Post by Guillotine (QDT) on Oct 28, 2018 21:42:19 GMT -5
We still have the old tent somewhere in our loft. It's a pitiful rag now but to my younger self it symbolised a vast sanctuary. It was the fortress I shared with Papa on our yearly camping trips. No matter what crazy adventures he'd take me on in the daytime - hunting, cliff diving, rock climbing to name but a few - the tent was always there for us to lay our heads, take a breath and disappear into the magic of the outdoor night. He and I versus the world. That all changed one camping trip shortly after my 7th birthday. My fearless fortress shrunk to a claustrophobic coffin with a hostile takeover from a malevolent, ugly foe.
I'm sorry... I'm being rude. I should introduce myself. Hi, my name's Quixote. No, not "quicks-oat" or the myriad of other variations I've been called throughout my life. It's "Kee-ho-tay" as in Don; the eponymous figure of the books by Miguel de Cervantes, from whom my Papa found inspiration for my name. It's not a name common to where I grew up, the seaside town of Bognor Regis in the UK. Neither is my last name Della Torre, which comes from Italy, the home of my father Giacomo (pronounced "Jack-omo", for the record). Bognor is famous for it's yearly Birdman contest. It's pretty much a mix of wackily dressed eccentrics and aviation professionals who fly hang-gliders and stranger contraptions off a pier to see who can traverse the furthest. This bizarre competition is the reason I'm here. In the mid 80s, Papa was a pilot back in Italy and made the trip to England on the invite of a colleague. He came in second place behind a Birdman veteran but didn't go home a loser. In fact, he didn't go home at all. It was there he met my mother, Penny, who was also competing with her sponsorship money going to charity. Papa says it was the curves in her parrot costume that first attracted him to her... but that's WAY more than I wanted to hear about.
Anyway, I digress. Back to the tent.
It was the wee small hours of the morning with blades of summer sunlight illuminating the fabric of the tent. Papa was sleeping. An errant snore woke me up. Through bleary eyes, a horrific sight greeted me at the other side of the tent. It was a bristly beast, sprawled out legs like daggers piercing my heart. Multiple alien eyes scanning me for weakness and finding it in abundance. A skilled weaver of a cruel web, hanging ominously on a tight thread; ready to plunge, tie me into paralysis and sink its ferocious fangs into every trembling inch of my helpless body. Obviously it would take its time devouring me; restraining its venom so my petrified agony could be prolonged to its delight.
Or so 7 year old me thought. In actuality, it was a tiny but fuzzy spider no bigger than a jellybean. Yet that didn't stop me from shaking my poor Papa to consciousness.
Young Quixote: PAPA! Save us!
To my astonishment, Papa woke up chuckling. Maybe he'd planted my enemy there all along.
Young Quixote: G.. get it... out! Kill it! Do s... something!
He rose slowly to a sitting position and his look of amusement fell to something more like disappointment.
Papa Giacomo: Qui, it's a tiny ragno. A spider. Why the fear?
I looked at it again, fully awake this time. Maybe it was an optical illusion filtered through anxious eyes but the spider looked far from tiny. How was Papa so calm? He noticed my left arm shaking and placed his firm grip around it like he often did when teaching me one of his many important life lessons.
Papa Giacomo: My boy, I love you but you're being a fool. Look at how big you are. Now look at how small the little guy over there is.
Young Quixote: My friend Luke said that the smallest spiders can be the most poisonous. What if it's a Black Widow?
Papa Giacomo: If it were a Black Widow, which it isn't, so what? If it were a giant bear, we might have more of a problem but we still should never be afraid. Fear achieves absolutely nothing. Did fear help you climb that mountain yesterday? Did fear help you ask Suzie out last week? Did fear get you an A on your exam?
I didn't hear the question as my attention was solely on the spider. Papa lay back down and turned his head away from me. As he tried to go back to sleep, I became increasingly agitated.
