Lights, Camera, Action Wrestling! Ep. 1
May 12, 2019 3:24:35 GMT -5
Torture, Beau Del Sol, and 4 more like this
Post by CJ Phoenix on May 12, 2019 3:24:35 GMT -5
Somewhere in the skies...a voice can be heard in the darkness.
?: Two hour flight delay my ass, that's why I got my own plane.
A sudden flash of light ends the reign of shadows. A laptop's camera reveals CJ Phoenix as he checks to make sure everything in the stream is set up properly.
Phoenix: Hello, living creatures! I'm Chase Jackson, also known in Wrasslin' Land as CJ Phoenix. It ain't easy planning for parenthood, even when you planned for it. I'm flying home to be reunited with my beautiful wife, Kaiyah, and our three month old son, Kaiser. Ahh the blessings, but y'all aren't here for family matters. This is about recapping the previous Action Wrestling event with highlights that you may or may not have seen! Got the lights ready. The camera's rolling. Let's recap some Action Wrestling!
The camera turns into a split screen view with the other side showing a clip of Camila Gonzalez slamming the door in Dandy DiVito's face.
Phoenix: So the first Clash after Havoc sees Dandy DiVito brutalizing an innocent door until Camila Gonzalez comes out. He's extremely frustrated that Sam Kidsgrove ate the last slice of pizza they ordered the night before Havoc, so he demands that Camila gives him a 1v1 game of Mario Party against Kidsgrove at Evolution 2 so he can thoroughly kick his ass. Also, some opportunity was stolen or something. Icing on the cake there.
The next image to appear is one of the announcers.
Phoenix: We get the Monday Night Clash intro before getting sent over to Chris Avery and Billy. The latter of which must've inhaled whatever savage anger toxins that DiVito breathed in before trying to vandalize a door. He went from introducing the show to pulling out a fully automatic gun and started verbally shooting. Thankfully, fire-breathing dragon Billy finally ran out of ammo, and the show was able to commence before fatalities could happen.
As CJ continues to talk about the show, images and video clips appear on the other side to go along with what he's saying.
Derrick Vayden & Magic Maddox vs Carlos Lopez & Power Perez
Phoenix: After the dust has settled, we get our first wrestling match of the night. Fun Fact, Carlos Lopez is sometimes referred to as "C-Lo" not only because it's part of his name, but also because he can spot anything that falls under the sofa from remotes to car keys. Maddox and Perez beat each other senseless, Vayden channels Loki from Smite by one-shotting Carlos Lopez. This causes a third of the fans at home to throw their remotes at their televisions and demand Vayden be removed from the game...wait, false alarm. He connects with a Backstabber for the win, which was still technically one-shotting because the match was over after that. I can already hear people going "too OP, please nerf".
A picture of William Moor is shown staring at the camera.
Phoenix: After a solid opening match between two pairs of fierce competitors, we go from being on the edge of our seats to seeing someone completely off his rocker. Dr. William and Mr. Wade tossed a coin backstage and it landed on heads, so William gets vessel control. Will apologizes for what he did after QDT put an END to his elimination record. For those of you who don't know, Moor caused several thousands of dollars worth of damage. Not only did he destroy a bunch of production equipment, he also beat up the people that set it up afterwards. Good guy Willie warns Quixote Della Torre that one of these days the coin will land on tails and Wade will take over and attempt to murder QDT. Never in my life have I been so invested in a coin toss. Also, when that coin lands on tails, QDT might need ADT.
Eli Lobo vs Q.D.T.(C) for the 201 & Fun Championship
Phoenix: Speaking of Scrabble word champion Quixote, he had to defend his title in a mach against the innovative Eli Lobo. Before the match, Quixote is quite flummoxed at the fact that the fans are cheering for him despite him telling him that he's a bad person. He's not gonna sign autographs at five in the morning or kiss babies like he's running for office. Unfortunately for him, the true heels in this match were the fans themselves, telling him that his parents deserved what he did to them........alright. The match quickly turns into a game of follow the leader as Lobo leads QDT on a wild goose chase. The goose soon gets cooked as Quixote connects with a spear that was so devastating, it killed Eli Lobo's stunt double for an upcoming movie.
