Post by Dandy DiVito on Feb 22, 2019 19:11:51 GMT -5
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM 419 - NIGHT
The scene opens in a darkened hospital room. The BEEPS and other various noises emanating from the many machines ring out quietly but inescapably in the tiny space. This is not a comfortable space, but it has been turned into a temporary home for the patient resting in the bed with his head wrapped in thick gauze. The patient is AMERICANA.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: February 16, 2018 - Two days before Clash
Suddenly, the FLUSH of a toilet breaks up the cacophony of beeps, and DANDY DIVITO emerges from the bathroom attached to Americana’s room. DD is wearing a hospital gown himself and sporting some recent wounds himself. DD swallows with a grimace as he moves toward the chair that sits beside Americana’s bed. As DD speaks, his voice comes out like a croaked whisper instead of a strong, confident voice. It’s clear the damage done by Kidsgrove has a lasting effect.
Americana rests motionless, offering zero reaction to DD’s sad sarcasm.
DD lays his hand on his wounded friend’s arm. The emotion in the room is palpable.
The voice booming out of the doorway surprises DD, and DD turns to see BEN AFFLECK standing there. DD looks at Affleck with a sideways, suspicious glance.
Affleck’s head drops, dejected. He pouts a little as he eaks out a retort.
Dandy rises from his chair and Americana’s monitors beep a bit faster.
A big grin grows on DD’s face as he croaks out an addition to the plan.
Americana’s monitors beep faster as his heart rate perks up.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM 234 - EVENING
The scene opens in Dandy DiVito’s hospital room as he is in a neck collar and obviously recovering from a surgery. He is silent, but the TV in his room is tuned to Clash.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: February 18, 2018
DD is watching Sam Kidsgrove’s segment on Clash and his excitement grows with every moment as soon as Trentham Lyndan-Porter appears on screen. A wicked grin crawls across DD’s face as TLP reaches the feverpitch of his announcement.
The sickening CRACK of chairs dismantling Kidsgrove scream through DD’s television as the door opens and his father walks in.
DD snarls at his father and makes an effort to speak but grimaces in pain as he fails to make sound.
DD swiftly grabs the notepad that rests on the table over his bed and scrawls across it.
DD grabs his notepad and starts to furiously scribble his response.
DD flips the notebook page and scribbles again.
DD writes quickly.
DD returns to his notebook.
Mr. DiVito’s eyes light up as a smile crosses his face.
DD grimaces and writes a response.
DD flips his notebook back a few pages.
CUT TO:
INT. #EFFINRAGER BACKSTAGE AREA - EVENING
The scene opens with New AW Backstage Interviewer Nate Burleson standing by waiting for Dandy DiVito. Burleson looks at his watch and makes incidental small talk with his crew as he waits.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: February 24, 2018 - #EFFINRAGER
DD stomps into the camera shot. His throat is still displaying a mixture of bruises from his initial injury and the following surgery. In his hands, DD has a laptop.
DD nods to affirm he is good to go and then opens up the laptop up, looks Burleson in the eye and nods to encourage him to start the interview.
Dandy mashes the keyboard swiftly while Burleson stands awkwardly. When DD finishes typing, he reaches out and grabs the mic to move it toward his computer speakers where a computerized voice reads out DD’s response.
Burleson pulls the mic back to his own face.
DD immediately starts typing. DD finishes, grabs Burleson’s hand and moves it to the speaker again.
DD rolls his eyes hard as he types a response.
DD types.
DD types.
DD types.
Affleck and Damon enter the shot dressed in referee’s stripes.
DD types. Burleson moves to pull the mic back to himself, but DD swats Burleson’s hand and puts the mic back at the computer.
DD types some more. Burleson knows better than to pull the mic away this time.
DD looks dead into the camera as the last bits of text read of the screen.
DD storms off with both referees following close behind.
FADE OUT.