Young Quixote: Papa! I can't help it. Please just get it out and you can teach me about fear another time.
He didn't move. At that moment, I did something I had never dared do. I punched Papa on the arm in defiance against a lifetime of healthy respect that I'd had for him. Although I instantly regretted it, Papa didn't react.
Young Quixote: Please Papa!
It was years since I'd shed a tear but by now I was crying bitterly in terror. At that moment, I felt small and worthless. Papa got back up into a calm sitting position and moved close to the spider as if befriending it. His finger cut the thread it was hanging from and he dangled it in front of me as I recoiled agonisingly into the back wall of the tent.
Papa Giacomo: Quixote, if you want it to go, you need to listen to me carefully and follow what I say, OK?
This calmed me. My father sometimes speaks with an authority that it's impossible not to trust. At least he was taking my grave danger seriously now, I thought.
Papa Giacomo: Stay still. Breathe in. Good. Now breathe out. Perfect. Next, I want you to get a bit nearer... trust me.
I obliged but my "nearer" was back to my original position away from the tent wall back into my sleeping bag. That was my only acceptable compromise.
Papa Giacomo: Nearer.
After some painful moments, I edged nervously towards my tormentor.
Papa Giacomo: Nearer again.
I shook my head but Papa held my wrist like before and the approval of my father suddenly superseded my anxiety. I shuffled closer. It felt like my sternum was about to be ruptured by my beating heart.
Papa Giacomo: Bravo, bellissimo. You're doing good. Now hold out your hand.
Buoyed by the praise from the person whose praise has always meant the most to me, I instinctively put out my hand as though gleefully awaiting a reward of candy. By the time I realised the nature of his request, it was too late. He had dropped the spider on my hand. I shrieked and quivered. Suddenly, the spider sunk its chelicerae into the fleshy mound of my palm. I shook it off and jumped backwards in more shock than pain. The bite mark on my hand was red raw. The spider retreated swiftly to the other side of the tent and cowered in even worse fear than I had felt. This image stays with me even today. My fearsome foe was actually more petrified than I was. It filled me with sympathy but didn't remove all my terror.
Young Quixote: Papa it bit me! Get it out! Please... I did what you said.
Papa Giacomo: Do you understand what happened there? Fear multiplies like a virus. You were afraid. The spider was afraid. You infected each other. Watch this.
Papa confidently reached out to the spider, his hand cornering it against the fabric. He slowly, without even a hint of trepidation, scooped up the creature into his palm. The spider visibly relaxed.
Papa Giacomo: See that? I just infected the spider with my courage. Look how peaceful it is now. We're all connected, Qui, this spider and you, this spider and I. We're different but there's a tune of life that's playing throughout all the natural world. This little guy knows that I don't want to hurt him. I don't fear him or hate him. He senses that.
Young Quixote: What do you want me to do? Pretend I'm not afraid?
Papa Giacomo: No. You ARE afraid but that's where you're at now. You might still be afraid the second time you touch this spider. You might be afraid the 15th time. But I'm not letting you open this zip until you're no longer afraid of this little guy.
I was aggrieved.
Young Quixote: But what if it bites me loads?
Papa Giacomo: Then you'll have more of those beautiful fang marks. But you'll be fine. You'll be a bit stronger each time. I'm not letting you get it out of this tent until your fear is gone.
Young Quixote: My fear's gone. Now open the zip and put it out!
Papa Giacomo: I'll know when your fear truly has gone.
And he did. I'd like to say it was a quick process but, truth be told, it took over 2 hours. The spider ran and hid most of that time but I ended up with a couple more bites for my trouble. Yet Papa was right. I was OK. It actually became quite fun after a while as the adrenaline of terror turned more to that of exhilaration. By the end, part of me felt quite sad at letting my new 8 legged friend leave to roam free.
