Post by The Papa John's Pizza Man on Mar 4, 2018 18:20:14 GMT -5
The Scene opens in a dark cave. A low-budget camera is set up in the corner of the cave. Tye Cereal Man walks into view with the Cereal in his hand and picks up the camera.
The Cereal Man: Greetings, Cerealites. My name is The Cereal Man. I am a simple man. I have only one desire, as I have stated before.
I seek to return Cereality to it's former glory, using the guidance of the 8 Cereal Owls.
Luckily the first of the Cereal Mannequins, named: Frederick, has decided to reward me for my victory over the Master of Mispelling and Knight of Not Hot. Tonight we finally get tp recueve a message from one of The Eight Spacial Cereal Buildings. And I have decided to share it with you.
The Cereal Man turns the camera to three stones. Each stone has something on top. That something is covered by a white cloth.
The Cereal Man: Using the great power of the Serious Cereal Ostriches I can throwy Cerealnsiousness through time itself and learn everything about my opponent. Their Weaknesses, their strengths.
BEHOLD! THE WAY THAT CEREALS PERCEIVE THE WORLD!
The Cereal Man swallows an entire bottle of Jack Daniels and then grabs the white sheet covering the first stone.
On top of the stone is a wooden Keg, filled with Cereal.
The Cereal Man touches it and then brings the box of Cereal to his head.
The Cereal Man: I see it now... KEG! A long time ago you were apart of the KEG Tribe... I see. A tribe in the Forest of Amazon. They laughed, and played and ate Wooden Kegs every night. But one day... One Kegamite eats a forbidden KEG. See this Keg man was an explorer. He found a Keg temple filled with Kegs from years past. A Kegyptian home for fossils and artifacts of Kegs.
Yet the Keg Man was soon faced with a choice. The scriptures on the wall told the KEG exploration man he had two choices. Eat the Keg of Joy and gain eternal Happiness, or eat the Keg of Truth and gain knowledge of everything. He foolishly picked the Keg of Truth and soon realised that the Keg Tribe was an insignificant part of something much bigger.
He waged war on the Kegs, a war that'd destroy the Keg Tribe, forever. See he is like you KEG. He expresses complete faith in the Keg, yet he doesn't know that the Keg is a Cog in a bigger machine. Inside the KEG of Joy was a box of Cereal. Made by the Cereal cats themselves. What a tragedy. So close the the beauty of Cerealiciousness, yet so far.
The Cereal Man pulls off the white cloth for the second stone. It's a box of Rice Kripsies with the Krispies part of the logo scribbled out.
The Cereal Man: Action Wesley! Your Name Redaction has dated back to when you were a child. I can see when you first found out.
"Father, What is my Last Name?"
"I'm sorry, My son, I lost it 13 years ago!"
He cried with worry on his face. He tells you about how one day as he was looking at his wallet, on a summers night someone stole his last name.
I see it now, It's sadnevegant. But- But... if I look closely, it seems, like a man is there. A man with a stolen last name! A man with a... Box of Cereal... in his hand.
What a tragedy... it appears that one of my brothers is responsible for your Last-Namelessness. It must've been nessecary yet I aplogize.
And finally!
The Cereal Man grabs the cloth over the last stone, showing a box of Frost Kripsies.
The Cereal Man: FROST!
You were faced with the beauty of Cereal early on in life. Yet when you went to eat it you soon realised that the Cereal *sniff* was underneath the icy Tundra in which you lived. Impossible to reach and eat. A tragedy.
That is the end of my stories. LONG LIVE CEREALMANIA!
The Cereal Man takes one long sip of alcohol.
The Cereal Man:....Fruitritious... Where am I? Darn I'm drunk.
Fin
The Cereal Man: Greetings, Cerealites. My name is The Cereal Man. I am a simple man. I have only one desire, as I have stated before.
I seek to return Cereality to it's former glory, using the guidance of the 8 Cereal Owls.
Luckily the first of the Cereal Mannequins, named: Frederick, has decided to reward me for my victory over the Master of Mispelling and Knight of Not Hot. Tonight we finally get tp recueve a message from one of The Eight Spacial Cereal Buildings. And I have decided to share it with you.
The Cereal Man turns the camera to three stones. Each stone has something on top. That something is covered by a white cloth.
The Cereal Man: Using the great power of the Serious Cereal Ostriches I can throwy Cerealnsiousness through time itself and learn everything about my opponent. Their Weaknesses, their strengths.
BEHOLD! THE WAY THAT CEREALS PERCEIVE THE WORLD!
The Cereal Man swallows an entire bottle of Jack Daniels and then grabs the white sheet covering the first stone.
On top of the stone is a wooden Keg, filled with Cereal.
The Cereal Man touches it and then brings the box of Cereal to his head.
The Cereal Man: I see it now... KEG! A long time ago you were apart of the KEG Tribe... I see. A tribe in the Forest of Amazon. They laughed, and played and ate Wooden Kegs every night. But one day... One Kegamite eats a forbidden KEG. See this Keg man was an explorer. He found a Keg temple filled with Kegs from years past. A Kegyptian home for fossils and artifacts of Kegs.
Yet the Keg Man was soon faced with a choice. The scriptures on the wall told the KEG exploration man he had two choices. Eat the Keg of Joy and gain eternal Happiness, or eat the Keg of Truth and gain knowledge of everything. He foolishly picked the Keg of Truth and soon realised that the Keg Tribe was an insignificant part of something much bigger.
He waged war on the Kegs, a war that'd destroy the Keg Tribe, forever. See he is like you KEG. He expresses complete faith in the Keg, yet he doesn't know that the Keg is a Cog in a bigger machine. Inside the KEG of Joy was a box of Cereal. Made by the Cereal cats themselves. What a tragedy. So close the the beauty of Cerealiciousness, yet so far.
The Cereal Man pulls off the white cloth for the second stone. It's a box of Rice Kripsies with the Krispies part of the logo scribbled out.
The Cereal Man: Action Wesley! Your Name Redaction has dated back to when you were a child. I can see when you first found out.
"Father, What is my Last Name?"
"I'm sorry, My son, I lost it 13 years ago!"
He cried with worry on his face. He tells you about how one day as he was looking at his wallet, on a summers night someone stole his last name.
I see it now, It's sadnevegant. But- But... if I look closely, it seems, like a man is there. A man with a stolen last name! A man with a... Box of Cereal... in his hand.
What a tragedy... it appears that one of my brothers is responsible for your Last-Namelessness. It must've been nessecary yet I aplogize.
And finally!
The Cereal Man grabs the cloth over the last stone, showing a box of Frost Kripsies.
The Cereal Man: FROST!
You were faced with the beauty of Cereal early on in life. Yet when you went to eat it you soon realised that the Cereal *sniff* was underneath the icy Tundra in which you lived. Impossible to reach and eat. A tragedy.
That is the end of my stories. LONG LIVE CEREALMANIA!
The Cereal Man takes one long sip of alcohol.
The Cereal Man:....Fruitritious... Where am I? Darn I'm drunk.
Fin