami mat made of rice straw and bound together with a finer, softer, rush of straw on the floor of the limousine.
“ These two very unique children lack the knowledge of the sports entertainment business but will very soon acquire the theoretical and practical understanding awareness and familiarity mastery for the nuances of the sports entertainment business. . .”
She starts twirling the raven black hair of the very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms through her fingers with carnal fascination and malignant pleasure.
“Indeed. There is a strong, barely controllable impetuous passion of calm, peaceful, and untroubled oasis of serenity between these two very unique children amidst the hustle and bustle nuances of the sports entertainment business. . .”
She stares at herself with a fixed, almost vacant expression reflecting from the dark smoke tinted window of the limousine cradling a very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms twirling the raven black hair of the very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms through her fingers with carnal fascination and malignant pleasure and a malevolent, tight wolfish smile, slowly appearing on her very luscious and very alluring lips showing off perfectly white even teeth.
“ The combination of these two very unique children simultaneously playing musical notes in a symphony of destruction will produce chords and chords of completely pleasing and displeasing sounds of disorder and confusion throughout the landscape of the sports entertainment business in the very near future. . .”
Capital city of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Present Day, celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day, the foremost patron saint of Ireland, around the midnight hour...
The Unlucky Leprechaun wasn't your stereotypical bigger-than-life evil twin mascot you find on a cereal box, this was one of those quaint-out-of-the-way places that you find on a map but through word of mouth. This old school world pub was a small dimly lit modern day comfort establishment of intoxicating public consumption that puts Moe’s Tavern to shame while creating a vivid atmosphere that is worth experiencing celebrating everything Irish, Notre Dame Football, U2, Tommy Brady, Larry Bird, Carl Yastrzemski, Bobby Orr and even Northern Ireland’s favorite son, your favorite and most polarizing modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove.
While every patron in the place was celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day with your stereotypical Irish feast, a seven course meal, a potato and a six pack of Guinness, he was sitting at the bar listening to the bartender, ironically named Moe, rambling on and on about something meaningless in Irish Gaelic language, while downing a pint of his own. His breath was pungent, ironically, with the smell of carrots, corn beef and cabbage.
Moe: “ Bhuel, tá mo bhuachaill, tá do chlár buaite a chailliúint ar shraith taifead thar. Cén chaoi a mbraitheann tú mar gheall ar an moncaí sin a fháil ar deireadh as do chúl?. . .”
His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair was perfect showing off his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes.
He was stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe along with his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned pants and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him. He seems to be enjoying the quiet, silent lucidity escapism from the rigmaroles of everyday life in Action Wrestling.
Quietly, to himself, he appears to be lip syncing a song, “SHORT CHANGE HERO” by The Heavy, that he was listening to on his (product placement) custom-made special edition Beats Studio gloss white wireless headphones:
His low dusky voice rings out fully, with all the charm and charisma that one can muster, mister and gets down to the business of Monday Night Clash as he starts painting his masterpiece:
“ Fuck, me. . .”
His sweet and lovely personal bodyguard/valet and femme fatale temptress, “The Fashionista Sensei” Miss Miyamoto, seemed to mysteriously be conjuring up a mystical spell over him just by her mere presence as she was in her proper place against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts with the exception of a very sharp and penetrating affection and devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and very alluring lips while caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
Her raven black hair was pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face as she lowers her iconic Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face, showing off her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes.
Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin was encased in a form-fitting deeply rich crimson red and stark white Asian silk Tokyo Tee Mini Dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh designed by Stella McCartney and deeply rich crimson red Jimmy Choo stilettos.
Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her very luscious and very alluring lips:
“ Moe-san, there has never been any kind of monkey on or off his back and no real good reason for him to lose any kind of slow-wave deep sleep making for strange bedfellows over any kind of commitment to excellence by any means necessary when it comes to wins and losses throughout his career. Some winning streaks weren't meant to be broken like The Undertaker-san having his streak snapped by BROCK Lesnar-san at Mania, and sometimes, just sometimes, some losing streaks just keep going and going and going just as planned. As talented as Brooke Bell is and was on Monday Night Clash, she was just unfortunate enough to run into a more prevailing level of shadow who was very able to eclipse everyone's expectations in this organization. . .”
His rebellious little sister, Anastacia, was about six inches shorter than him and had her long sandy brown hair worn down over her shoulders under a New Orleans Saints cap worn backwards showing off her angelic looking face with an ice cold stare radiating from her darkest obsidian black eyes, walks up to her brother and slaps him behind his head in a you don't call, you don't write your sister style gesture.