END.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM 419 - NIGHT
The scene opens in a darkened hospital room. The BEEPS and other various noises emanating from the many machines ring out quietly but inescapably in the tiny space. This is not a comfortable space, but it has been turned into a temporary home for the patient resting in the bed with his head wrapped in thick gauze. The patient is AMERICANA.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: February 16, 2018 - Two days before Clash
Suddenly, the FLUSH of a toilet breaks up the cacophony of beeps, and DANDY DIVITO emerges from the bathroom attached to Americana’s room. DD is wearing a hospital gown himself and sporting some recent wounds himself. DD swallows with a grimace as he moves toward the chair that sits beside Americana’s bed. As DD speaks, his voice comes out like a croaked whisper instead of a strong, confident voice. It’s clear the damage done by Kidsgrove has a lasting effect.
DANDY
Man, Meri. I guess I’m a lo’ betta’ wit’ da bat dan I though’, huh?
DANDY
I’ma get da’ belt back fo’ you though, Meri. I ain’t gonna let
Kidsgrove keep ‘er no mo’ aft’a tha nex’ show. She commin’
home, jus’ like you would wan’. I ain’ fuckin’ ‘roun’ no mo’.
DANDY
M’ dad’s tryin’ ta fuck me outta wrastlin’, man. I wish you
was here ta talk me through this shit. I ain’t got no allies ta
shoot tha shit wit’ an’ talk game wit’. Ain’t nobody in
Dandy’s corna’ tha’ ain’t in a fuggin’ coma.
AFFLECK (o.s.)
I wouldn’t say that’s exactly true, Dandy.
AFFLECK
Woah, woah, woah, man. I come as a friend.
Matt and I need to talk to...
DANDY
But you an’ Damon are Kiddy’s boys.
AFFLECK
Well, about that…
DANDY
Man, wha’ tha fuck y’all doin’? You steppin’ out
on ya boy? Tha’s some cold shit, man. Shit, for all I
know this coul’ be some trick y’all playin’ to get me
ta fuck up an’ give Sammy Boy a clean W.
AFFLECK
No, no! That’s not it, man. No way.
DANDY
Oh, I know. I’m jus’ givin’ ya shit.
AFFLECK
Wait… how do you know?
DANDY
Man, Benny, you wanna know?
AFFLECK
Yes. How do you just know I’m here in earnest?
DANDY
Dude, ya ain’t that good of an actor so I figure ya
can’t be tha’ good of a lia’ neither.
Affleck’s head drops, dejected. He pouts a little as he eaks out a retort.
AFFLECK
(mumbling)
But… Argo… I won a fucking Oscar.
DANDY
Ya ain’t won shit fo’ yo’ actin’. Ya’ made sure George Clooney’s
Batman wit’ nipples ain’t gotta be tha hands down wors’
Batman a’ all time, I guess, but that’s the extent of it.
AFFLECK
Fine! Fuck! Ok? I get it! I’m awful!
DANDY
An’ don’ get me started on Jersey Girl or Jiggly.
AFFLECK
Gigli!
DANDY
Yeah. Fuggin’ Jiggly. How much fuggin’ PCP
a man gotta smoke ta think that piece a’ shit’s a
good idea?!
AFFLECK
Turns out that the answer is a lot.
DANDY
No shit? Ya smoke PCP?
AFFLECK
My three trips to rehab haven’t just been about booze.
DD shrugs and nods to indicate a perverse approval for Affleck’s vices.
DANDY
Why you here? You high righ’ now? Gotta be
ta think visitin’ me a’ all people here a’ all
places is a smart move.
AFFLECK
Matt and I… We, uh, we have a proposal.
DANDY
I don’ swing tha’ way, fellas, an’ wit’ the damage
Kiddy did ta my throa’, I don’ think I’d be up ta
nothin’ even if I did swing tha’ way.
AFFLECK
No, man. We’re not looking to spit roast you.
DANDY
Well don’ tha’ jus’ put my li’l ol’ heart at ease…
AFFLECK
Dude, we want to help you win at Rager.
