Post by Ace F’N Static on Jan 20, 2019 19:00:40 GMT -5
Off Camera
The Diary of Ace Dillinger
March 13th, 2003
Age: 9
Ashbury Park, New Jersey
Dear Diary,
Dad finally explained to me why KoKo has different nipples then I do. Dad says its because girls make milk for their babies when they have them. So, I guess Koko is more like a cow then people? I was confused, so I asked Koko how many gallons she had, cause I guessed she had at least three or four. She laughed and told me that womens boobs are a way to get a guy to like them. So I told Koko that I liked her. She laughed and gave me some more fun money, that's what she calls it. She told me I could touch them a little and when I did, they were soft. But then dad told me I shouldn't do that with Koko.
Thats why I am at the club today. I was suspended from school. I touched Mary Tylers boobs, or where she should have them. And there was some yelling and I got in trouble. I don’t know why. The principle says that it was bad of me to do, but I see them do it at the club all the time and it isn’t bad. I think he was mad that he didn't get to do it.
The best
Ace Dillinger
On Camera
Cell Phone Video of Ace Dillinger
The MadeUp Arena
Avondale, New York
[Man, I dropped those three fuckers the way I drop the mic, fast and with a purpose. Sure, Tiger and Bishop were busy finger banging each other on the outside, but that’s the rules of the game. You gotta pay attention to play in Ace’s world. And now the Tour of Awesome rolls into Avondale, New York, where I get to be in a tourney for the TV title. Look at this face it screams “Made For TV”. So here I am with the cell phone, cause Shia might have mentioned harassment or something to the bosses. Whatevs.]
“What’s up bitchez! It’s your old pal Ace, the Architect of Awesome, kicking it to you live from the MadeUp Arena in Avondale. I know what your thinking. “Ace, why are you at the Madeup Arena?” Because it’s the next stop on the Tour of Awesome where your living god is going to start out in a tourney for the Television title. And who do I get right out the gate? Lisa Foster, the kind of woman that covers up under the blankets naked and still melts the sheets. Seriously, I would smack that ass all day just to watch it bounce with joy.”
[Amongst other things. Snoogins]
“But your boy Ace isn’t going to be playing hide the sausage with Lisa. No, afraid I have to show here the err of managements ways for placing her in a difficult position. And I’m not talking kama sutra here folks. I’m talking a flip and turn of Dead Air and Lisa is going to have to go back to the drawing board. It isn’t personal Lisa, it’s just business. If I had my way, our contest would be determined in a different fashion, with a much more interesting pinning combination. Something that would make us look like a human pretzel preferably. Instead, I am going to have to knock you the fuck out. If it makes you feel any better, I promise to kiss it and make it better.”
[Honestly, I’d kiss that woman anywhere she asked. I'd even use tongue in most those places. But not that Karlie Nash skank. She is just nasty.]
“Bottom line sugar tits, is that this match is going to end with you taking the pin and the Architect of Awesome moving on forward towards the Television title. That’s just the way this song goes. The Ballad of Lisa Foster. I’m thinking an epic hair band love song with a tragic twist and a wailing guitar riff that makes you weep with joy. Your loss can be the tragic twist Lisa and I’ll be that awesome riff. Cause lets face it, I am just fucking awesome. If I was any cooler, you could store beer in my pants pockets. I am exactly what the Television title needs. Someone so awesome, the title becomes awesome by proxy. An injection of Aceizm. Yeah, Aceizm. That's fucking sweet. I better write that shit down for my next song. See you Monday sweetheart, and I hope you have your insurance paid up and your ready to be star struck with love. Cause when I step in the ring baby cakes your gonna get ACED!