Her gorgeous and voluptuous toned fitness model physique was dressed in a vintage black, The Harbingers, half-shirt showing off the firm washboard abs of a Greek Goddess, vintage acid washed denim jacket with attached hoodie, vintage acid washed denim Levi 501s, and black Ladies Flex Appeal 2.0 Newsmaker Training Sneakers.
Her strong, warm, velvety and deceptively childlike voice radiating through her very luscious and very alluring lips:
Anastacia: “ He’s always been quite the loser in the family. . .”
He lowers and raise his head, slightly, greeting her huge monster personal bodyguard boyfriend, Ivanovich Kalashnikov, who was around two inches taller than him and fifteen pounds heavier. He had his head clean shaven and showing off his neatly trimmed Cossack mustache and beard and dark brown eyes while he was overshadowing his little sister.
He was wearing a Manchester United Premier League Team jersey, a couple of sizes too small, and in Northern Ireland, just daring someone to try him, a stand collar black leather jacket, vintage acid washed denim Levi 501s, and black Men's Flex Appeal 2.0 Newsmaker Training Sneakers.
“ Says my rebellious little sister who couldn't even get a date for the prom. . .”
His rebellious little sister holds up three fingers in a reverse scout’s honor style gesture, you know, the bird, the middle finger, telling her brother to read between the lines as she gives a loving embrace to his sweet and lovely Miyamoto. His voice was that of a central Ukrainian dialect.
Ivanovich: “ Tin ova kokhannya. . .”
He doesn't know why Ivanovich was speaking his name in his native tongue when he spoke perfectly broken English to his parents and his little sister all the time. But, anyways.
“ Ivanovich, my friend, what can you tell me about this Russian junk science program known as Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition?. . .”
He removes his a stand collar black leather jacket and drapes it over his arm. You can actually see the vein in his neck throbbing at the mention of Petrov’s name.
Ivanovich: “ Tovarysh polkovnyk Petrov zhartuye! Tovarysh polkovnyk Petrov pokhmuryy zhart! Tovaryshu polkovnyku Petrovu potribna klizma! Tov. Polkovnyk Petrov, shcho khovaye klizmu!. . .”
She nods in agreement with her bodyguard boyfriend.
Anastacia: “ He says Comrade Colonel Petrov joke! Comrade Colonel Petrov fucking joke! Comrade Colonel Petrov need enema! Comrade Colonel Petrov fucking enema! Geezus, Shadow. I guess Petrov is an acquired taste in the Ukraine. Now, didn't you already school his prior clone Petrov 2.0 in your first title defense as the UCI World Television Champion?. . .”
She lowers her iconic Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes of a Goddess of the Rising Sun and a 21st century female samurai warrior known for her bravery and strength and looks at him then into the camera at the viewing audience watching at home.
“ Indeed! We found out firsthand that after facing Petrov-san 2.0, genetic engineers from around the world that were very knowledgeable on the subject of Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition simply disappeared following the orders from The Kremlin. This very Top Secret information showed that no matter how much preprogramming that Petrov-san underwent, his genetic endoskeleton prototype was lacking the very same chemical imbalance makeup breakdown as its own original host. And no matter how many subsequent cosmetic surgeries are undergone in order to produce a more normal appearance, this version of Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition will suffer the same blood-like bloodbath inside the squared-circle on Monday Night Clash. . .”
Moe pours Ivanovich a shot of Absolut Crystal Pinstripe Black Bottle, $10,000 a bottle Vodka. He downs the Vodka like water. Moe pours him another without even asking.
Ivanovich: “ Hlyboki slabkosti tovarysha polkovnyka Petrova pokazani v yoho druzhbi z tovaryshem Khadzhetom. Vin bilʹshe lyudsʹkyy nizh mashyna vbyvstva, i tse bude obydva yikh padinnya, koly vony zitknutʹsya z oboma vamy u Ponedilok Vnochi Clash. . .”
She takes shot glass from Ivanovich and downs the Vodka like water and throws the shot glass into the darkness of the pub. She smiles to herself, not hearing glass break, knowing that those salty looking Japanese dudes, the twin bodyguards, Kyodai and Shatei, were on guard and in attack formation somewhere inside the pub.
