Post by Casey Holliday on Nov 18, 2018 14:13:48 GMT -5
Before I get started... I acknowledge that how I am presenting this promo is totally not in my element. I'm used to the camera set up, you know? But... we're going to take this to the internet this time. So... let's get into it with a special message to Action Wrestling...
I don't understand why every wrestling company this idiotic piece of shit is apart of tries to make this guy a bigger deal than he actually is. I don't know much about WCF, but what I do know about it is that when you ask "Who are the legends?" you hear a collection of names, but you never hear his. When you ask about the "best of UCI", you hear about Andre Holmes, Bonnie Blue, Alex Richards, Shadowlove and Kevin Bishop... but you don't hear about him. Essentially, he's a novelty act... and a horrible excuse of one... and that's all he'll ever be no matter how many matches and belts he wins. Want proof? I got the proof. Let's talk about the last time he was UCI Champion...
Wait... he was UCI Champion??? Really??? How'd that go again???
Motherfucker held the belt for six weeks, only winning one match... against a guy whose name I can't even remember. He took some weeks off, hardly promoted himself as a champion and I doubt it's much of a coincidence that UCI died shortly after his reign ended. By the way, did you know that when he won the championship, he didn't even pin the champion Kevin Bishop? He pinned Kaz Mazy... and when he lost the title six weeks later, he took the pin.
Yeah...
AWESOME REIGN!
Something really worth flexing over, right?
This about sums up that six-week piece of shit...
If he wins this championship match, you can pretty much expect the same shit.
But... let's talk about his Action Wrestling record... you know... where he has the longest 201 and TV title reigns and he flexes SO much about that shit, right? But is THAT really worth flexing over? I'll let some stats and some cold hard FACTS tell the story...
Let's see who he beat during his time in the 201 division... IMPRESSIVE, AWE INSPIRING, INCREDIBLE, LEGENDARY, BREATHTAKING NAMES LIKE...
Alex Haden...
The Cereal Man...
Fjord...
Jay Frost...
Tatters the Tantalizing...
Ricky Flippy...
...
Who???
Okay, CLEARLY it's easy to set that record when you're facing "competition" like THAT
My thoughts exactly, Philosophical Raptor...
But, let's cut this guy some slack okay? It's called the "201 & Fun" division for a reason and to be honest, that division was perfect for him because apparently, that division was full of guys who don't give a shit. So... let's talk about his TV division record... and just like every single one of his garbage-ass promos... not much different...
During his time in the TV division... he continued his LEGENDARY ASCENSION to GOD STATUS with wins over...
Red Dragon... twice...
Rose... not once, not twice, THREE TIMES (at least)
Michael Rocco...
Ultimate Destroyer...
Soooooo impressive!!!! I mean, it's SO impressive it makes David Arquette jealous AF ya know what I'm sayin'?
And through all of that, he didn't even win the belt on his first try. He faced Lincoln Keuchly and lost...
I SUPPOSE it's easy to move up the ladder in Action Wrestling when your win-loss record is more inflated than Kim K's giant vagina of doom by feastin' on nothing but mostly weak competition, am I right? The guy couldn't even beat TFK to earn this title shot. He took the Karlie Nash backdoor because... DUH... who DOESN'T beat Karlie Nash? And yet, this entire company fawns over him and his "creative promos" when if you REALLY, REALLY watch them... it's all the same ol' flexin' shit: trash that doesn't make a god damn sense in the world, a sorry, pathetic attempt to push the envelope and the "fourth wall" boundary, flexin' about how he's done this and done that, and trying to outright bury the opponent with a combination of the above and SOMEHOW that works and that's only for two reasons... reason one... because his opponents lose their balls, get stage fright, allow themselves to essentially be mentally raped and taken out of their games, making it EASIER for him to win... (good going, dumbasses)... and reason two... this company and everywhere else he's been makes him a bigger deal than he has any right to be. Y'all want to know why I don't ever respond to the jackass whenever he posts on my Twitter feed? Because he isn't even WORTH responding to. He's the most malignant, cancerous, worthless, repetitive, overrated, glorified troll that has ever set foot in a wrestling ring. In fact, he's not even WORTH any response whatsoever to the point where I didn't even bother watching his promo against me because honestly... this about sums up every promo the scumbag has ever done...
You've seen one ZMAC promo... you've seen them all. But if you think this meme parade is about to end. I got some news for you... it's not over yet. No, I still got plenty more where that came from. Let's talk about the whole "honey badger don't give a shit" shtick, shall we? You know... the shtick that obviously he didn't create but decided to adopt for himself? Yeah, that one...
We can take this literally, or figuratively... let's take this literally. So, he CLAIMS he doesn't give a shit, right?
