Post by Lincoln Kuechly on Oct 17, 2018 15:47:20 GMT -5
Stan.
Dear Link, I made some memes about you, but you still ain't respondin'
I left my twitter, my accomplishments and my home phone at the bottom
I wrote two promos about you back in summer, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a lack of interest or somethin'
Sometimes I talk pointless shit when I jot 'em
Mr Zombie McMorris, never has an obsession ran so deep. Never in my career, on my life for that matter, have I ever had a man that has just craved my support and my attention. Allow me to take a trip back in time, to a couple of months ago. It all started when I was holding the Television Championship. I was dominant and, I was the rightful holder of it. I earned that title and I defending it like nobody ever had. I was running through the competition, nobody could stop me. I had that title locked away, a key was needed to get into the box. Only I had the key to get in and I was about to surrender it to anyone, especially not Zombie McMorris.
Circa June 2018, that is when the obsession started. That is when Zombie McMorris became Lincoln Kuechly's biggest fan. He would stalk my moves, he was in love with his hero. I was his idol, he wanted to be me. He was desperate to get the support and the attention that I recieve from everyone involved in Action Wrestling. He wanted absolutely everything that I had. He simply craved Lincoln Kuechly. This isn't something new to celebrities like myself though. I know how obsessed fans can be. Certain people can become captivated with other people and just want everything that they have. It is one of the main sins though, Zombie McMorris, you are just like Donald, many men can become obsessed with other men, it's quite a common phenomenon. This can happen especially when a man wants to do what another man does. I get it, anybody who has achieved everything that they wish they could achieve, they will become besottted with. Unfortunately for myself, because of what I have achieved, it is now normal to me to have men craving everything that I have. It's still a little surreal but I am getting used to it.
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"Imagine all the people" Lincoln sings as he is walking down the street. We are currently in New York City, the big apple. Lincoln is walking down the street full of his usual confidence and swagger.
A man then suddenly cuts Lincoln off as he is walking down the street. “Do you want something?” Lincoln asks in a stern voice, he is clearly quite frustrated with how the man just cut him off. “Yes please, I am a big fan of yours. Can I please get an autograph? It would mean so much to me, you are my favourite Action Wrestling superstar” the man responds back to Lincoln with a voice full of glee and admiration. “Anything for the fans” Lincoln quickly responds. “Thank you, Lincoln, thank you ever so much. Here is my book to sign” The man responds and then hands Lincoln a copy of The Catcher in the Rye to sign. Lincoln looks a little bit confused but he obliges anyway. “Who should I make it out to?” Lincoln queries. “Odin please sir, can you write your biggest fan too?” the man responds with a strange tone. “Of course, no problem” Lincoln then signs the book and hands it back to the man. “I’ll see you around man, thanks for being a fan” Lincoln tells the man.
Lincoln then begins to walk away and walk down the street. It isn’t quite clear where he is heading, he may be just enjoying a nice stroll in the city that never sleeps. However, it becomes quite apparent that the man he just gave the autograph too is still close by. Lincoln carries on walking and the man is following. Lincoln just keeps on walking down the street and the man is still following close behind. This could just be a coincidence as the man may be heading the same way or something more sinister. Lincoln has noticed this man is following him. Lincoln then cuts left suddenly to see if the man carries on following him. The man unsurprisingly does. “Are you following me?!” Lincoln shouts at the man after he turns around.
The man then begins to panic and looks a little bit flustered as he hears Lincoln shouting at him. “No, no, no, I am sorry, Lincoln. I was just wondering if I could get a photo. I’d love to have a photo of me and my favourite superstar” the man responds, struggling to get his words out a little. Lincoln sighs a little before responding “If I take a picture with you, will you stop following me around? It isn’t cool dude” The dude quickly responds with “Yeah, sure, that is fine”. Lincoln then poses for a photograph with the man. He then shakes Lincoln’s hand and walks away rapidly. Lincoln seems very confused and then we see him mouth “wrestling fans are freaks” as he walks off.
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You never have been able to get over that loss have you, Zombie McMorris? You’ve never got over the fact I beat you, live on pay per view, to retain my Television Championship. That has haunted you ever since it happened, you never will quite get over the fact that I pinned you. You haven’t been the same since then. That loss to Beau Blaze, we all know the reason that happened. You were too busy thinking about me. You were far too concerned with what I was doing and how you could get back at me. You could have still been a champion, ZMAC. You could have still had that gold draped over your shoulder. Imagine that, you could have shattered my record instead of only just beating it. Alas, you let your obsession with Lincoln Kuechly overcome you and it impacted you in ways you didn’t even realise. You’ve let it get to you so badly. All over one fucking loss, what a loser you are. It’s about time that your mentality changed. You need a winner’s mentality like I have, it’s just one of countless reasons in which I am a fucking superstar and you are a pathetic little bitch. It’s the reason that you are obsessing over me, just wishing that you were me. You want every little thing that I have. You want the fame, the glory, the gold, everything that I have. Remember though, only I can have this. Nobody else, especially not Zombie McMorris. You don’t deserve the shit that I have. Until you snap out of this loser’s mentality, you will never ever have the riches that I have. You will never be on the level that Lincoln Kuechly is. You can dream of being me and having what I have but you will never be me.