This brings me to the present day. I'm sat here with Papa in a nondescript studio filming my very first promo for Action Wrestling. He has a large grocery bag and is concealing the contents every time I try to sneak a peak. He says it's a present to celebrate me signing my first contract.
Papa Giacomo: Bet you hated me that morning?
Quixote: Of course I didn't hate you. I definitely wanted to be at home with Mum and her book club friends though.
Papa Giacomo: Especially Margaret with the short skirt hey? Do you remember her? Mamma mia bella donna!
Quixote: I met her in a pub last year. Those legs haven't aged much, I tell you that. Especially when she wrapped them around me...
Papa Giacomo (interrupting): Gentlemen don't kiss and tell, Qui!
Quixote: The kissing wasn't the most memorable part.
Papa Giacomo: HEY! Back to our camping trip, I know it was a bit intense but it was an important lesson that will pay dividends in your wrestling career. Speaking of which, I want to give you your present now. Close your eyes and put out your hand.
Hmm, this is weird. What could it be? I hear Papa rustling around in the grocery bag. I'm guessing some knee pads or new boots. Perhaps Action Wrestling have already designed me some merch. Oh dear, what's this? It feels tingly. Sharp yet soft. Shit, it's moving. Eyes open!
Quixote: What the fuck is this?!
Papa Giacomo: Language Qui! Don't be vulgar like your peers in the 201 & Fun division. You have class, remember.
Can he blame me? He's given me a giant spider. It's standing upright on 8 firm legs which are pressing into my skin like needles. Its fangs are braced and ready to strike. The abdomen of this thing looks like an American football. It's a sandy colour with jet black eyes and it's threateningly erratic in its movement.
Quixote: Another lesson in fear?
Papa Giacomo: Not a lesson, a milestone. This is a Huntsman Spider. They're notoriously aggressive, defensive and their bites can be extremely dangerous.
Quixote (sarcastic): Yey! What a tremendous gift Papa.
Papa Giacomo: You don't like it because you've been programmed to see this as the name implies. A huntsman. A disgusting spider. And yes, the fact is that you need to have caution with this spider as it can be dangerous. CAUTION. That's exactly what you're exhibiting right now.
Quixote: You've lost me?
He is holding my wrist now.
Papa Giacomo: You're not enjoying this experience. Nor should you. But your breathing is normal, perspiration no more than usual, pulse is regular. You aren't physiologically showing any signs of fear.
Quixote: But it's a lame ass experience.
Papa Giacomo: Maybe. So is receiving a Missile Dropkick from Teddy Geisel, a Spinning Back Elbow from Jaice Wilds, an Octopus Stretch by Vasillis Knight or watching a Roderick Cage promo. This won't be all a bed of roses here in AW.
The Hunstman continues to crawl. I'm starting to warm to him.
Papa Giacomo: The point is that you have stared fear in the face and it's backed down from you. Life hasn't been always a dream and you've known more than your fair share of heartache and pain. That you cannot, nor should you be numbed from. But Quixote Della Torre isn't a fearful man. Ever since you were a boy, you've confronted evil and injustice while others around you hid away. You walk tall because your conscience is clean. Your whole childhood you've stood up to bullies. Their eyes have met yours like the primitive animals they are; determined to take their territory. But ultimately they don't live with integrity and that is where they always fall. No matter how much they've violated their consciences, they know deep down that they are weak. It takes more valour to live by the strong principles we've raised you on than the selfish ambition that is the air these bullies breathe. Look at this Huntsman.
I'm looking. Not sure where this analogy is going. Or where the spider is going. Seems content on my hand for now but I'm keeping it well away from the rest of me.
Papa Giacomo: They pursue prey smaller than them. The rest of the time, they mostly cover up under rocks and blend in with foliage. Despite their name and appearance, they are defensive creatures.
Quixote: So how does this relate to me in Action Wrestling?
