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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Feb 24, 2019 21:53:02 GMT -5
Hey y’all! I tried hard this week and really would like to know what y’all thought. About the rp, about Estrella herself, everything. I wanna make her the best I can possibly get. Thanks in advance
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Mar 4, 2019 17:13:24 GMT -5
Can I please get feedback from last weeks RP? Thank you! 💕
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Mar 11, 2019 9:19:45 GMT -5
I took some advice this week and showed more into Estrella’s personal life. What did you all think about this weeks RP..? (:
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Mar 17, 2019 17:31:17 GMT -5
Oh my god. This week was a really tough one, I tried my best. Please let me know what you think ♥
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Post by Lissie Hope on Mar 21, 2019 22:23:15 GMT -5
First off, watch the grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes. There were a couple of unforced errors in your first scene.
First scene would have made better sense as a segment on the actual show (Clash). That would have given you more of a chance to expand on the celebration scene; in my opinion, the celebration would have been a more practical way to begin setting up the pay per view match. You could have really expanded on the celebration and shown more of her personality.
I really like your narrative in the beginning of scene two. There’s some really vivid descriptives and that is missing from the straight interview that began your piece. Even if I can’t really buy a middle-aged woman being such a huge fan of hers or wrestling in general, I really love Estrella’s personality. She’s got such a huge ego but doesn’t even realize that she’s being that arrogant because she’s so cute and charming. I think this gimmick has a ton of potential. Watch the little details; you don’t pay Uber with cash. I know it sounds trivial but those little details can take the reader out of it and you lose steam.
It took you a bit to get rolling in the promo, but I think you have a ton of potential. There were some really good shots taken at Claire Hawkins and Chase Jackson, and I wish you would have cut everyone as deep as you did them; yes, that includes your sister Kennedy, too! Don’t be afraid to really hit hard. I think you have the foundation set with her personality to really hit some of your opponents hard while maintaining her charm. Don’t hold back! You want to win, so make the reader believe it.
This was my first read of you and your character and I really like what I see. Just fix a few fundamental writing mistakes, be a little more creative in your scene-setting, and don’t shy away from being a bitch if you have to. There’s a ton of potential with this character.
Hope this helps!
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Mar 22, 2019 6:41:25 GMT -5
Thank you ✨
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on May 23, 2019 22:36:53 GMT -5
So I've tried really hard to use your advice but it was harder than I thought with the 1k cap. If you could give me some feedback, I will love you forever ♥
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Post by Wade Moor on May 24, 2019 8:47:43 GMT -5
I’ll say that there was a lot of improvement and some great character play. You’re developing Estrella into that vapid bitch with a mean streak well. No criticisms there, definitely keep up the good stuff as far as development goes.
The biggest issue here is you have 1000 words to work with. It’s tough but you want to spend the majority of it talking about your opponent, or the stakes in the match. A good 70/30 split shoot/character development I feel like is what you want to go for in these promos, but yours was the opposite. Nothing that can’t be improved with time.
Overall a pretty good promo! I enjoyed it!
But try to keep these shorter promos more match focused and save character development cycles for the longer 4K promos.
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Jun 9, 2019 21:53:23 GMT -5
I focused on shoot since I know it’s my weakness in writing. Please let me know how I did in my EVO promo. Thanks!
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 9, 2019 23:23:27 GMT -5
I will give you some feedback a little later. You’ve improved quite a bit.
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 10, 2019 2:40:32 GMT -5
You’re another one like Claire, Lissie, and Kennedy that knows and understands her female character. When you see a Estrella Luiz RP, you know it’s Estrella Luiz. You have that rare, Character pic base matching perfectly with your Character voice. The reader can imagine Estrella as Ariana Grande and your “Besties” as well.
I think you’re kind of a female version on T.F.K. You have that reality “YouTube sensation” down like he has his Hollywood gimmick down. The #Besties feud really help you overall, especially, this week.
Your only Achilles' heel is sorta like Claire’s. I see you’re most comfortable in the 1000 word cap at the moment. That’s a good thing. You’re finding that right mix for Scene Description, Character Development, Shoot, & Flow. Estrella’s designed most for the Television Championship at the moment and you would thrive there just as Claire has thrived.
Like I told Claire, I’ve always tried to stay even with my Scene Description, Character Development, Shoot to help the flow of my role-plays. So just remember, with the low word count, you have sacrifice your character somewhere within your role-play.
I know that you’ve been working the hardest on shoot, so you’re going to have to keep sacrificing Scene Description and Character Development. This role-play had a good mix of both in my opinion. Your shoot has improved nicely from your previous works. I’d say your Evo2 RP was your best to date.
If you want your shoot to have a vicious edge to it, just keep reading your Besties along with Claire and Casey as examples. I don’t mean to copy their style, Estrella has her own unique style. Shoot just takes repetition, the more shoot you write, the more second nature your shoot will become. You will find that good place of consistency right in the middle over time then look out for the amazing things that you will do as Estrella.
Just remember keep Estrella between:
60% Shoot to 40% Scene Description and Character Development 70% Shoot to 30% Scene Description and Character Development
or you might lose too much of her overall character with the lower word count.
Stay Confident. Don’t Be Too Overly Critical Of Your Work. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Be patient, because Estrella’s shoot voice is there and I’m very confident that you’ll find it in no time.
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Jul 14, 2019 18:44:41 GMT -5
I know it’s shortX but it’s my first promo in almost two months. Anyone wanna give me some feedback?
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