A picture of William Moor and Eli Lobo on the video screen shows.
Phoenix: The coin of destiny says "heads" again, so William Moor is concerned after accidentally coming across the incapacitated Eli Lobo. Meanwhile, in-ring Lobo goes full on loco and connects with a low blow to Quixote. Eli Lobo wins the match, stopping QDT just short of becoming the longest reigning 201 & fun champion in history. Things get even less fun for Quixote when Eli rips off his face and reveals himself to be Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. Then, Scorpion rips his own face off and reveals himself to be Alexander Pasternak. Finally, to add injury to insult...to injury, we see the grueling image of QDT and Eli Lobo looking like they were mauled by tigers. Someone call an ambulance.
Hazel Overton vs Jakob Lister vs LA Johnny Stylez
Hazel Overton and Ashley appear on the screen along with some hack that can be seen running away.
Phoenix: Hazel Overton scares some chump off and stealing the microphone. She then throws verbal jabs at Jakob Lister and LA Johnny Stylez, her opponents in the triple threat match they're about to have. Things seem to be going well until Ashley pokes the bear that is Lister, causing him to lose his mind and go beserk in their match. Hazel Eyes White Dragon and LA Johnny Cage put up a great fight, but they were no match for Jake the Barbarian.
James Wolf vs Alex Kincaid
Phoenix: Next up we have James Wolf taking on Alex Kincaid. While Alex is accompanied by his wife Alyssa as they head to the ring in a showing of love, James heads out with the intention of showing hatred. One fan in particular had apparently beaten him in Madden while streaming and was yelling about his triumph. Wolf heard it and responded with the middle finger and a "fuck you" to the streamer and everyone else that was in the chat. Kincaid knocks Wolf out of the ring and could legitimately win by count out, but he wants to win with honor. He goes out and retrieves James, who thanks him by hitting him with the Reign of Terror and winning the match. Can't wait until we see that Madden rematch.
Scott Slayer vs Titan Jax
Phoenix: Newcomer Scott Slayer found out about the toxic toxins in the air that caused people to enter rage mode, so he did the smart thing and came all the way down to the ring with a gas mask on. Smart kid. Strom the Slayer's opponent is Titan Jax, and no he is not what happens when you give Jax a Mega Mushroom please stop asking me that. In a story stright out of mythology somewhere, Scott slays the Titan, which means he's rewarded with 300 experience points, thus causing him to level up. Good job.
The next picture is of a crack in the door.
Phoenix: Well gang, we've finally gotten to the bottom of this mystery. It turns out that there wasn't an aura in the air causing anger. It's whatever the hell the two guys behind that door are sniffing. Probably The Hulk's protein powder.
Bobby Rage vs Jay Mack
Phoenix: Back to wrestling! Or maybe not as we see Bobby Rage live up to his name and make quick work of Jay Mack in brutal fashion. He then calls out the Warrior from Gauntlet, I mean Scott Slayer, claiming that he's pissed at the fact that Scott checked in at the pit stop mere seconds before Bobby did, causing him to be eliminated from the Havoc Race. Of course I could be wrong and Bobby and Scott might have agreed to go get dinner and Rage was tired of eating, seeing as he shouts "I WANT TO EAT!!! SO GET OUT HERE SLAYER...AND LETSSSS...DOOOOOO...THIIIIIIISSS!!!". I hope they get their food in a timely manner. Scott apparently hasn't had his fill of slaying yet, so he comes down to the ring and suggests they go fishing. Just kidding, they beat the hell out of each other.
A clip of Sam Kidsgrove and Dandy DiVito fighting all the way to Camila Gonzalez's office shows.
Phoenix: Remember when DiVito went on a rampage wanting to fight Kidsgrove? Well, they finally locked eyes and went to battle like they were Pokemon trainers. The brawl becomes a tornado and travels all the way to Camila's office where she has just finished ripping a line of Hulk's Protein Powder. She finally decided to give the to hotheads what they wanted. It'll be Sam Kidsgrove challenging for Dandy DiVito's United States Championship at Evolution 2 in a Hell In A Cell match. Awesome. Everybody gets what they wants. Now as long as neither of them do anything drastic, we should be fine. Sam immediately ruins the moment by powerbombing Dandy through Camila's desk, triggering the rage fuel and causing her to suspend them both until Evolution 2. I would say that she went too far by doing that, but they did destroy the catering area in their battle. That alone is more of a crime than a few thousand dollars of production equipment damage.