Papa Giacomo: Simple. There are many Huntsman here in AW. They might look terrifying and they may indeed eviscerate their prey. Soon, my son, soon comes a time when the hunters become the hunted. They cannot withstand the strength you have inside you. This is strength you don't even know you have and that's why we're starting you out in the 201 & Fun division.
Quixote: I'm paying my dues.
Papa Giacomo: Baggianate or as you English say, bullshit! You are not here to pay dues or work your way up a mythical ladder. The glass ceiling shattered the moment you signed your contract. Young boys, and by extension young girls, need you to be the true Quixote Della Torre. "The Guillotine" that will cut through all the deception, all the evil, all the weakness in this company! The gentleman is such a dying breed, he's almost extinct... but you, Qui, have a duty to be the beacon of gallantry. You can be the one wrestler here whose head deserves to be kept high. If you stay that course, you will prevail every time. Do not withhold your integrity and don't dim who you are for the benefit of the cowards on this roster.
Hmm, I'm listening.
Quixote: Why then don't I just go into the heavyweight division and go straight for the jugular? Target SJW right from the get go?
Papa Giacomo: You could. You could. I know how good you are and can't even imagine how good you'll be. Though remember all those years ago when I put that little spider in our tent?
Quixote: Of course I remember. We just spoke about that. Oh HOLD UP, I knew you put that spider in there!
Papa Giacomo: Yes, well I originally considered putting a Huntsman like this in there.
You asshole!
Quixote: That would have been sadistic.
Papa Giacomo: Not really; just a bit more impractical as the bites would have set you back a bit more than what the little spider gave you.
Quixote: Is that why you didn't use the Huntsman?
Papa Giacomo: No, it's because I believe in the journey. Over the years, you have overcome little hurdles that got progressively higher. You became stronger with each one. You see, your biggest problem is your talent.
Quixote: My talent?
Papa Giacomo: It is. You've always been able to skip ahead of others. You jumped up classes in school. You dated models before your 18th birthday. You started your own entrepreneurial endeavours while most kids were hypnotised in front of their PlayStation all their free time. You never had guitar lessons; you just picked it up and played. There is something good and proper about going through the stages, you know. Walking the journey. Forming character.
Quixote: But it doesn't seem too expedient.
Papa Giacomo: Not everyone has your talent and you can't transmit that but you can transmit your heart. Young men round the world can see your perseverance. They can be inspired by how you conduct yourself step by step. You need to take them on this journey with them. If you leap right to the top, you'll lose those you most need to take along with you. The 201 & Fun division might represent the small spider you encountered when you were 7 years old rather than this Huntsman but it is a crucial quest for you.
Quixote: OK, I get it. You're saying I don't target Sidney J. Warwick yet but focus on Jaice Wilds?
Papa Giacomo: Not even him. He's the 201 & Fun Champion. There's a step prior to that you need to take.
Quixote: Who? What?
Papa Giacomo: Your little spider is waiting for you at Monday Night Clash. Let's watch the 201 Elimination Tag Team Match carefully. There's someone who I believe has been knitting a web of lies. It might be entrapping some people but ultimately, it's not structurally sound and it will break. I believe you are the one to tear down their entanglements. You can expose them to all the AW fans by confronting them like you have every creepy crawly and nemesis that has ever crossed your path. Not only will you show these fans that it's imperative to stand up to darkness, I believe you will also subdue that wrestler and change their mindset forever. You will know this wrestler when you see him at Clash Survivor.
Quixote: I will pay close attention. By the way, are you going to take this spider back now?
Please take it back Papa.
Papa Giacomo: Why would I take it back? It's rude to give gifts back, you know!
Quixote: Alright, let's head on. We've got a flight to Bismarck to catch!
Papa has turned around and is heading for the door. Now's my chance. Shall I do this? After all, he IS my father. Screw it, it'll be fun!
Papa Giacomo: ARRRRRGHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF!
Haha, the Huntsman looks great on Papa's head! Thankfully it hasn't taken a bite.