Someone explain to me how that makes sense?
Hey, the guy's got every single detail about every single match on his website... that's about as flexin' as it gets.
When you're spending time burying people and talking about everything you've done... especially when everything you've done is essentially 90 percent a by-product of facing weak competition, then you DO give a shit. Seriously... if he relly DIDN'T give a shit, he'd have somebody else cut the promos for him... oh wait... he did at one point didn't he? Whatever happened to that guy anyway? I mean, I know occasionally he'll have his skank partially promo here and there, but if you don't give a shit... why you flexin'? Why you buryin'? Why you promoin'? If ya don't give a shit, just take your coke and fuck off because the fact of the matter is, once you die from that coke addiction, you'll easily fade away from the memories of everyone that ever worked with you because the fact of the matter is... what do you get when you take away the "cult following", the memes, the "LOL FGT's", the "Honey Badger Don't give a Shit", the inflated win-loss record, the "coked up madman" nonsense? Just. Another. Guy. A guy that can wrestle well? Sure, I can buy that. But you take away all that, and you ain't shit! And the fact of the matter is, deep down, you're not because the shit that you do all comes from a place of inner insecurity, that's why. Psych 101... people that need a fix to do drugs... have the worst self-esteems imaginable. People that need to go around degrading everyone... they know that deep down, they ain't shit. Those that need to remind the world of everything they've done? They're not trying to convince other people, they are trying to convince themselves and hey, I guess he deserves SOME credit for being able to do all that on a weekly basis for so long, but the fact of the matter is... once professional wrestling has passed him by... what's he going to have left? Coke? Whores? A life of partying and coking it up until he dies?
Without this business, he is NOBODY!
Without facing easy competition, he's closer to a .500 wrestler... and he doesn't get handed opportunity after opportunity like he has for essentially his entire career...
Without those opportunities... he doesn't win those titles...
And without all of the above, he's nothing. Let's play the hypothetical game and say that he does win this title again. What's gonna happen?
I'll tell you one thing that won't... the title itself won't die. By default, he'd be instantly better than Anton Chase (because I doubt there will ever be a worst UCI champion in history than Anton Chase) and MAYBE Celeste Mallory (speaking of massively overrated...)
So no... the UCI Championship as a whole wouldn't die... but how would I fare? Would it devastate me?
No.
Would it derail my career?
No.
It would suck, but I've proven on more than one occasion that I'm capable of bouncing back. You all saw when I got revenge on that misogynistic ex-boyfriend of mine, right?
Basically... he wouldn't kill the championship... and he wouldn't kill me. One way or another, I'll be alright because I'm not the kind of wrestler that is defined by championships and a win-loss record inflated by fattening myself up on nobodies.
I'm playing with house money as far as my UCI title is concerned. This isn't going to make or break my career. I've overcome FAR worse than ZOMBIE MCMORRIS...
It's called Supreme Championship Wrestling... yeah... good luck trying to get anywhere with their version of the Kliq and their backstage politics.
I don't need to overcome Zombie McMorris to validate myself... if anything, he's the one that needs to beat me for that self-validation.
Because Honey Badger DOES give a shit...
If he didn't?
Why's he fighting this match?
Why's he in Action Wrestling?
Why's he even WRESTLING AT ALL?
It must be for some sort of fix... or to get some of that coke money... either way, he gives a shit about SOMETHING!
He needs this more than I need this... anything to have an excuse to flex and parade himself around like he's somebody... like someone that will be remembered in the same breath as Pantheon over in WCF, the Guardians in UCI and the main eventers here in Action Wrestling... but the truth is?
He's just a glorified fuckboy whose mother most likely regrets not aborting him at some point. And no matter what he does in this business, that's all he'll ever be. The outcome of this match in London isn't going to change that one way or another... and it's not going to change my career trajectory either. I've got nothing to lose but a match, and a title. I'm going to do what I've got to do for the honor of the belt and the legacy of UCI and defend this championship to the very best of my ability, that much I can guarantee for sure. I'm going to give it my all to make sure he doesn't win this title because at the end of the day, that's all I have control over. And you know what? I'm going to cut through that mystique and aura that somehow surrounds him, expose him for the glorified, jobberkilling fuckboy that he really is and deep down inside... I'm going to break whatever heart he has left and make him feel so WORTHLESS he's not only going to want to snort some of that coke when I make him feel like the biggest piece of garbage on the planet (because let's be real... that's precisely what he is)... he's going to want to snort it so damn much that he's going to want to KILL HIMSELF. I hate to say it, but maybe society would be better off as a wholwe if that's exactly what he did. Hmm... beat him tonight AND do the world a favor by driving him to kill himself?
Hey, it's like killing two birds with one stone... technically three if you include the absolute cock that he is...