Anastacia: “ He says Comrade Colonel Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition’s weaknesses are more profound when it comes to his friendship with Comrade Hajeet. He seems to become even more human than war machine when it comes to his feelings for Comrade Hajeet. This weakens the overall structure of his genetic endoskeleton prototype. Quite, The Brokeback Mountain Stockholm Syndrome. And that will be their downfall when they face The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate on Monday Night Clash. . .”
He takes a very healthy sip from his the ice cold coconut water poured into a coconut with a little pink umbrella, that is a very rich source of potassium, manganese, magnesium, folate, calcium, selenium and is very beneficial to his muscular body of a Greek God, with his pinky finger sticking out.
“ The Action Wrestling Hierarchy, every velveteen wrestler in the back behind the curtain, and the Action Wrestling Fandom have been looking for someone to breathe some life into the art of tag-team wrestling, and unfortunately for them, they’ve all pull all their eggs into one hype basket by turning your friendly neighborhood crash test dummy Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition into some kind of Short Change Heroes when trying to save the day. . .”
She runs her fingers seductively along his chiseled chin along his bowed head so that her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes meets his occidental sparkling blue eyes in a way that showed a fondness for causing trouble in a very playful way.
“ This ain't no place for no heroes. Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition may be average wrestlers when they are wrestling in singles competition in the squared-circle, but The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate will show everyone in this organization that this Friendship Team are still only better than average as a true tag-team inside the squared-circle this Monday night in Salt Lake City. We will show everyone in this organization that Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition’s friendship is just simply a matter of convenience. Would Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition really come running to the aid of Hajeet-san if he was being held by Homeland Security because of his very reckless driving as an Uber Driver? And would Hajeet-san really change Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition’s dirty diapers after this somewhat so-called and self-proclaimed preprogrammed genetic endoskeleton short circuited in his shorts?. . .”
Her very luscious and very alluring lips barely touching his chiseled dimpled cheek as they reach his lips. You can almost feel an aura of seductively handsome cold-hearted psychopathic electricity between the two as they become one with their warm, loving, passionate kiss.
“ Not, hardly. This taxi driving Indian is out of his elements if he thinks that he will somehow be the embodiment of a wagon burning Indian when trying to scalp my classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair. And this somewhat so-called and self-proclaimed preprogrammed genetic endoskeleton will learn firsthand that Androids Really Do Dream of Electric Sheep when my sweet and lovely Miyamoto terminates him with extreme prejudice. And just as much as the Action Wrestling Hierarchy, every velveteen wrestler in the back behind the curtain, and the Action Wrestling Fandom have fallen for Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition in their debut, there have been just as much or even twice as many people throughout the sports entertainment business that have waited for almost two years for the in ring debut of my sweet and lovely Miyamoto inside of the squared-circle. . .”
There was that extra special something, something about hearing her silky, smoky voice radiating through her very luscious and very alluring lips after their warm, loving, passionate kiss knowing that she was all business.
“ Are we really ones that will disappoint each and everyone of you that have paid your hard earned money to see The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate, live and in living color? We have heard all the propaganda coming from all the hype surrounding Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition debut and does it really look like we are all that impressed with what we see? We very often hear Hajeet-san talking about the chemistry he has with Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition inside and outside of the squared-circle. But their friendship is no match and pales in comparison to the condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthless manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and an all-around, well-balanced physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle coming from the essence of The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate. . .”
Four Irish Hooligans across the pub notices Ivanovich’s Manchester United Premier League Team jersey and makes their ways towards them. They see all four Irish Hooligans making their way towards them in the grimy mirror behind the bar. Looks like business inside the pub is about to pick up.
“ For the sake of argument, we aren't talking about how loved or unloved that these two certain individuals are inside or outside of the squared-circle. There is no denying that cult following. What this match really comes down too, isn't about the popularity of the four competitors, but about the abilities that they have in order just to survive as a tag-team in this match. Will Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition friendship inside the squared-circle determine how competitive that this match will really be on Monday Night Clash? They might have some meaningless moments of hope in our match but they are no match for the two who have grown up together and have built quite a personal relationship together from childhood as my sweet and lovely Miyamoto and myself have in a very spectacular and convincing fashion sense. Our condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthless manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and an all-around, well-balanced physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle have become second-to-none in the Action Wrestling squared-circle and the sports entertainment business. . .”
He reaches into his newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe and removes a Blu electronic cigarette (product placement) pack and removes one of the Blu electronic cigarettes and places it into his mouth and starts puffing and blowing out a series of vapor rings up into the air.