Quixote: I thought you taught me not to fear?
Papa Giacomo: I'm not afraid. I'm just... err... never mind. Che palle!
No way. He's actually keeping on walking with a freaking Huntsman on his head. We're walking through the Action Wrestling office now. What must these production staff members be thinking?! I think we need to turn the camera off now.
I'm sorry... I'm being rude. I should introduce myself. Hi, my name's Quixote. No, not "quicks-oat" or the myriad of other variations I've been called throughout my life. It's "Kee-ho-tay" as in Don; the eponymous figure of the books by Miguel de Cervantes, from whom my Papa found inspiration for my name. It's not a name common to where I grew up, the seaside town of Bognor Regis in the UK. Neither is my last name Della Torre, which comes from Italy, the home of my father Giacomo (pronounced "Jack-omo", for the record). Bognor is famous for it's yearly Birdman contest. It's pretty much a mix of wackily dressed eccentrics and aviation professionals who fly hang-gliders and stranger contraptions off a pier to see who can traverse the furthest. This bizarre competition is the reason I'm here. In the mid 80s, Papa was a pilot back in Italy and made the trip to England on the invite of a colleague. He came in second place behind a Birdman veteran but didn't go home a loser. In fact, he didn't go home at all. It was there he met my mother, Penny, who was also competing with her sponsorship money going to charity. Papa says it was the curves in her parrot costume that first attracted him to her... but that's WAY more than I wanted to hear about.
Anyway, I digress. Back to the tent.
It was the wee small hours of the morning with blades of summer sunlight illuminating the fabric of the tent. Papa was sleeping. An errant snore woke me up. Through bleary eyes, a horrific sight greeted me at the other side of the tent. It was a bristly beast, sprawled out legs like daggers piercing my heart. Multiple alien eyes scanning me for weakness and finding it in abundance. A skilled weaver of a cruel web, hanging ominously on a tight thread; ready to plunge, tie me into paralysis and sink its ferocious fangs into every trembling inch of my helpless body. Obviously it would take its time devouring me; restraining its venom so my petrified agony could be prolonged to its delight.
Or so 7 year old me thought. In actuality, it was a tiny but fuzzy spider no bigger than a jellybean. Yet that didn't stop me from shaking my poor Papa to consciousness.
Young Quixote: PAPA! Save us!
To my astonishment, Papa woke up chuckling. Maybe he'd planted my enemy there all along.
Young Quixote: G.. get it... out! Kill it! Do s... something!
He rose slowly to a sitting position and his look of amusement fell to something more like disappointment.
Papa Giacomo: Qui, it's a tiny ragno. A spider. Why the fear?
I looked at it again, fully awake this time. Maybe it was an optical illusion filtered through anxious eyes but the spider looked far from tiny. How was Papa so calm? He noticed my left arm shaking and placed his firm grip around it like he often did when teaching me one of his many important life lessons.
Papa Giacomo: My boy, I love you but you're being a fool. Look at how big you are. Now look at how small the little guy over there is.
Young Quixote: My friend Luke said that the smallest spiders can be the most poisonous. What if it's a Black Widow?
Papa Giacomo: If it were a Black Widow, which it isn't, so what? If it were a giant bear, we might have more of a problem but we still should never be afraid. Fear achieves absolutely nothing. Did fear help you climb that mountain yesterday? Did fear help you ask Suzie out last week? Did fear get you an A on your exam?
I didn't hear the question as my attention was solely on the spider. Papa lay back down and turned his head away from me. As he tried to go back to sleep, I became increasingly agitated.
Young Quixote: Papa! I can't help it. Please just get it out and you can teach me about fear another time.
He didn't move. At that moment, I did something I had never dared do. I punched Papa on the arm in defiance against a lifetime of healthy respect that I'd had for him. Although I instantly regretted it, Papa didn't react.
Young Quixote: Please Papa!