Baz vs Claire Hawkins(C) for the Television Championship
Phoenix: After everyone has finished mourning the death of the catering area, Baz takes on Claire Hawkins for the Television Championship. Baz appears to be disinterested in the match because he found out that the title he was fighting for wasn't a universal remote. Claire retains her title. Then, she nearly intoduces her foot to Dream Daddy Wesley before he stops himself, calls mulligan, and retreats. I will say, I liked seeing the Exploder Suplex. A personal favorite move. Glad to see people still keeping that bomb toss alive.
Estrella Luiz & Lissie Hope vs Warriors of the North
Phoenix: After some random gibberish pretending to be commercials, Estrella Luiz and Lissie Hope battled the Warriors of the North. Of course upon seeing that team name, I initially thought that Odin and Tyr would show up. They didn't, but Axel Hanson and Nyles Hendricks are just as brutal. In a great match that was back and forth, Kennedy Matthews pops up on the video screen to let us all know that she's not there tonight. We the North Warriors take advantage of this and pick up the win. Also, it turns out that Kennedy lied to us as she hops in the ring and attempts to break Estrella's arm. Lissie comes in for the save, but then Matthews challenges them to a match between them and her and a partner of her choosing. If her partner turns out to be Clay Matthews, I'm buying front row tickets.
A picture of the Cowboys From Hell appears.
Phoenix: Our cocaine-powered Tag Team Champions, Beau Blaze and Zombie McMorris have inhaled bathsalts and are now challenging any team that Camila Gonzalez sees as the best team to put the butts in seats to a title match at Evolution. Annnnnd just like that, we now have three mystery opponents to try and figure out in the last ten minutes. We may need Mystery Inc. for this one.
Talent Enhancers vs Bishop & Priest, Red, White, & Bruised Segment
Phoenix: In a match that came and went like a check meeting taxes and bills, the Talent Enhancers got a win against Bishop and Priest. The Church won't be too happy about that one. Speaking of unhappy, Karlie and Nikki aren't happy that either team is even in the division. They tell Jenna that their only competition is the Tag Champs. Careful, ladies. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The video package for the Prince Jimmy Dean Memorial Battle Royal plays. Phoenix just lets it play out of respect.
Camila Meets With Torture
Phoenix: Camila is walking off her anger when she comes across Torture, a man who's like an empty roll of toilet paper. He don't take shit from anybody. Such evidence can be seen when he stops Hazel Overton mid-demand and denies her Evolution request because she was rude. Instead, he gives her a rematch against Claire Hawkins for the TV Title next week. The Talent Enhancers come in and make demands. Tort calls out their endless bitching and tosses the Warriors of the North in a Tag Title match against the Talent Enhancers, Bishop and Priest, Red, White, and Bruised, and the good ole boys from Cocaine Land.
TFK vs Shadowlove vs Chris Santiago
Phoenix: We return to the whole wrestling thing as a triple threat match takes place between TFK, Shadowlove, and Chris Santiago. The three have an incredible match that could've gone in anyone's favor. Well, except for the guy in row twelve that got drunk and accidentally spilled his drink on his girlfriend. Gonna be an awkward drive home there. Shadowlove rolls up Santiago for the three count and the win, but TFK's not done yet. After the match, he challenges Odin Balfore to a match at Evolution. Will Odin accept? Who knows! I mean, he can. Asgard will be fine with Fenrir at the helm.
The split screen shows Jaice Wilds in the ring.
Phoenix: Jaice Wilds talks to us about breaking up his feud with Corey Black in order to pursue better things, like the soon to be official Hardcore Championship apparently. Unfortunately for him, Corey plays the role of psycho ex and attacks him, essentially telling him they're not over yet as they have a match at Evolution.