He flicks the Blu electronic cigarette into one of the Irish Hooligans face as they invade his space and crushes the Hooligans nose into his skull with the palm of his hand.
“ Make no mistake Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition, you two are simple the mice and my sweet and lovely Miyamoto and myself are the cats in this tag-team match. We will constantly taunt you, play with your mind, and goad you both into making mistake after mistake, immobilizing both your strengths and weaknesses, maneuvering this Friendship Team into a very inescapable corner, isolating each one of you and then pick you apart one by one like prey because together The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate are just that good together in the squared-circle. . .”
His sister's huge monster personal bodyguard boyfriend, Ivanovich Kalashnikov, grabs two of the Irish Hooligans by their hair, lifting them up off the ground some two feet in the air and looks them into the eye. He shakes his head in a this just isn't your lucky day you leprechauns and smashes their heads together and dropping them like a sack of potatoes.
“ Everyone in this organization will very soon have to grasp the concept of The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate being your World Tag-team Champions. This tag-team division will undergo a much needed extreme sports entertainment business makeover with a fashion wrestling sense of style. There will be no staged, predetermined, choreographed, or pre-planned outcome for this tag-team match with Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition. Our condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthless manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and an all-around, well-balanced physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle will bring out an even higher-degree of memorable matches that will serve notice to each and everyone of you in this organization that you will need to bring your very best every time that you enter the squared-circle with The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate. And in the end, everyone in this organization will remember The Fashionista Sensei Miss Miyamoto and The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san being hailed as the greatest Action Wrestling World Tag-team Champions of All-Time. . .”
His sister, Anastacia, sweeps the leg of the fourth Irish Hooligan as his sweet and lovely Miyamoto simultaneously performs a running dropkick into a 360° spinning wheelhouse kick to the Irish Hooligan’s head sending him somewhere over the rainbow into a pot of gold. All four return to their previously scheduled programming and continue their conversation as if nothing has happened.
“ We are even going to tell you our strategy beforehand on how we will defeat Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition in the squared-circle. We are going to simply attack their many weaknesses one by one throughout this match. We will work over, not one, but all of their body parts and weakening their resolve with our constant quick tags, blind tags and no-tag double teaming skillset toughness and mindset toughness in tag-team wrestling and delivering upon them our picture perfect designed match-finishing maneuver and showing the Action Wrestling Hierarchy, every velveteen wrestler in the back behind the curtain, and the Action Wrestling Fandom just how you were DRESSED TO THE NINES!. . .”
He slowly raises his head in super slow motion and double raises his eyebrows with an ice cold psychopathic stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes as his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth on his chiseled fighter's face in a “ I have the one thing that every man, woman, and child fears, my sweet and lovely Miyamoto. And I will take you to the one place that everyone fears and deliver upon you, Dressed To The Nines. You see, Dressed To The Nines isn't like any other finisher in the sports entertainment business. Oh, no, some people need a handful of finishers in order just to survive inside the squared-circle like this Team Friendship, Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition. But why, when all you only need is just ONE. ONE to defeat this Team Friendship, Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition. Dressed To The Nines is that living, breathing omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience and truly ostentatious indulgence when it takes on a life of its own and simply ends this Team Friendship, Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition just like you two never even existed on Monday Night Clash” Jake The Snake Roberts flamboyant, stylistic supermodel deus ex machina, shit-eating grin.
She pauses. Then. . .
She looks at the viewing audience at home with her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes and showing no emotion on her angelic looking face then slices her own throat from her left carotid artery to her right carotid artery with her right index finger and makes an imaginary blood explosion style gesture with her left hand.
Then. . .
She raises her iconic Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face while hiding her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes with her middle finger.
Sometime during the the end of the epic feud between her husband, The Hollywood Blonde, and his arch-rival, Jesus Spearhead, and sometime after the swan song of their final bloody brilliant encounter inside the Tokyo Dome back in the day. . .
A stark white stretch limousine, with a 10” lift and 38” rims and the toughest, most versatile off-road tires ever made, 38.5X14.50X15C Interco Super Swamper TSL/SX Bias-Ply tires with Vantablack mud flaps with a 3 1/2" by 2 1/4" chrome sexy cowgirl insignia and personalized license plate “Hariuddoburondo”, intertwines its way through an unknown wet soaked street in the quaint little village of Miyamoto in Mimasaka surrounded by dense wooden cherry blossom trees and traditional Japanese Sukiya-zukuri-style houses.
