Post by Zombie McMorris on Jan 27, 2019 19:53:42 GMT -5
ADUB
Tag Team Championship
Cowboys from Hell
Vs.
Team Friendship
________________________
Chapter I: Woke Smart
The Action Wrestling Tag Team Championship. Title number three. Should be title number four but fuck Casey Holliday. To be honest, Ya bois liking this. Ol’ Z has always liked the Tag Team scene. Do half the work, get a belt; whats not to like. Living like a king over here while Fight Smart are living like scrubs and trust ya boi, he knows scrubs. Blaze and I went out and partied like the gutter trash kings that we are and Fight Smart when and got all woke smart and suck each others dicks.
Its ok Spencer Adams * gah gah gah *
It’ll be alright, Kyle Kemp * gah gah gah *
That's another thing, who the fuck is signing Kyle Kemp to contracts, the dude is trash and aint never amounted to anything a day in his life. Dude has a framed duplicate of his birth certificate with a gold star glued to it and tacked on his fridge. No serious, go to Kyle Kemps home, he keeps his framed birth certificate on his fridge. He just wakes up every morning, looks at and weeps like a grown man sobbing over a box of highschool trophies that he found in his attic crawl space.
Its sad, so sad. However, fuck Fight Smart, they aint who I’m going after this week. Hajeet bros, Team Friendship - the scolding truth of this matter is that you dont matter. Now, I know that aint going to stop you and that's what I like about you on the ever shortening list of things I like about anybody is that you say fuck it, we doing this.
But you done fucked up. You’re at the point of when ‘ we doin this’ goes wrong. When keepin it real, goes wrong. When dealing hands to hands with the Cowboys from Hell go wrong. You know you aint going to beat us. You know that we gonna walk out as champions. Team Friendship, the eight seconds of hell is coming for you and its going to be the longest eight seconds of your life.
________________________________
Chapter II: Mazel tov
* Join the Cowboys walking around Times square with a cooler full of Cowboys From Hell, home grown American Lager. Its a white and black can with the Cowboys from Hell logo on it [ note: we fired Mike in graphics, so image is not available but the beer is killah. ] They are walking around with the cooler and a mic as Cameraman Steve, cousin of cameraman Stu, follows them. *
ZMAC: Its ten AM on a thursday morning, PATS are in another superbowl, Tom Brady is your God, Eli Manning has Down Syndrome and plays football like an aborted fetus in the third trimester with no arms, legs or self awareness. Whos sad and wants to drink their problems away with McBlaze Lager. Any suicidal millennials who want to get drunk and walk onto the subway? Any MAGA hat wearing fuccbois want to walk down to Hells Kitchen with a sandwich board that says ‘ dead nigger storage’ cuz this shit gone get you fucked up and believe me, you’ll get fucked up or go fuck yourself.
* a 12 year old kid comes up to ZMAC. *
Young Kid: Hey, you’re the Cowboys from Hell, can I have a beer.
Blaze: What are you, 12?
Kid: Hell yah.
Blaze: 12 might be too young.
ZMAC: Whoa, Blaze. Its 2019. 12 is the new 40. That's why pedophilia is on the rise. These kids grow up fast. I bet this kid smokes rock at 11th grade reading level.
Blaze: I guess we can give him a beer.
ZMAC: Take two. You got a mortgage and child support to pay and the governments shut down.
Kid: Wow, thanks.
ZMAC: Mazel Tov.
* ZMAC turns back to cameraman steve. *
ZMAC: Somewhere, out there SJWs mind is being blown because He’s gonna be like:”OMG Pedophilia is the new hotness.” Fuckin gross. Remind me to ruin that guys career, again. However, ADUB, this is what we do. The Cowboys from Hell, change lives, we give hope. We give voice to the voiceless. This is our America. Everyone out there talkin bout how we don’t belong or fit in or look at us and them and see the difference between two chumps and a professional - you wrong.
Blaze: We out here on the streets, out with the people drumming hype and support for Revolution because we are the head of the revolution. We aint pretty and neither is the revolution. Me and my boi Ol’ Z are showin that seedy underbelly of the pro wrestlin’ scene. Pro wrestling is blood and guts. It don’t look like Ryan Lockhart. It aint political cock-wrektness like SJW. I mean, I get it, I used to be with you. I used to look at ZMAC and thought that he was a blot on this industry but get to know him, spend time with the tag team champ and you’ll see that he only speaks the truth. Me and him went torched Fight Smart, a group that thought that they were the top of the company. They arnt.
ZMAC: Real talk, if anyone wants these belts, they are welcome to try and take them. Wake this beast from the depths, I fucking dare you. Team Friendship is a fucking joke and they are going to lose to the fact that I support underage drinking. That's right, ZMAC fully supports a 12 year old, drinking a six pack, getting drunk, passing the fuck out. Live. Breath die. You only got 70 years and if Team Friendship trained and tried for all 70s years, they still wouldnt be good enough to take these from me, let alone the fact that I got Blaze in the corner to make that hawt tag then he comes in and rocks N rolls and makes all you bitches humble as he suplex you off the face of the earth. The Cowboys from Hell are legit because you all know that Ol’ Z is legit. Best TV and 201 champ ADUB will ever have. Best tag team champ we will ever have because no one on the roster has the hearth, the soul, the passion or the Kay-risma We are blocks away from the Garden and we days away from burying Team Friendship underneath the building and it is just a matter of time before I and Blaze get the recognition that we deserve. We are going to meet Team Friendship in the middle of that ring and we gonna fuck them up again for the second time. Cowboys from hell are here and we’re going to kill everybody.
