Post by Odin Balfore on Sept 2, 2019 17:28:38 GMT -5
The Prologue:
wordcount: 3982
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PART ONE: TRUE LEADERSHIP
Action Wrestling, in four months I will be entering my twenty-first year in pro wrestling. I want you to allow that to really sink deep into your craniums. After twenty-one years in this industry, I am still A TOP this industry. I still draw tickets. I still sell out arenas and I still put companies on maps.
I also take them off those maps.
I am not a nostalgia act. As much as you all beg and cry and stomp your little vanilla midget feet, I am still right here. What does that mean for all of you would be heros and try hards who walk into this business, declare yourself kings, elites, prodigies and the like? Where is all that tough talk now aside from sitting in that fissure in the back of your throat you call a voice box because you all talk tough until the time to be tough comes and its a scurry off to the nearest milk bar to drink yourself into a lactose coma.
You all have seen me try and give someone the world; someone just like you and they could not handle it. You saw what I did. I took a more accomplished world champion from a much more acclaimed promotion and I choke slammed someone I called friend clean out of this industry for the simple crime of not living up to my expectations.
So I’m sitting here, thinking about my own expectations for myself. We all know I’m a bad mother fucker. I can expect the butt hurt from the Nth degree. I can feel the butt hurt radiating outwards from all of you already and we havent even gotten started yet. So, what does The All Father do and he’s done everything there is to do in this business; chase the sun.
At this point whats another belt; I have plenty of notches in plenty of belts. I have plaques, posters, trophies and trinkets. There is nothing in this industry that I don’t already have. Its not about what this company can give me its about what I can give this company.
True leadership.
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PART TWO: EMPIRE OF DIRT
* Come across Odin Balfore walking through his castle with only MMA shorts and a towel around his sweaty neck. We start low, sweeping across the ground and come up to meet Odin as he lumbers down the hall. Odin turns his head and nods at the camera. We catch up with Odin as he towels off his face and head. *
ODIN
“ Seems ya’ll caught me after my workout. Just as well, you dont need to see me bench pressing planets, ya’ll get the idea but follow me.”
* We continue to follow Odin through the house as he turns a corner and out in front of him is a hallway lined with plaques, belts, trophies and framed posters. *
ODIN
“ This right here is just a small sample of my career. The things that I don’t NEED anymore; unlike all of you. There have been a lot of ups, downs and yet I still find myself right there in the main event. Dandy, your mouth must be salivating at this prospect because it all starts with what you got. It all starts there and its going to end there. Listen, I have a career that anyone in this match would give their arms for, Allison Riggs is having a yard sale:
Here, take the husband and the kids. Sell the watches, the blender, the family car because is the life that she wants. This is what it all boils down too and Dandy, its already getting hot in here. Now I know ya’ll gone down play twenty years cuz I get it. I mean like, ya’ll were six and in school and I’m over there Ragnaroking The Allison Riggs and the Dandys and the Teo Del Bitch boys of days gone past before you even had days of your lives. Just because a few of you were still youngins coddlin the couch dont invalidate the fact that I’ve been laying waste to this industry that ya’ll are now just discovering.
Ya’ll would be damn foolish to discount and discredit my career. After all, that's why I’m here. I couldnt tell you which of my legendary matches or title runs got me here. In truth, its the totality of my career. Dandy, you can look around and see whats wrong with this picture and take a wild guess.
Its you.
See, here in wrestling you’re whats called a transitional champion. Tort acknowledged that he went as far as he could with Lockheart and had no real plans for KOS, Teo and Richards just arnt a draw. You and all them are just the guy who stands across from THE GUY that draws the money. You were the next solid choice and the crowd of midcard choices; a crowd that loves you can get their feel good moment that you got your time in the sun but whew - That time in the sun, sure does get hot. Those lights sure do get bright. Ask Allison Riggs who had to debut against me and she saw what I can do in that ring. Go ask Teo, he knows to stay far away from me. However, Dandy, this is the Elimination Chamber. You ah, you ever wrestle in those? Do they have those in those bush league, outlaw feds that you called home? Allison, your cuck husband ever fight in one of those?
Do any of you aside from Teo Blaze have any idea what this wrestling thing is all about?
Dandy, I’mma put it to you simple. There aint nowhere to run and I know that deep down you’re a coward; you proved that last week. See, this pod thing, its random. The best option for you as champ is come out last and me to come out first. You’re going to want me to start this match but you’d be wrong.
