Post by Zombie McMorris on Oct 18, 2018 19:28:21 GMT -5
Chapter I: Out of Z History
[ the fed gets to choose ZMACs path in the story ]
Traveling down the goat path with the team of scouts, the sun at our faces, we traverse the rocks and boulders that hinder our progress. The two scouts with me were Grekos and Dystrosis- I dunno, I didnt name these ugly bastards but for scouts they were a talkative lot. We could see the Persian army, a million plus strong off in the far distance and the Spartans smiled like children.
“Theres said to be over a million persians in that army.” Said Grekos.
“Too bad theres not a million and one, I could leave one alive for you. Cant you go through battle without at least one kill - what kind of Spartan would you be then? ” Answers Dystrosis.
“I swear to Jam Will Hey Zeus, I will murder you both if you don’t shut up. We cant scout the enemy if you two girls are whinging this entire time. Besides, Grekos cant hold a spear properly and Dystrosis is lucky if he knows what end of the sword to use. Face it, you two are hopeless.”
“Yah right, and what many are you going to kill Zmacules?”
I shurg.
“ how ever many I want - oh and two Spartans”
ZMAC uses rock throw and rock slide - It was super effective. Grekos died on impact as I threw him down the cliff, cracking his skull off the rocks. Dystrosis was still alive, tumbling hard but not that serious hurt. I slide down the hill after him as he picks up his sword.
“Traitor!” He yells. “Persian spy!”
“I mean, you’re not wrong but I also havent made up my mind yet.”
“You’ll die for this!”
“I mean, I’m not but please - give me a chubby.”
Dystrosis picks up his sword and runs me through the gut. I slump over his shoulder in a blood spattering gasp.
“Bitch move” I whispered.
I use my left leg to push off of him and pull the sword out of my body as he looks on in both shock and horror.
“Wha- what are you?”
“Nobody.”
FALCON UPPERCUT off the cliff slide.
Now to carry onto the Persian camp.
What will I do there?
A. Give up the Spartans
B. Join the Persians
C. Take over the army
D. write in
___________________
Chapter II: Stan Yaself
( Prologue )
Oh shit! Its ya boi -> Ol’ Z! Oh no, Oh yah bheeyy-beaa! And I’m commin at chu live for the k-k-kummin at chu LIVE!
LOL
All my rats up in this bitch did you see that Link promo?
Link, I’mma speak to you personally. Right now. Just me and you. I’ve seen your promo. Counted the minutes, found the transcripts and I just want to tell you that you done goofed. I know that you think I’ve obsessed over you but know that I left 201 and went into the TV division. I did the company favor -> I put myself in a position to hold down some low tier belt that some corny chump couldnt carry with a forklift. Yah, you beat me once. Remind me where I’m supposed to care about that. Ol’ Z is reckless-> don’t get your crotchless panties twisted about it. However, you ducked out and gave your belt up. Then I went on to the longest winning streak in ADUB. I went 10 fuckin weeks wreckin fuccbois just like you.
Whats touted as the feud of feuds is because I’m the best stick man in this industry. Funny cuz I’m the ‘best’ of a lot of things in this industry. I know that eats you. It eats at Shade, it eats at a lot of dudes because I’m loud, crude, and dirty. I don’t look like you. I don’t sound like you. How does a man like me succeed in this sport that should be tailor made for men like you. So lets go back those twelve weeks since I took your TV and obliterated your record -> a TV title legacy that I made and that will stand for the forseeable future.
Lets see how you compare to ya boi.
* checks over stat sheets and box scores BROUGHT TO YOU BY SEAT GEEK. ( shameless endorsement plug LOL ) *
Lets see:
You lost to lockheart, lost to D-Day at Execution, lost a ALL-IN qualifier against Kevy B then you got your heat back when you beat D-Day in a tables match the night that I lost the TV title then you beat Hajeet bros last week? LOL Fuck you, buddy.
I’m 10 and 1. You’re 9 and 3.
I have a record 9 title defenses and you have a handful of nothing that just landed you back here against me.
Like, I get it, Link, you don’t lose often but you will lose this week. And I only stack us up cuz in the weeks that I’ve been setting records you been -> kinda -> doing jack shit. Wheres your US title or your UCI strap? You so good right? Right? RIGHT
LMAO
You fuckin scrub.