Conquer. Dem. Bois.
Tag Team Championship
Cowboys from Hell
Vs.
Team Friendship
________________________
Chapter I: Woke Smart
The Action Wrestling Tag Team Championship. Title number three. Should be title number four but fuck Casey Holliday. To be honest, Ya bois liking this. Ol’ Z has always liked the Tag Team scene. Do half the work, get a belt; whats not to like. Living like a king over here while Fight Smart are living like scrubs and trust ya boi, he knows scrubs. Blaze and I went out and partied like the gutter trash kings that we are and Fight Smart when and got all woke smart and suck each others dicks.
Its ok Spencer Adams * gah gah gah *
It’ll be alright, Kyle Kemp * gah gah gah *
That's another thing, who the fuck is signing Kyle Kemp to contracts, the dude is trash and aint never amounted to anything a day in his life. Dude has a framed duplicate of his birth certificate with a gold star glued to it and tacked on his fridge. No serious, go to Kyle Kemps home, he keeps his framed birth certificate on his fridge. He just wakes up every morning, looks at and weeps like a grown man sobbing over a box of highschool trophies that he found in his attic crawl space.
Its sad, so sad. However, fuck Fight Smart, they aint who I’m going after this week. Hajeet bros, Team Friendship - the scolding truth of this matter is that you dont matter. Now, I know that aint going to stop you and that's what I like about you on the ever shortening list of things I like about anybody is that you say fuck it, we doing this.
But you done fucked up. You’re at the point of when ‘ we doin this’ goes wrong. When keepin it real, goes wrong. When dealing hands to hands with the Cowboys from Hell go wrong. You know you aint going to beat us. You know that we gonna walk out as champions. Team Friendship, the eight seconds of hell is coming for you and its going to be the longest eight seconds of your life.
________________________________
Chapter II: Mazel tov
* Join the Cowboys walking around Times square with a cooler full of Cowboys From Hell, home grown American Lager. Its a white and black can with the Cowboys from Hell logo on it [ note: we fired Mike in graphics, so image is not available but the beer is killah. ] They are walking around with the cooler and a mic as Cameraman Steve, cousin of cameraman Stu, follows them. *
ZMAC: Its ten AM on a thursday morning, PATS are in another superbowl, Tom Brady is your God, Eli Manning has Down Syndrome and plays football like an aborted fetus in the third trimester with no arms, legs or self awareness. Whos sad and wants to drink their problems away with McBlaze Lager. Any suicidal millennials who want to get drunk and walk onto the subway? Any MAGA hat wearing fuccbois want to walk down to Hells Kitchen with a sandwich board that says ‘ dead nigger storage’ cuz this shit gone get you fucked up and believe me, you’ll get fucked up or go fuck yourself.
* a 12 year old kid comes up to ZMAC. *
Young Kid: Hey, you’re the Cowboys from Hell, can I have a beer.
Blaze: What are you, 12?
Kid: Hell yah.
Blaze: 12 might be too young.
ZMAC: Whoa, Blaze. Its 2019. 12 is the new 40. That's why pedophilia is on the rise. These kids grow up fast. I bet this kid smokes rock at 11th grade reading level.
Blaze: I guess we can give him a beer.
ZMAC: Take two. You got a mortgage and child support to pay and the governments shut down.
Kid: Wow, thanks.
ZMAC: Mazel Tov.
* ZMAC turns back to cameraman steve. *
ZMAC: Somewhere, out there SJWs mind is being blown because He’s gonna be like:”OMG Pedophilia is the new hotness.” Fuckin gross. Remind me to ruin that guys career, again. However, ADUB, this is what we do. The Cowboys from Hell, change lives, we give hope. We give voice to the voiceless. This is our America. Everyone out there talkin bout how we don’t belong or fit in or look at us and them and see the difference between two chumps and a professional - you wrong.
Blaze: We out here on the streets, out with the people drumming hype and support for Revolution because we are the head of the revolution. We aint pretty and neither is the revolution. Me and my boi Ol’ Z are showin that seedy underbelly of the pro wrestlin’ scene. Pro wrestling is blood and guts. It don’t look like Ryan Lockhart. It aint political cock-wrektness like SJW. I mean, I get it, I used to be with you. I used to look at ZMAC and thought that he was a blot on this industry but get to know him, spend time with the tag team champ and you’ll see that he only speaks the truth. Me and him went torched Fight Smart, a group that thought that they were the top of the company. They arnt.
ZMAC: Real talk, if anyone wants these belts, they are welcome to try and take them. Wake this beast from the depths, I fucking dare you. Team Friendship is a fucking joke and they are going to lose to the fact that I support underage drinking. That's right, ZMAC fully supports a 12 year old, drinking a six pack, getting drunk, passing the fuck out. Live. Breath die. You only got 70 years and if Team Friendship trained and tried for all 70s years, they still wouldnt be good enough to take these from me, let alone the fact that I got Blaze in the corner to make that hawt tag then he comes in and rocks N rolls and makes all you bitches humble as he suplex you off the face of the earth. The Cowboys from Hell are legit because you all know that Ol’ Z is legit. Best TV and 201 champ ADUB will ever have. Best tag team champ we will ever have because no one on the roster has the hearth, the soul, the passion or the Kay-risma We are blocks away from the Garden and we days away from burying Team Friendship underneath the building and it is just a matter of time before I and Blaze get the recognition that we deserve. We are going to meet Team Friendship in the middle of that ring and we gonna fuck them up again for the second time. Cowboys from hell are here and we’re going to kill everybody.
Conquer. Dem. Bois.