You’ll get to watch me beat up guys like Teo the King of Media. You’ll get to see me commit domestic spousal abuse on Allison Riggs. Then I’m really gonna be like Matumbo against KOS; Made what Judas did look like I just denied him that lay up. See, its a mental process. You get to watch on as your cowardice eats at you. You foolishly think that I’m exhausting myself against them while you come out fresh. Well, if that's your thought process you need to get checked for head trauma cuz you a dumb mother fucker. Aint no one there to save you. No rope breaks or run ins. No ref stoppage. Either you get pinned or I make sure you get carted out of the arena. You get to watch me devastate and dominate the field. You get to watch first hand, the awesome power of the Bad Mother Fucker. That's when you realize that you’re just a hand off. You’re the go between to keep Lockheart strong in his defeat because Tort wants to take this company higher and there aint no higher than ME. Last week you crawled like a bitch on your hands and knees to escape the ring rather than face it like a world champion. That wont happen again this week.
Dandy, if’n you dont believe anything that I’m saying or that you dont want to take it for gospel truth, you gotta remember that everyone qualified for this match except me. I beat down Wolf and Blaze thinking that it would lead to the hardcore division but instead, like everything else in my career - all roads lead back to me and my road to rediscover the true meaning of being the Villain of the Story.
You can try and tear down my empire of dirt.. but.. Whats that say about you
LMAO
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PART TWO: MID CARD PARADISE
* Deep in the heart of Americas Bread Belt in fields of Amber waves of grain; those purple mountain shown like a beacon on a hill. This was Rural America. The Good Ol’ US of A. Odin is walking through the field with arms wide open, looking up to the sun. *
ODIN:
“ I’m here because this is the heartland of America and aint no way none of you are going to convince me that all these midcarders and US title hopefuls are now World Champion quality. I dunno, Dandy, maybe I could reach down and pluck out some of this wheat by the root and find ya talent and ya shine for you. “
* Odin bends down and starts diggin through the dirt. *
“ Spence, I dunno, Maybe we can find Joseph Smiths golden Nogger tablets and you can get yourself a fuckin clue.
Riggs, here, take a fist full a wheat and rub it between your pitted course pepper grind-R of a cunt and bake me some sour dough to go with those sour grapes you about to spill all up in here about how you’re being over looked. You aint over looked, you’re just being over fucking booked. You can get pushed to the moon - that don’t mean you gone make it - just go ask Noble Savage. So you might be thinking that the unexpected is Allison Riggs upsetting the old guard and winning the world championship. You’re not the first female world champion that we’ve seen, so slow your A cups to a crawl. This is 2019, not 1999. Tits and a slick isnt new to the world of pro wrestling. You had the chance to make a statement last week and you were a complete non-factor.
As you for Teo Blaze, I’m just sick and tired of you failing upwards into greener pastures. There are guys that work a lot harder than you in this company that get not even a tenth of your success or recognition. All that will end at Execution. I’m going to expose you for the fraud that you are and make sure you don’t get anywhere near this world championship. Trust me when I tell you that you aint gonna get that Farmers bail out. Nah, not this time. Tort aint gone help you dig yourself out of the hole that you constantly put yourself in and the hole that I’mma bury you in.
I’m here in middle America surrounded by midcard talent on all sides and I don’t see a leader among you. Dandy is a former US champion, midcard extraordinaire suddenly now gonna walk onto the scene and tell the All Father how to be a main event. Nilla you even get the club card in the mail yet? As far as I’m concerned, you’re on the probation period.
* Odin continues to walk around and admire the landscape. *
That's what Dandy is secretly sweating about right now. He knows the truth even with the world ‘publicly’ patting him on the back.
No Dandy you wont be a transitional champion. *wink wink*
No Dandy you didnt win so that Ryan Lockheart could save face * wink wink *
No Dandy, guys like you are the future of wrestling * wink wink*
No Dandy, that powerpoint is a shitfire way to get over *wink wink*
Stop, Dandy. All you’re doin is givin Beau Blaze a sense that his time is soon upon us.
Spoilers: It’ll never be upon us.
I mean, Dandy, if’n you want to spit bars, my bars are better.
If you wanna trade holds and wrist locks, my shits cleaner. Everything that I do in that ring is crisp and clean from decades of being in matches that all ya’ll are just starting to experience.
Teos over here with his notes, ready to drop dates on me like I drop cinder block fists. He’s ready to tell me all the big time matches that he’s been in and for everyone he thinks he’s been apart of, I got ten of the real deal.