So here you go ZMAC... the only award I'm willing to give you...
It's about the only award or championship you've ever deserved at that...
#NoFlexZone
I don't understand why every wrestling company this idiotic piece of shit is apart of tries to make this guy a bigger deal than he actually is. I don't know much about WCF, but what I do know about it is that when you ask "Who are the legends?" you hear a collection of names, but you never hear his. When you ask about the "best of UCI", you hear about Andre Holmes, Bonnie Blue, Alex Richards, Shadowlove and Kevin Bishop... but you don't hear about him. Essentially, he's a novelty act... and a horrible excuse of one... and that's all he'll ever be no matter how many matches and belts he wins. Want proof? I got the proof. Let's talk about the last time he was UCI Champion...
Wait... he was UCI Champion??? Really??? How'd that go again???
Motherfucker held the belt for six weeks, only winning one match... against a guy whose name I can't even remember. He took some weeks off, hardly promoted himself as a champion and I doubt it's much of a coincidence that UCI died shortly after his reign ended. By the way, did you know that when he won the championship, he didn't even pin the champion Kevin Bishop? He pinned Kaz Mazy... and when he lost the title six weeks later, he took the pin.
Yeah...
AWESOME REIGN!
Something really worth flexing over, right?
This about sums up that six-week piece of shit...
If he wins this championship match, you can pretty much expect the same shit.
But... let's talk about his Action Wrestling record... you know... where he has the longest 201 and TV title reigns and he flexes SO much about that shit, right? But is THAT really worth flexing over? I'll let some stats and some cold hard FACTS tell the story...
Let's see who he beat during his time in the 201 division... IMPRESSIVE, AWE INSPIRING, INCREDIBLE, LEGENDARY, BREATHTAKING NAMES LIKE...
Alex Haden...
The Cereal Man...
Fjord...
Jay Frost...
Tatters the Tantalizing...
Ricky Flippy...
...
Who???
Okay, CLEARLY it's easy to set that record when you're facing "competition" like THAT
My thoughts exactly, Philosophical Raptor...
But, let's cut this guy some slack okay? It's called the "201 & Fun" division for a reason and to be honest, that division was perfect for him because apparently, that division was full of guys who don't give a shit. So... let's talk about his TV division record... and just like every single one of his garbage-ass promos... not much different...
During his time in the TV division... he continued his LEGENDARY ASCENSION to GOD STATUS with wins over...
Red Dragon... twice...
Rose... not once, not twice, THREE TIMES (at least)
Michael Rocco...
Ultimate Destroyer...
Soooooo impressive!!!! I mean, it's SO impressive it makes David Arquette jealous AF ya know what I'm sayin'?
And through all of that, he didn't even win the belt on his first try. He faced Lincoln Keuchly and lost...
I SUPPOSE it's easy to move up the ladder in Action Wrestling when your win-loss record is more inflated than Kim K's giant vagina of doom by feastin' on nothing but mostly weak competition, am I right? The guy couldn't even beat TFK to earn this title shot. He took the Karlie Nash backdoor because... DUH... who DOESN'T beat Karlie Nash? And yet, this entire company fawns over him and his "creative promos" when if you REALLY, REALLY watch them... it's all the same ol' flexin' shit: trash that doesn't make a god damn sense in the world, a sorry, pathetic attempt to push the envelope and the "fourth wall" boundary, flexin' about how he's done this and done that, and trying to outright bury the opponent with a combination of the above and SOMEHOW that works and that's only for two reasons... reason one... because his opponents lose their balls, get stage fright, allow themselves to essentially be mentally raped and taken out of their games, making it EASIER for him to win... (good going, dumbasses)... and reason two... this company and everywhere else he's been makes him a bigger deal than he has any right to be. Y'all want to know why I don't ever respond to the jackass whenever he posts on my Twitter feed? Because he isn't even WORTH responding to. He's the most malignant, cancerous, worthless, repetitive, overrated, glorified troll that has ever set foot in a wrestling ring. In fact, he's not even WORTH any response whatsoever to the point where I didn't even bother watching his promo against me because honestly... this about sums up every promo the scumbag has ever done...
You've seen one ZMAC promo... you've seen them all. But if you think this meme parade is about to end. I got some news for you... it's not over yet. No, I still got plenty more where that came from. Let's talk about the whole "honey badger don't give a shit" shtick, shall we? You know... the shtick that obviously he didn't create but decided to adopt for himself? Yeah, that one...
We can take this literally, or figuratively... let's take this literally. So, he CLAIMS he doesn't give a shit, right?
Someone explain to me how that makes sense?
Hey, the guy's got every single detail about every single match on his website... that's about as flexin' as it gets.
