Post by Psico on Feb 18, 2018 23:03:26 GMT -5
Action Wrestling... It doesn't feel like you love me like you used to. I showed up when this place was just getting started and threw my name into the hat. I spammed the shit out of this place all over the tweetergrams and instafaces. I even offered to allow you to make this face… Er… Mask… The mask of the Action Wrestling Federation! I was going to put this federation on my dick, ON MY DICK! And carry it to prosperity! With minimal effort might I add! Yet it seems to me like you’re doing everything in your power to keep that from happening. I mean c’mon man. WTF is up with this title match? When I looked at the card for this week do you want to know what I saw?
“Action” Wesley Jackson… Wait that’s not how that’s supposed to work. I said “ACTION” WESLEY *REDACTED*. Okay, there we go. Sorry bout that, my assigned FBI agent must have been asleep at the wheel. *Redacted*, Flippy, Cereal Man, and Anarchy I can semi understand. However, Wynter, Keg, and Zero? They don’t deserve to be cleaning the toilets much less involved in a title match after their performances last week. They all flopped harder than Isaiah Thomas in Cleveland.
What should be happening is a one on one match between Jay Frost and I. A match that didn’t happen because Action Wrestling is obviously a place that likes to keep the black man down. That’s right, I said it. Jay Frost and I came out on top last week so it’s only natural that we earned the right to face off one on one for the title. However, the white devils in charge of this place don’t want to see the black man succeed. Before you even think about questioning my blackness, I’ll have you know that I’m black from the waist down. I've also seen Black Panther like seven times.
As if trying to keep the black man down wasn’t bad enough, these motherfuckers know that I don’t like to work. Yet they keep throwing me in these 300 man march matches knowing damn well that they’re testing my minimal effort skills! What happened on the first edition of Clash though? That’s right, I expertly gave minimal effort and not only did I win the match. I got to slide my arm right between Danielle Wynter's boobs as I won the match. Now you tell me one person who could not only win a multiple person match like I did with minimal effort. But, also cop a feel at the same damn time!
NOBODY, THAT’S WHO! Just like nobody besides me would be able to pull that off two weeks in a row. However, I will. I’ll tell you all exactly how this match is going to play out. Inside the ring the action is going to be fast, frantic, and all over the place. Like when I masturbate. Then a whole lot of stuff nobody cares about is going to happen involving the other people in the match. Finally it’s going look like one of my opponents who couldn't lift my genitals with a crane is going to win. That’s when Mr. Minimal effort, the big dick playa, the lurid luchadore, and the man the ladies call SNICKERDOODLE! Is going to spring into action for some surprise butt sex. Well not actual surprise butt sex of course. It’s just that I’m going to come in so fast and so hard that all of my opponents are going to be pointing to dolls telling the police where they think I touched them. Like the children do at Jay Frost's church. In reality though only one of them will have been touched. Unlike the children at Jay Frost's church. That one person will be Ms. Danielle Wynter. A woman who’s going to have the pleasure of getting groped by me for the second time as I pin her to become the first ever 201 & Fun Champ Peon! That’s French for champion you uncultured swine.