And they call this a feud of feuds when I’ve created, carried, nursed, burped, fed, bathed, changed, raised and buried this entire thang. I mean, wheres this pan out for you? You clearly aint good enough or popular enough to go get a better title. In 9 whole damn weeks you just farted around and got nothing for it. You just jerked off to me beating your record and making your ‘greatest of all time’ TV Championship run look like Usain Bolt went and grabbed his mail. Trust me, people forgot about you quickly. Like last week for reference, I beat Shadow love with a promo about a car and I’ve legit been feuding with that dude for like three years. You won’t get such passing disrespect. Nah.
They always say theres two ZMACS. Neither one are good for you but I’m no longer bound by the rules of the TV Championship and I need to stretch my legs.
So Link, your options are: A. you beat ol’ Z-> to which you’re really holdin onto that. But hey, I’m holdin onto the fact that I made you forfeit the belt rather than take the L against me. In truth, I don’t blame you but I’mma tack a sin on for it anyway
Or option B. I beat the living shit out of you this week LIVE on PPV for less than nothing because I already got what I wanted from you-> Your title and your legacy. And as you sat there and failed to rebuild your brand; now you find yourself up against me again this week.
Wow, there truly is no upside in this for you but you comin out the gate strong right?
* looks over taped promos *
A ‘STAN’ remix? You gone beat me with a ‘Stan’ remix?
Bitch,
I’d say hold my tea but its about tah get hawt in here.
Now watch me lay your body next to this promo instrumental.
LOL
FGT
______________________________________
Chapter III: Aint a Dancin Nilla
The Living Room, dance club. Hawaii.
“I don’t Dance” By DMX is pounding the clubs supple ass poon as everybody on the floor loses their shit, throwin arms and drinks in the air. Ruby is grinding up and down in front me like some sexy Shakira/ rihanna shit while sipping her straight vodka. My bitch aint no bitch. She gone drink she gonna drank up in here. We grindin’ and swayin cuz that's how she wants to spend her week before we head off to Carnage. Ruby wants to let loose, party, enjoy herself. We ended the Summer of Z and our tours of different festivals across the US. We finished up our endorsement tours and I’m between films for Syfy. The only thing we have coming up is our Fright Fest nights at Six Flags New England. So to her, why not take a night off for ourselves. Its all business and action at ACTION WRESTLING and with guys like Lincoln waddling around, with his zero charisma with that stone chizzled body, its easy to see why a greezy, coked up mad man gets all the contracts -> I’m a fuckin hype machine that brings in the cheddah and go ask Tort, I aint askin much in return.
In our dancing, I back up into some douche bag , slipping his drink and making him stumble over himself so you know, he’s gonna demand some sort of satisfaction.He turns around with his swollen fist and small dick from all the roids. Bitch, I just snort coke.
“ Listen you dick weed.”
LOL whats it with white bois and the half assed insults? Like, dick weed? That's a half step above ‘buster brown’ let me guess, theres about to be trouble - big trouble - up in river city?
WHAM!
Ruby jumped the mother fuckin gun and cold cock-slapped this dude right in his sack seat ( his chin )
“I’mma fuck ya mans up”
“Excuse you? Do you know who the fuck this is?” She replies, slappin my chest. “This is mother fuckin ZMAC, the coked up fuckin mad man. And you go gone fuck him up? I just slap them dick suckin lips and you aint doin a damn thang about it.”
“I don’t hit chicks but cha mans- ” He says, still tryin to sound tough but Ruby cuts him off with another slap.
“ And I hit bitches. I just hit you twice and you just standin there. I could bend over and you still couldnt whoop my ass. Here -” Ruby dips over. “ First shots on me” She stands back up. “ Yah, that's what I thought.”
I love drunk Ruby. Drunk Ruby is Bea.
“You aint about to do shit, cuz my slick so tight and wet, when I fuck you up it’d turn your prick into a little two-inch diamond. But you don’t hit women; why? Bitch, I’ll bounce my B cups off your cheek bone and shatter your jaw.”
“You only say that cuz ya boi ain’t shit; that's why he’s hiding behind you.”