DANDY
‘Scuse me?
AFFLECK
Matt Damon and I. We want to help you
win against Sam.
DANDY
I don’ need your help.
AFFLECK
(incredulous)
Are you really going to decline help when
less than a month ago, you couldn’t beat Sam
straight up?
DANDY
(angry)
Who the fuck you think you are comin’ in…
AFFLECK
Woah, woah. Calm down. Look, man...
We’re sick of living in his shadow.
DANDY
Sammy Boy’s got a big shadow, huh?
AFFLECK
When you’re standing in it and you haven’t
seen the sun for days, it’s huge.
DANDY
An’ Damon feels tha same way? I mean, he’s got
a hell of a lot more respectable career than you do, righ’?
AFFLECK
I mean, that’s debatable, but Matt and I
represent a united front. You can’t…
DANDY
You can’t save the world alone, righ’, Bats?
AFFLECK
...that fucking CGI mustache. Goddamn Justice League.
Affleck pauses a beat.
AFFLECK
But to the point, the Oscars hosting gig was the last straw.
Matt and I have been trying to host for years! YEARS! When
do we get the offer? When Sam’s involved. They didn’t want
us; they wanted him. So, our hand was forced.
DANDY
Ah, man.
AFFLECK
What?
DANDY
I totally believe you this time. Tha’s the reason. Sure. But…
AFFLECK
But what?
DANDY
But goddamn that’s a petty fuckin’ reason, but
who am I to second guess tha dude who played
Chesty Smith in School Ties?!
AFFLECK
You fuckin’ saw School Ties?!
DANDY
I see everythin’ Brendan Fraser does.
AFFLECK
Even his Mummy themed sex tape?
DANDY
Is tha’ fuckin’ real or did you jus’ make it up?
AFFLECK
I thought you could tell when I was full of shit?
DANDY
Dude, you can’t act fo’ shit, but you write
believable enough shit. So I jus’ don’ know.
AFFLECK
Let’s just say I wouldn’t Google anything about
Imhotep’s sandy O-face if I were you.
DD’s face turns sour at the thought. Aside from the beeps of Americana’s machines, silence overtakes the conversation until DD focuses again on the matter at hand.
DANDY
So what do you want from me?
AFFLECK
We want you to beat Sam.
DANDY
The motherfucker tried to kill me.
I want to beat him, too.
AFFLECK
Yeah, but we’re an insurance policy.
DANDY
How the hell do you figure?
AFFLECK
We’ve been rolling with him for years. Do you think
he’s going to see this coming? He won’t expect it at all.
DANDY
Advantage Dandy.
AFFLECK
Right. Advantage Dandy
DANDY
What’s the plan? You even got a plan?
AFFLECK
Here’s what we’re thinking: you blindside Sam
at Clash, we make the save and turn on Sam.
DANDY
No can do.
AFFLECK
(startled)
What?! Why not?!
DANDY
I’m stuck in this fuckin’ hospital at
leas’ three mo’ days, maybe mo’. I’ll
be cleared fo’ hashtag EffinRager, but ain’t
no way I’ll make Clash, man.
AFFLECK
Ok… so… we adapt.
DANDY
How?
AFFLECK
You’ve got a lawyer, right?
DANDY
Yeah. ‘f course.
AFFLECK
Have him confront Sam.
DANDY
Confront Sam?
AFFLECK
Like have him show up and threaten Sam with
a lawsuit for hurting you. Throw in some extra,
totally unnecessary stuff to distract Sam, and Matt
and I will take it from there.
DANDY
Let’s tell the mothafucka I’m suin’ ‘im for child support.
AFFLECK
That’s perfect! Something you have going for
you against Sam is that he thinks you’re an
idiot. Matt and I see through the facade.
DANDY
(sarcastic)
Oh, great. Thanks, Daredevil. So glad you
don’ t’ink I’m retarded or nothin’.