Inside the stark white stretch limousine, the amazing wife of The Hollywood Blonde, and family matriarch, Akasha, was cradling a very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms.
Her strong, ethereally supple, combination of sheer vulnerability and powerful voice:
“ There is quite an instinctive and intuitive aura of quiet tranquility coming from the process of ending the wars and violence of the sports entertainment business by the mere presence of our son and our sweet and lovely. . . Miyamoto. . .”
The amazing husband of Akasha, and family patriarch, The Hollywood Blonde, was watching their young son sleeping peacefully on a traditional tatami mat made of rice straw and bound together with a finer, softer, rush of straw on the floor of the limousine.
“ These two very unique children lack the knowledge of the sports entertainment business but will very soon acquire the theoretical and practical understanding awareness and familiarity mastery for the nuances of the sports entertainment business. . .”
She starts twirling the raven black hair of the very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms through her fingers with carnal fascination and malignant pleasure.
“Indeed. There is a strong, barely controllable impetuous passion of calm, peaceful, and untroubled oasis of serenity between these two very unique children amidst the hustle and bustle nuances of the sports entertainment business. . .”
She stares at herself with a fixed, almost vacant expression reflecting from the dark smoke tinted window of the limousine cradling a very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms twirling the raven black hair of the very young and little Japanese girl sleeping peacefully in her arms through her fingers with carnal fascination and malignant pleasure and a malevolent, tight wolfish smile, slowly appearing on her very luscious and very alluring lips showing off perfectly white even teeth.
“ The combination of these two very unique children simultaneously playing musical notes in a symphony of destruction will produce chords and chords of completely pleasing and displeasing sounds of disorder and confusion throughout the landscape of the sports entertainment business in the very near future. . .”
==============================
Capital city of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Present Day, celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day, the foremost patron saint of Ireland, around the midnight hour...
The Unlucky Leprechaun wasn't your stereotypical bigger-than-life evil twin mascot you find on a cereal box, this was one of those quaint-out-of-the-way places that you find on a map but through word of mouth. This old school world pub was a small dimly lit modern day comfort establishment of intoxicating public consumption that puts Moe’s Tavern to shame while creating a vivid atmosphere that is worth experiencing celebrating everything Irish, Notre Dame Football, U2, Tommy Brady, Larry Bird, Carl Yastrzemski, Bobby Orr and even Northern Ireland’s favorite son, your favorite and most polarizing modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove.
While every patron in the place was celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day with your stereotypical Irish feast, a seven course meal, a potato and a six pack of Guinness, he was sitting at the bar listening to the bartender, ironically named Moe, rambling on and on about something meaningless in Irish Gaelic language, while downing a pint of his own. His breath was pungent, ironically, with the smell of carrots, corn beef and cabbage.
Moe: “ Bhuel, tá mo bhuachaill, tá do chlár buaite a chailliúint ar shraith taifead thar. Cén chaoi a mbraitheann tú mar gheall ar an moncaí sin a fháil ar deireadh as do chúl?. . .”
His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair was perfect showing off his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes.
He was stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe along with his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned pants and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him. He seems to be enjoying the quiet, silent lucidity escapism from the rigmaroles of everyday life in Action Wrestling.
Quietly, to himself, he appears to be lip syncing a song, “SHORT CHANGE HERO” by The Heavy, that he was listening to on his (product placement) custom-made special edition Beats Studio gloss white wireless headphones:
His low dusky voice rings out fully, with all the charm and charisma that one can muster, mister and gets down to the business of Monday Night Clash as he starts painting his masterpiece:
“ Fuck, me. . .”
His sweet and lovely personal bodyguard/valet and femme fatale temptress, “The Fashionista Sensei” Miss Miyamoto, seemed to mysteriously be conjuring up a mystical spell over him just by her mere presence as she was in her proper place against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts with the exception of a very sharp and penetrating affection and devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and very alluring lips while caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
Her raven black hair was pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face as she lowers her iconic Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face, showing off her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes.
Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin was encased in a form-fitting deeply rich crimson red and stark white Asian silk Tokyo Tee Mini Dress with a French-cut up the side to her thigh designed by Stella McCartney and deeply rich crimson red Jimmy Choo stilettos.
Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her very luscious and very alluring lips:
“ Moe-san, there has never been any kind of monkey on or off his back and no real good reason for him to lose any kind of slow-wave deep sleep making for strange bedfellows over any kind of commitment to excellence by any means necessary when it comes to wins and losses throughout his career. Some winning streaks weren't meant to be broken like The Undertaker-san having his streak snapped by BROCK Lesnar-san at Mania, and sometimes, just sometimes, some losing streaks just keep going and going and going just as planned. As talented as Brooke Bell is and was on Monday Night Clash, she was just unfortunate enough to run into a more prevailing level of shadow who was very able to eclipse everyone's expectations in this organization. . .”
His rebellious little sister, Anastacia, was about six inches shorter than him and had her long sandy brown hair worn down over her shoulders under a New Orleans Saints cap worn backwards showing off her angelic looking face with an ice cold stare radiating from her darkest obsidian black eyes, walks up to her brother and slaps him behind his head in a you don't call, you don't write your sister style gesture.
Her gorgeous and voluptuous toned fitness model physique was dressed in a vintage black, The Harbingers, half-shirt showing off the firm washboard abs of a Greek Goddess, vintage acid washed denim jacket with attached hoodie, vintage acid washed denim Levi 501s, and black Ladies Flex Appeal 2.0 Newsmaker Training Sneakers.
Her strong, warm, velvety and deceptively childlike voice radiating through her very luscious and very alluring lips:
Anastacia: “ He’s always been quite the loser in the family. . .”
He lowers and raise his head, slightly, greeting her huge monster personal bodyguard boyfriend, Ivanovich Kalashnikov, who was around two inches taller than him and fifteen pounds heavier. He had his head clean shaven and showing off his neatly trimmed Cossack mustache and beard and dark brown eyes while he was overshadowing his little sister.
He was wearing a Manchester United Premier League Team jersey, a couple of sizes too small, and in Northern Ireland, just daring someone to try him, a stand collar black leather jacket, vintage acid washed denim Levi 501s, and black Men's Flex Appeal 2.0 Newsmaker Training Sneakers.
“ Says my rebellious little sister who couldn't even get a date for the prom. . .”
His rebellious little sister holds up three fingers in a reverse scout’s honor style gesture, you know, the bird, the middle finger, telling her brother to read between the lines as she gives a loving embrace to his sweet and lovely Miyamoto. His voice was that of a central Ukrainian dialect.
Ivanovich: “ Tin ova kokhannya. . .”
He doesn't know why Ivanovich was speaking his name in his native tongue when he spoke perfectly broken English to his parents and his little sister all the time. But, anyways.
“ Ivanovich, my friend, what can you tell me about this Russian junk science program known as Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition?. . .”
He removes his a stand collar black leather jacket and drapes it over his arm. You can actually see the vein in his neck throbbing at the mention of Petrov’s name.
Ivanovich: “ Tovarysh polkovnyk Petrov zhartuye! Tovarysh polkovnyk Petrov pokhmuryy zhart! Tovaryshu polkovnyku Petrovu potribna klizma! Tov. Polkovnyk Petrov, shcho khovaye klizmu!. . .”
She nods in agreement with her bodyguard boyfriend.
Anastacia: “ He says Comrade Colonel Petrov joke! Comrade Colonel Petrov fucking joke! Comrade Colonel Petrov need enema! Comrade Colonel Petrov fucking enema! Geezus, Shadow. I guess Petrov is an acquired taste in the Ukraine. Now, didn't you already school his prior clone Petrov 2.0 in your first title defense as the UCI World Television Champion?. . .”
She lowers her iconic Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes of a Goddess of the Rising Sun and a 21st century female samurai warrior known for her bravery and strength and looks at him then into the camera at the viewing audience watching at home.
“ Indeed! We found out firsthand that after facing Petrov-san 2.0, genetic engineers from around the world that were very knowledgeable on the subject of Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition simply disappeared following the orders from The Kremlin. This very Top Secret information showed that no matter how much preprogramming that Petrov-san underwent, his genetic endoskeleton prototype was lacking the very same chemical imbalance makeup breakdown as its own original host. And no matter how many subsequent cosmetic surgeries are undergone in order to produce a more normal appearance, this version of Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition will suffer the same blood-like bloodbath inside the squared-circle on Monday Night Clash. . .”
Moe pours Ivanovich a shot of Absolut Crystal Pinstripe Black Bottle, $10,000 a bottle Vodka. He downs the Vodka like water. Moe pours him another without even asking.