See, that's the thing, ya’ll aint the real deal. Ya’ll just aint ready to lead the company. Hell, ya’ll dont even know what leading looks like. Me, Its just another day of a bunch of knuckle head plebs coming up in here trying to tell the world that I aint got it.
Then I got and give it to them.
This starts and ends with ya’ll sucking my dick. With ya’ll giving out to the undeniable truth of the matter that I am THE most important wrestler in our industry. That didnt happen overnight, not from one match.
It didnt happen by being a woman.
And it didnt happen because I bought sunglasses at the sunglass hut.
It was years of honing my skills and craft to where all ya’ll look up to me and you dont even know why anymore. Ya’ll sick of seeing me holding world title after world title. I held my world titles in one year than anyone in WCF history and ya’ll think I went and got complacent.
LOL
Its cuz you jealous and ignorant and at Execution, you’ll pay for all that and I’ll tell you what, Ragnarok don’t care if you were the King of All Media, slab city or Confusion.
Ragnarok is the destroyer of worlds.. And so am I.
Execution is the field where ya’ll dreams go to die but we’ll see who can really lead. We’ll take the journey together but none of you will make it out alive. Speaking of making it alive, I’m going to take a trip to Slab City and see where everyone else is going to end up.
Ready or not. Here I come.
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PART THREE: THE RING
* We follow along in the back seat of Odin Balfores custom Beamer of Death. Yah, that's right, it rides again. Odin is decked out in a fifty-thousand dollar suit and ten thousand dollar shoes and a giant gold and diamond ring on his right finger. James Cameron is sitting shotgun with that gorilla-killa footage. *
ODIN
“ You know where we’re coming from, right? Gettin my AW Hall of Fame ring sized. Now, I know what you’re thinking, that there aint no hall of fame and that's because I just started with the company. See, I got the call the other day from Tort to go get sized. Its official, we’re doing this and I haven't even claimed my world title at Execution, yet. This is what happens when you reach my caliber of wrestler. I know that this is treading into the unknown for a lot of you, even my friend Alex Richards. I aint gotten to where I been today by tellin the world that they all can beat me. Sorry Alex but if you wana scrub along with that underdog gimmick, then you can underdog on my nut sack. He and the king of Slab city. Oh, its a touching story for sure, if’n if the Bad Mother Fucker had heart strings to pull. I didnt come to Action Wrestling for a feel good story. I came to be the VILLAIN OF THE STORY. I came to drop bombs and break necks. Knock a dumb mother fucker out and there are plenty of dumb mother fuckers in this match.
I mean, I get it, James, they’re all on the hunt for me. I like it that way. Come after me and get your dome clean rock’d one. Alex Richards is sittin there going: ‘ nope.nah. Nope. no. no. hell Nawh,” He’s excited but he’s out of this. Straight up side steppin the fact that he knows after seeing me choke Slaming the shit out of Noble Savage that The Enforcer will be next. He knows we only friends when he’s got a fist full of that white little shoe string they tie to the turnbuckle pad. That's when you know you safe cuz you got the white flag flappin in the breeze. Look around that chamber, there aint no white flag. Just plexiglass, twisted steel and sevent feet of sex appeal, baby. We might be Enforcers any day of the week but when I’m out there jet flyin, kiss stealin and wheelin and dealin, hot damn am I a son of a gun and lets face it; he’s just a under dog-faced gremlin. He can go home and stick that Zim Quilla gimmick up his ass and have Rebecca tap dance on his spine because to try and unknot that busted up back I’mma bout to give him if he gets in my way. Homeboy couldnt throw TFK, Dandy and Fetal Still Born Jayzeus a beatin but he gonna come with it now? Pah-lease, I’m gonna straight up crack rock that mother fucker and Fetal Still Born Jayzeus is gonna have a plus one pop to that Slab city. Spence, just stand there at the city limits with a clicker cuz I’mma send all these mother fuckers to see you. The real Jesus rose from the dead in three days and its been what, five or six years and you still aint got your career off the ground. Speaking of Spence and Slab City, that's where we doing next. Walk around that place like a pimp straight out the congo.
James Cameron:
Odin, just exactly how big is your ring finger ?
ODIN:
Ring size is a twenty. Funny story, Back when I used to train Falcons they had to perch on my ring finger cuz my forearms are too big.
James Cameron:
“ You trained Falcons?”