AFFLECK
No, Dandy. We just both see how you’re kind of a Will Hunting.
DANDY
What the fuck are you goin’ on ‘bout, Gigil?
AFFLECK
Will Hunting. You know? From Good Will Hunting? The
first movie that won me an Oscar? You’ve got to know
what I’m talking about!
DANDY
That the one wit’ the genie from Aladdin in real life
helpin’ the janitor wit’ math?
AFFLECK
Ugh. I, uh, guess it is. So Will Hunting.
He spends most of the story selling himself short,
keeping people at arm’s distance, picking fights, but,
most importantly, being utterly goddamn brilliant
when no one is looking. That’s you, Dandy.
You’re Will Hunting. Matt and I, we… we see the
brilliance behind this monicker. We see how special
Dandy DiVito is.
DANDY
Ya ain’t gotta suck my dick here, Ben. I’m in.
DANDY
The mothafucka knows you here. He still in there, Batfleck.
He still in there fightin’. Meri’s a fuggin’ fighta.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM 234 - EVENING
The scene opens in Dandy DiVito’s hospital room as he is in a neck collar and obviously recovering from a surgery. He is silent, but the TV in his room is tuned to Clash.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: February 18, 2018
DD is watching Sam Kidsgrove’s segment on Clash and his excitement grows with every moment as soon as Trentham Lyndan-Porter appears on screen. A wicked grin crawls across DD’s face as TLP reaches the feverpitch of his announcement.
LYNDAN-PORTER(o.s.)
Friends can be in short supply at any time.
MR. DIVITO
(disgusted)
Ugh. That shit again? I thought this
injury would be enough to get you
to quit this stupid sport.
MR. DIVITO
You had throat surgery, Winston! You can’t talk for a while yet!
DD swiftly grabs the notepad that rests on the table over his bed and scrawls across it.
DANDY (notebook)
Fuck you, old man!
MR. DIVITO
Last time we spoke, I told you you had a month before I cut
you off. Well, it’s almost been a month, and honestly, I’m not
waiting any longer. Are you going to continue with this foolishness
and lose your trust fund access or are you going to accept that you
are a DiVito, have some pride in that name, and do your mother
and I proud by leaving Action Wrestling?
DANDY (notebook)
Let’s make a deal.
MR. DIVITO
I’m listening…
DANDY (notebook)
When I win the United States Championship again this weekend,
you leave me the hell alone about wrestling.
MR. DIVITO
And if you don’t?
DANDY (notebook)
I’m not quitting.
MR. DIVITO
So what do I get out of this deal?
DANDY (notebook)
If I lose, I’ll make you my manager and
you will control my image/likeness.
Mr. DiVito’s eyes light up as a smile crosses his face.
MR. DIVITO
So if you lose this match, you’re willfully Winston DiVito again?
DANDY (notebook)
Yes.
MR. DIVITO
(excited)
Ok. I accept. You’ve still got your trust fund… for now.
DANDY (notebook)
Fuck you, old man!
MR. DIVITO
God I hope you lose, son. You could really use an image adjustment.
INT. #EFFINRAGER BACKSTAGE AREA - EVENING
The scene opens with New AW Backstage Interviewer Nate Burleson standing by waiting for Dandy DiVito. Burleson looks at his watch and makes incidental small talk with his crew as he waits.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: February 24, 2018 - #EFFINRAGER
BURLESON
Where is this guy? Is he always late like this?
CAMERA PERSON 1
Yeah, Nate. He’s pretty much always like this.
BURLESON
Thanks for showing up, DD. You ready?
BURLESON
Welcome, everyone, to the pre-show for the show
the #BeachKrew guys decided to call #EffinRager!
I’m here with former United States Champion, Dandy
DiVito! Dandy, you’ve been out for almost two weeks
due to injury at the hands of your opponent tonight,
Sam Kidsgrove. How does being across the ring from
him tonight make you feel?