“He’s only standin behind me cuz he’s physically fingerin my asshole while I verbally fist this asshole that I see before me. But if you wana fight him, lets go outside. Watch you get trounced N bounced right out cha superman socks.”
Get the extension cord, I’m gettin a chubby.
We start to walk out of the club as I whisper to her.
“I’mma fuck you so hard after this.”
“You better." she coo’s she kisses my cheek.
Once outside she square off a couple yards apart.
“So you’re the legendary ZMAC, huh?” Asks the guy rhetorically.
“ Yah, somethin like that.” I reply, taking off my jacket.
“You don’t look so tough to me. I can see why Lincoln beat your face in a few months back. Now me and him are going to have something in common.”
I take my shirt off, revealing my thin, bony and scarred body. “ Do you want to know how I got these scars? From wars all across history. From death. From dismemberment. From being shot, stabbed, burnt alive, sometimes even in the middle of the ring. What I can tell you is that none of it happened at the hands of Lincoln.”
“Dude, its just a fuckin gimmick, its all fake.”
“Fake?” I take a switch blade out of my boot and flick it open. “It could be. We should test that.” I jam the knife into my neck, half way up the blade. “I already got it half way in, why don’t chu just go and finish the job. You wana be like Link, right? Right? Get over here and finish what you started.”
The guy backs off.
“Yah, that's what I thought. You and Link do got a few things in common, you both little bitches that cant finish the fight. Its OK, I’ll finish it for you.” I stick the knife all the way through my neck, slowly pull it out and inspect it. “ The only man that can truely beat zmac IS zmac. Not you, not Link, not nobody. Like Link, you had the chance this week to step up and make a statement and make something of yourself and like Link you chickened out right at the last second. You talk a lot of big game but at the end of the day, its just a brief candle, signifying nothing and nobody will care for or remember you.
You and him can pass this week off as a big moment in your life. Go tell your friends you whooped my ass. Go tell your chick you whooped my ass. Go tell yourself you whooped my ass but at the end of the day, the truth is at the end of this blade and this week, I ain’t losin. I got to fight him at an event called Carnage and it aint going to get close to that because just like now its going to be a one sided beatdown with me curb stomping Link back to the TV title division that I took from him because clearly and again, another thing you two have in common, you aint got what it takes. I’mma whoop you the same way I’m going to whoop him. He backed out the last time we were going to fight so its only fitting that you do the same; less I make an example of you too.“
“Nah man, I think we good.”
“That's what I thought. But I’ll give you credit, you put up a better fight than Link did this week. The only difference is that he’ll end up paying for it.”
________________________
Chapter IV: Two of the Same
Link, I want chu know that there is comparison between us, just the paradox between us the same way that there is between me and Shadowlove. We are juxtaposed, two parallel lines that will never meet or see things eye to know and cant comprehend that the other exists. To you I’m a dumpster fire- an anomaly to be gawked at and not taken seriously. I’m tall, I’m lanky, I’m bony, I don’t fit in. I’m not the mold that created your sorry punk ass.
Which one of us looks like a pro wrestler; you’d say you.
Which one of us looks like a scum bag. Yo, that's ya boi right here.
However, Link, I made a lot of headway in this industry. I’m known as a maddog killer. I’m a coked up madman, the evil incarnate. I’m as brutal as I am sarcastic. I have personality. I have yet to see yours.
I have yet to see anything from you. I an give you that you’re a decent wrestler but I’m the K-k-kai Jew cummin fah you at Carnage and I half expected you to give me a better fight. I expected you to come at me hard now that you had nothing to lose. Just know that I’m capping off our ‘feud’ and going on to another championship. I want TFK. But then again, I am a former UCI champion and I have a claim to that. We’ll just see where the cards fall.
You gain nothing from being me except that you get to say that you beat me then you get to roam around like you have for the past ten weeks because you have no goal, no aim, and most of all you are not marketable.
If you were, you’d have a belt, you’d have sponsors, you’d be pullin in eyes, asses and assets. I do all three just by existing here. People want to see me run my mouth and curb stomp pretty bois like you because people don’t look like you. They look like me. The freak, the geeks and the unwanted. I am the voice to the voiceless.
With the windows down and the system up.
I’m freedom personified and it fucks you up inside that you cant have what I have.