Ivanovich: “ Hlyboki slabkosti tovarysha polkovnyka Petrova pokazani v yoho druzhbi z tovaryshem Khadzhetom. Vin bilʹshe lyudsʹkyy nizh mashyna vbyvstva, i tse bude obydva yikh padinnya, koly vony zitknutʹsya z oboma vamy u Ponedilok Vnochi Clash. . .”
She takes shot glass from Ivanovich and downs the Vodka like water and throws the shot glass into the darkness of the pub. She smiles to herself, not hearing glass break, knowing that those salty looking Japanese dudes, the twin bodyguards, Kyodai and Shatei, were on guard and in attack formation somewhere inside the pub.
Anastacia: “ He says Comrade Colonel Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition’s weaknesses are more profound when it comes to his friendship with Comrade Hajeet. He seems to become even more human than war machine when it comes to his feelings for Comrade Hajeet. This weakens the overall structure of his genetic endoskeleton prototype. Quite, The Brokeback Mountain Stockholm Syndrome. And that will be their downfall when they face The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate on Monday Night Clash. . .”
He takes a very healthy sip from his the ice cold coconut water poured into a coconut with a little pink umbrella, that is a very rich source of potassium, manganese, magnesium, folate, calcium, selenium and is very beneficial to his muscular body of a Greek God, with his pinky finger sticking out.
“ The Action Wrestling Hierarchy, every velveteen wrestler in the back behind the curtain, and the Action Wrestling Fandom have been looking for someone to breathe some life into the art of tag-team wrestling, and unfortunately for them, they’ve all pull all their eggs into one hype basket by turning your friendly neighborhood crash test dummy Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition into some kind of Short Change Heroes when trying to save the day. . .”
She runs her fingers seductively along his chiseled chin along his bowed head so that her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes meets his occidental sparkling blue eyes in a way that showed a fondness for causing trouble in a very playful way.
“ This ain't no place for no heroes. Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition may be average wrestlers when they are wrestling in singles competition in the squared-circle, but The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate will show everyone in this organization that this Friendship Team are still only better than average as a true tag-team inside the squared-circle this Monday night in Salt Lake City. We will show everyone in this organization that Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition’s friendship is just simply a matter of convenience. Would Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition really come running to the aid of Hajeet-san if he was being held by Homeland Security because of his very reckless driving as an Uber Driver? And would Hajeet-san really change Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition’s dirty diapers after this somewhat so-called and self-proclaimed preprogrammed genetic endoskeleton short circuited in his shorts?. . .”
Her very luscious and very alluring lips barely touching his chiseled dimpled cheek as they reach his lips. You can almost feel an aura of seductively handsome cold-hearted psychopathic electricity between the two as they become one with their warm, loving, passionate kiss.
“ Not, hardly. This taxi driving Indian is out of his elements if he thinks that he will somehow be the embodiment of a wagon burning Indian when trying to scalp my classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair. And this somewhat so-called and self-proclaimed preprogrammed genetic endoskeleton will learn firsthand that Androids Really Do Dream of Electric Sheep when my sweet and lovely Miyamoto terminates him with extreme prejudice. And just as much as the Action Wrestling Hierarchy, every velveteen wrestler in the back behind the curtain, and the Action Wrestling Fandom have fallen for Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition in their debut, there have been just as much or even twice as many people throughout the sports entertainment business that have waited for almost two years for the in ring debut of my sweet and lovely Miyamoto inside of the squared-circle. . .”
There was that extra special something, something about hearing her silky, smoky voice radiating through her very luscious and very alluring lips after their warm, loving, passionate kiss knowing that she was all business.
“ Are we really ones that will disappoint each and everyone of you that have paid your hard earned money to see The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate, live and in living color? We have heard all the propaganda coming from all the hype surrounding Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition debut and does it really look like we are all that impressed with what we see? We very often hear Hajeet-san talking about the chemistry he has with Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition inside and outside of the squared-circle. But their friendship is no match and pales in comparison to the condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthless manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and an all-around, well-balanced physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle coming from the essence of The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate. . .”
Four Irish Hooligans across the pub notices Ivanovich’s Manchester United Premier League Team jersey and makes their ways towards them. They see all four Irish Hooligans making their way towards them in the grimy mirror behind the bar. Looks like business inside the pub is about to pick up.