DANDY (computer voice)
I’m silent right now, Black Shia. I can’t make no noise
or talk to nobody. How you think I feel about getting my
hands on that son of a bitch, Kidsgrove? I’m excited. I can
damn near feel his blood running through my fingers and
almost see it spilling onto the ground. Sammy’s in a world of
hurt tonight, Black Shia. It ain’t going to be pretty... For him.
Burleson pulls the mic back to his own face.
BURLESON
So I notice you don’t have a voice…
DANDY (computer voice)
Did you figure that out on your own or did you make the
discovery when I explicitly told you I’m silent right now?
BURLESON
Is your voicelessness a result of your injuries?
DANDY (computer voice)
You a regular Sherlock Holmes, Black Shia.
BURLESON
Why are you calling me Black Shia?
DANDY (computer voice)
Well, you’re the new Shia, and you’re black, so… Black Shia.
BURLESON
Isn’t that kind of essentializing?
DANDY (computer voice)
iSn’T THaT kInD Of eSsEnTiALiZiNg?! Look, BS, you gonna be gone
jus’ as quick as Shia when all’s said and done, so it don’t make much sense
for me to learn your name. Ain’t worth the time. Ain’t worth the effort.
BURLESON
Fine. Whatever... You’re on a losing streak of late.
You lost the US title to Kidsgrove on January 27, lost a tag
match against Kidsgrove on February 4, lost a match against
Ace on February 11, and you lost your voice. What makes you
think your losing ways won’t continue tonight?
DANDY (computer voice)
Kiddy ain’t had to face me yet with qualified referees. That
changes tonight.
DANDY (computer voice)
You see, we never had award winners calling matches… until now.
And this is a game changer. Fairness rules all tonight. Kiddy can’t
get one over on me and hit his sneaky shit to steal the win like
at Revolution a month ago. Kiddy can’t look to his friends for moral
support or a pat on the back or for one of them patented toothy Batfleck BJs.
Truth is this: Sam is going to be the first two-time United States
Champion that can’t muster up even one solitary title defense.
DANDY (computer voice)
This ain’t gonna be the kind of DD that comes out and talks about
Sammy’s diabetes. This ain’t the cutesy version of Dandy DiVito tonight.
This is a version of Dandy DiVito y’all maybe never seen. The version that
is just about hurting people, destroying people, ruining careers, and
Inflicting violence. You ain’t talking to happy-go-lucky Dandy DiVito tonight, and more important,
Sam Kidsgrove ain’t fighting happy-go-lucky Dandy DiVito tonight. Sam Kidsgrove is going to
have to step into that ring and face a trapped fucking animal
Sam Kidsgrove ain’t fighting happy-go-lucky Dandy DiVito tonight. Sam Kidsgrove is going to
have to step into that ring and face a trapped fucking animal
who would rather gnaw his own fucking leg off than die in that trap.
DANDY (computer voice)
You see, BS, I’m not here to make friends and I don’t give a
shit if I make enemies. I’m here to make an impression, and tonight,
that impression will be those of four knuckles in the thick
skull of Sam Kidsgrove. I’m aiming to maim and hurt this motherfucker,
and when I aim, I hit my fucking targets.
DD looks dead into the camera as the last bits of text read of the screen.
DANDY (computer voice)
Kid, I’m coming, and I promise you it won’t be pretty. There’s
just too much on the line here for me. Whether you knew it or not,
fucking with Dandy DiVito just became the last thing you’d ever
get to do here, so I hope you’re proud of the results. I am now and forever
will be Dandy Fucking DiVito, and you will always be that guy who knows
how to win the US title but shits his pants when he has to defend it.
Go ahead and wear your shitting-pants tonight. You’re gonna need them,
and there ain’t a one of us that’ll judge you for it.
BURLESON
That was certainly tough talk. Let’s see how the injured
Dandy DiVito can follow up tonight in his second ever
United States Title match!
FADE OUT.
END.