It was years since I'd shed a tear but by now I was crying bitterly in terror. At that moment, I felt small and worthless. Papa got back up into a calm sitting position and moved close to the spider as if befriending it. His finger cut the thread it was hanging from and he dangled it in front of me as I recoiled agonisingly into the back wall of the tent.
Papa Giacomo: Quixote, if you want it to go, you need to listen to me carefully and follow what I say, OK?
This calmed me. My father sometimes speaks with an authority that it's impossible not to trust. At least he was taking my grave danger seriously now, I thought.
Papa Giacomo: Stay still. Breathe in. Good. Now breathe out. Perfect. Next, I want you to get a bit nearer... trust me.
I obliged but my "nearer" was back to my original position away from the tent wall back into my sleeping bag. That was my only acceptable compromise.
Papa Giacomo: Nearer.
After some painful moments, I edged nervously towards my tormentor.
Papa Giacomo: Nearer again.
I shook my head but Papa held my wrist like before and the approval of my father suddenly superseded my anxiety. I shuffled closer. It felt like my sternum was about to be ruptured by my beating heart.
Papa Giacomo: Bravo, bellissimo. You're doing good. Now hold out your hand.
Buoyed by the praise from the person whose praise has always meant the most to me, I instinctively put out my hand as though gleefully awaiting a reward of candy. By the time I realised the nature of his request, it was too late. He had dropped the spider on my hand. I shrieked and quivered. Suddenly, the spider sunk its chelicerae into the fleshy mound of my palm. I shook it off and jumped backwards in more shock than pain. The bite mark on my hand was red raw. The spider retreated swiftly to the other side of the tent and cowered in even worse fear than I had felt. This image stays with me even today. My fearsome foe was actually more petrified than I was. It filled me with sympathy but didn't remove all my terror.
Young Quixote: Papa it bit me! Get it out! Please... I did what you said.
Papa Giacomo: Do you understand what happened there? Fear multiplies like a virus. You were afraid. The spider was afraid. You infected each other. Watch this.
Papa confidently reached out to the spider, his hand cornering it against the fabric. He slowly, without even a hint of trepidation, scooped up the creature into his palm. The spider visibly relaxed.
Papa Giacomo: See that? I just infected the spider with my courage. Look how peaceful it is now. We're all connected, Qui, this spider and you, this spider and I. We're different but there's a tune of life that's playing throughout all the natural world. This little guy knows that I don't want to hurt him. I don't fear him or hate him. He senses that.
Young Quixote: What do you want me to do? Pretend I'm not afraid?
Papa Giacomo: No. You ARE afraid but that's where you're at now. You might still be afraid the second time you touch this spider. You might be afraid the 15th time. But I'm not letting you open this zip until you're no longer afraid of this little guy.
I was aggrieved.
Young Quixote: But what if it bites me loads?
Papa Giacomo: Then you'll have more of those beautiful fang marks. But you'll be fine. You'll be a bit stronger each time. I'm not letting you get it out of this tent until your fear is gone.
Young Quixote: My fear's gone. Now open the zip and put it out!
Papa Giacomo: I'll know when your fear truly has gone.
And he did. I'd like to say it was a quick process but, truth be told, it took over 2 hours. The spider ran and hid most of that time but I ended up with a couple more bites for my trouble. Yet Papa was right. I was OK. It actually became quite fun after a while as the adrenaline of terror turned more to that of exhilaration. By the end, part of me felt quite sad at letting my new 8 legged friend leave to roam free.
This brings me to the present day. I'm sat here with Papa in a nondescript studio filming my very first promo for Action Wrestling. He has a large grocery bag and is concealing the contents every time I try to sneak a peak. He says it's a present to celebrate me signing my first contract.
Papa Giacomo: Bet you hated me that morning?
Quixote: Of course I didn't hate you. I definitely wanted to be at home with Mum and her book club friends though.