“ For the sake of argument, we aren't talking about how loved or unloved that these two certain individuals are inside or outside of the squared-circle. There is no denying that cult following. What this match really comes down too, isn't about the popularity of the four competitors, but about the abilities that they have in order just to survive as a tag-team in this match. Will Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition friendship inside the squared-circle determine how competitive that this match will really be on Monday Night Clash? They might have some meaningless moments of hope in our match but they are no match for the two who have grown up together and have built quite a personal relationship together from childhood as my sweet and lovely Miyamoto and myself have in a very spectacular and convincing fashion sense. Our condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthless manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and an all-around, well-balanced physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle have become second-to-none in the Action Wrestling squared-circle and the sports entertainment business. . .”
He reaches into his newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe and removes a Blu electronic cigarette (product placement) pack and removes one of the Blu electronic cigarettes and places it into his mouth and starts puffing and blowing out a series of vapor rings up into the air.
He flicks the Blu electronic cigarette into one of the Irish Hooligans face as they invade his space and crushes the Hooligans nose into his skull with the palm of his hand.
“ Make no mistake Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition, you two are simple the mice and my sweet and lovely Miyamoto and myself are the cats in this tag-team match. We will constantly taunt you, play with your mind, and goad you both into making mistake after mistake, immobilizing both your strengths and weaknesses, maneuvering this Friendship Team into a very inescapable corner, isolating each one of you and then pick you apart one by one like prey because together The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate are just that good together in the squared-circle. . .”
His sister's huge monster personal bodyguard boyfriend, Ivanovich Kalashnikov, grabs two of the Irish Hooligans by their hair, lifting them up off the ground some two feet in the air and looks them into the eye. He shakes his head in a this just isn't your lucky day you leprechauns and smashes their heads together and dropping them like a sack of potatoes.
“ Everyone in this organization will very soon have to grasp the concept of The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate being your World Tag-team Champions. This tag-team division will undergo a much needed extreme sports entertainment business makeover with a fashion wrestling sense of style. There will be no staged, predetermined, choreographed, or pre-planned outcome for this tag-team match with Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition. Our condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthless manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and an all-around, well-balanced physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle will bring out an even higher-degree of memorable matches that will serve notice to each and everyone of you in this organization that you will need to bring your very best every time that you enter the squared-circle with The Hariuddoburondo Conglomerate. And in the end, everyone in this organization will remember The Fashionista Sensei Miss Miyamoto and The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san being hailed as the greatest Action Wrestling World Tag-team Champions of All-Time. . .”
His sister, Anastacia, sweeps the leg of the fourth Irish Hooligan as his sweet and lovely Miyamoto simultaneously performs a running dropkick into a 360° spinning wheelhouse kick to the Irish Hooligan’s head sending him somewhere over the rainbow into a pot of gold. All four return to their previously scheduled programming and continue their conversation as if nothing has happened.
“ We are even going to tell you our strategy beforehand on how we will defeat Hajeet-san and Petrov-san Remastered Deluxe Edition in the squared-circle. We are going to simply attack their many weaknesses one by one throughout this match. We will work over, not one, but all of their body parts and weakening their resolve with our constant quick tags, blind tags and no-tag double teaming skillset toughness and mindset toughness in tag-team wrestling and delivering upon them our picture perfect designed match-finishing maneuver and showing the Action Wrestling Hierarchy, every velveteen wrestler in the back behind the curtain, and the Action Wrestling Fandom just how you were DRESSED TO THE NINES!. . .”
He slowly raises his head in super slow motion and double raises his eyebrows with an ice cold psychopathic stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes as his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth on his chiseled fighter's face in a “ I have the one thing that every man, woman, and child fears, my sweet and lovely Miyamoto. And I will take you to the one place that everyone fears and deliver upon you, Dressed To The Nines. You see, Dressed To The Nines isn't like any other finisher in the sports entertainment business. Oh, no, some people need a handful of finishers in order just to survive inside the squared-circle like this Team Friendship, Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition. But why, when all you only need is just ONE. ONE to defeat this Team Friendship, Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition. Dressed To The Nines is that living, breathing omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience and truly ostentatious indulgence when it takes on a life of its own and simply ends this Team Friendship, Hajeet and Petrov Remastered Deluxe Edition just like you two never even existed on Monday Night Clash” Jake The Snake Roberts flamboyant, stylistic supermodel deus ex machina, shit-eating grin.
She pauses. Then. . .
She looks at the viewing audience at home with her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes and showing no emotion on her angelic looking face then slices her own throat from her left carotid artery to her right carotid artery with her right index finger and makes an imaginary blood explosion style gesture with her left hand.
Then. . .
She raises her iconic Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face while hiding her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes with her middle finger.