The ensuing picture is one of FPV
Phoenix: It appears we've gone from "I'm mad as hell and want to fight" night to "I came out here to challenge someone to a Xiaolin Showdown at Evolution" night as FPV makes his return. He tells us that he wants a match with Roy Speede, and much like TFK calling out Odin Balfore, we're left on a cliffhanger. Suppose Speede and Balfore decline. Do we get TFK vs FPV by default? Hmmmm....
Spencer Adams & Kyle Kemp vs Lincoln Kuechly & Jared Holmes
Phoenix: The final match, and second to last part of the show, presented the team of Spencer Adams and Kyle Kemp taking on Lincoln Kuechly and Jared Holmes. It's definitely a match that could have been a five star thriller, but Jared Holmes' shift ended early. Since he was sick of everyone's shit, he just left mid match, causing Lincoln to be the victim of a two-on-one assault. Adams and Kemp get the win, but Link one-ups Holmes as he is even more sick of everybody's shit. He doesn't just leave the ring, he straight up announces that he quits. Sad, really. He could've at least stayed long enough to find out who Kennedy's partner will be.
The split screen shows a picture of the contract signing.
Phoenix: Last, but not least, we have the terms and conditions meeting, I mean contract signing. Ryan Lockhart and Michael X must face the challenge of accepting the terms and conditions to being a part of Evolution before they can download their World Championship match DLC. Of course, X Mike's the spot also has an AW contract to sign as he isn't even a member of the roster despite being the winner of the Havoc Rumble match. Lockhart signs the contract. So far so good. Michael X kicks Lockhart and then signs the Evolution contract. Good. Wait, Michael come back. What are you doing? You forgot to sign the AW one? Is it because you don't like root beer? Give it a chance. Root beer is great.
The screen returns to a normal single screen.
Phoenix: And thus concludes the recap of Monday Night Clash. We got a lot of questions to answer now. Questions like will Odin and Roy accept the challenges given to them? Who will Kennedy Matthews team up with? How many of the fans got a bag of cocaine from the tag champs? Hopefully at least one of these questions will be answered. The plane's starting to descend, so I'm signing off. Stay safe out there everybody, and remember to say your condolences to the food we lost in the catering area.
?: Two hour flight delay my ass, that's why I got my own plane.
A sudden flash of light ends the reign of shadows. A laptop's camera reveals CJ Phoenix as he checks to make sure everything in the stream is set up properly.
Phoenix: Hello, living creatures! I'm Chase Jackson, also known in Wrasslin' Land as CJ Phoenix. It ain't easy planning for parenthood, even when you planned for it. I'm flying home to be reunited with my beautiful wife, Kaiyah, and our three month old son, Kaiser. Ahh the blessings, but y'all aren't here for family matters. This is about recapping the previous Action Wrestling event with highlights that you may or may not have seen! Got the lights ready. The camera's rolling. Let's recap some Action Wrestling!
The camera turns into a split screen view with the other side showing a clip of Camila Gonzalez slamming the door in Dandy DiVito's face.
Phoenix: So the first Clash after Havoc sees Dandy DiVito brutalizing an innocent door until Camila Gonzalez comes out. He's extremely frustrated that Sam Kidsgrove ate the last slice of pizza they ordered the night before Havoc, so he demands that Camila gives him a 1v1 game of Mario Party against Kidsgrove at Evolution 2 so he can thoroughly kick his ass. Also, some opportunity was stolen or something. Icing on the cake there.
The next image to appear is one of the announcers.
Phoenix: We get the Monday Night Clash intro before getting sent over to Chris Avery and Billy. The latter of which must've inhaled whatever savage anger toxins that DiVito breathed in before trying to vandalize a door. He went from introducing the show to pulling out a fully automatic gun and started verbally shooting. Thankfully, fire-breathing dragon Billy finally ran out of ammo, and the show was able to commence before fatalities could happen.
As CJ continues to talk about the show, images and video clips appear on the other side to go along with what he's saying.