You are the product of your environment. We have seen equal success by two different measures and that eats at you inside. Let it. Let it fester. Let it wound ya pride when I dump you out on your skull with that Deuce N’ Half, top rope tombstone. Dove Kill you so hard I erase your gimmick like Thanos. I’m a creature you never want to meet in the middle of the ring. But you will.
You’ll see what you unleashed and you’ll find out that you’ll float down here too because on the inside you’re ugly. Ugly like me. I can see your true colors. See the real you.
______________________________
Chapter V: Return of the VAPOR KING
( Old Skool Hype-Fest )
* Vincent ‘Buddy’ Roman appears next to Shia Lebouf, who looks proud and happy to see him. You can almost see his tail wagging as they stand in front of a promotional backdrop for ADUBs CARNAGE. *
Shia: Its ya boi! The LIVING BREATHING Gif man himself and I’m here LIVE at the Seattle Arena. I’m here at fan Access and I came across the man to my right, Vincent Buddy Roman.
* Shia turns to his right to interview Buddy Roman, who clears his throat and adjusts his tie. *
Buddy Roman: Hello, son, nice to see you again. It has indeed been a long, long time but now your sweet abba is home.
* Buddy turns to the camera to properly address it and the world. *
Buddy Roman: My name is Vincent Buddy Roman, Proud Father and I am the advocate for the Evil Incarnate himself, Zombie McMorris. This week at Carnage MY client is going to face off with the former up and coming Lincoln Keuchly. I say former because a man with so much promise so long ago has stalled out and became content with mediocre success. And really that is the story of all men like him. They fall in love with their look. They fall in love with the idea that they can make it that they actually forget TO make it. He forget why he came to the dance at all because he is in the bathroom staring in the mirror admiring himself. In truth, Lincoln is his own biggest fan and he’ll regret that because ZMAC is a killah shark with cold dead eyes, like a dolls eyes.
Do you know why I returned, Lincoln? Because ZMAC cannot be controlled. I can only aim him and he and I eye and the luscious Ruby Red are eyeing bigger and better things than some midcard jackass like yourself. You see, Lincoln, the fans who follow ZMAC know just how royally screwed you are because MY client is a conquer. Where are you are, Lincoln are a quitter. You coulda have faced my client like a man but rather you ran like the little bitch that you really are and you stayed in that low profile because you knew that once you got a US or UCI title, my client would come for you again. Just as he comes for everybody.
In fact, I got a call from Torture just the other week to come back because MY client was just ham fisting the entire company and as good for business as that is, people were getting unhappy because they felt as though they just did not have a chance against MY client, Zombie McMorris. You know that feeling down in the pit of your stomach, that's about to become a grim reality. At Carnage, here at the Seattle Arena this pathetic little feud between you two will be put to rest once and for all as the better Coked Up Mad Man rises from the ashes of the mediocrity that you, yourself created and becomes one of the best that ACTION WRESTLING has ever - and will ever - see. Period.
There will be no one to save you. There will be no one to protect you, Lincoln; for you cannot even protect yourself. You will come face to face with man whose made a career by ending the careers of men like you. I’m here to tell you now and truthfully, Lincoln that your career will never be the same again after MY client gets done dismantling you piece by piece in the middle of that ring and he curb stomps your skull into the mat. This is about guys like you verse guys like him and it never - ever works out for guys like you. Just as you think you got this won, WHAM, Falcon Punch.
WHAM
Psycho Crusher
WHAM
FGT-KLR
WHAM
Zombie Drop
WHAM
Deep Dick 6.
Lincoln, there are many ways to break your spirit and break your bones but my favorite has been and always will be
SSTTTOPPP!! HES ALREADY DEAD!!
That's you, Link. That's you. Dead before this match even began. The biggest match of your ADUB career and you shit the bed; to which you have to lay in. You claim that you cant stand ZMAC because but truly you can’t STAN ya self.
So Monday night, here in Seattle, the dust will settle and the Carnage will be apparent. Lincoln's run as a ‘rising’ star will be upseated and ruined by the Pale Rider himself. Because Ladies and gentlemen, the Vapor KING has returned.
So if you would please put your hand over your heart and with a loud and clear voice…
CONQUER. THE. HATE