[Cause I am so going to ace this chick. If she was a quiz, the teacher would ask me to stay behind for an oral examine. I shut off this cell phone video camera. Much easier then lugging a crew around with me or some dead weight reporter chick with no sense of fun. Seriously, no sense of fun at all. A ride on Ace is like going to Space Mountain. (Insert copyrighted woooooooo! here)]
The Diary of Ace Dillinger
March 13th, 2003
Age: 9
Ashbury Park, New Jersey
Dear Diary,
Dad finally explained to me why KoKo has different nipples then I do. Dad says its because girls make milk for their babies when they have them. So, I guess Koko is more like a cow then people? I was confused, so I asked Koko how many gallons she had, cause I guessed she had at least three or four. She laughed and told me that womens boobs are a way to get a guy to like them. So I told Koko that I liked her. She laughed and gave me some more fun money, that's what she calls it. She told me I could touch them a little and when I did, they were soft. But then dad told me I shouldn't do that with Koko.
Thats why I am at the club today. I was suspended from school. I touched Mary Tylers boobs, or where she should have them. And there was some yelling and I got in trouble. I don’t know why. The principle says that it was bad of me to do, but I see them do it at the club all the time and it isn’t bad. I think he was mad that he didn't get to do it.
The best
Ace Dillinger
On Camera
Cell Phone Video of Ace Dillinger
The MadeUp Arena
Avondale, New York
[Man, I dropped those three fuckers the way I drop the mic, fast and with a purpose. Sure, Tiger and Bishop were busy finger banging each other on the outside, but that’s the rules of the game. You gotta pay attention to play in Ace’s world. And now the Tour of Awesome rolls into Avondale, New York, where I get to be in a tourney for the TV title. Look at this face it screams “Made For TV”. So here I am with the cell phone, cause Shia might have mentioned harassment or something to the bosses. Whatevs.]
“What’s up bitchez! It’s your old pal Ace, the Architect of Awesome, kicking it to you live from the MadeUp Arena in Avondale. I know what your thinking. “Ace, why are you at the Madeup Arena?” Because it’s the next stop on the Tour of Awesome where your living god is going to start out in a tourney for the Television title. And who do I get right out the gate? Lisa Foster, the kind of woman that covers up under the blankets naked and still melts the sheets. Seriously, I would smack that ass all day just to watch it bounce with joy.”
[Amongst other things. Snoogins]
“But your boy Ace isn’t going to be playing hide the sausage with Lisa. No, afraid I have to show here the err of managements ways for placing her in a difficult position. And I’m not talking kama sutra here folks. I’m talking a flip and turn of Dead Air and Lisa is going to have to go back to the drawing board. It isn’t personal Lisa, it’s just business. If I had my way, our contest would be determined in a different fashion, with a much more interesting pinning combination. Something that would make us look like a human pretzel preferably. Instead, I am going to have to knock you the fuck out. If it makes you feel any better, I promise to kiss it and make it better.”
[Honestly, I’d kiss that woman anywhere she asked. I'd even use tongue in most those places. But not that Karlie Nash skank. She is just nasty.]
“Bottom line sugar tits, is that this match is going to end with you taking the pin and the Architect of Awesome moving on forward towards the Television title. That’s just the way this song goes. The Ballad of Lisa Foster. I’m thinking an epic hair band love song with a tragic twist and a wailing guitar riff that makes you weep with joy. Your loss can be the tragic twist Lisa and I’ll be that awesome riff. Cause lets face it, I am just fucking awesome. If I was any cooler, you could store beer in my pants pockets. I am exactly what the Television title needs. Someone so awesome, the title becomes awesome by proxy. An injection of Aceizm. Yeah, Aceizm. That's fucking sweet. I better write that shit down for my next song. See you Monday sweetheart, and I hope you have your insurance paid up and your ready to be star struck with love. Cause when I step in the ring baby cakes your gonna get ACED!
[Cause I am so going to ace this chick. If she was a quiz, the teacher would ask me to stay behind for an oral examine. I shut off this cell phone video camera. Much easier then lugging a crew around with me or some dead weight reporter chick with no sense of fun. Seriously, no sense of fun at all. A ride on Ace is like going to Space Mountain. (Insert copyrighted woooooooo! here)]