Derrick Vayden & Magic Maddox vs Carlos Lopez & Power Perez
Phoenix: After the dust has settled, we get our first wrestling match of the night. Fun Fact, Carlos Lopez is sometimes referred to as "C-Lo" not only because it's part of his name, but also because he can spot anything that falls under the sofa from remotes to car keys. Maddox and Perez beat each other senseless, Vayden channels Loki from Smite by one-shotting Carlos Lopez. This causes a third of the fans at home to throw their remotes at their televisions and demand Vayden be removed from the game...wait, false alarm. He connects with a Backstabber for the win, which was still technically one-shotting because the match was over after that. I can already hear people going "too OP, please nerf".
A picture of William Moor is shown staring at the camera.
Phoenix: After a solid opening match between two pairs of fierce competitors, we go from being on the edge of our seats to seeing someone completely off his rocker. Dr. William and Mr. Wade tossed a coin backstage and it landed on heads, so William gets vessel control. Will apologizes for what he did after QDT put an END to his elimination record. For those of you who don't know, Moor caused several thousands of dollars worth of damage. Not only did he destroy a bunch of production equipment, he also beat up the people that set it up afterwards. Good guy Willie warns Quixote Della Torre that one of these days the coin will land on tails and Wade will take over and attempt to murder QDT. Never in my life have I been so invested in a coin toss. Also, when that coin lands on tails, QDT might need ADT.
Eli Lobo vs Q.D.T.(C) for the 201 & Fun Championship
Phoenix: Speaking of Scrabble word champion Quixote, he had to defend his title in a mach against the innovative Eli Lobo. Before the match, Quixote is quite flummoxed at the fact that the fans are cheering for him despite him telling him that he's a bad person. He's not gonna sign autographs at five in the morning or kiss babies like he's running for office. Unfortunately for him, the true heels in this match were the fans themselves, telling him that his parents deserved what he did to them........alright. The match quickly turns into a game of follow the leader as Lobo leads QDT on a wild goose chase. The goose soon gets cooked as Quixote connects with a spear that was so devastating, it killed Eli Lobo's stunt double for an upcoming movie.
A picture of William Moor and Eli Lobo on the video screen shows.
Phoenix: The coin of destiny says "heads" again, so William Moor is concerned after accidentally coming across the incapacitated Eli Lobo. Meanwhile, in-ring Lobo goes full on loco and connects with a low blow to Quixote. Eli Lobo wins the match, stopping QDT just short of becoming the longest reigning 201 & fun champion in history. Things get even less fun for Quixote when Eli rips off his face and reveals himself to be Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. Then, Scorpion rips his own face off and reveals himself to be Alexander Pasternak. Finally, to add injury to insult...to injury, we see the grueling image of QDT and Eli Lobo looking like they were mauled by tigers. Someone call an ambulance.
Hazel Overton vs Jakob Lister vs LA Johnny Stylez
Hazel Overton and Ashley appear on the screen along with some hack that can be seen running away.
Phoenix: Hazel Overton scares some chump off and stealing the microphone. She then throws verbal jabs at Jakob Lister and LA Johnny Stylez, her opponents in the triple threat match they're about to have. Things seem to be going well until Ashley pokes the bear that is Lister, causing him to lose his mind and go beserk in their match. Hazel Eyes White Dragon and LA Johnny Cage put up a great fight, but they were no match for Jake the Barbarian.
James Wolf vs Alex Kincaid
Phoenix: Next up we have James Wolf taking on Alex Kincaid. While Alex is accompanied by his wife Alyssa as they head to the ring in a showing of love, James heads out with the intention of showing hatred. One fan in particular had apparently beaten him in Madden while streaming and was yelling about his triumph. Wolf heard it and responded with the middle finger and a "fuck you" to the streamer and everyone else that was in the chat. Kincaid knocks Wolf out of the ring and could legitimately win by count out, but he wants to win with honor. He goes out and retrieves James, who thanks him by hitting him with the Reign of Terror and winning the match. Can't wait until we see that Madden rematch.