Papa Giacomo: Especially Margaret with the short skirt hey? Do you remember her? Mamma mia bella donna!
Quixote: I met her in a pub last year. Those legs haven't aged much, I tell you that. Especially when she wrapped them around me...
Papa Giacomo (interrupting): Gentlemen don't kiss and tell, Qui!
Quixote: The kissing wasn't the most memorable part.
Papa Giacomo: HEY! Back to our camping trip, I know it was a bit intense but it was an important lesson that will pay dividends in your wrestling career. Speaking of which, I want to give you your present now. Close your eyes and put out your hand.
Hmm, this is weird. What could it be? I hear Papa rustling around in the grocery bag. I'm guessing some knee pads or new boots. Perhaps Action Wrestling have already designed me some merch. Oh dear, what's this? It feels tingly. Sharp yet soft. Shit, it's moving. Eyes open!
Quixote: What the fuck is this?!
Papa Giacomo: Language Qui! Don't be vulgar like your peers in the 201 & Fun division. You have class, remember.
Can he blame me? He's given me a giant spider. It's standing upright on 8 firm legs which are pressing into my skin like needles. Its fangs are braced and ready to strike. The abdomen of this thing looks like an American football. It's a sandy colour with jet black eyes and it's threateningly erratic in its movement.
Quixote: Another lesson in fear?
Papa Giacomo: Not a lesson, a milestone. This is a Huntsman Spider. They're notoriously aggressive, defensive and their bites can be extremely dangerous.
Quixote (sarcastic): Yey! What a tremendous gift Papa.
Papa Giacomo: You don't like it because you've been programmed to see this as the name implies. A huntsman. A disgusting spider. And yes, the fact is that you need to have caution with this spider as it can be dangerous. CAUTION. That's exactly what you're exhibiting right now.
Quixote: You've lost me?
He is holding my wrist now.
Papa Giacomo: You're not enjoying this experience. Nor should you. But your breathing is normal, perspiration no more than usual, pulse is regular. You aren't physiologically showing any signs of fear.
Quixote: But it's a lame ass experience.
Papa Giacomo: Maybe. So is receiving a Missile Dropkick from Teddy Geisel, a Spinning Back Elbow from Jaice Wilds, an Octopus Stretch by Vasillis Knight or watching a Roderick Cage promo. This won't be all a bed of roses here in AW.
The Hunstman continues to crawl. I'm starting to warm to him.
Papa Giacomo: The point is that you have stared fear in the face and it's backed down from you. Life hasn't been always a dream and you've known more than your fair share of heartache and pain. That you cannot, nor should you be numbed from. But Quixote Della Torre isn't a fearful man. Ever since you were a boy, you've confronted evil and injustice while others around you hid away. You walk tall because your conscience is clean. Your whole childhood you've stood up to bullies. Their eyes have met yours like the primitive animals they are; determined to take their territory. But ultimately they don't live with integrity and that is where they always fall. No matter how much they've violated their consciences, they know deep down that they are weak. It takes more valour to live by the strong principles we've raised you on than the selfish ambition that is the air these bullies breathe. Look at this Huntsman.
I'm looking. Not sure where this analogy is going. Or where the spider is going. Seems content on my hand for now but I'm keeping it well away from the rest of me.
Papa Giacomo: They pursue prey smaller than them. The rest of the time, they mostly cover up under rocks and blend in with foliage. Despite their name and appearance, they are defensive creatures.
Quixote: So how does this relate to me in Action Wrestling?
Papa Giacomo: Simple. There are many Huntsman here in AW. They might look terrifying and they may indeed eviscerate their prey. Soon, my son, soon comes a time when the hunters become the hunted. They cannot withstand the strength you have inside you. This is strength you don't even know you have and that's why we're starting you out in the 201 & Fun division.
Quixote: I'm paying my dues.