There are a lot of changes that you need to make, Zombie. The disgusting obsession and the way that you constantly tried to get my attention for months on end was embarrassing. It displayed your true character and it cost you a lot of fans. People began to support you a hell of a lot less after that display, they realised that you were never at the level of the man that you were trying to be. It exposed you as a low tier wrestler who was desperate for the attention of those above you. You set a precedent in that little rivalry that you created between us. You set the precedent that you were a wrestler who obsessed over others rather than focusing on yourself. You put far more importance on me than you did on yourself. It’s almost as if you know absolutely nothing about self-marketing and building a brand for yourself. You didn’t speak about yourself enough. If you don’t care about yourself, why would they fans? None of the Action Wrestling fans see you as a serious competitor, I think that is as clear as day for all to see. That fact is entirely your own fault, you stepped into this company as a joke, you continue to make a joke of yourself and you will exit this company as a joke. I, on the other hand, am seen as a vicious competitor that is seen as a superstar in this company.
You will truly never get over the fact that I beat you, will you? In the incredibly unlikely situation that you emerge from this match victorious, you still won’t be able to get over the fact that I embarrassed you live on pay per view. Not even beating me will serve as retribution and allow you to get back on with your life. The fact that you did all that talking in the build up, only to lose, it was hilarious for everyone to see. Keep trying it though, ZMAC. Keep trying to be me, you will never be Lincoln Kuechly.
Often imitated, never replicated.
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Dear Zombie McMorris
I know it’s been a while but I’ve been a little busy and I haven’t been able to respond to you. I appreciate the support and the fact that you are my biggest fan. I’m sorry that it has taken so long to get back to you, I know that you are my biggest fan and that I am your idol. I know I promised that I would write back and I am sorry that I didn’t, I hope this can make up for it. I hope that the attention that I am giving you now will help you and take away the pain. I never want to lose you as my biggest fan, here is the attention from me that you wanted. I will aim to respond to all your tweets, Instagram comments and letters that you send to me in the future. I am a very busy man who is too busy dominating in the ring to respond to all my fans. I made an exception with you as I know you are such a huge fan.
Yours sincerely,
Your idol, Lincoln Kuechly
Dear Link, I made some memes about you, but you still ain't respondin'
I left my twitter, my accomplishments and my home phone at the bottom
I wrote two promos about you back in summer, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a lack of interest or somethin'
Sometimes I talk pointless shit when I jot 'em
Mr Zombie McMorris, never has an obsession ran so deep. Never in my career, on my life for that matter, have I ever had a man that has just craved my support and my attention. Allow me to take a trip back in time, to a couple of months ago. It all started when I was holding the Television Championship. I was dominant and, I was the rightful holder of it. I earned that title and I defending it like nobody ever had. I was running through the competition, nobody could stop me. I had that title locked away, a key was needed to get into the box. Only I had the key to get in and I was about to surrender it to anyone, especially not Zombie McMorris.
Circa June 2018, that is when the obsession started. That is when Zombie McMorris became Lincoln Kuechly's biggest fan. He would stalk my moves, he was in love with his hero. I was his idol, he wanted to be me. He was desperate to get the support and the attention that I recieve from everyone involved in Action Wrestling. He wanted absolutely everything that I had. He simply craved Lincoln Kuechly. This isn't something new to celebrities like myself though. I know how obsessed fans can be. Certain people can become captivated with other people and just want everything that they have. It is one of the main sins though, Zombie McMorris, you are just like Donald, many men can become obsessed with other men, it's quite a common phenomenon. This can happen especially when a man wants to do what another man does. I get it, anybody who has achieved everything that they wish they could achieve, they will become besottted with. Unfortunately for myself, because of what I have achieved, it is now normal to me to have men craving everything that I have. It's still a little surreal but I am getting used to it.
----------------------------------------------------
"Imagine all the people" Lincoln sings as he is walking down the street. We are currently in New York City, the big apple. Lincoln is walking down the street full of his usual confidence and swagger.
A man then suddenly cuts Lincoln off as he is walking down the street. “Do you want something?” Lincoln asks in a stern voice, he is clearly quite frustrated with how the man just cut him off. “Yes please, I am a big fan of yours. Can I please get an autograph? It would mean so much to me, you are my favourite Action Wrestling superstar” the man responds back to Lincoln with a voice full of glee and admiration. “Anything for the fans” Lincoln quickly responds. “Thank you, Lincoln, thank you ever so much. Here is my book to sign” The man responds and then hands Lincoln a copy of The Catcher in the Rye to sign. Lincoln looks a little bit confused but he obliges anyway. “Who should I make it out to?” Lincoln queries. “Odin please sir, can you write your biggest fan too?” the man responds with a strange tone. “Of course, no problem” Lincoln then signs the book and hands it back to the man. “I’ll see you around man, thanks for being a fan” Lincoln tells the man.