Scott Slayer vs Titan Jax
Phoenix: Newcomer Scott Slayer found out about the toxic toxins in the air that caused people to enter rage mode, so he did the smart thing and came all the way down to the ring with a gas mask on. Smart kid. Strom the Slayer's opponent is Titan Jax, and no he is not what happens when you give Jax a Mega Mushroom please stop asking me that. In a story stright out of mythology somewhere, Scott slays the Titan, which means he's rewarded with 300 experience points, thus causing him to level up. Good job.
The next picture is of a crack in the door.
Phoenix: Well gang, we've finally gotten to the bottom of this mystery. It turns out that there wasn't an aura in the air causing anger. It's whatever the hell the two guys behind that door are sniffing. Probably The Hulk's protein powder.
Bobby Rage vs Jay Mack
Phoenix: Back to wrestling! Or maybe not as we see Bobby Rage live up to his name and make quick work of Jay Mack in brutal fashion. He then calls out the Warrior from Gauntlet, I mean Scott Slayer, claiming that he's pissed at the fact that Scott checked in at the pit stop mere seconds before Bobby did, causing him to be eliminated from the Havoc Race. Of course I could be wrong and Bobby and Scott might have agreed to go get dinner and Rage was tired of eating, seeing as he shouts "I WANT TO EAT!!! SO GET OUT HERE SLAYER...AND LETSSSS...DOOOOOO...THIIIIIIISSS!!!". I hope they get their food in a timely manner. Scott apparently hasn't had his fill of slaying yet, so he comes down to the ring and suggests they go fishing. Just kidding, they beat the hell out of each other.
A clip of Sam Kidsgrove and Dandy DiVito fighting all the way to Camila Gonzalez's office shows.
Phoenix: Remember when DiVito went on a rampage wanting to fight Kidsgrove? Well, they finally locked eyes and went to battle like they were Pokemon trainers. The brawl becomes a tornado and travels all the way to Camila's office where she has just finished ripping a line of Hulk's Protein Powder. She finally decided to give the to hotheads what they wanted. It'll be Sam Kidsgrove challenging for Dandy DiVito's United States Championship at Evolution 2 in a Hell In A Cell match. Awesome. Everybody gets what they wants. Now as long as neither of them do anything drastic, we should be fine. Sam immediately ruins the moment by powerbombing Dandy through Camila's desk, triggering the rage fuel and causing her to suspend them both until Evolution 2. I would say that she went too far by doing that, but they did destroy the catering area in their battle. That alone is more of a crime than a few thousand dollars of production equipment damage.
Baz vs Claire Hawkins(C) for the Television Championship
Phoenix: After everyone has finished mourning the death of the catering area, Baz takes on Claire Hawkins for the Television Championship. Baz appears to be disinterested in the match because he found out that the title he was fighting for wasn't a universal remote. Claire retains her title. Then, she nearly intoduces her foot to Dream Daddy Wesley before he stops himself, calls mulligan, and retreats. I will say, I liked seeing the Exploder Suplex. A personal favorite move. Glad to see people still keeping that bomb toss alive.
Estrella Luiz & Lissie Hope vs Warriors of the North
Phoenix: After some random gibberish pretending to be commercials, Estrella Luiz and Lissie Hope battled the Warriors of the North. Of course upon seeing that team name, I initially thought that Odin and Tyr would show up. They didn't, but Axel Hanson and Nyles Hendricks are just as brutal. In a great match that was back and forth, Kennedy Matthews pops up on the video screen to let us all know that she's not there tonight. We the North Warriors take advantage of this and pick up the win. Also, it turns out that Kennedy lied to us as she hops in the ring and attempts to break Estrella's arm. Lissie comes in for the save, but then Matthews challenges them to a match between them and her and a partner of her choosing. If her partner turns out to be Clay Matthews, I'm buying front row tickets.
A picture of the Cowboys From Hell appears.
Phoenix: Our cocaine-powered Tag Team Champions, Beau Blaze and Zombie McMorris have inhaled bathsalts and are now challenging any team that Camila Gonzalez sees as the best team to put the butts in seats to a title match at Evolution. Annnnnd just like that, we now have three mystery opponents to try and figure out in the last ten minutes. We may need Mystery Inc. for this one.
