Post by “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley on Feb 13, 2018 9:53:38 GMT -5
The scene opens inside a training gym, two unnamed men - twins with a decent build - following Shia LaBeouf towards a wrestling ring occupied by two others. One some unknown schmuck buuurly fit to lick the boots of the man in the ring with him - none other than MISTAH ACK-SHUN himself, Wesley. As they close in, he executes a perfect frankensteiner off the top turnbuckle, sending the other man sprawling to the mat. As the poor mook gets to his feet, Wesley drops him on his head with a devastating fisherman’s hook - A DUB!BED THE ACTION HOOK! - and scores a sweet three count.
?: Sweet three count, Wesley!
The tanned Adonis gets to his feet and leans over the ropes.
Wesley: Thanks Chase, Sweet noticing of my sweet three count!
?: Yeah, Sweet three count Wes!
Wesley: Don’t be a kissass, Avery.
Chase: Yeah don’t be a kissass, Avery.
Wesley smiles as he fingerguns at Chase.
Wesley: Listen to your brother!
Avery: Sorry guys.
He turns towards Shiaclap.gif
Wesley: And what can I do for you, Witwicky?
Shia LaBeouf: First of all, I resent that remark. At least call me Stevens. That art house shit, got it? Second, got time for an interview? I’m like half into a meth binge and need to blow off some steam.
Wesley: YOU WANT TO INTERVIEW MR. ACTION HIS DAMN SELF?!
Shia LaBeouf: Id like to get it out of the way before the Ketamine kicks in, yeah.
Wesley: THEN YOU GOT IT YELNATS! Also Shia man I think you might have a real problem with drugs man and you should really get some help.
Shia LaBeouf: AHYAAHAHA Let’s get on with the interview then!
Wesley steps through the ropes and sits on the apron.
Shia LaBeouf: You want to start us off?
Wesley focuses into the camera.
Wesley: ACTION! Definition: Noun;
the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim.
See also: Me. Wesley. Mr. Action himself. I only have one aim in Action Wrestling and that’s to be the absolute best this federation has to offer, to have my name be eponymously synonymous with this company.
Wesley laughs under his breath, wiping his hand across his mouth before schmoozing into the camera.
Wesley: And when I look down at the list of names I’m facing in this 201 and Fun Cruiserweight Championship Match? Man, I can’t help but think that I have the absolute leg up on these goobers. I mean, none of them even have Action in their name? So far, off to a bad start. Then you think about it like this, over half of them lost their matches last week! Half! Can you believe that?
Shia LaBeouf: I’m sure most of your opponents in this match will question the validity of your claims here, considering you weren’t even booked for the first show though you were signed to the roster.
Wesley laughs.
Wesley: Is this an interview or a hit job, man?! I was nursing a jammed finger, which could easily turn into something more serious, a fracture, a break even! I did that for the other wrestlers! I did that for the fans! How would Action Wrestling survive without its most Actionest star?
Shia LaBeouf: Anything you want to say to your opponents this week?
Wesley: I’m not going to do this in too many fancy words, though I could verbally run laps around my “so called” opponents this week. KEG, Ricky Flippy, Cereal Man, Johnny Anarchy, Psico, Frost, Zero, and Danielle Wynter. You want to know something all you goobers have in common? You just don’t have what it takes to beat Mr. Action. You know I’m going to come out to that ring, lace you suckers up, and snag up this Cruiserweight Championship something fierce, correct? After I’m done with y’all, they’re going to call this the 201 and...NOT...VERY FUN DIVISION! Y’all are cooked.
Shia LaBeouf: One last question before we go; how do you feel about continuing on the legacy left by your *last name redacted*. In fact, what is your last name?!
Wesley: You want to know my last name? I’ll tell you it’s...
WORD COUNT REACHED.
?: Sweet three count, Wesley!
The tanned Adonis gets to his feet and leans over the ropes.
Wesley: Thanks Chase, Sweet noticing of my sweet three count!
?: Yeah, Sweet three count Wes!
Wesley: Don’t be a kissass, Avery.
Chase: Yeah don’t be a kissass, Avery.
Wesley smiles as he fingerguns at Chase.
Wesley: Listen to your brother!
Avery: Sorry guys.
He turns towards Shiaclap.gif
Wesley: And what can I do for you, Witwicky?
Shia LaBeouf: First of all, I resent that remark. At least call me Stevens. That art house shit, got it? Second, got time for an interview? I’m like half into a meth binge and need to blow off some steam.
Wesley: YOU WANT TO INTERVIEW MR. ACTION HIS DAMN SELF?!
Shia LaBeouf: Id like to get it out of the way before the Ketamine kicks in, yeah.
Wesley: THEN YOU GOT IT YELNATS! Also Shia man I think you might have a real problem with drugs man and you should really get some help.
Shia LaBeouf: AHYAAHAHA Let’s get on with the interview then!
Wesley steps through the ropes and sits on the apron.
Shia LaBeouf: You want to start us off?
Wesley focuses into the camera.
Wesley: ACTION! Definition: Noun;
the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim.
See also: Me. Wesley. Mr. Action himself. I only have one aim in Action Wrestling and that’s to be the absolute best this federation has to offer, to have my name be eponymously synonymous with this company.
Wesley laughs under his breath, wiping his hand across his mouth before schmoozing into the camera.
Wesley: And when I look down at the list of names I’m facing in this 201 and Fun Cruiserweight Championship Match? Man, I can’t help but think that I have the absolute leg up on these goobers. I mean, none of them even have Action in their name? So far, off to a bad start. Then you think about it like this, over half of them lost their matches last week! Half! Can you believe that?
Shia LaBeouf: I’m sure most of your opponents in this match will question the validity of your claims here, considering you weren’t even booked for the first show though you were signed to the roster.
Wesley laughs.
Wesley: Is this an interview or a hit job, man?! I was nursing a jammed finger, which could easily turn into something more serious, a fracture, a break even! I did that for the other wrestlers! I did that for the fans! How would Action Wrestling survive without its most Actionest star?
Shia LaBeouf: Anything you want to say to your opponents this week?
Wesley: I’m not going to do this in too many fancy words, though I could verbally run laps around my “so called” opponents this week. KEG, Ricky Flippy, Cereal Man, Johnny Anarchy, Psico, Frost, Zero, and Danielle Wynter. You want to know something all you goobers have in common? You just don’t have what it takes to beat Mr. Action. You know I’m going to come out to that ring, lace you suckers up, and snag up this Cruiserweight Championship something fierce, correct? After I’m done with y’all, they’re going to call this the 201 and...NOT...VERY FUN DIVISION! Y’all are cooked.
Shia LaBeouf: One last question before we go; how do you feel about continuing on the legacy left by your *last name redacted*. In fact, what is your last name?!
Wesley: You want to know my last name? I’ll tell you it’s...
WORD COUNT REACHED.