Lincoln then begins to walk away and walk down the street. It isn’t quite clear where he is heading, he may be just enjoying a nice stroll in the city that never sleeps. However, it becomes quite apparent that the man he just gave the autograph too is still close by. Lincoln carries on walking and the man is following. Lincoln just keeps on walking down the street and the man is still following close behind. This could just be a coincidence as the man may be heading the same way or something more sinister. Lincoln has noticed this man is following him. Lincoln then cuts left suddenly to see if the man carries on following him. The man unsurprisingly does. “Are you following me?!” Lincoln shouts at the man after he turns around.
The man then begins to panic and looks a little bit flustered as he hears Lincoln shouting at him. “No, no, no, I am sorry, Lincoln. I was just wondering if I could get a photo. I’d love to have a photo of me and my favourite superstar” the man responds, struggling to get his words out a little. Lincoln sighs a little before responding “If I take a picture with you, will you stop following me around? It isn’t cool dude” The dude quickly responds with “Yeah, sure, that is fine”. Lincoln then poses for a photograph with the man. He then shakes Lincoln’s hand and walks away rapidly. Lincoln seems very confused and then we see him mouth “wrestling fans are freaks” as he walks off.
------------------------------------
You never have been able to get over that loss have you, Zombie McMorris? You’ve never got over the fact I beat you, live on pay per view, to retain my Television Championship. That has haunted you ever since it happened, you never will quite get over the fact that I pinned you. You haven’t been the same since then. That loss to Beau Blaze, we all know the reason that happened. You were too busy thinking about me. You were far too concerned with what I was doing and how you could get back at me. You could have still been a champion, ZMAC. You could have still had that gold draped over your shoulder. Imagine that, you could have shattered my record instead of only just beating it. Alas, you let your obsession with Lincoln Kuechly overcome you and it impacted you in ways you didn’t even realise. You’ve let it get to you so badly. All over one fucking loss, what a loser you are. It’s about time that your mentality changed. You need a winner’s mentality like I have, it’s just one of countless reasons in which I am a fucking superstar and you are a pathetic little bitch. It’s the reason that you are obsessing over me, just wishing that you were me. You want every little thing that I have. You want the fame, the glory, the gold, everything that I have. Remember though, only I can have this. Nobody else, especially not Zombie McMorris. You don’t deserve the shit that I have. Until you snap out of this loser’s mentality, you will never ever have the riches that I have. You will never be on the level that Lincoln Kuechly is. You can dream of being me and having what I have but you will never be me.
There are a lot of changes that you need to make, Zombie. The disgusting obsession and the way that you constantly tried to get my attention for months on end was embarrassing. It displayed your true character and it cost you a lot of fans. People began to support you a hell of a lot less after that display, they realised that you were never at the level of the man that you were trying to be. It exposed you as a low tier wrestler who was desperate for the attention of those above you. You set a precedent in that little rivalry that you created between us. You set the precedent that you were a wrestler who obsessed over others rather than focusing on yourself. You put far more importance on me than you did on yourself. It’s almost as if you know absolutely nothing about self-marketing and building a brand for yourself. You didn’t speak about yourself enough. If you don’t care about yourself, why would they fans? None of the Action Wrestling fans see you as a serious competitor, I think that is as clear as day for all to see. That fact is entirely your own fault, you stepped into this company as a joke, you continue to make a joke of yourself and you will exit this company as a joke. I, on the other hand, am seen as a vicious competitor that is seen as a superstar in this company.
You will truly never get over the fact that I beat you, will you? In the incredibly unlikely situation that you emerge from this match victorious, you still won’t be able to get over the fact that I embarrassed you live on pay per view. Not even beating me will serve as retribution and allow you to get back on with your life. The fact that you did all that talking in the build up, only to lose, it was hilarious for everyone to see. Keep trying it though, ZMAC. Keep trying to be me, you will never be Lincoln Kuechly.
Often imitated, never replicated.
----------------------------------
Dear Zombie McMorris
I know it’s been a while but I’ve been a little busy and I haven’t been able to respond to you. I appreciate the support and the fact that you are my biggest fan. I’m sorry that it has taken so long to get back to you, I know that you are my biggest fan and that I am your idol. I know I promised that I would write back and I am sorry that I didn’t, I hope this can make up for it. I hope that the attention that I am giving you now will help you and take away the pain. I never want to lose you as my biggest fan, here is the attention from me that you wanted. I will aim to respond to all your tweets, Instagram comments and letters that you send to me in the future. I am a very busy man who is too busy dominating in the ring to respond to all my fans. I made an exception with you as I know you are such a huge fan.
Yours sincerely,
Your idol, Lincoln Kuechly