When you're spending time burying people and talking about everything you've done... especially when everything you've done is essentially 90 percent a by-product of facing weak competition, then you DO give a shit. Seriously... if he relly DIDN'T give a shit, he'd have somebody else cut the promos for him... oh wait... he did at one point didn't he? Whatever happened to that guy anyway? I mean, I know occasionally he'll have his skank partially promo here and there, but if you don't give a shit... why you flexin'? Why you buryin'? Why you promoin'? If ya don't give a shit, just take your coke and fuck off because the fact of the matter is, once you die from that coke addiction, you'll easily fade away from the memories of everyone that ever worked with you because the fact of the matter is... what do you get when you take away the "cult following", the memes, the "LOL FGT's", the "Honey Badger Don't give a Shit", the inflated win-loss record, the "coked up madman" nonsense? Just. Another. Guy. A guy that can wrestle well? Sure, I can buy that. But you take away all that, and you ain't shit! And the fact of the matter is, deep down, you're not because the shit that you do all comes from a place of inner insecurity, that's why. Psych 101... people that need a fix to do drugs... have the worst self-esteems imaginable. People that need to go around degrading everyone... they know that deep down, they ain't shit. Those that need to remind the world of everything they've done? They're not trying to convince other people, they are trying to convince themselves and hey, I guess he deserves SOME credit for being able to do all that on a weekly basis for so long, but the fact of the matter is... once professional wrestling has passed him by... what's he going to have left? Coke? Whores? A life of partying and coking it up until he dies?
Without this business, he is NOBODY!
Without facing easy competition, he's closer to a .500 wrestler... and he doesn't get handed opportunity after opportunity like he has for essentially his entire career...
Without those opportunities... he doesn't win those titles...
And without all of the above, he's nothing. Let's play the hypothetical game and say that he does win this title again. What's gonna happen?
I'll tell you one thing that won't... the title itself won't die. By default, he'd be instantly better than Anton Chase (because I doubt there will ever be a worst UCI champion in history than Anton Chase) and MAYBE Celeste Mallory (speaking of massively overrated...)
So no... the UCI Championship as a whole wouldn't die... but how would I fare? Would it devastate me?
No.
Would it derail my career?
No.
It would suck, but I've proven on more than one occasion that I'm capable of bouncing back. You all saw when I got revenge on that misogynistic ex-boyfriend of mine, right?
Basically... he wouldn't kill the championship... and he wouldn't kill me. One way or another, I'll be alright because I'm not the kind of wrestler that is defined by championships and a win-loss record inflated by fattening myself up on nobodies.
I'm playing with house money as far as my UCI title is concerned. This isn't going to make or break my career. I've overcome FAR worse than ZOMBIE MCMORRIS...
It's called Supreme Championship Wrestling... yeah... good luck trying to get anywhere with their version of the Kliq and their backstage politics.
I don't need to overcome Zombie McMorris to validate myself... if anything, he's the one that needs to beat me for that self-validation.
Because Honey Badger DOES give a shit...
If he didn't?
Why's he fighting this match?
Why's he in Action Wrestling?
Why's he even WRESTLING AT ALL?
It must be for some sort of fix... or to get some of that coke money... either way, he gives a shit about SOMETHING!
He needs this more than I need this... anything to have an excuse to flex and parade himself around like he's somebody... like someone that will be remembered in the same breath as Pantheon over in WCF, the Guardians in UCI and the main eventers here in Action Wrestling... but the truth is?
He's just a glorified fuckboy whose mother most likely regrets not aborting him at some point. And no matter what he does in this business, that's all he'll ever be. The outcome of this match in London isn't going to change that one way or another... and it's not going to change my career trajectory either. I've got nothing to lose but a match, and a title. I'm going to do what I've got to do for the honor of the belt and the legacy of UCI and defend this championship to the very best of my ability, that much I can guarantee for sure. I'm going to give it my all to make sure he doesn't win this title because at the end of the day, that's all I have control over. And you know what? I'm going to cut through that mystique and aura that somehow surrounds him, expose him for the glorified, jobberkilling fuckboy that he really is and deep down inside... I'm going to break whatever heart he has left and make him feel so WORTHLESS he's not only going to want to snort some of that coke when I make him feel like the biggest piece of garbage on the planet (because let's be real... that's precisely what he is)... he's going to want to snort it so damn much that he's going to want to KILL HIMSELF. I hate to say it, but maybe society would be better off as a wholwe if that's exactly what he did. Hmm... beat him tonight AND do the world a favor by driving him to kill himself?
Hey, it's like killing two birds with one stone... technically three if you include the absolute cock that he is...
So here you go ZMAC... the only award I'm willing to give you...
It's about the only award or championship you've ever deserved at that...
#NoFlexZone