Talent Enhancers vs Bishop & Priest, Red, White, & Bruised Segment
Phoenix: In a match that came and went like a check meeting taxes and bills, the Talent Enhancers got a win against Bishop and Priest. The Church won't be too happy about that one. Speaking of unhappy, Karlie and Nikki aren't happy that either team is even in the division. They tell Jenna that their only competition is the Tag Champs. Careful, ladies. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The video package for the Prince Jimmy Dean Memorial Battle Royal plays. Phoenix just lets it play out of respect.
Camila Meets With Torture
Phoenix: Camila is walking off her anger when she comes across Torture, a man who's like an empty roll of toilet paper. He don't take shit from anybody. Such evidence can be seen when he stops Hazel Overton mid-demand and denies her Evolution request because she was rude. Instead, he gives her a rematch against Claire Hawkins for the TV Title next week. The Talent Enhancers come in and make demands. Tort calls out their endless bitching and tosses the Warriors of the North in a Tag Title match against the Talent Enhancers, Bishop and Priest, Red, White, and Bruised, and the good ole boys from Cocaine Land.
TFK vs Shadowlove vs Chris Santiago
Phoenix: We return to the whole wrestling thing as a triple threat match takes place between TFK, Shadowlove, and Chris Santiago. The three have an incredible match that could've gone in anyone's favor. Well, except for the guy in row twelve that got drunk and accidentally spilled his drink on his girlfriend. Gonna be an awkward drive home there. Shadowlove rolls up Santiago for the three count and the win, but TFK's not done yet. After the match, he challenges Odin Balfore to a match at Evolution. Will Odin accept? Who knows! I mean, he can. Asgard will be fine with Fenrir at the helm.
The split screen shows Jaice Wilds in the ring.
Phoenix: Jaice Wilds talks to us about breaking up his feud with Corey Black in order to pursue better things, like the soon to be official Hardcore Championship apparently. Unfortunately for him, Corey plays the role of psycho ex and attacks him, essentially telling him they're not over yet as they have a match at Evolution.
The ensuing picture is one of FPV
Phoenix: It appears we've gone from "I'm mad as hell and want to fight" night to "I came out here to challenge someone to a Xiaolin Showdown at Evolution" night as FPV makes his return. He tells us that he wants a match with Roy Speede, and much like TFK calling out Odin Balfore, we're left on a cliffhanger. Suppose Speede and Balfore decline. Do we get TFK vs FPV by default? Hmmmm....
Spencer Adams & Kyle Kemp vs Lincoln Kuechly & Jared Holmes
Phoenix: The final match, and second to last part of the show, presented the team of Spencer Adams and Kyle Kemp taking on Lincoln Kuechly and Jared Holmes. It's definitely a match that could have been a five star thriller, but Jared Holmes' shift ended early. Since he was sick of everyone's shit, he just left mid match, causing Lincoln to be the victim of a two-on-one assault. Adams and Kemp get the win, but Link one-ups Holmes as he is even more sick of everybody's shit. He doesn't just leave the ring, he straight up announces that he quits. Sad, really. He could've at least stayed long enough to find out who Kennedy's partner will be.
The split screen shows a picture of the contract signing.
Phoenix: Last, but not least, we have the terms and conditions meeting, I mean contract signing. Ryan Lockhart and Michael X must face the challenge of accepting the terms and conditions to being a part of Evolution before they can download their World Championship match DLC. Of course, X Mike's the spot also has an AW contract to sign as he isn't even a member of the roster despite being the winner of the Havoc Rumble match. Lockhart signs the contract. So far so good. Michael X kicks Lockhart and then signs the Evolution contract. Good. Wait, Michael come back. What are you doing? You forgot to sign the AW one? Is it because you don't like root beer? Give it a chance. Root beer is great.
The screen returns to a normal single screen.
Phoenix: And thus concludes the recap of Monday Night Clash. We got a lot of questions to answer now. Questions like will Odin and Roy accept the challenges given to them? Who will Kennedy Matthews team up with? How many of the fans got a bag of cocaine from the tag champs? Hopefully at least one of these questions will be answered. The plane's starting to descend, so I'm signing off. Stay safe out there everybody, and remember to say your condolences to the food we lost in the catering area.