Papa Giacomo: Baggianate or as you English say, bullshit! You are not here to pay dues or work your way up a mythical ladder. The glass ceiling shattered the moment you signed your contract. Young boys, and by extension young girls, need you to be the true Quixote Della Torre. "The Guillotine" that will cut through all the deception, all the evil, all the weakness in this company! The gentleman is such a dying breed, he's almost extinct... but you, Qui, have a duty to be the beacon of gallantry. You can be the one wrestler here whose head deserves to be kept high. If you stay that course, you will prevail every time. Do not withhold your integrity and don't dim who you are for the benefit of the cowards on this roster.
Hmm, I'm listening.
Quixote: Why then don't I just go into the heavyweight division and go straight for the jugular? Target SJW right from the get go?
Papa Giacomo: You could. You could. I know how good you are and can't even imagine how good you'll be. Though remember all those years ago when I put that little spider in our tent?
Quixote: Of course I remember. We just spoke about that. Oh HOLD UP, I knew you put that spider in there!
Papa Giacomo: Yes, well I originally considered putting a Huntsman like this in there.
You asshole!
Quixote: That would have been sadistic.
Papa Giacomo: Not really; just a bit more impractical as the bites would have set you back a bit more than what the little spider gave you.
Quixote: Is that why you didn't use the Huntsman?
Papa Giacomo: No, it's because I believe in the journey. Over the years, you have overcome little hurdles that got progressively higher. You became stronger with each one. You see, your biggest problem is your talent.
Quixote: My talent?
Papa Giacomo: It is. You've always been able to skip ahead of others. You jumped up classes in school. You dated models before your 18th birthday. You started your own entrepreneurial endeavours while most kids were hypnotised in front of their PlayStation all their free time. You never had guitar lessons; you just picked it up and played. There is something good and proper about going through the stages, you know. Walking the journey. Forming character.
Quixote: But it doesn't seem too expedient.
Papa Giacomo: Not everyone has your talent and you can't transmit that but you can transmit your heart. Young men round the world can see your perseverance. They can be inspired by how you conduct yourself step by step. You need to take them on this journey with them. If you leap right to the top, you'll lose those you most need to take along with you. The 201 & Fun division might represent the small spider you encountered when you were 7 years old rather than this Huntsman but it is a crucial quest for you.
Quixote: OK, I get it. You're saying I don't target Sidney J. Warwick yet but focus on Jaice Wilds?
Papa Giacomo: Not even him. He's the 201 & Fun Champion. There's a step prior to that you need to take.
Quixote: Who? What?
Papa Giacomo: Your little spider is waiting for you at Monday Night Clash. Let's watch the 201 Elimination Tag Team Match carefully. There's someone who I believe has been knitting a web of lies. It might be entrapping some people but ultimately, it's not structurally sound and it will break. I believe you are the one to tear down their entanglements. You can expose them to all the AW fans by confronting them like you have every creepy crawly and nemesis that has ever crossed your path. Not only will you show these fans that it's imperative to stand up to darkness, I believe you will also subdue that wrestler and change their mindset forever. You will know this wrestler when you see him at Clash Survivor.
Quixote: I will pay close attention. By the way, are you going to take this spider back now?
Please take it back Papa.
Papa Giacomo: Why would I take it back? It's rude to give gifts back, you know!
Quixote: Alright, let's head on. We've got a flight to Bismarck to catch!
Papa has turned around and is heading for the door. Now's my chance. Shall I do this? After all, he IS my father. Screw it, it'll be fun!
Papa Giacomo: ARRRRRGHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF!
Haha, the Huntsman looks great on Papa's head! Thankfully it hasn't taken a bite.
Quixote: I thought you taught me not to fear?
Papa Giacomo: I'm not afraid. I'm just... err... never mind. Che palle!
No way. He's actually keeping on walking with a freaking Huntsman on his head. We're walking through the Action Wrestling office now. What must these production staff members be thinking?! I think we need to turn the camera off now.