ODIN:
Falcons, six legged goats, eight legged horses. When you own a island nation by being so damn successful in this business, you gotta spend your money on something. Dandys just lucky he can finally afford those dollar store eggs and that free bowl of soup that came with his hair cut. Pretty soon, he can finally afford to rummage around the coats at Goodwill and find loose change. I heard for his championship bonus that Tort adopted a highway for him and gave him a sack of oranges and a case of water to sell at the off ramp. I belt he’s almost got enough to by that new Pumpkin Spice Skoal Chewing Tobacco. Homeboys really movin up in the world - rather - WAS - really movin up in the world. Tort, I hope that Adopt a highway is refundable cuz after this week the DOT is gonna need that money back
LMAO.
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PART FOUR: WELCOME TO SLAB CITY
Slab City: City Limits
* The Beamer of Death is parked off to the shoulder right in front of the green road sign that tells the world that they are entering Slab City. We exit on the driver side, right in behind Odin as his huge frame blots out the sun from our view. What is in our view through the mirror is a man selling water and oranges on the roadside. Its hot, dusty and everything is stained red with the trail of woke fuccboi tears. We can look up at the rock face to our right and the shadows hit the rocks just right and we can see Dandys face in the whole of the formation as drops of water leak out from the rock. We can conclude at the fuccboi wagon train stops here. It stops at Execution. A 60’s VW bus comes rollin through with a satellite on the roof and a big Decal of To Blaze plastered on the side. Theres a scab on the side of the road next to the sign with a counter and chalks another soul up to these Parts Unknown. Odin walks up to the scab like:
* He told jew he’d come in like a pimp. *
SCAB *sighing*
“Welcome to Slab City where salvation lies within.”
* The Scab is about to click the counter but Odin slaps it out of his hand so hard the tiny object crashes through the mountain.*
ODIN:
“I swear to Jam Willy I’ll murk you where you stand. Where is KOS?”
SCAB:
“ He’s not here. He left to get ready for his match. Did you get lost too; looking for Wade Moors Home for Wayward Souls? “
ODIN:
“ No, I know exactly where I am and I’m going to stay on this side of the line - for now. Whos in charge if Spencer is gone?”
SCAB
“ Why our great general of wokeness, the bronze statue of Colin Kappernick, of course.”
* Odin groans. If this was anymore tongue and cheek, KOS could floss with his own prostate exam.*
SCAB:
“Lets go, I’ll take you to him.”
* The scab leads Odin and us into town and towards the center of SLAB CITY where the statue STANS with regal wokeness. Odin puts his hands on his hips and looks around with a snort.*
ODIN:
“I want you all to look around, AW; this is where you’ll end up when I’m through. No superman socks and Nike stocks can save you from the Villain of the Story. You saw Teo Del Sol rolling up and digging out his lawn chair so that he can tell you that he was there before it was cool. Teo, I’ll make sure I look you in the eyes before I choke break you out of the main event. You dont belong here. In my eyes, you havent earned this. You never earned this. Everyone might forget your lack of dependability but I havent. One thing ya’ll aint taking away from me is the fact that I’m here 25/8. To me, you’re still waiting for your one kuppa kawfee. King of All Media - Bah, every king dies but the villain is forever.
Remember that, Allison Riggs. You’ll burn from the crotch up before a man tells you what to do but you’re going into this match without a clue. You are the newest one with the most to prove but don’t think you’re excluded cuz you’re a woman - there is only enough room on top of the mountain for me. You saw Dandy weeping before we came in; that's because he knows whats gonna happen even before its all over on Sunday.
So lets talk about Sunday. Lets talk about the next stage in my career. One more world title. One more company to lead. Ya’ll think that the journey stops when you get to where I am, hell, for ninety-nine percent, you would have been happy with a career like mine eight years ago- me too. I thought I was happy too. I thought:
‘ Damn, it cant get any better than this.’
It can. It can because I keep fighting and thriving and getting better. You’re trying to win a race where I already have a twenty year head start. You all want to be me and have a career like mine. Like I said before, take my empire of dirt. Live here in Slab City. Tell the world how much a legend you are but at Execution in that Elimination Chamber, I am going to redefine what it means to be LEGENDARY IN THIS INDUSTRY when I beat all of you and raise that belt over my head and a new chapter in the story begins for myself and Action Wrestling - a chapter where woke little fuccbois like you run, flail and seek shelter in places like this because you cant be a BAD MOTHER FUCKER like me.
Everyone loves to hate the Villain, they just don’t want to admit it.
Pray if you have to.
Beg if you must.
But know that I will not be listening.
And Nah, That shit aint gone be ALRIGHT